Scales and Arpeggios
by KathleenDee
Summary: One note at a time becomes the tune of life as unforeseen events challenge a young family. Crimson and Clover Sequel. AU. A Raine Fic.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

_Four Years Later…._

Paine woke to a warm half embrace she had no idea she participating in. The room was a little cold, even to her. It took a moment for her senses to reorient themselves and her fuzzy mind to replay the events of the last two days. A small smile came with recognition. As Paine looked down to the blonde woman she had been sharing a bed with for the better part of five years. She was pouting softly, her features not aging in the least bit save for a few creases that would become laugh lines or stress lines later on depending upon how life treated her. They were so minor she doubted Rikku even noticed but spending five years with someone gave you a lot of looking time, and Paine loved looking at Rikku.

Paine pushed some of her wife's long blonde hair out of her face and away from her so she didn't roll on it and wake herself up like she tended to do when she wore it out in bed.

Her wife.

With the motion of moving hair Paine had caught sight of the only real piece of jewelry she would ever come to wear regularly. Her wedding band was simple yet different. She liked that Rikku went with her gut and the minimalist approach because she loved it. The only thing that was different was that for one the platinum band was scratch resistant which was probably good in her line of work, and also had a line of small tamed diamonds indented, and that wrapped around the center that left the exterior smooth.

She knew Rikku couldn't resist and to be honest she liked it a lot better in person than in theory.

They had gotten married two days ago, but arrived to The Calm Lands Bed and Breakfast just last night. It was a little harder to believe that they were married yesterday. They got home to their tiny apartment, the same one Paine had lived in for four and a half years, and Paine watched Tv while Rikku lay with her feet on her lap as she worked on an important plan for some office building downtown which she was almost late to the launch meeting the next morning due to all the sex they had the night before.

Paine had heard about sex dying for a lot of couples, she just didn't understand why. She wanted Rikku all of the time, and when they did have sex it was still as passionate as when they had first started. Though it happened a little less, something about having real jobs and responsibilities got in the way of how it was when they first graduated NLU. They went on a period that summer of doing at least twice a day, and then was nonexistent till their wedding night (Rikku wanted them t wait to make it special an idea that Paine begrudgingly agreed to) But that was life right? In the end sex was just a very nice bonus, ice cream an already delicious slice of pie.

She was married for Yevon's sake.

Paine lay there a moment trying not to wake Rikku with the news, like maybe she wasn't present at the small ceremony. Like maybe she didn't know that they were married yet and was waiting for Paine to tell her. It was odd feeling this giddy about something, especially for Paine. The road to this was one bumpy one, starting with their engagement. For Rikku asking Paine to marry her came about after one big fight they had where Rikku slept at Yuna's for an entire week and talking about anything with her girlfriend had become so strained because neither of them really knew what was wrong. Rikku returned to their apartment to find Paine wasn't there either, and hadn't been since they fought. She found a note on the fridge from Paine saying that she was giving her space for her to decide what she wanted.

She hadn't come back from where ever she went for another week and a half and it broke Rikku's heart that they let it get this bad. It hurt to see her things left untouched, her side un-slept in. Rikku herself went on a bagel and jelly bean eating binge one night before crawling into bed and just laying there until morning; eyes wide and watery.

Then one day Paine just came back, Rikku remembered it like it was yesterday when in reality it was months ago. She remembered that she had been sitting on the couch sketching something for Yuna one earlier Saturday morning. Paine opened the door and silently took off her jacket before announcing that she was home. Hearing those two words was all Rikku needed before she pounced Paine into a fierce hug. That night they tried to talk about what was wrong. It turned out Rikku had withdrawn a lot more than she had realized. It wasn't just about feeling unimportant any more to Paine and she needed Rikku to know it. With everything changing from how things were in college they needed to get back on the same page in a major way. They made up by making love right there on the living room floor. Rikku snuck out early the next morning then snuck into the bathtub fully dressed with Paine while she was showering, got on one knee, and proposed.

"_Marry me? I can't wait anymore. I love you, I always have and always will, and I know you do to. I want this more than I've ever wanted anything… will you marry me Paine? " She couldn't lose her, and that feeling of almost getting hit by a car was a good enough one to really put what was important into prospective. _

Paine could remember being paralyzed and for a moment they just stayed like that. Paine holding her soapy blue loofah ball against her skin and Rikku on one knee, with her clothes slowly becoming soaked, not even flinching with the water spraying her directly in the face.

Paine looked down at the woman beside her. She could remember feeling so scared during those two weeks of not seeing or communicating with Rikku. She didn't know what would or had happened to get them like that. But seeing Rikku waiting there, water getting in her eyes but they never blinked. It was like she was putting her heart on the table and Paine had sworn she had it before but it was being offered again because maybe somewhere she misplaced it.

Now they were married, wife and wife, and Paine honestly had never known a joy as enthusiastic as this one. She'd have to ask Rikku what happened at their wedding because honestly all she could do was look at her bride.

The Calm Lands had been Rikku's idea. As soon as they arrived Paine could feel all the troubles and weight of living in a bustling city like New Luca be washed away by the historic serenity of the once violent battle grounds. The little bed and breakfast Inn they were staying was called Eternal and was run by an elderly woman named Vesta. She showed them to their luxury extended stay room last night and even sent up a nice basket of treats since the kitchen was closed when they arrived. Old habits showing themselves Paine didn't say much to her, she supposed it was just her city girl mentality on overly helpful people, but Vesta and Rikku had spoken for a little before the blonde came up to settle in for the night.

And what a night it had been.

Paine sighed contently into the fresh linen and stretched her legs out. The window in their room was open to let some air in and from the looks of it they had managed to sleep in a bit.

She was starting to really like it here.

Here being in this new stage in life.

It sometimes seemed like she was a completely different person, having been clean for six years probably had something to do with it. Her body just felt new, and she were actually able to sleep a whole night without stirring; something that was unheard of even a year ago. Rikku seemed a lot happier too and Paine felt good about where they were. She was her best most special friend, different from all the rest, her lover, and now her wife.

Rikku smiled a little. "What's that little smile about?" She whispered, her voice was thick, and her Al Bhed accent more present than usual.

Paine turned her head quickly to meet her unexpected gaze. How long had she been awake? Paine shrugged and turned toward Rikku to place a hand on her lower back with one hand and lean her head on the other. "Nothin'"

Rikku continued her closed mouth smile. "So pneta."

"Pretty cool huh?"

She laughed and nodded in agreement. "Pretty cool Pai."

Paine leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. "How did you sleep?" She asked when she settled back on her elbow.

Rikku stretched and then fell limp. "Amazing, I love this bed, can we bring it home with us?"

Paine laughed a little, the bed was pretty damn comfortable though. "Yeah right."

"It could fit."

"Where?"

"With your things."

"Ah since you brought like three extra bags."

She grinned lightly knowing very well that their first little argument as a married couple was on why she needed to pack two extra bags. "The weather here is so unpredictable." She restated her initial argument.

"You're lucky you're my wife."

Rikku laughed and nodded. "Sure am."

They lay quietly just absorbing the later morning. Paine moved to lie on her back and Rikku cuddled up on her side. Graduating second in her class right under her Arch school bestie and her official career rival Lucil Marsh was impressive considering how close it was, hell even landing an internship and then a job at one of New Luca's most successful private Architecture firms had even felt better, but nothing at all could top the feeling of being Rikku Milan Bayla-Kerrigan. "Rikku Kerrigan…."

Paine smiled. "I'll believe it when I see it." They were still waiting on the papers.

Rikku grinned. "What do you call this?" She motioned to show her flashier diamond wedding ring. Paine shrugged and Rikku hugged her closer. "It means you can't ever get mad at me ever again."

Paine laughed. "That's not what it means."

"Well what does it mean then? You always have to share your french fries with me?" She joked.

"Again, something that is just never going to happen."

"Alright then what huh?"

Paine thought on it. "It means that even when I do get mad, I'll always come back." She glanced at Rikku. "And it means that you'll never be alone, unless of course you need to be, I'm always gonna be here."

"Always?"

Paine nodded. "Yeah."

"Aw." Rikku leaned forward to steal a small kiss. "I think I'm gonna like being married to you."

Paine laughed. "Well fuck I mean it's a little late to have cold feet babe."

"Can I tell you something?" Paine nodded. "I was real nervous…"

"At the wedding?" Rikku nodded. "Why?"

"Weren't you?"

Paine nodded quickly. "You have no idea."

Rikku smiled. "You got all teary on me." She nudged Paine softly remembering the moisture in her fiancé's eyes when they stood there facing each other in front of their friends and family.

Paine blushed a little and scratched the back of her head. "You think they got a picture of that?"

Rikku smiled. "No."

"Good."

"It was sweet."

"I guess I was just…y'know realizing it, like it just hit me then."

"Mhm."

"Why were you so nervous?"

"Well it's not every day a girl gets married Pypo, I was freaking out that something would just happen like I'd trip or I'd break a heel or—"

"You looked so beautiful."

Rikku smiled widely. "So did you."

"I think that's when I stopped being nervous…like when we got up there and you took my hand, I was like alright cool, I can do this." Paine looked off for a second. "I remembered."

"I think it's when you smiled at me, when I was walking to you, you kinda gave me this little smile that said everything would be okay, I knew you wouldn't do that unless you were sure."

"You didn't think I was sure?"

Rikku gave her wife an honest look. "Sometimes… I didn't want to scare you away." They had had a rather fast engagement of only a few months.

Paine frowned a little. "I wasn't going anywhere Ri."

"I know, just…you know me."

Paine nodded once. "Crazy."

Rikku smiled at the little smile Paine wore. She knew it meant that all that stuff that led up to them almost breaking up was in the past. "Well then I couldn't get up there faster." Paine laughed a little. "Then Pops had like the biggest moment ever, like really it wasn't that serious." Paine laughed louder this time remembering the awkwardly long embrace between father and daughter. "I mean c'mon."

"He was just happy."

"I know but couldn't he have picked a different time to do that?" Rikku narrowed her eyes at Paine who was having a good time laughing at her. "It's not funny! His big ol' shoulders messed up my hair."

"You're hair looked fine."

"You know whose hair was awesome?"

"Hm?"

"Lulu's."

Paine sighed at the mention of her sister. "Babe her hair always looked that way, she put a fucking ribbon in it and everyone's impressed."

Rikku laughed. "Oh baby I know, your hair was the best. Is that better?" Paine nodded cutely. "Aw, it's okay." She patted Paine's arm and kissed her sweetly on the lips.

Paine rolled her eyes. "Alright alright."

Rikku patted her head. "Best hair goes to you."

After another few hours of being in bed and being together the duo finally decided to venture out to get some food. Paine showered first and pulled on some jeans and a long sleeve shirt before letting Rikku enter the shower while she did her hair in the bathroom mirror.

"I don't feel like eating something new." Rikku said from behind the steamy curtain.

"What do you mean?" The fourth degree black belt asked as she patted an area that was effected by bed head.

"Like I don't feel like being adventurous. I want comfort food."

"Al Bhed?"

"No…just y'know something I know."

"We can get ribs in Macalania."

"How far is that?"

Paine shrugged before picking up some more gel. "I don't know."

"We can do that…Paine?"

"Yeah babe?"

"Should we call someone?"

"What?"

"Y'know like Pop or Keira or something…"

Paine glanced at the shower curtain then back to the mirror that kept getting foggy on her. "…If you want?"

"No but just to say hey, we're here, and y'know…"

"I don't think their expecting a call any time soon."

"Why not?"

"Cause honeymoons are mainly spent fucking."

The bathroom was silent for a moment. All that could be heard was the water running.

"Well…I'm gonna call."

Paine chuckled at how her voice sounded. It was as if the idea of a honeymoon was lost on her until just now, which Paine thought was funny because in no way shape or form was her wife innocent. "Okay."

"Call Gippal too."

"I'm not calling Gippal." She could only imagine his response to the premature phone call.

"Why not Pai?"

Paine shook her head. "Because he's not expecting one."

"Well at least Keira."

"I thought you were calling her."

"She's not my mom."

"She is now."

Rikku laughed at the truth in that. Over the years she watched Paine and Keira relationship grow, and then for a week Paine had to leave for a seminar on training and Keira had gotten her days mixed up and came over to bring Paine something. Well she and Rikku ended up staying up all night drinking wine and talking about Paine. Ever since then Rikku had had a better understanding on where Keira was coming from and it was completely unexpected but she actually enjoyed her company a lot. She reminded Rikku of Paine in so many ways you'd have thought she actually did raise the girl.

Before she had a mother, then she had none, now she had two.

Her father and Leblanc had finally tied the knot two years ago, and Rikku took a scary amount of pleasure from calling Leblanc "Ma." even though she knew Juliann hated it. Maybe that's why she liked doing it. It was their own way of continuing the relationship they had before but Cid found it sweet that his wife began to respond to it without noticing. Rikku remembered how conflicted she felt about the wedding, it made her miss her mother and even honestly dislike Leblanc before both Yuna and Paine talked some sense into her. If she really thought about it Leblanc had essentially been as present and sometimes a little bit more so than her father had while she was in her late teens and early twenties.

"Paine Kerrigan…"

"Rikku Kerrigan…" Paine mocked.

Rikku smiled behind all the soap suds she had made. Making the decision to add on Paine's last name was probably one of the easiest one throughout the long term of wedding planning. She was always going to be a Bayla, but adding the Kerrigan was more of a symbolic thing for the life she wanted with Paine. Plus they flipped a coin and Rikku lost, but no one had to know that.

"Alright well that's not as annoying as you intended it to be." She could hear Paine let out a small chuckle. "Call."

"Fine, fuck."

"And stop cursing."

"…"

Rikku chuckled. "Thank you."

"Mhm."

Rikku made sure to rinse off well and then turned off the water and pulled her towel around her before stepping out of the large tub. "I mean not today or anything but eventually…"

"Cursing?" She knew saying that was just Rikku wasting her breath. She had been cursing for a long time now.

"No silly, calling."

Paine's attention was lost at the sight of her wife fresh out of the shower. "We might as well send out a mass email." She joked dryly before putting her comb down and pulling Rikku close.

Rikku gave Paine a look to her comment but not to her actions. "We could be dead in a ditch."

"Or we could be doing it in a ditch."

Rikku had to laugh a little. "Alright I guess I see your point."

"Mhm."

Rikku placed her hands on Paine's strong biceps and enjoyed the tender kiss they shared. "You know there is room service..."

Paine smirked and lowered her hands. "You read my mind."

##

Rikku moaned softly and lessened her grip of soft smoky hair. "What?" She murmured. Why was Paine stopping?

Paine looked down at Rikku. "You don't wanna go?" They had an appointment to go chocobo riding that Paine was actually pretty fucking excited about, but by the time they got back from eating and fooling around some more time escaped them. It was only Paine coming up for air that caused her to see what time it was.

Rikku just stared up at Paine in the well lit room; confusion and mild annoyance evident on her features. "What?"

Paine shifted. "Chocobo riding babe." She said softly.

Rikku let her arms drop from around Paine's almost naked upper torso. "You stopped because of—"

"I'm just asking."

Rikku closed her eyes and shook her head. "Pypo…"

"We already put down a deposit."

"Of five dollars."

"Money doesn't grow on trees."

Rikku chuckled to herself and then opened her eyes again. She smirked lightly to herself when she realized something. Snaking her arms back up Paine's and around her neck she purred. "Don't you want me to ride you instead?"

For a brief second Paine didn't say anything. Rikku knew she was confusing her between two things she wanted more than anything and it was hilarious to see the gears turning as she nonverbally weighted the pros and cons.

Eventually Paine leaned down and pecked Rikku's lips. "You know I do." She breathed. "But….you said we would…"

Rikku smiled softly. "You're adorable."

Paine made a face. "I just thought it'd be nice to actually do something here…"

The blonde laughed at how quickly she jumped to the defensive when being called something that had little to no threat power. Rikku sat up. "You're still adorable." She made a move to get off of the bed. "C'mon." Her wife wanted to go chocobo riding, well then she would take her chocobo riding.

##

Gippal furrowed his brows. "What the fuck you callin' me for?"

Paine rolled her eyes. "To tell you I'm not in a ditch."

"Is that code for you aint getting any?"

Paine exhaled. "How's Em?"

"Y'know…who knows. How's the wife?"

Paine looked over her shoulder back into the tiny storefront they stopped at. Rikku was at the counter buying something. "Spending money."

Gippal chuckled then paused. "You wanna run that by me again? What the fuck do you think this is choco- burger? I said no substitutes….yeah…..Hello?"

"Thought you didn't work on Mondays?"

"What the hell am I supposed to do with myself while this chick is off in Djose cutting people open?"

"Read a book?"

"Nah."

"So you two good then?" Elma and Gippal were eerily stable as a couple. It was scary. But then again they weren't even a couple right now since they broke up two months ago. Paine didn't want the details but it seemed things were fine at the wedding since she was Gippal's date.

The again they were Elma and Gippal, stable for them was probably an overstatement, but whatever the issue they were always together when they could be, that had to mean something right?

"I mean sure…Why?"

Paine shrugged. "Just makin' sure you're not getting into anything."

Gippal nodded appreciating the check up. He had relapsed once before and Paine was right there for him while he got through it. Now they checked on each other from time to time. When Paine got into that big fight with Rikku she had spent those two weeks with him trying to sort things out in her head, but most importantly trying to maintain her sobriety. "You good?"

Paine nodded to herself. "Yeah."

"Fuck then let's hang up, I gotta plate some stuff here, and you should be plating something as well, know what I'm sayin'?"

Paine shook her head. "Alright."

Then just like that they hung up. Paine stuffed her hands into her pockets and looked up the sleepy little store front street in Central, It was the central most habituated area of The Calm Lands, and they were spending one of their last days of their honeymoon exploring the little town. Tomorrow was Gagazet, and then the day after they would be heading home. Had a week gone by that quickly? Paine turned to enter the little boutique and walked up to Rikku who had just swiped her debit card for something.

"Paine look how cute this is."

Paine shook her head at the fabric. It was colorful, it was Rikku. "A shirt…"

"It's not a shirt it's a dress…duh." Rikku smiled at the woman at the counter who handed her the new purchase. "I think I'll wear it tonight." She said as she looped her hand through Paine's arm and walked out of the store. Rikku loved Calm Land weather; it was like springtime year round, she wasn't missing the cold, muggy streets of New Luca at all right now.

"I mean sure, just don't get mad when I end up punching someone."

"Oh stop, it's not that short."

"Baby to you short is like underwear."

"Your point?"

Paine chuckled. "Again, don't get mad."

Rikku just smiled as they walked back toward the cozy little BnB. "So who did you end up calling?"

"Gip."

"Ohh are he and Elma back together?"

"They seemed okay at the wedding right?"

Rikku shrugged. "Too busy staring at my wife."

Paine smiled. "Yea, me too. Guess we really have to watch the video when it comes in."

"Oh that's gonna be good, Yunie said people got real drunk after we left."

"I believe it, open bar? Definitely a Bayla move."

Rikku chuckled then elbowed Paine lightly in the rib. "Um, you weren't' exactly complaining."

"How could I? I was marrying the most amazing person in Spira."

Rikku grinned. "We're married now, you don't have to butter me up anymore."

"Really?" Paine visibly relaxed. "Fuck that took forever."

"Hey!"

They continue their slow little walk just enjoying the time together. With them both working now the week had become mundane in ritual. It was nice to do things that weren't so boring and adultish.

"I'm sad we have to go home soon." Rikku looked about the streets. "It's so relaxing here."

"Yeah I know." The evening sun was out and the breeze light enough to cause a chill but not enough to be cold. An amazing feat for a January evening.

"We definitely need a vacation home here."

Paine laughed. "We don't even have a home home where we live."

"The apartment?"

Paine shrugged. "Yeah but, I was thinking maybe we should look into moving…" She had a wife now, somehow living in that tiny apartment didn't seem acceptable.

Rikku nodded slowly. "Yeah?" For Paine to actually bring it up like that meant she had been thinking about it for a while.

Paine nodded back. "If you want."

"We can at least look." She smiled to herself.

"Yeah cause after this week we're kinda broke for a little bit." They both wanted to do something nice for their honeymoon, so it was understood that some cash money was going to be dropped. It's what made Rikku buying a few nice things okay. They hadn't yet joined bank accounts but it was one of the first things to do upon their return. Rikku was serious about it. She had seen how miscommunication with Paine on money could lead to arguing and she didn't want that. They both made decent wages for what they did, Paine brought in a little bit more since she was essentially running Bridgeport Studios now, and Rikku was merely entry level in the firm. Her father had helped some with the wedding, but really they had spent enough to be on a tight budget when they got back, at least for a little while. Paine paid rent and Rikku paid for groceries and utilities and it worked out well enough for when they were just girlfriends but once they went to the bank she was sure she and Paine would have to sit down again. It was just one of those things about adulthood you heard about but never really dealt with until you were actually an adult. Paine was very…Paine. She liked to pay for things but then she was also frugal. Rikku hated going grocery shopping with her, so that's why she usually just did it herself. Paine didn't see the bill, she just saw the fridge was full and Rikku got all her favorite things. Rikku was sure she would need to cut back if they got a bigger place though.

"What do you want to do tonight?" Rikku asked.

Paine shrugged. "I'm kind of enjoying this doing nothing thing."

She smiled. "Good, you need to relax more." Paine had been stressing out a few months leading up to the wedding. _Yfih ifihadnurk ert rydnurk_ Rikku always liked to say.

"Mm." Paine motioned to a bus stop. It was the first she had noticed in the little town. "You wanna go exploring?"

"On the bus?"

Paine chuckled. "Yeah I mean, it'll take us somewhere everyone around here goes, my first time seeing one…" She let go of Rikku's hand for a second before running up to the stop and grabbing a schedule before returning back to her wife's side. They got back into their room to find the bed made up with new sheets and the bathroom cleaned. Rikku left to go try on her new dress leaving Paine to plop down on the bed and open up the bus schedule and map. She followed a few routes with her finger and then grabbed Rikku's cell phone since it was the fanciest out of the two of them. She searched a couple of places and then decided that maybe tonight would turn out to be really fun after all.

"Babe," Paine opened the bathroom door. "You wanna go dancing?"

Rikku stopped adjusting her dress and beamed up at Paine. "You hate dancing."

Paine shrugged. "So?" It wasn't that she hated dancing she knew Rikku was just messing with her, it was that she knew Rikku loved dancing and what better way to spend one of their last night's here doing something they hadn't done since all the wedding planning started. "We can eat downstairs and then go. Sound good?"

"Where are we going?"

Paine motioned to the map. "Macalania Bizzarro district."

##

Paine held Rikku a little closer as they walked down the street sometime that night. "This place is fucking weird." She noted as they passed a man dressed as a chocobo chatting it up with a woman dressed as a man.

Rikku giggled. A little tipsy still from the drinks at the only dance club for miles around. "I like it here."

The streets were damp and smelt of earth. It was like something out of a fiction novel. The beautiful sparkling scenery of Macalania Woods played background to what reminded Paine of some of the more sketchier places in New Luca. But it just felt different, she wasn't necessarily scared, she was just….weirded out. "You would."

Rikku chuckled and leaned into Paine a little more. "I had fun tonight, wait till Yunie hears about this little place."

"You still gonna be up for that tour tomorrow?" Their scheduled group left sometime in the morning and it was already pretty late.

"Maybe…" Something had caught Rikku's eye. "Pai let's go in there." She pointed to a lit up store front on the corner just before where the late bus would come and pick them up.

Paine followed to where she was pointing and squinted to read the sign. "MunchBox? Sounds like a sex shop…"

"That's cause it is." Rikku laughed but then looked up at Paine to gauge her response to the suggestion.

Paine glanced down at Rikku then back up just as quickly. "I mean…we might miss our bus."

"We have like a whole half hour." Rikku pushed Paine along when she simply nodded. "It's not because of you or anything…" Rikku tried to read the unfamiliar look on Paine's face.

"Why would it be because of me?" She asked quickly.

Rikku laughed and took her wife's hand. "Let's just check it out, you never know you might see something you like."

The whole place just felt funny to Paine. First off there were dildos everywhere, she had never felt more gay than she did now standing in the lube section with her seemingly un-phased wife. They had been together for quite a while now, five years basically and things in the bedroom had always been hot the way they were right? Right? Rikku never complained…

Paine followed Rikku down the aisles with her hands in her pockets. For starters she was never a browsing type of girl, she liked to know what she wanted before even going into a store, second off she didn't think she'd really know what to want from a sex shop. They didn't need lube, so why were they even in this section? Did they need lube?

"Do we need lube?" Paine asked quietly.

Rikku couldn't be enjoying herself any more than if she were up in her old attic painting Paine nude. She could tell her wife was uncomfortable, but it was a cute uncomfortable not an upset uncomfortable. She could tell the taller woman was questioning just about everything she laid her eyes on, and she could tell everything that she even glanced at for more than a second was making Paine wonder something.

"No." Rikku looked over her shoulder at her. "Just looking."

Paine nodded and cleared her throat a little.

Rikku hid her smile. "I was thinking though…"

"Yeah?"

"Maybe we could…" She tilted her chin. "Try something new."

Paine was quiet a moment. "Like what?" Rikku shrugged and headed down the strap on section. Paine followed after her quickly. "I don't know about.." She glanced at a leather onesie attached to a dildo the size of her arm. "This…"

"Neither do I, y'know you're my first and my forever so I was just thinking that maybe…"

Paine bit the inside of her mouth gently. "You want me to…y'know." She motioned to the wall of rubber. It wasn't like she was completely against the idea, but all of a sudden she felt fourteen again. Clumsy and unsure, and this was Rikku, she had always been so confident about sex with her. Paine had zero real experience with strapping it on. I mean it couldn't be too hard…Paine briefly wondered why they were having this encounter so late in their relationship. I mean they were fucking married. Didn't married people have all this shit figured out already?

Rikku bit her lip too, a little blush at her ears. "I mean it can't be too bad."

"But it's like…a dick."

"Well but it'd be you see, and that'd be…" Rikku looked back to Paine. "That'd be okay…I read that lots of lesbians do it."

"I know." Paine said quickly. She didn't want to make it seem like she wasn't as good or like she had reservations. "Whatever you want baby." She decided that Rikku had read somewhere about something that meant she had to look it up and maybe this was awkward for her too. She didn't want Rikku to feel like she were missing something she supposed. Whatever Rikku wanted it was her job to give it to her, especially in this department seeing as how they vowed to be monogamous. "I mean we're married now so…" Paine shrugged not even knowing what that had to do with anything.

Rikku laughed a little then looked back to the wall. "I wouldn't even know where to start…how about a cute color…"

"It's not a scarf Rikks…"

"Alright so like pink or…oh, here's a green one, you like green."

"Not on a dick." Paine blurted out.

"They're not dicks Pypo." Rikku shushed.

"Alright alright…." Paine sighed and glanced about the wall. "Why are we in the small section?"

Rikku burst out in laughter and then tried to contain it when she realized Paine wasn't joking. "Oh so you think you'd be bigger?"

Paine nodded. "I mean…c'mon."

Rikku found the little stance Paine shifted into hilarious. "Alright Pai, you pick then."

Her confidence was gone just as fast as it came. "No what? This was your idea."

"And what makes you think I wouldn't want to use it?"

"Oh who?" Paine looked around behind her. "Nah, sorry Princess."

Rikku rolled her eyes. "Oh stop, you and I both know that you like—"

"Would you just pick one then? Fuck." Paine walked off mumbling leaving Rikku chuckling.

She loved her wife, and that was just that.

On the bus ride home Paine was trying very hard to ignore the grinning Al Bhed sitting beside her.

##

Paine paced the bedroom with vigor.

Did she wait before things got hot and heavy to put it on? Or did she have it ready…

"For the love of fuck." Paine growled at herself. This in her mind was not the time and place. She had loved women all of her life, and yeah when she was younger she wondered what having an extra part would feel like, she didn't necessarily want one, but she had wondered. Then she turned out to be very capable of getting things done on her own. Hell she had kept Rikku happy for years. Why was she making her do this! "I mean it aint like you never wanted to." Paine reminded herself as she continued to pace with the light purple dildo in her left hand and the strap on part in her right.

Rikku pretended to be "getting comfortable" in the bathroom, when really she was sitting on the sink playing a game on her phone while she listened to her crazy wife pace and talk to herself. Was it mean? Rikku didn't think so, Paine was the love of her life, she understood when things were new for her she got nervous…maybe not to this degree but it was a learning process. She found it endearing. This was the woman she had married and she loved her for it. With a little sigh and a yawn Rikku hopped off of the sink and turned the shower off. She was a little surprised when Paine knocked on the door.

Rikku opened it and smiled. "Hello."

"C'mon." Paine motioned to the room.

"Are you rushing me?" Rikku chuckled.

Paine shook her head no. "I'm a lil…"She ran a hand through her hair. "I mean I'm twenty five."

Rikku laughed and put her arms around Paine's neck. "You know what I think?"

"What?"

"I think you need a drink."

Paine laughed. "I'm freaking out for nothing aren't I?"

Rikku nodded. "A little, but it's cute so I'll allow it."

"I was thinking about it and I…" Paine shrugged. "I don't wanna hurt you or nothing…maybe we should have gotten a smaller.."

The blonde smiled softly. "Pai it's just for fun, relax hm? You know what I like? I like you." She rubbed her hands up and down her wife's toned arms. "I like how you feel, and how you smell, and just everything. I'm not trying to replace you."

Paine laughed a little. "I know I know…" She put her arms around Rikku. "Just kinda took me for surprise."

"So you've never ever?"

"Nope."

Rikku smirked. "Well tonight's your lucky night."

Paine gave Rikku a look. "No."

"Ah c'mon."

"Rikks."

"We'll flip a coin."

Paine paused. "….Alright fine, go get one."

"Yay!"

##

Paine was a fast learner….

"Fuck baby." Paine breathed at the nonsense Rikku was sputtering as she hit the block before Orgasm Avenue.

Rikku swore she was going to die. She just couldn't deal with the way Paine rolled her hips like no matter what she had she was made to love her. Right now she just happened to be equipped with a little extra. The blonde realized this had to be payback for what she had done not long ago that had the Judo fighter submitting in the sexiest of ways.

Paine used her palms to lean on as she slowed down on purpose. "Cum." She ordered as she grinded her hips in slower. Rikku responded by moaning loudly. She jerked a second later and grabbed at Paine's arm beside her head.

"Mmm Here?" Paine jumped her whole body into the motion.

"Ye-Y-Y-Yes!" Rikku's back arched high off the bed. Paine wrapped her left arm under her back and fell on top of her completely, using the bed as leverage as she pushed deeper.

"Right here Princess?" She asked again into Rikku's ear hoarsely.

"Painne..Pypo…mmm." She took a deep breath and held it shakily as she felt her wife's tongue coil gently against her ear lobe. "Vilg…uh.."

Not long later Rikku found herself in the afterglow of one very hot love session with her new Mrs. The room was dim; lit only by a few amber lamps, she was hungry and sleepy and warm and happy. The blonde watched as Paine ridded herself of the extra appendage and disappeared to the bathroom, moments later returning with a tall glass of warm water and shorts and a tank top on. She drank half then set it on the nightstand before running a hand through her hair and climbing into bed on Rikku's left. The blonde immediately took this as the opportunity to turn towards her and cuddle as best as she could while wrapped up in a blanket.

Paine chuckled at the amount of blanket between them "Baby." It was raspy, the kind of raspy Rikku loved.

"Come come." She whispered and pulled Paine closer.

Paine leaned over her and smirked a little. "You good?"

Rikku offered a similar smirk in return. "Are you?"

The tips of Paine's ears flushed a little but not more so than her entire body was right now from her previous activity. Paine nodded and sighed gently as she settled back on her back. Rikku uncoiled some of the blanket and covered Paine's lower torso as she wrapped one of her legs between Paine's. Paine adjusted herself so that her arm was around Rikku and the other behind her own head.

That had been an experience.

Paine nodded in the thought. She snuck a glance at Rikku who was resting her cheek against the inside of Paine's shoulder and had her eyes closed. She had meant for it to be a glance but staring at Rikku as her wife was still so new. For the longest time they had been girlfriends, and for a short time fiancés, her image never changed in Paine's eyes. She was Rikku and that was that, now though, well things just seemed more…heavy. More real, she was a woman, a woman who had grown so much and now was pledging herself to her forever. Things had to change, Paine wasn't quite sure what exactly, nothing was really wrong, but this was her wife. She came before everyone and Paine needed to keep that in mind always.

"You're gorgeous." She whispered.

Rikku's eyes opened and found Paine's. They lay like that for a long time, neither saying anything. Finally Rikku used her right hand to rub Paine's stomach softly. "E muja oui."

They kissed.

You couldn't tell her five years ago that she would be lying here, married, with a woman. Rikku just wouldn't have accepted it, but everything just changed so fast, everything she knew and everything she learned with Paine. Growing with her had been one of the greatest joys, and yeah everything was far from cookie cutter perfect. There were days where they were so out of sync that all they did was argue, but it was never as real as their last blow out. From that moment when Paine came home Rikku knew she wasn't letting her go ever, she simply couldn't go about things without her. She had done the damage, and it had hurt Paine.

Never again

She wouldn't turn into her father, no job was that important. The one thing she wanted most was lying right here beside her.

"Pypo?" Rikku whispered.

Paine turned back to her from staring at the ceiling. "Yeah?"

"I'm confused."

Paine studied her for a second and then turned her body to face her. "About what?"

Rikku sighed and made a little noise that Paine found completely adorable. "I'm hungry but I'm also really sleepy…I wish you could eat food for me and it would go to me." She pouted.

Paine eased into a smile. "You asking me to make you a sandwich?"

A little grin played on her mouth. "What else are wives for?"

Paine chuckled. "Lovin' you up, which I just did, amazingly I might add." She made a show of stretching out. "I did my duty."

Rikku rolled her eyes then closed them as she snuggled closer to Paine. "Oh please, I carry this team." She yawned then.

Once the amusement died down Paine yawned lightly. "You want me to go downstairs and get you something though?"

Rikku barely shook her head no.

"Alright well I need to go to the bathroom so…Princess?" Paine waited for her to nod or something. "Ri…" When she got no reply Paine sighed heavily, she was tangled up in Rikku and to get up to go to the bathroom would just wake her up and she knew how tired she was from their daily excursions and nightly activities.

With another yawn Paine realized that she'd just have to hold it till Rikku was in a deeper sleep.

Marriage was compromise after all right?

##

"Fucking—"

"Alright right already, she cut you off, get over it." Rikku sighed heavily as she put her bags down in the tiny living room of their apartment. They had had a long trip home and it was clear to them both that they were just tired.

"Where did she buy her damn license is what I want to know." Paine kicked out of her shoes before going tin to the kitchen to get water.

"Oui you are so exhausting to travel with." Rikku rolled her eyes and stepped out of her flats and moved to gather Paine's forgotten shoes.

"Yeah well…If people weren't so fucking—"

"Can you pour me some water too?"

Paine sighed, maybe she should let it go, they were home safe and sound and oh yeah, she was married. With a silent nod to herself Paine grabbed an extra glass. "Yeah."

Rikku walked over to the pressed the little red light on their answering machine.

"_Hi, you've reached Rikku Bayla_" Came Rikku's voice before Paine jumped in. "_And Paine Kerrigan_." Then Rikku again. "_We aren't able to come to the phone right now, but leave your name and number and we'll get back to you as soon as possible, bye!_"

Beeeeeepppppp

"_Hey guys it's me_." It was Lai. "_Work here is getting extended a bit, won't be back for a week it seems. Anyway hope the honeymoon went well, Paine I'll give you a call when I can. Bye._" Rikku leaned forward from her spot on the couch to hear the next message.

"_Now?"_ A little voice came on the phone.

"_Yeah, say it now."_ Came Wakka's encouraging whisper.

"_Hi Aunty Pai and Aunty Weekku."_

Rikku's heart melted every time Vidina said her name these days. "Pai it's Viddy!" She called. Paine emerged a second later and leaned on the back of the couch over Rikku.

"_Um…Daddy said dat I should say sometin' so I'm sayin' sometin'…..Huh?"_ They could hear Wakka in the background. _"Oh happy wedding! and..nd moons! Bye!"_

"Oh my gosh he's too much." Rikku cooed.

Paine chuckled. "I can't believe he's using the phone now."

"Pretty soon he'll be doing pre-calculus." Rikku shook her head and then went to the next message.

"_Milan it's your father. Call me immediately when you get this." _

"Uh oh." Paine chuckled.

Rikku rolled her eyes and checked the date on the last one. "He called right before we got in."

Paine went back into the kitchen. "Call him back."

"Ugh. Alright." Rikku picked up the phone and dialed her old house number. "Ma!" She furrowed her brows when Leblanc didn't sound annoyed but more worried. "Where's Pop, Paine and I just got in…mhm…" She glanced at Paine who raised an eyebrow at Rikku's confused expression. "Pop….no I'm good..sitting? Yeah why?..." Rikku stilled. "Ruf?" She whispered. She gulped quietly and her eyes shot to Paine's quickly. Paine knew the look well. Something had happened. "…Yeah…n…no I'm fine…. Yunie? I…I….okay…Pop?" The last word sounding a bit wobbly. "Tet cra...fyc cra eh byeh?" Rikku looked to the ground. "Okay…yes…I-I love you too…bye."

"What happened?"

Rikku held the phone in between her hands carefully, she was clearly still in shock at whatever news she had just received. "Knyhtsy passed away last night..."

**AN: I'mmm baccckkkkk. Oh and am I excited lol. First off everyone who reviewed CnC you are amazing, and I do appreciate your words of encouragement. I hope you all enjoy this fic just as much as the first. Tell me what you think of the start up. Review!**

**KathleenDee**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two **

She prodded her fingers lightly against the creamy skin of her wife's cleavage. "So then I'll just go…"

"You're not going alone."

Rikku looked up at Paine from her spot against her chest. They had yet to fall into a peaceful slumber from their long day of traveling. After getting the news of Milana's passing Rikku couldn't do much of anything and it pained Paine to see her trying so hard to be strong about it. She was sitting up in bed clad in only her underwear with her back to the headboard and her arms enveloping Rikku in a warm embrace. "What about this weekend?" The blonde reasoned.

Paine had her fifth dan examination scheduled for this weekend. She had been working hard on it the past year and Rikku knew what it meant to her.

"That's not important right now." She dismissed.

Rikku went back to resting her head against Paine's chest. "She seemed fine at the wedding…"

"It was just her time Ri." She knew that wasn't what she wanted to hear but it was all Paine had. Milana had passed away in her sleep, and that was just that. She herself knew how frustrating that was for Rikku to hear. She wanted to be upset at something, but what could she really be upset about? This was life. "She's still with you."

Rikku huffed lightly. "You're Yeonite is showing." she joked tiredly. Paine had grown up knowing the Yevon scriptures so well only because she and Gippal were made to copy with when they misbehaved. She knew that her wife thought the whole priest hood was bologna but still, it showed and contrasted to the Al Bhed's blunt way at looking at life. "We hold onto people who want nothing more than to be left alone in death…" Rikku quoted and then felt Paine hug her closer.

"Doesn't mean it hurts any less."

Rikku nodded and wiped her face and sighed again. "It hurts a whole lot Paine." Her voice was raw. "She was my favorite person y'know?"

"I know."

They remained quiet for a while. "She told me to enjoy it."

"What?"

Rikku looked up at Paine again. "Before we left for home, when you were saying bye to Lulu and Wakka, she told me to enjoy this, us, muja." Rikku's face grew hot with tears pushing for release. "That was the last thing she said…to me…."

Paine leaned forward and pressed a long kiss on the side of Rikku's head. "You know what she said to me? Before that?" Rikku looked at her in question with tears staining her face already. Paine cleared her throat softly. "Ev cra kadc rind uha uv druca pmycdat lrulupu E's rumtehk oui bancuhymmo nacbuhcepma." Paine imitated Rikku's grandmother's response when she told her they planned to go chocobo riding on their honeymoon. "Then she pushed me." Rikku laughed because no one bullied Paine out of affection like Milana did. Her laughter made Paine smile but the smile disappeared when she began to cry again. Paine sighed. "Oh Ri, I'm sorry. I'm sorry Princess." Paine sighed gently wishing there was something more she could do,

Exactly an hour and a half later Paine's alarm clock went off. With a swift hand and lucky balance the older woman was able to cut it off before it woke the blonde beside her, who up until an hour ago had lain awake just staring at the wall.

She was going to go to the gym, but now that the dim light of morning crept in she wanted nothing more to just lie there until Rikku woke up. What she'd say then, she didn't know, but the feeling of being completely helpless in the situation frustrated Paine, it caused her to be restless, and that in turn caused any hope of sleep again to disappear. Although she should have been exhausted from travel and staying up all night with her wife Paine shrugged it off as just another feeling, like needing the restroom or being hungry, with the right steps it'd go away soon enough.

She slid out bed and pulled a pair of baggy sweats on before taking another glance at Rikku then heading to use the bathroom. The tiled floor was ice, even though their little love nest was well insulated from the cold January morning outside some things never really changed. Since they had been gone a week the heat had been turned off to save on money, Rikku took her flowers to her father's for keeping and she readied the mini fireplace for their return.

Paine brushed her teeth and washed her face once the tap turned warm. On the final scrub to rid her face of signs of fatigue she noticed her wedding band in the florescent bathroom lighting. For a moment she held her hands still, watching the metal ring with curiosity. She had never really thought of the symbolism behind a ring as a sign of commitment, not really until now that is. It didn't fix any little problems, Paine wasn't expecting it to. Rikku still spent unYevonly amounts of money on ridiculousness, and as she looked down from the mirror she still left toothpaste in the sink. What it did do though was made their goal that much more evident. It made their commitment strong and it gave way for new opportunities to grow.

Paine liked the way it looked on her hand like that; it was probably the best reminder of her reasons. Everything she did now was for them. Even though that's how she thought before to some respects, standing there in the chill room and staring at her reflection gave her direction.

She left the bathroom and ventured into the dark living area then the kitchen. First things first if she were to be anyone's wife properly she needed a cup of coffee in her. By passing the fancy cappuccino maker Rikku brought her one year for her sturdy old coffee maker she purchased when she first moved in Paine realized she was glad they were back in New Luca. All the Calm Lands had was tea, and tea was fine when you only had to lounge about with your half naked wife, but being in the city again meant there were things to be done and that required something stronger. With a little smile she noticed that the timer was already set for her usual morning brew.

Where Rikku found the time was beyond her.

Paine scoured the cabinets and then opened the emptied fridge. She expected there to be nothing but when she literally found nothing she mumbled under her breath and headed into the bedroom to get dressed. Her wife was getting a breakfast this morning and that was that.

Paine quickly found some jeans and a hoody to throw on under leather jacket and a beanie. She grabbed her wallet and was on her way out the door when she heard Rikku cough quietly.

The trainer stilled herself at the threshold and then turned around. "You awake?" She asked the dark room.

Rikku rolled over in a half sleep and rubbed one eye. "E fycrat ouin dransym." She rasped before closing her eyes again.

It took Paine a second to realize that she thought she was going to the gym like she usually did in the morning, and that the laundry Rikku had done before the wedding mainly consisted of her things. Realizing that she must have really been in a half sleep Paine thought to make the hazy morning as mundane as possible before the blonde woke up and remembered.

Knowing that her wife loved being loved Paine put her wallet down upon the nightstand and leaned onto the bed. "Thank you baby." She whispered before kissing Rikku on the cheek. In her sleep Rikku snuggled up to her blankets and made a small content noise.

Not even a half hour later Rikku woke to a quiet apartment. The dream she had had soon was a distant memory she couldn't quite recall. Her head hurt, her stomach was empty, and there was that lump in the back of her throat that reminded her of one thing.

Death

Her grandmother was gone.

The blonde lay in bed feeling more alone than she ever had in a while.

She began to cry.

Knowing that no one was here to see it, not even Paine. Rikku Milan Bayla-Kerrigan just laid there and let herself cry. It wasn't hysterical crying, nor was it the type you could hear; it was the quiet cry for the cruel nature of life. It was the child in her crying because it wasn't fair, because she could remember warm days and cool nights of her childhood spent perched on Milana's lap, sharing a knee with her cousin listening to her knyhtsy chuckle about her youth. The early memories were fuzzy, but she remembered the tall figure in the chair beside her, Kirill at his feet, her Knyhtbub.

She would see them exchange looks, smile, and then continue the tale.

For years she had wondered if that's what love was. Telling tales and smiling from across the room, like life was just this big inside joke only two could share.

That was a long time ago though.

A small bit of bitterness hit her tongue, and she vainly prayed that Yevon bring them together in death. Reality though soon set in and she sighed at her childishness. Her knyhtsy was an old lady. After you lived, you died. Rikku knew this, she accepted it, and in a long time she knew she would come to grips, but right now as she rolled over in the soft sheets of her warm bed she let the tears roll down her face and kiss the sides of her ears before staining the pillow.

##

Rikku looked up from the tea kettle. Paine had just entered the apartment with her keys in her right hand and a tall brown paper bag from the market down the street secured in her left. She looked a little surprised. "Pypo." She greeted quietly.

Paine removed her shoes from her feet and pulled her maroon beanie off her head. A survey of the small living slash dining area told her that Rikku had been up, but not long.

Over the years she eventually acquired enough furniture to make the apartment seem habitable. The small living room held a loveseat with two decorative pillows Rikku changed every season, and a throw. Then a wooden coffee table cluttered with all types of Paine's things and a magazine or two of Rikku's. The wall closest to the front door held the space where her stand up piano sat; on top of that a few picture frames. It was homey which was nice, but the thought of moving somewhere bigger was increasing becoming appealing to the Judo fighter. Rikku was standing in the kitchen and it was almost lost to her but Paine noticed a blouse and slacks set aside near the four seated impulse buy glass dining table.

She found a spot and placed the grocery bag down on the table before beginning to take off her layers. "Why are you awake?"

Rikku brought the warm cup to her bottom lip and blew gingerly before taking a sip. "I thought you went to the gym."

She shook her head no once she got down to a blue long sleeve shirt. "I went to get you breakfast." She motioned to the brown paper bag before going into the kitchen and leaning across from Rikku on the opposite counter.

Despite her mood Rikku lifted a weak smile. "Are you worried I'll push you away?"

Paine mentally smiled and stood from leaning on the counter. "A little." She rubbed at Rikku's arm before leaning in and kissing her on the lips. "Morning."

Rikku sighed against Paine's presence. "Did you sleep?"

"No."

"Me either."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"What can I say?" Paine shrugged gently. "I feel crumby…I don't wanna go."

"You'll hate yourself if you don't." Rikku nodded and took another sip of her tea. Paine moved and opened the blinds when she realized they were practically standing and talking in the dark. The kitchen was cast a pale winter blue and for a moment she just stared at the blanketed street below for a moment before turning to find Rikku examining her clothes she laid out not too long ago. "You're going to work?"

The blonde nodded. "I should."

"I thought we'd say we'd take today off…"

"What am I supposed to do all day?" Rikku asked gently. "Sit here and think and be all sappy?"

Paine put her hand in her pockets. She had a point there. "I just don't want you hiding behind work." She went into the kitchen and started to make Rikku breakfast when she realized the blonde had already made up her mind. "You'll stay for breakfast though."

Rikku turned and nodded. "Thank you." It was times like these when she really appreciated how well Paine knew her, "I love you y'know?" She thought to add when she realized Paine wasn't working today at all. It would have been a day for them to relax and go out and be together under any other circumstance.

Paine looked up from trying to decide how many eggs to scramble. She flashed Rikku a reassuring smile. "I'm aware Princess." She grabbed four eggs and set them aside.

"Are you making me eggs?"

"Yeah, with mushrooms and spinach and tomatoes."

"Are you making yourself eggs too?"

Paine nodded.

"How cold is it outside?"

"Pretty decent."

Rikku busied herself with fretting over the weather and what to wear until Paine was done cooking. She didn't know what to say to Paine really, it was odd since conversation or silence was never awkward between the two. Rikku could tell that Paine was worried; more over that she didn't know what to do with that worry. A year ago she fractured her wrist while at the beach when her brother was in town. She had never seen Paine so worried even after the doctors told her it was okay and she'd be fine. This wasn't a fractured wrist or anything, not in the least bit, but still, seeing Paine so torn on what to do made her torn on what to do too. Were they meant to talk about the weather all morning?

Rikku just opted for silence.

After a quiet meal of Rikku watching her food and Paine watching Rikku the blonde had had enough. "I'm not going to drive my car into a ditch." She blurted out causing Paine to laugh a little despite the serious connotation.

"I'm worried, give me a fucking break."

Rikku glanced at the time. "You're starting early."

Paine shrugged. "Give me a _fudging_ break."

"Don't worry about me."

"I'm your wife." Little smiles crossed their faces when they both realized it.

Rikku sighed at her when her smile fell. "Will you pick me up from Yunie's later tonight? I have to go over there."

Paine nodded. "Of course, what time?"

"Nine?"

"Do you think we'll have enough time to pack and stuff?"

"Well, I was going to let you handle all that, since I'm grieving." Rikku nodded pointedly as she spread some butter on her bread.

Paine smiled a little. "Fine."

A silence fell over them again and Paine could tell it was just another memory that went on. "What?" She pushed wondering if talking about it would help in the slightest.

"Knyhtsy, she probably had stuff getting ready to cook for the next day." Imagine starting a recipe you never would get to finish. Rikku sighed and shook her head at herself when images of bread dough and marinated meats came up.

"What did your brother say?"

"I didn't get a chance to talk to him yet, but Pops said that he found her the next morning and that was that."

"I may sound like a complete ass—"

"Paine Kerrigan you watch it." Rikku warned with no threat behind it causing Paine to smile a little.

"Out of all the million and one thousand ways to go babe, I think she got the most peaceful you could ask for."

Rikku thought about that on her car drive to work. Paine was right, but she hated when Paine was right sometimes, because in Paine being right it meant that some of the behaviors she wanted to regress to would just be completely ridiculous.

Just then the quiet pop morning show she seldom listened to was replaced with the loud ringing of her cell. Rikku pressed a button on the steering wheel and smiled instantly. "You left it on the table."

Paine scratched the back of her head. "No I'm looking at the table, its' not on the table."

"The table in the living room."

"We don't have a table in our living room."

"The coffee table." The line was quiet. "Did you find it?"

"That's not a table." Paine grumbled as she opened her wallet to reach for the judo dojo card to cancel her exam for the weekend.

"It is."

"Whatever."

"What are you doing?"

Paine decided that making her wife laugh today was going to be her mission. "Getting the tanning place number I got earlier."

"What tanning place numbe—Paine!"

Paine smirked. "You don't think we'd match?"

"I swear if I come home and you're orange…" She wouldn't put it past Paine to do something like that just to make her smile now that she thought about it, and it was with that thought that she got what Paine was doing. "I miss you."

"Come home."

"Give me a few hours." She needed time to clear her head.

"Okay."

"Do you miss me?"

Paine smiled. "Huh?"

"I asked if you missed your wife?"

"Why you gotta pull the wife card?"

"Because it's relevant."

"Of course I miss you." Paine thought for a moment. "I think I'm gonna sleep till you come back." She was still jet lagged from the trip home from the Calm Lands and seeing as how they needed to be up and out again tomorrow morning sleep was something she knew she would need.

"Pypo can you please handle the flight?"

"Yeah I got it, is Yuna flying with us?"

Rikku sighed. "I'll find out and tell her to call you?"

"Okay."

"Babykins?"

"Mm?"

Rikku bit her lip. "I know that the timing isn't—"

Paine smiled. "I married you forever; I have all the time in the world."

Rikku smiled. "Bye."

"Bye."

Rikku hung up with the press of a button and hit the speed dial on her phone to get to another. She waited as the phone rang and the light refused to turn green.

"Hey." Came a sympathetic tone.

"Hey Yunie." Rikku sighed. "You book a flight yet?"

"Do we all need to be there?" Yuna asked tiredly. "I mean I know it sounds horrible but I literally have no tears left for this.." Between the warm and fuzzy emotions of her cousin getting married, to the raw ones of seeing Tidus for the first time in two years at the wedding, and now with sad little lump in her throat from hearing about her grandmother had Yuna on auto pilot because if she wasn't she'd be crying at just about everything she saw.

"I kept Paine up all night."

Yuna smiled faintly. "How are you?"

"…Disasterific."

"How was the honeymoon?" They hadn't gotten a chance to talk about it last night when they got the news and it was important not to down play such a special happening.

Rikku sighed as she waited at a red light before getting on the highway. "Lovely."

Yuna shook her head. "Timing is everything."

Rikku smiled at her little joke. "Say it aint so."

"Did you book tickets yet? Is Paine coming?"

"She's booking them this afternoon, and yeah she is, to be honest I don't think I can do it without her." Rikku shrugged as the light turned green. "Can't believe we're married still…"

"I'm happy for you two."

"Thanks Yunz." Rikku reflected on her tone. "I'm happy, I am…it's just…"

"I get it."

"….How are you?"

Yuna inhaled deeply and looked at the samples before her on her desk. "Oh you know." She had been at work for the past two hours. "I think workaholics run in the Shaw DNA." She had grown fed up to having to answer to anyone and now was in the slow and time consuming process of building her own fashion label with Lulu D'Autry.

Alex Shaw was the name they had come up with, taken from Lulu's middle name Alexandria and Yuna's last name Shaw. The line was still in the major planning stages, but now that both women were devoting all their time things were moving faster than they thought.

"Double dosage since you're a Bayla too….Is Uncle B coming?"

"He's supposed to be but you know he's been very consumed by something at work lately. Some secretive thing…" Yuna shrugged. When wasn't he? "Do you want to meet you at the airport?"

"Yeah call Paine this afternoon?"

"Will do."

"How was…"

Yuna glanced up at Lulu who had just gotten in, she was holding a little toy car today. Vidina always gave her a toy before she left the house and Lulu would always sneak it back home to rejoin the rotation. "I'd better go, Lulu's here and we have to brief for a pitch we have with some manufactory."

"Are you really trying to avoid talking about Teedus?"

"Yes."

Rikku nodded. "Have a nice day then."

"Love you, bye."

"Love you too Yunz. Poa."

##

"You think you'd sneak in here huh? Not a word, not a hi, yo, hello, nothing?"

Rikku looked up from her work bench slash desk and actually smiled. "You mad I made it in before you?"

"You aren't even supposed to be in here today!"

Rikku raised a brow.

Lucil Marsh stood three inches taller than Rikku with auburn hair that reminded Rikku of wine. Her heart shaped face and wrinkling smile made her an easy beauty. The daughter of a Crusader Commander Lucil had traveled all over in her 25 years on Spira and seeing the world only made her want to travel more. Currently though, New Luca was where she was resting her hat.

"Why are you here Junior?" Lucil straighten out her blouse and laughed before entering the small office and closing the door behind her. She plopped herself down on one of the stiff chairs they put in all the entry level offices and crossed her legs before taking a moment to just observe Rikku for a second before saying anything. Something was off, though she couldn't quite put her finger on what exactly. "Sooo?"

Rikku had to laugh at her goofy tone. "So what?" She asked as she continued to work. Looking up would only feed into her games.

"So did you even get to see The Calm Lands? or were you two shacked up all day?"

"We did a lot of traveling actually." And they had, between Gagazet, the Macalania woods, chocobo riding and the sort Rikku really enjoyed herself, and then there was all the affection, Paine had been so attentive and Rikku knew she had an amazing time too, it was just that she couldn't readily feel that right now. It made her sad to think that, but her body was just dealing with things as they came.

"Traveling?" Lucil raised a brow. "Traveling?" She asked again.

Rikku nodded. "What do you want me to say?"

"Did you take pictures?"

Rikku shrugged. "Some."

Lucil uncrossed her legs and leaned forward a bit. "Alright Junior, what's up? You couldn't wait to leave this place, the wedding was beautiful, I about cried. I mean…." She changed her tone to that of a whisper. "Did you two fight?"

Rikku finally looked up from her work with a small laugh. "No, it was incredible, something just came up…my grandmother passed away the night before last and we're going to Send her this weekend." Saying it aloud for the first time caused a bit of moisture in her eyes she quickly wicked away as she looked back down at her work.

Lucil's usually animated face grew sympathetic. She could see that everything was still raw so she gave the blonde a moment. "Oh Ri… You two were close."

Rikku nodded. "Very."

Lucil sat back in her seat seemingly taking it all in. "That's crumby timing…"

Rikku actually laughed but then shook her head. Why was she laughing? Maybe she was losing her mind…

"I know, I got the call when we got in yesterday and it wasn't like she was in pain or anything she…she just didn't wake up you know?" Rikku tried to shrug herself into believing that that was just that and now that she were an adult and part of being an adult was dealing with these things like adults.

Lucil had known and been very close friends with Rikku now for about four years. Ever since orientation that summer day they had worked side by side. Pulling all nighters, all dayers and even the occasional all weeker. She had a strong sense of self and motivation and that's why the two became friends, they wanted to do the best possible at what they did. Along with that came a friendly rivalry like no other. Sometimes Lucil took to teasingly calling Rikku Junior because she was second of their grad class under her and Lucil knew it made the blonde fight harder, and with that fight they were both able to excel. Lucil was more logical, Rikku was clearly the artist and together they easily breezed through group projects while in school. Here at Leonardi Inc. they were both offered the same entry level job. It was their little game to see who would climb the latter faster, and though at times from an outsiders view in they seemed cut throat toward one another, it really was just a deep bond that came from sharing cubical space for two very long, very sleepless years.

Lucil considered Rikku one of her best friends, and vice versa. It's what made seeing the blonde so un-Rikku made her a little sad. This was supposed to be a happy time for her and Paine. Rikku never really got too specific but she had learned that they had gotten off to a very untraditional start, and that's why being a part of the wedding party touched Lucil. It was such a special thing to see people so in love. It seemed like the couple seldom caught a break though.

"Well it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt."

Rikku nodded having already heard this it didn't have the effect she waited for. "You sound like Paine."

"One smart lady you bagged there."

Rikku glanced at the picture of her and Paine embracing on her desk. She was lucky and she knew it. "She's been so supportive."

"Well you're married now so that's kind of the tune."

"She's amazing." Rikku sighed and looked back to her work. "Anyway I came in because I couldn't stay home, this morning I nearly cried at the sight of butter and I don't want my new wife to think I'm completely nuts so…"

"Just came in for some you-time?"

Rikku lifted the portfolio on her desk. "I don't think this counts as me-time, but it keeps my mind off things I guess."

Lucil nodded and stretched her legs out a bit. "How long are you in for?"

"A few hours max."

"Do you want to see the new contract for the Marq building? William dropped it on your desk for you on Monday but I uh, took the liberty of sneaking a peek." She stood. "This one is a monster."

Rikku sat back in her stock issued office rolly chair. "Marqcus Nowelle? The Yevonite?" She remembered hearing about his crusade to bring New Yevon back into the teachings of inner city schools a year back.

Lucil chuckled. "I wonder what will happen if he finds out the world's biggest Al Bhed is decorating his speaking hall."

Rikku chuckled at the irony. "Should we tell William?" Not that he overzealous boss would care really; as long as the job got done he was happy.

"No way." Lucil made her way to the door. "You want to come check out the foundation? I hear a museum stands there now."

Rikku stood from her desk. Something about the quiet halls of untouched artifact as opposed to her tiny office seemed appealing. "They are taking down a museum for that poopyhead?"

"Well it was a Yevonite museum…"

"Oh." Rikku chuckled at the expression Lucil shot her. "I'll meet you downstairs." She had to grab a few things first.

"Sound good." Lucil paused before the door. "Hey Junior?"

Rikku looked up.

"If there's a will….."

Rikku rolled her eyes with a little smile. "There's a way." If she had a dime for the amount of times Lucil said that she'd be filthy rich.

"That's right." Lucil grinned before slipping away and closing the door behind her.

As annoying and cheesy as it was after four years Rikku appreciated it every time. If she could conceive an idea, or a want or a goal, it was hers. This mentality was what helped when she thought nothing else would.

##

She was about to reach for the conference room door when her cell phone began to buzz. Taking a moment to check the time Paine stepped aside to answer it. "Kerrigan."

"Pypo it's me."

"I know." Paine glanced at the time again and decided to slip into a stairwell right beside her to take the call. "Are you alright?"

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm going downtown with Lucil to look at a new building, are you sleeping? I thought we could meet somewhere here after."

"I couldn't sleep." Paine admitted restlessly. "Yuna called me, I did that, we leave tomorrow morning, bags are packed, so I came into work to hold a meeting real quick to see where I need to be for Monday."

"You're at work? Fryd yna oui tuehk? Oui haat du nacd!."

"I could say the same thing to you."

"Hm."

"Where do you want to meet?"

"The park?"

Paine smiled. "Central."

"Around 4ish?"

"Yeah I'll be done by then."

"Ok."

"Bye Rikks."

"Bye Pai."

##

"I heard she got married." Chuck whispered before reaching for his cup of coffee.

The meeting room in the athletics department at BridgePort Studios was filled to capacity. Which in all actuality was about seven people or so including Paine. Paine however was still on her way up for the trainer's morning meeting she liked to have every day or so to get a better idea on what everyone was up to.

Paine had never considered herself a terribly shy person. I mean she did teach two large classes for the majority of her college career. Being Senior Trainer wasn't as scary as she thought it would be. Everyone kind of already held a healthy amount of fear and respect for her, that and her unquestionable results with clients made everyone realize she was all business. It left little room for social interactions beyond the norms with her crew. Paine didn't think it was a smart idea to be besties with anyone that she had to command. It did leave an air of mystery about her to everyone around her. All the trainers liked her as a boss, she got shit done, but seldom knew much about her personal life. So when Paine decided to take a week off for her honeymoon everyone was shocked. They didn't even know she was engaged seeing as how she wore her engagement ring around her neck when she went to work to keep from damaging it. She was the only one with keys to her office besides the Bridgeport owners, so it wasn't even like they could sneak in there and look at the three picture frames she had on her desk facing her chair.

One of Rikku, herself, Vidina, and Lulu at one of Wakka's Blitz games.

Another of just her and Rikku at the port going out for dinner a year ago.

The last of little Mackenzie in her first Judo belt of the junior league.

Annie, one of the trainers on staff had probably the biggest crush on her boss, and she had always wondered why her subtle advances were never returned. Needless to say the idea of Paine being taken annoyed her, but she liked her job, and besides being hot Paine was an awesome boss.

"We'll see." Annie shrugged at Chuck's comment.

"Someone should just ask her how the honeymoon went." Eddie, a beefy Kilickan with short black hair shrugged too. "She's either gonna say yes or no…"

"He's onto something." Zen, an older trainer in charge of alternative medicine nodded,

"I mean doesn't she seem a little young to be getting married?" Annie asked the room.

Chuck laughed. "You're just pissed it aint you."

Annie shrugged. "Well so?"

The room laughed but that all died down when Paine entered clad in black yoga pants that stopped mid shin and a deep red form fitting top with her dark gray thermal half zipped down now that she was in doors. Everyone straightened up a little and watched as she took the seat at the head of the small egg shaped table. She slipped her cell phone into her pocket and cleared her throat.

Paine got into a zone whenever she got to work. She was focused and it showed in her work and results. It's why she had moved up to Senior Trainer in only four years of working here. She loved her job, she really couldn't see herself doing anything else if she were honest. She always knew she liked training herself, and then working at NLU taught her she actually sort of enjoyed the challenge of training others. It was the one field where you didn't have to be all smiley if you didn't want to.

"How was the honeymoon?" Annie asked with a smile.

Paine looked up from the leather bound agenda Rikku got her when she was promoted last summer. She wasn't stupid, she knew Annie Cortellano had a little thing for her, and she was an attractive enough woman; running about in the workout clothes they did showed that off a little more than in other professions, but Paine had realized a while back that Rikku's personality had spoiled her for anyone else. She expected all women to be as multi dimensional as her wife, be as goofy and as passionate, be as beautiful and as talented. Annie wasn't her type because Rikku was her type. It was an odd thing to realize and in the beginning Paine didn't know how she felt about it. Rikku hardly liked the idea that she had admirers, Paine found ti amusing since the territorial thing was more her style than Rikku's.

"It was nice."

"Where'd you go?" Zen asked.

"Calm Lands."

"Cool."

Paine nodded.

"How long have you two been together?" Chuck asked.

"Five years."

"Does she have a name?" Leon, another trainer who was second in command after Paine asked. He worked with Paine the most when it came to planning but Paine was such a private person. They all knew she had a girlfriend, it wasn't like Paine didn't talk to them, it was just that somehow no one realized how little they knew about her until she was taking off a week to get married.

Paine chuckled and glanced at her wedding band. "Rikku. Anything else?"

"She hot?" Chuck asked.

Paine shrugged. "Well I married her didn't I?" The room laughed and some of the male trainers hooted. "Alright alright, business now okay? Let's start with the weigh ins from when I was gone, whose actually making progress with water exercises? Chuck?"

##

Paine's office was like one of those tiny shoe box private investigator offices you saw in the movies. It had a decent sized window which overlooked the parking garage and some nearby shopping complexes. It had a desk, two chairs that were semi comfortable, and a computer from the last generations of technology. You walked in and Paine's neat desk was to your right and then the semi comfortable chairs to your left. She had seen Rikku's office and her wife had it good compared to this thing. It didn't matter though. It was hers and it brought along a very small sense of pride that she were actually able to get something not everyone could get. All the other trainers had a locker room and a common area, hardly anything to really go crazy about, yet still.

It was around one in the afternoon and she was leaning back in her chair on the phone to schedule another work out session with a client she had been with since day one.

"You're being lazy."

"I'm tired ya? You try and run 'round with this little guy all day den go do laps wit duh team. I don't know how Lu does it!"

"Thought you were a champ?" The Luca Goers had been last season's champions, the year before that the Psyches, the year before that the Goers, and the year before the Psyches. Rikku joked that by she and Paine being together they had single handedly started one of the fiercest blitz rivals in a while, all through their connections with the teams.

"Not on Tuesday's ya?"

"Fine, we'll have to schedule something when Rikku and I get back," Paine moved the mouse on her computer to open up a scheduling system they used at Bridgeport. "How's your knee?"

"Forget about my knee, how's Rikku?"

Paine sighed. "She's working." She knew so because that's exactly what she said when Paine called to check up on her before hanging up. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do…"

"Eh welcome to da married people club ya?" Wakka was going through something similar. It was the one thing they couldn't talk about though.

Paine sighed. She really wondered if there was something she should be doing right now that she wasn't. She was a wife right? Didn't she have duties now? Especially when she knew Rikku was hurting. "I guess being there is all I can do."

Wakka nodded. "Not exactly da best timing ya?"

"No not really, but its fine y'know." Paine shrugged. She wasn't about to wish Milana passed away at a different time just for her own gain. She and Rikku had never been closer, it's just with the new closeness comes new insight into what the other was thinking. Paine didn't want Rikku to drown herself with work just so she didn't have to deal. It was like drugs or some other vice…

She had to pick a day to go to her meetings.

Once the medication was gone, the time with Martha, the specialists, once that was all gone Paine had a moment, she had a moment where she was just so scared that now there was nothing at all to catch her, she would not and could not put it on her wife, their relationship had been about that enough. So for the last three years Paine had set a time and a day out of every week to show up to a group and just try and absorb it all.

It was scary how it never really went away, not really.

Some days she was just more hypersensitive than others, but for the most part she could go on living a healthy life. She still got tiny headaches here and there, but not more so than other people; it was just that Paine knew what it was from. The cliché about everyday being easier was true in some respects. She hadn't been around anyone from her past besides Gippal in a long time and that was important, but then also along with working and really cultivating relationships with people in her family was what made it most rewarding.

A random smile creased her features.

She married Rikku last week.

"Hello?"

Paine cleared her throat. "Yeah, so you wanna plan something for next week?"

"Yeah we'll spar or somethin' ya?"

"Yeah sounds good, where is Vid?"

Wakka chuckled at his three and three quarters year old son sleeping sloppily on the couch. "He's out cold."

"We should all do something when we come back. It'll cheer Rikku up some."

"Yeah yeah, I'll tell Lu." Wakka's schedule was rather open in the cold off season. "Aye um…you speak to Yuna any?"

"Since we've been back?"

"Yeah."

"No, why?"

"Tidus is askin' 'bout her."

Paine rolled her eyes. "Why doesn't he just fucking call her?" What were they in kindergarten?

"Dat's what I been tellin' him to do!" Wakka shot a glance at Vidina who seemed to be used to his loud voice and was still fast asleep clutching a toy he had been playing with only moments before.

"I don't like to get involved." And she didn't. This thing with Tidus and Yuna. They were able to be friends for a while there and then something came out that Tidus was apparently the Abe's number one player for a reason which the blonde claimed wasn't true at all. Paine actually believed him, but the damage was already done to whatever thing they were holding onto. Paine had no idea how things blew over with the wedding, but like she said before she didn't like to get involved unless she really had to, she usually let Rikku handle this never ending saga. Paine knew Yuna was hurt, but she was holding herself together last she heard. Tidus well, Wakka said he was having a hard time adjusting to fame, them holding onto one another was probably the worst idea in Paine's eyes, but again, she didn't like to get involved.

Paine scratched at the back of her head when she caught sight of the time. "Gotta meet Rikku soon."

"We'll talk later." Wakka nodded. Now that he and Paine were brother and sister in law officially their relationship had grown into something resembling siblings. They shared a lot without really saying much.

"Yeah."

##

It was already pretty misty and dark. The grass was wet and the blanched patches of snow made it difficult for anyone to really enjoy Central Park, at least anyone but Paine and Rikku for this was their spot. Standing before the small pond where they had their first kiss those many years ago. Rikku was wrapped in her scarf and knit cap while Paine stood alone in her leather jacket and beanie beside her.

Rikku had arrived a few minutes ago to her wife just standing there and staring. She stuffed her hands into her red coat and stood beside her without a word. It was strange how just her tall beauty's presence calmed Rikku like nothing else.

"You must be cold." Rikku noted with a glance to her right. Paine was looking at something on the icy water until now.

"I have my thermal on under."

Rikku watched as she turned back on the water. "..Are you sure you want to come?"

Paine looked to her then. Their eyes met and that's when Paine extended her left arm and Rikku snuggled up under it and wrapped her arms around Paine's slim torso. "Shut up." She mumbled quietly.

Rikku exhaled and watched her breath escape before her, she couldn't find Paine's scent in the cold outdoors but she could feel the warmth her body radiated. It felt nice against her cheek and reminded her of The Calm Lands.

"What do you need me to do?" Paine asked softly without looking to her side. She had given up guessing all day and just needed to know.

Rikku glanced up at her. "Just don't let go…even if I want you to."

Paine looked down at her. "Never."

"I missed you today." Rikku admitted. Paine hesitated briefly before leaning the small distance between them and pressing a gentle kiss on her cold lips. Rikku leaned into it, because for the last twenty-four hours it made her feel more than everything she had tried to do to ease her mind. "Does that mean you missed me too?" The blonde whispered not being able to help the little smile at the corner of her mouth.

Paine nodded and rested her forehead gently against the blonde's "I missed my wife, yeah." She whispered back. Rikku smiled lightly and tip toed a step to kiss her this time.

"We're married." Rikku smiled after it simply trading in her worries for staring up at Paine's warm eyes.

Paine nodded as she snaked her arms around Rikku's body. "We're married."

She was sad, but the truth in all honesty was that with Paine she could feel nothing but love….the love she had promised Milana she would enjoy. No doubt Home would be taxing on her, and she'd most likely push at the woman who had her arms wrapped around her so surely, but Rikku knew that getting on one knee and asking Paine to marry her had been one of the best things she could have done because she couldn't just do this life thing with anyone. No, that placed had always been reserved.

She was that the more certain with every kiss.

**AN: Hey everyone, sorry for the long update, I really intended to have this done sooner. Anyway what do you all think? Are you sad? happy? mad? Tell meeee. We'll see some very familiar faces soon so review so I feel bad about not updating faster lol.**

**KathleenDee **


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Braska slammed the door to his office shut and tossed the heavy manila notebook down on his desk. He hadn't yet gotten over the anger that rushed through his body.

This case was his and everyone knew it.

"What…are we going to do?"

The seasoned lawyer looked up from the ground and studied his protégée. Over the past four years he had proven himself loyal and especially in this situation loyalty was something Braska needed. He wouldn't say he trusted the man in front of him, then again Braska Shaw trusted very few, but he had gained his respect back, and that was saying a lot considering how they started off.

He pointed to himself. "_We_ do nothing."

Jenkins bit his bottom lip and then rested his briefcase down. "Did you not just—"

"I was there, yes."

He watched as his mentor undid his tie and began to unbutton his stained shirt only to reach for a drawer behind his desk to pull out another of a similar make and fashion.

"So…"

"I have a plane to catch."

"He wants to see me."

Braska craned his neck to tie his new tie. "You're his lawyer, see him."

"To fire me."

"We knew this would happen."

Jenkins took off his suit jacket and paced the large office. "Yes except now it's happening, and what if he knows that I've been talking to you? All this time? I could get reported and loose my judicial standing."

Braska shook his head. "He knew."

This halted the young lawyer's pace. "What!?"

With a final adjustment to his new tie Braska reached for a small brush and quickly went over his short brown hair. His father hadn't had gray hair till he was sixty five or so, but even now near his temples Braska had noticed a few grays. He chalked it up to the past five years and this one case along with expanding the family business and being a single father to a young woman who wanted to take over the world. "Do you really think a man as calculated as he had no idea? Four years? He knew, he knew and he let me get this far on purpose."

The color drained from Jenkin's face. "What do you think he'll do?"

Braska tossed the brush on his desk and then sighed when he looked at a picture of his daughter and Rikku at their college graduation. "I'll be reachable by phone, but don't call." He picked up his cell phone and then gathered a few papers up on his desk. "My mother in law passed away…"

"We have to say something…to Cid or—"

"We say nothing until I know more."

"You've been saying that for years!"

Braska gave him a warming look. "And in those four years my niece and my daughter have lived happy care free lives. Paine and Rikku just got married, Yuna started a business, do you understand how crippling fear can be?"

The student clenched his jaw. He was right, yet it still felt wrong. Not saying anything about the appeal was probably the only thing they disagreed on. Jenkins picked up his brief case and jacket and moved toward the door. "Yeah but when you tell them, because you have to now, they're going to wish you told them sooner."

##

Paine peeked over the blonde's shoulder. "Viddy." She recognized the little boy's face on the sketch pad.

Rikku looked up at Paine then and pointed with her thick lead pencil. "See his little smile?"

She nodded. "He smiles like Wakka."

"But his nose wrinkles like you and Lulu's."

Paine shook her head. "That's impossible to know." Rikku raised an eyebrow. "We're assuming Lulu smiles."

Rikku rolled her eyes and Paine chuckled. "Oh stop."

"It looks good." Rikku only nodded and went back to the tedious task of drawing on an airplane. She needed something to focus her energy and thought on; the familiar golden shine of Bikanel peering into the plane from the window seat where Yuna sat reading was distracting though.

She used to always have the window seat.

Now though, the nature of the visit just didn't seem exciting at all. If anything she grew more and more anxious as the time elapsed till their landing. A seasoned traveler from years of traveling with her uncle and father hadn't prepared the blonde for the small sweat at her collar when they took off.

Yuna had been silent the entire trip. Her brunette hair was pulled up and out of her face as she read a book entitled. "Business's Business." It was thick and had the paper cover removed for ease of travel.

The trip to Bikanel was a solid 7 hour airship ride.

They were two hours in and already Paine didn't know what to do with herself. She had traveled with Rikku and Yuna to and from Home at least four times, and all times the journey had seemed to run away from them between sleeping and chatting. Now though, as both cousins turned to solitude Paine found herself restless in the warm cabin.

An hour passed again, and now their complimentary meals were being readied to serve. The false promising aroma of a real peppered beef waffled through the cabin and made Paine's mouth water. It reminded her of her favorite part about coming to Bikanel, and that was the food. A sad thought passed through her mind and she glanced towards Rikku who was studying the menu of two choices with intense concentration.

Who was going to cook?

Rikku couldn't even decide if she wanted beef or cactar.

Facing forward for a moment Paine wondered where her place in all of this was. Was she to stand silently like she was sure Cid would, or was she a Leblanc? Supporting yet not really necessary, the thought took a moment to process before Paine looked up at the standing flight attended waiting on Rikku's order. "She wants the cactar. No pine nuts though."

The flight attendant checked with Rikku first who nodded quickly as if she ordered it herself. Rikku exhaled when she left and squeezed Paine's arm gently before looking to her right at Yuna and saying something.

Maybe she was both a Cid and a Leblanc this trip.

Paine sat back in her seat and nodded to herself. She had more than enough time to think about a million and one things. Work; the apartment; Mackenzie, Judo, Gippal, Vidina. The specifics would take forever to list but she couldn't let that stuff get in the way of this weekend. Paine would admit that at times she felt like she took on a lot and was all alone, especially when Rikku got a new assignment, and essentially that's where the brunt of their arguments came from but they fought, made up, then got engaged, now they were married and though things had changed so drastically in the last twenty four hours she knew Rikku remembered her promise. It was always something with them though; couldn't they stay in their honeymoon a little longer?

##

Paine slipped into the unfamiliar bedroom and closed the door behind her. "This remind you of something?" She whispered to her wife who was sitting up in bed pulling her hair into a ponytail for the night.

Rikku watched as Paine took the damp towel off her shoulder and draped it over a small wooden chair before stepping out of the pajamas she wore for show. "When we weren't married and you would sneak in here and take off your clothes?"

Paine nodded and put the pajamas on the same wooden chair. It was late at night, the window was cracked and she could feel a late evening breeze hold onto the night. Whisps of desert being kicked up by the night air sprayed the side of the house gently. It had kept Paine up all night when she first visited Solae with Rikku three years ago, now she barely registered the simple reminder of where they were. She stretched lightly exposing her firm belly to the soft light of the window in Cid's childhood room.

Whenever Rikku visited her grandmother she stayed in this room, and Yuna stayed in her mother's room. Kirill had his own room in the old family home.

Paine finished her stretching and yawned before getting onto the full size bed with Rikku.

Rikku smiled at the show of getting comfortable by Paine. "Knyhtsy ehcecdat oui cmaab tufh dra rymm." Now Paine was officially allowed to share a bed with her, little did Milana know that they'd been bedmates since before they were dating.

Paine nodded as she lay in a simple black bra and gray panties above the blanket. "I didn't mind."

"You'd sneak back in here anyway, of course you didn't mind." Rikku was sitting up and looking down at her. She gently pushed at Paine's abdomen. "Remember that time we almost got caught?"

Paine grabbed Rikku's hand and nodded. "Fuckin' you and your big mouth—ow!" She pretended to glare after Rikku pressed down on her stomach roughly but softly enough to show that she were only playing.

"I told you not to do that thing…."

Paine laughed quietly. "You weren't exactly stopping me, Princess." Rikku seemed to be in a better mood, it hadn't been like that all day though which is why Paine was drinking it in.

"Of course I wasn't." Rikku shrugged. Paine sat up beside her. "Hm?" She questioned with a little smile.

Paine lazily leaned forward and kissed Rikku on the bare shoulder peeking out from under her baggy sleeping shirt. "Nothing."

"Oui zicd paehk cfaad uh sa?"

Paine nodded. "You seemed quiet today."

Rikku nodded. Today had been the first part of the funeral process for her grandmother. "Her hand was cold." Rikku looked down to her bare legs for a moment in thought. "They were always so warm and y'know…I can remember holding her hand when I was little." She looked up at Paine. "Never been able to remember that but I could today."

"Yeah."

"Today was the hardest part." Rikku nodded.

"She wanted to be cremated?"

"Most Al Bhed are." Rikku explained. "When I was little Pop used to tell me this story about ghosts and he was such a jerk to scare me like that but…" She was stopped by the whipping of some wind and the light almost wave like crashing of desert against the side of the house on the first floor. "You see it's like a reminder, you treat the planet well because you never know where your loved ones are."

Paine had always liked the Al Bhed way of things, she loved when Rikku would explain things to her like this. A thought came to mind then. "You'd wanna be that way I bet; free."

Rikku looked to Paine with a soft smile. "Yeah."

It was the first time in their relationship where the topic of what would happen after they expired came about. It wasn't something Paine liked to think about, and it brought a funny taste to her mouth just then as the wind picked up, but knowing what Rikku would have wanted was better than not knowing and not being able to honor her the right way.

Rikku watched as Paine fell into thought. A weird sort of look crossed her face before she looked at her again.

"I'd be scared." Paine said quietly. "I almost die twice already and I remember being scared… each time." Overdosing and being shot left a few more scars still and probably always would.

Rikku rubbed at her arm gently. "You're never without me, so don't be."

Paine turned Rikku's hand over and laced their fingers together. "You're pretty much stuck with me too so..."

Rikku smiled and nudged Paine in the shoulder. "You've just been following me around for years now, thought I'd put a collar on ya and rub your tummy at night."

Paine smiled a little and shook her head. "Is that what that expensive ass party was for?"

"Well yeah." Rikku grinned and put a hand up to mess up Paine's hair.

Paine ducked her head away and grabbed Rikku fully around her body before dragging her to lay down with her. They settled like that; Paine's arms fully enveloping her bride and Rikku holding Paine's arms in place as she slipped into thought.

An hour passed like that.

"Paine…"

Paine picked her eyelids up. "Yeah?"

She gently ran her hand up and down Paine's arm. Her arms felt so strong, yet her skin was as soft as the bedding they were meant to sleep on. "What do you think it was? Her secret, what do you think it was?"

She yawned. "Secret for what?"

Rikku shrugged gently. "For life. She was just so…happy." She turned around and Paine moved her arms so she had room to look at her. "I want that, I wanna be happy like she was." She realized Paine's eyes had closed again. They had a long day and jet lag was surely hitting the inexperienced traveler like her wife. It didn't help that they had only slept in their own bed only for two nights before getting up and going again. "Pai..." Rikku whispered.

Silence.

Rikku sighed but couldn't help but smiling. It was strange feeling so different every other sentence. One moment she would flashback to when she were just a little pypo and was playing with Yuna and her grandmother just downstairs, and then to the beginning with Paine and she was smiling through the tears because after all they had been through here they were and her knyhtsy had been there to see her stand before everyone and claim her love. Rikku brushed some smoky hair out of Paine's face and leaned forward to kiss her on the lips before backing up a bit and falling asleep facing her.

Maybe it wasn't a secret after all.

##

Paine watched as Rikku's shaky right hand held her wrist tightly and her left hand carefully emptied half her handful into her own. Some ash slipped away despite her best efforts and whipped around their heads before disappearing amongst the desert with the wind.

It was a golden evening in Solae, the type you saw set as screen savers or the kind you read about. Paine had only been to Bikanel a handful of times before and she had marveled at the utter lack of humanity of the little town. It was only now that she understood that the little town was as populated as her own city. Rich with history and life, how come she hadn't seen it before?

A customary Al Bhed burial consisted of two steps. Paine had always known that through her schooling but to actually be here now. To feel Milana Bayla in the palm of her hand, to have the wind pick up and cause her wife's long blonde hair to tickle her arm at this altitude, the subtle kiss of heat from the sun on her pale skin, it all just felt so much more important than those textbooks allowed her to feel.

It was unreal.

The sullen plateau overlooking Home was where they decided to say their goodbyes. On the way up Cid told her the story of coming up here with his parents as a young boy. His tone had been steady this whole trip until now. Paine could imagine how he must have been feeling having sent a father, a sister, and now a mother. He was the only left of his clan and though he stayed steady for his children Paine caught a look in his green eyes when they made it to the top of the hill.

Kirill had yet to say a word to Paine or anyone else for that matter and trailed behind in his own thoughts. Yuna's face had yet to really change and even now with a glance to her far left Yuna stood on her own, chin to the wind, empty palm suspended in air. Braska a small step away watching the city with his hands in his linen pockets.

To her immediate right Rikku stood looking off into the horizon with this far away look on her face. Her bright eyes were moist and she was holding her fist close to her chest.

Paine looked down at her hand balled up to maintain the inner contents until she said her goodbye.

She wasn't expecting this at all. She wasn't expecting to get the chance to do this and on some level she didn't feel worthy. This was a woman who had essentially raised her wife, a woman who had raised her father in law… a woman who had hadn't questioned Rikku's choice in her as a mate, not once. Paine felt her chest tense a little at the thought of how she had said goodbye to people in the past. How she tried to just get it over with, how she decided not to feel a thing and just go about her life. She realized that she never took as much time as she was now.

Maybe this goodbye could be for all of them too.

Kirill, Yuna, and Rikku eventually came together at the near edge of the cliff. Brother wrapped his arms around them both and just stood there for a long moment. No prayers were said, no hymn chimed or murmured, just their silence.

##

That night, over a dinner of cactar noodles and pork Rikku sat in silence as her father and Leblanc spoke pointlessly over the state of the Al Bhed government. Braska strangely remained quiet to Yuna's left. Paine could tell it annoyed Kirill by the way he moved his noodles about the plate without really eating anything across from her. His stare intense.

"And then the taxes brought about—"

"Are we just going to pretend like she's not here already?"

Kirill had finally spoken after days of silence.

Cid sighed quietly and brought his napkin to his mouth. "Hu cuh"

The blitzer motioned to the food. "Well then why are we talking about politics at the table. Dryd fyc y nima"

Yuna nodded. "He's right."

Milana had certain rules to ensure all family gatherings were peaceful ones. When it came to sit and eat with one another they were not allowed to talk about politics. It was hard when both her son and her son in law loved to debate, but when it came time to sit as a family She didn't want anyone getting upset or riled up. They could do that enough throughout the day. Family time was peaceful time.

Paine glanced at Rikku as her father in law apologized and opted to change the tone of the conversation. "You okay?" She whispered. None of the food on Rikku's plate had been touched. It had been like that since they arrived. She would normally wonder what her wife had been eating to sustain herself, but that was answered when she found Yuna and Rikku in the kitchen eating the last batch of caramel nibblets that their grandmother would ever make.

Rikku laid awake with a stomach ache for the majority of the afternoon.

The blonde flashed her wife a tired sort of smile before picking up her fork. She knew Paine would worry if she didn't eat anything, and she had already been caught red handed eating junk a few hours prior. Tomorrow morning they would leave, and for that Rikku was grateful. Being in this town, this home without Milana felt strange, it suddenly felt foreign even though she knew all its secrets like the back of her hand. She wanted to get back to practical things, things where emotions weren't the main things to be dealing with. Paine nodded at her beginning to eat and focused back onto her own plate of food. Al Bhed food was Paine's absolute favorite and she was starving after the long day they had. Somehow eating fast didn't seem appropriate though. Paine forced a slow thoughtful mouthful of noodles into her mouth and reached for water.

"Paine, Rikku, darlings, how was the honeymoon?" Leblanc ventured when she realized her husband was crashing and burning hard on the subject of sports with his son.

The two newlyweds perked up at bit and glanced at one another. "Good." "Cool." They said in unison.

"Cool?...Cool.." Leblanc chose Paine's response to focus on. "The fair is cool, a honeymoon? Really though." She looked to her husband for support.

Cid merely shrugged. He knew what happened on honeymoons, he himself having been on two. He didn't want to think about Paine doing anything but hugging his daughter. "She said it was cool, leave her."

"We hiked some of Gagazet and…we ate in Macalania, where did we go Ri?" Paine tried as she looked to her wife.

Rikku opened her mouth to say something but Leblanc cut her off. "Now you see that sounds nice, did you take pictures?"

"Some." Paine nodded.

"The wedding was beautiful." Juliann motioned to Kirill. "I caught a few people shedding tears."

Kirill shrugged. "She's my baby sister…"

"We'll have to see them, the pictures, do you have them with you?"

Paine nodded. "Yeah Rikks brought them. We wanted to get one framed with sand crystal so..."

"After dinner."

##

Paine sighed. "Baby I don't see what the—"

"I don't feel like sitting around and talking about how much fun we had! I sent my knyhtsy today. Does that mean anything to her!?"

Paine was sitting on the bed in her father in laws old room while Rikku stomped around looking for the pictures they brought with them to get frames for. She knew her wife was emotionally drained, had a tummy ache, and was above all cranky for the lack of sleep she had been getting in the last month, but Leblanc was only trying to help.

"She's just trying to help."

"Whose side are you on anyway?"

Paine sighed. "My wife's usually, but right now she's cranky and hasn't eaten anything really in two days. So her reason isn't all there." Paine called her out.

The glare she got in response was enough to let Paine know exactly what Rikku thought of that last comment.

"Rikks." Paine tried as she stood.

Rikku shook her head and finally found the small book and pushed it in Paine's hands. "Fine you go down there and laugh about it."

Paine shook her head. "You say it like it was such shit."

Rikku narrowed her eyes. "Paine."

Paine inhaled to calm herself down a little. "So then what is the fault in trying to just not think about today?"

"I wouldn't expect either of you to understand." Rikku mumbled as she closed her suitcase back up.

"And what in the fuck does that mean?" Paine demanded.

Catching herself Rikku shook her head at her comment. She was really losing it. "Pai I'm sorry."

Paine huffed. The topic of her not being Al Bhed had never been an issue. It's how she really knew Rikku was just tired. "Take a second to see how she feels…how I feel. What the hell are we doing here Ri? We don't know how to…" Paine fell silent. "I don't know how to be here for you."

Rikku was ready with a response but somehow something stopped her and just like that she began to cry. Paine quickly put the pictures down and wrapped her arms around her shaking body. "Ed fyc cilr y meddma ped uv ran...ec dryd ymm fa'na natilat duu? Frana fyc ran sasuneac yht...tet Oihea ryja dras? Tet Pnudran? Tet E ryja ran dua un...ec dryd ed? Y pihlr uv cyht?!"

Paine knew she was referring to the ash that was left over from cremation. The blonde had been so calm the night before, this morning, even on the plateau overlooking Home. Maybe it all really just hit her that in the end her grandmother was just ash and nothing more. Paine could imagine how that must feel. Milana had played probably the hugest female role in Rikku growing up. All of those memories or lazy summers, where were they? Did things like that mattered when reduced down we were just sand….

"Those things don't get Sent Princess." Paine rubbed Rikku's shoulders soothingly. "They stay with us." Rikku shook and Paine held her tighter. "It's a good thing, even if that's just all they really are, memories."

When Paine got downstairs to the kitchen with the pictures the only person she found was Kirill, and a bottle of aged Al Bhed rum.

He looked up from his glass and flashed her a tired smile. He had his thoughts about Paine, most positive, some unsure even now after so long in knowing her as his sister's girlfriend. Seeing her now a bit apprehensive made the smile a little easier.

He still had the big brother fear going for him.

The kitchen was silently dimmed, there was a wad of dough sitting tucked under a damp cloth beside him. He had been cooking a lot, mainly because he had always enjoyed that part of living so close to his grandmother. The bread was for them to take home with them tomorrow. He probably wouldn't sleep, the rum helped.

"You gonna just stand there?"

"Trying to decide." Paine admitted.

Kirill polished off the bit of rum in his glass and went to fetch one for Paine. "Where's Lil B?"

"Sleeping." Paine stepped into the kitchen and rested the pictures down before accepting the glass of amber liquid. It was then that she realized she really needed a drink. "Where's everyone else?" She leaned her elbows on the counter and poked at the dough once before taking a sip.

Kirill leaned again the counter as well. "Well Yuna, she's probably off somewhere sitting alone. She likes it that way." Paine nodded having learned over the years how Yuna dealt with tragedy. "Pops is with Uncle Braska and Leblanc in the study, you're here, and Milan is sleeping…" He took a sip of his drink. "Why didn't she come down?" He remembered hearing his sister's elevated tone. It sounded like they were arguing.

"She was upset." Paine answered simply.

"We all are."

Paine nodded and played with the wedding band on her left hand. She was still getting used to it. Kirill saw this and stretched the small distance between them to grab hold of the pictures. The first was of Rikku at the airport looking excited and holding up her boarding pass.

"So it was cool?"

Paine didn't know why but she chuckled. The sound startled Kirill a little but he soon found himself smiling. "Yeah, pretty cool."

"You ride chocobos?"

"Yeah they had this feeder thing and Rikku stole the foder and put it in her pocket, her ride was a little bumpy to say the least."

Kirill laughed and shook his head. "Was it cold?"

"Only at night."

A half bottle of rum later Paine staggered gracefully in the dark into the room she and Rikku were sharing. The air was colder than in the hall and it caused her to take a cool refreshing breath in as she searched for the source.

The window was open.

"I can't sleep."

Paine looked over to the bed where Rikku was lying on her side facing the other direction.

"How'd you know it was me?" Paine whispered back as she went over to the bed and placed a knee on it, not yet sure what mood Rikku was in.

Rikku turned over onto her back. "I know you're walk." She patted the bed when she noticed Paine hadn't moved yet.

Paine pulled her shirt off and her pants and pushed them aside before getting onto the bed and being pulled into a tiny apology kiss. She had learned to categorize Rikku's kisses. This one was soft and short, and it said she was sorry. Rikku looked at Paine for a second after they pulled apart when she tasted the distinct taste of rum on her lips. "You were drinking?"

Paine got comfortable at Rikku's side. They weren't touching at all but she was as close as she could be. "Yeah."

"Are you drunk?" Paine shook her head no. "Ok."

"Tell me why you can't sleep." The taller of the two asked as she adjusted her pillow to lean on and look over at Rikku with.

Rikku shrugged. "I can't find quiet."

"The window is open." A small sandstorm was brewing outside causing the usually tame sounds of the night to be elevated.

"I opened it."

Paine nodded. "Are you ready to leave?"

Rikku looked to Paine and nodded quickly. "I just don't know what to do with myself here."

"Rest."

"I'm restless."

"I know."

"Pypo?"

"Yeah?" Paine draped her arm around her stomach lightly.

"What do you expect to happen?"

"With what?"

"With us, with life…I never got a chance to ask you because of this but…what do married people do? I don't know…This is not how I'm supposed to be feeling and…I feel bad."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm supposed to be over the moon, with you."

Paine sighed. "Give yourself a break huh?"

Rikku nodded. "I know I know."

"We'll be okay."

Rikku nodded. "It just…" She sighed. "I'm just real sad." She looked at Paine with a confused honesty that made Paine sad herself. "Then I see you and I'm happy, but then I feel bad for being happy and it's just…" Rikku shrugged tiredly. "Confusing."

"I know." Paine hugged her from the side then kept her arms around her. "Do you want to talk about something else then?"

Rikku paused. She had been thinking a lot about this while Paine was downstairs with her brother. "Paul."

She could feel her hot breath exhale heavily against her neck.

"I'm tired."

Rikku looked to her side at Paine's face that was hiding behind her hair. "Will you promise me that you will go talk to Keira about it then?"

Paine nodded.

"Say it."

"I promise baby."

"I love you, I just don't want you to regret things…I mean, look what happened here….she just up and left and yeah I guess we had that little time at the wedding to have that talk but there was still so much we never said…and with him…you never know."

Paine lay there in silence for a few minutes. Her wife was right, but a very strong part of her still after all these years just didn't know how to deal. "I will."

Rikku nodded and felt Paine's lips on her cheek briefly. "Are you leaving me?" The blonde asked just below a whisper.

An exhausted Paine nodded shortly. "You're hair smells to good to stay awake."

The silly comment brought the thinnest of smiles onto Rikku's face. "Okay."

Paine tightened her half hug a little. "I'm listening though…"

Rikku smiled a little more and just began to talk about everything that was on her mind. Paine had fallen asleep some time in, but with her just being there Rikku felt safe enough to talk, saying things aloud helped her.

The next morning Rikku woke before Paine to a quiet house. The mini sand storm from the night before had died down and nothing was left but the subtle light blue in the sky promising a bright and wind free day. The blonde pulled herself from under the warm blankets and took a second to look over at Paine's sleeping features before quietly grabbing some sandals making her way down the hall to the bathroom. Once the basics were taken care of she pulled her long blonde hair into a ponytail and stared at her reflection for a moment. She was twenty four, and a newly married young professional, and yet what she saw here in the quiet morning of her birth city was a little girl. The little girl she had always been. It felt strange.

On her way back to her room she peaked to see if her cousin was awake yet. They had exchanged few words since arriving and she wanted to see where Yuna's head was at since everything had happened. The small room was empty, the bed was made and a packed suitcase sat on top ready to be hauled down by Brother after breakfast.

It was still rather early though.

Paine was still in the same position as when Rikku left. Though she had been getting better sleep she still slept like the dead; hardly a sound or a movement, Rikku got good at straining to hear her slow breathing. Oddly enough on the nights she woke up with the rare nightmare it was this slow breathing that helped her calm down and find rest soon after.

Rikku changed into a pair of cloth shorts and a top that showed off her midriff. She ducked out of the room and headed down to the first level of the big house first taking a detour from the delicious hot chocolate she smelled coming from the kitchen to dip into her grandmother's room. She wasn't at all surprised to find her older brother fast asleep in the bed there.

With a mental note to check up on him later Rikku quietly made her way to the vanity mirror and picked up a bottle of perfume and sprayed herself with it before putting it back in its rightful spot on the dresser. She wanted to leave this place, but it wasn't because she ever wanted to leave her grandmother. The iconic scent would comfort her on the long flight back to New Luca.

"I heard you come down." Yuna motioned to a small cup of homemade hot chocolate. "I poured you some." Yuna was wearing a simple cotton dress, her hair was up as well save for that one long braid that followed her around.

Rikku made her way to the central square island slash dining table in the large family style kitchen. There were a few things on the stove, the oven was on too. It was as if Milana hadn't left at all.

"Thanks Yunie."

"Well?" Yuna pressed after she watched Rikku take a sip.

They stared at one another for a while before speaking in unison.

"I want to get pregnant." "I'm still in love with him."

They both blinked at the others comment then both took a long sip of their heated beverage.

Rikku shrugged. "This could use a little more spice too." She motioned to the hot chocolate,

"You're twenty four."

"I think you two should talk."

"I think you should wait."

"He told Wakka he's coming for Vidina's birthday in a few weeks."

"Have you told Paine?"

"Do you think he will show?"

They fell quiet again before reply at the same time again into their mugs.

"No." "No."

They sipped on their drinks and munched on some of the warm bread that was there, both reflecting on what the other had said.

Yuna spoke first. "Is it because she's gone?"

Rikku nodded but then shrugged. "How do I tell…I've wanted this with Paine, obviously it's not going to be tomorrow but…"

"It's expensive."

Rikku looked away. "I'm not even going to bring it up Yunie."

"I don't think you should."

Rikku looked back at her cousin. "And what about Tidus?"

Yuna sighed. "He might be getting traded."

"To New Luca?" The brunette nodded. "Would that change all the rumors though?"

"Well they are rumors right?"

Rikku shrugged. "I don't know. Paine thinks he's being honest, but men…I don't know."

"You want a baby?"

Rikku nodded but picked at the bread on her little plate. "Paine would have a heart attack. Die, and then come back simply to have another heart attack."

"It's a little early don't you think?"

"I don't think, I know, but honestly Yunie I don't know why I feel this way. It's just after that fight with Paine everything changed."

"Does Paine even want kids?"

Rikku nodded. "Deep down I know she wants a family."

"You just got married."

Rikku smiled a little. "Relax it's not happening anytime soon. It's just an idea I had…." She played with the edge of the ceramic plate, then her wedding ring. "Among others…"

Yuna actually smiled. "Do I want to know?"

Rikku shrugged. "Paine got me a honeymoon, she wouldn't let me touch or spend a thing on it, she said that it was her wedding gift to me….So I've been sketching and this area opened up in a nice part of town…"

Yuna caught on before Rikku could say anything else. "You're building her a house."

"Renovating." Rikku corrected, "The whole baby thing well that's just a fantasy but this is something I can really do…"

Yuna shook her head with a small smile as she reached for another piece of bread. "Where?"

"It's in the city still, just in a quieter part of Little Besaid."

"A brownstone?"

"Only the best for my bride."

Yuna chuckled. "Just don't spend all the baby money on it."

The joke brought an honest laugh out of Rikku. "I know her, it's not going to be a mansion, maybe won't even be two stories, but it will be perfect."

They smiled but then fell quiet again.

"I miss her." Yuna admitted. She hadn't really spoken about how she was feeling with anyone yet. "I woke up searching for her down here and…" She shrugged.

Rikku looked over at her cousin and nodded sadly. "Me too Yunie."

"It doesn't feel real."

"Can we promise something?" Yuna nodded. "Can we not sell this place?"

"Never."

"And that we'll make time to come here, when we're old ladies even….I know she'd like that." Their grandmother loved keeping traditions, it was only right that they continued to in order to honor her.

"We will."

Rikku nodded and then sighed. "Making plans like this…"

"Doesn't it make you feel old?"

Rikku nodded.

"Kirill, I worried about him."

"He's just sad, Yunie. And he doesn't like to show it." She already knew how her older brother got.

"I know." Yuna took another sip of her drink.

"We should plan a trip, the three of us."

"She'd want us all to spend more time together, she always had."

Rikku nodded knowing it was so. "She'd want you to stop cutting your hair too."

Yuna chuckled softly and absently brought a hand to her head. "Milana D. Bayla wanted a lot."

Rikku chuckled a little too but then grew thoughtful. "Yunie, what do you think her secret was?"

"Secret for life?"

Rikku nodded. "She seemed so happy."

Yuna put some real thought into the question. Rikku's observation had been so true. It only seemed weird now that she thought back on the years. She never saw her grandmother sad, or even mad at anything. If she were ever that then she did well to hide it from her grandbabies. "I think cause she had us to raise…maybe she was just too busy to give in to stuff that didn't make her time worthwhile."

##

"Look there." Rikku pointed as she zipped up her winter coat. "Baggage Claim 35A…35A."

Paine nodded as she hiked her backpack carry on onto her shoulders and bent down to pick up Rikku's purple and yellow carry on. "Ok so what do you want to do? We can eat here or go home and have something."

Rikku looked around the bustling airport. "All these pleases are expensive for nothing. Let's just go to the grocery store, we have to go shopping anyway now that we're back."

Paine agreed. "You're coming back tonight to pick up Yuna right?" They began walking toward baggage claim.

"Tomorrow night after work."

"What do you want to do tonight? I should get back from Big Mack's thing a little late; when she wins I'm gonna take her for food since Joyce is doing a late shift."

"Listen to you. _When she wins_." Rikku shook her head.

"Well I trained her so…"

"What's going to happen since you missed the exam?"

Paine sighed. "I have to wait for them to review my file and standing again."

Rikku looked over at her wife. "How long does that take?"

"Half a year."

"Awh Pypo."

Paine shook her head. "It's okay, now that I'm married I have other things to focus on." She offered her a smile.

"You're not quitting Judo."

"No, I'm not doing that." She didn't know what she would do if she couldn't train, over the years it had been one of her greatest outlets. "I just…" Paine shrugged not really knowing what to say. "I needed to be there with you, that's all."

Rikku nodded and took her free hand. "I'm not taking lead on this next assignment."

Paine looked at her briefly. "No?"

Rikku shook her head. "Luce is, so we'll both have more time."

Paine nodded. "Are you going to paint more?" The skill had sadly fell behind as Rikku got more invested into architecture.

"That would mean I'd have to visit Pops more."

Paine shook her head. "Well what was I thinking?"

"I don't know, you get these crazy ideas sometimes."

Paine smiled to herself. Boarding the flight had been hard for Rikku, but Paine had noticed that once they touched down in New Luca the blonde was slowly coming out of her shell and was taking practice to become her usual self again.

##

Paine waited with her arms crossed, a very proud smile on her face.

A lanky brown girl the age of thirteen jumped from the heightened platform with the blue ribbon bouncing against her developed chest. She made her barefooted way to her Guardian. Her curly brown hair was tucked away and made her large brown eyes seem even bigger.

"You made it!"

"Duh."

Mackenzie Joel Tilly stopped herself from pouncing Paine and stuck her hand out with a grin.

They shook hands after every fight because it showed professionalism, a big celebration was gloating and unsportsman like. That was the first lesson Paine had taught her. Staying humble was key.

Paine laughed and shook her hand. "1st place, not too bad kid."

"Thanks coach." Big Mack was really growing into her own, Paine wasn't surprised at all that her personality was turning out to be something akin to Rikku's. She supposed she just attracted outgoing people since most time she'd be perfectly content not saying much. She was still rather short, but had hit a bit of a growth spurt in the last few months. She was hardly the little girl Paine first met that day Joyce brought her home from the hospital.

_Flashback._

_They stared each other down for a moment. Both trying to decide if the other were an enemy or not even worth their time._

_It was around two in the morning and the little girl with big brown eyes and fitted pajama bottoms was clutching her teddy bear under her arm and holding an empty cup._

_Paine was clutching the sheets on the lumpy sofa of Joyce's living room, sweating heavily from withdraws. _

_The little girl watched the other woman carefully. Momma had told her that she was bringing someone from the hospital home with her today, but she had been passed out from playing all day and missed the grand arrival. The sweaty girl looked more scared than she did, and so it was then out of nowhere that she decided to be nice and friendly, after all that's what they had learned the other day in second grade. _

"_Do you like hippos?"_

_Paine for the life of her couldn't remember what a goddammned hippo looked like all of a sudden. "What?"_

"_Hippos…" Mackenzie moved to show the new comer her teddy. "He's Gilbert."_

"_Aren't you supposed to be asleep or something?" Paine asked as she eyed the youngin'. "How old are you?" It came out a little harsher than she expected for the little girl pulled Gilbert close to her chest again and said nothing for a while._

"_I'm seven, and I'm not little."_

"_I didn't say you were."_

"_You im…imp…imfyed it."_

"_Implied it…I implied it."_

"_Yeah dat's mean." She pointed a little hand at Paine._

_Paine quirked an eyebrow. "Well you aint big…"_

"_Neither are you…and you're all sweaty…why?"_

_Paine looked down at the tank top she was wearing, the weight she had lost was obvious. "I went working out."_

"_Momma said you died and den came back."_

"_Oh yeah?"_

_Mackenzie nodded. "She fixes peoples and….she fixed you?" The little girl took a curious step forward._

_Paine thought for a moment. "Yeah, I guess…."_

_The dark living room fell quiet. _

"_What do they call you anyway?" Paine asked when the little girl just stood there staring at her. _

"_Mack."_

"_Mack?"_

"_Momma says it's for Mackenzie."_

"_Ah." Paine shifted awkwardly. "I'm Paine."_

_The little girls eyes grew wide and she turned quickly. "We gotta wake Momma!"_

"_What?" No wait, I'm Paine…like that's my name."_

_Mackenzie paused in her frantic state. "Why?"_

_Paine shrugged. "Dunno. Why are you Mack?"_

_She shrugged and there was something so studied about it that Paine knew she had copied her. "Dunno."_

_Another silence. _

"_Go back to sleep." Paine motioned to where the little girl emerged. _

"_I can't."_

"_Why?"_

_Mackenzie shrugged. "Nightm…m…"_

"_Nightmares?"_

_She nodded. Mackenzie took a few more steps toward Paine as if remembering for the first time why she was out here. Her mother's room was across the living room and she was scared and thirsty, but something about this new comer felt safe. "And I'm weel small so…monsters look for small things."_

_Paine was about to roll her eyes until she noticed the real and very related expression of fear in the little girls big brown eyes. "I mean you're pretty big compared to dream things so…" She was at the couch now right in front of Paine at her eye level._

"_Really?"_

_Paine shushed her gently with a look. "I guess." After checking if Joyce had woken Paine looked back to Mackenzie. "Look you can be big if you want…."_

"_Oh no no, I don't know…"_

"_I was little, then I thought big and now…" Well now look where it got her. Sweating all the fluids in her body out as she tried to calm a seven year old down when she herself didn't know if she'd make it through the night. Mackenzie waited for her to get over what she was thinking about. "You can be big." Paine just decided on saying. "Like an airplane or a chocobo or a—"_

"_A burger!"_

"_Shhh—wait what?" _

"_A burger."_

_Paine actually cracked a little grin. This kid was funny. "A Big Mack…yeah, okay."_

"_Rins sells dem."_

_Paine waited for her to say more. "What you want me to get you one?"_

"_No, you're a stranger."_

_Paine chuckled._

_End Flashback _

"Pick up your bag." Paine motioned.

Mackenzie quickly did as she was told as she followed her trainer out of the dojo. "I was good right? I was good?"

Paine nodded. "You did really well."

McKenzie nodded to herself. Making Paine proud was half of what felt good about this. She didn't know why but in a lot of ways she was like her older sister. She wanted to do everything she did and she wanted to do it just as well.

"Do you think I'll be ready to test out soon?"

Paine chuckled. "No, stay in this league, it will be good for you." They neared the exit and paused at the entrance to suit up for the cold that lay before them.

"Paineeeyyyyy."

Paine rolled her eyes and helped Mackenzie into her over coat, no matter how big she got her overcoats for some reason were way bigger.

"I'm beating everyone."

"Right now you are, the next league is tougher I want you to be ready."

Mackenzie sighed heavily. "But I'm ready now."

"Have you been eating your peas?" Paine raised an eyebrow when she got no answer. "What about math? How is that going?"

"That teacher hates me."

Paine opened the front door for her and shook her head as Mackenzie led the way into the parking lot. The skies were dark and it was late. She had work the next morning and all the traveling made her dizzy. "Well until you start eating peas, and until she starts liking you—"

"That's never gonna happen!"

Paine pulled her car keys out of her pocket. "Big Mack you need more time, and that's that. Get in."

Mackenzie huffed the way thirteen year olds did and jumped into the passenger seat of Paine's supped up two door she got as a birthday gift a while back. She and Gippal had been working on it a lot more recently and replaced the engine and converted it to a manual transmission. It was faster and was better on gas which Paine liked because better on gas meant better on wallet.

"Fine…" She settled on after they had been on the road for five minutes. Paine was the queen of silent treatment, Mackenzie was realizing that no amount of pouting would work on her. "Where's Rikku?" She looked around as if the blonde would pop out of nowhere.

"At home."

"Doing what?"

Paine shrugged. "I dunno."

"Aren't you guys married now, shouldn't you know?"

Paine thought about it. Rikku was feeling a bit better, but still a little down, understandably so, but she figured some space was what the blonde wanted. Maybe it wasn't, maybe Mackenzie had more insight into marriage than she did. "Her grandma passed away. That's why we left."

"And you missed your exam."

Paine nodded. "It was sad…"

"You should buy her chocolate."

Paine chuckled. "Jelly beans maybe…"

"Why did she die?"

"It was her time."

"But if people really miss her than maybe she should have left at a different time, like later…."

"Well we don't really know when it's our time."

"Yeah, that's what Momma said."

"She's a smart lady."

"She smells like hospital."

Paine nodded and focused on the road for a moment. "She saved my life, your mom. These next couple years you're gonna turn into an ass, but just remember that's what she does on the daily."

Mackenzie grew thoughtful. "Maybe I should buy her chocolate too."

##

Rikku looked up from the last minute sketches Lucil express mailed over to the apartment when she and Paine were in Home. "Pypo." She greeted. Paine walked over the small distance to the couch and leaned over to kiss Rikku on the cheek before dropping a small bag of jelly beans on her lap and then disappearing. Rikku smiled a little at how Paine's quiet nature came out at times. She must be tired. "Paine!?"

"Yeah!"

"Did she win?" Rikku got up from the tiny loveseat and abandoned her work to go into their room. Paine was in the process of changing into some long baggy sweat pants and a tank top. "Did she do well?"

Paine nodded. "Yeah."

"What's wrong?"

"I'm just tired babe." Paine admitted.

Rikku nodded. "So she won?"

Paine nodded and walked over to Rikku. "She's good and she knows it."

"Mh, I wonder where she picked that up."

Paine shrugged. "What are you doing?"

"Sketching. Do you want to see? It's for downtown." Rikku led the way into the living room and Rikku laid against Paine as she showed her all the intricate details of the designs Lucil had been primarily working on since they left.

"I thought you weren't taking the lead on this one?"

Rikku shook her head. "This one has been open for months, I'm just making some adjustments."

"What's that?" Paine asked motioning to a certain area.

Rikku loved when Paine asked questions because it meant she got to share what she was learning and had learned. It got to help her justify what that rocky patch in their relationship had created, an education she was proud of. "It's a garden."

"In an office building?"

"Well yeah, who wants to stay inside all day anyway?"

Paine nodded. "True true…What about here." Paine motioned to another nearby area.

Rikku chuckled. "That's the bathroom pypo."

"Oh."

Rikku turned slightly and stole a kiss from her wife before looking back to her work completely missing the little blush the kiss had caused Paine. "Here is the staircase, I wanna make it huge but y'know budgets and stuff."

"We all can't have rich daddies."

"Or daddies in law." Rikku corrected. "Let's face some facts pypo, you're spoiled."

"Me?" Paine laughed. "Did we really need to get olive oil mayo?"

"Yes."

"And organic lemon aid?"

"Yes."

"Or whole wheat—"

"Are you going to keep talking while I try and school you on basics of building a bathroom?"

Paine chuckled. "Ah, no sorry."

"Good." Rikku grinned. "It's easier if we build one in the same place on every floor…" She pointed to an area.

"Plumbing?"

She nodded. "Mhm. Anyway William wants this in tomorrow finished on his desk. I'm almost done."

"You're wearing your shortest skirt tomorrow right?"

Rikku rolled her eyes. "You wearing your tightest work outfit right?"

Paine chuckled but then thought of something. "Are we still going to the bank at lunch?"

"Yeah, I'm picking you up after my meeting so bring a change of clothes."

Paine yawned. "Okay."

Rikku turned to look at Paine resting her back on the couch more. "You wanna go to bed?"

Paine opened an eye. "Mmm. "

Rikku rubbed her arm. "I have to finish this."

Paine sighed heavily and moved to sit up. "Yeah."

Rikku shook her head. "Hold on."

Paine shrugged. "I'm sorry." She realized she wasn't really being fair.

Rikku put her sketch pad down. "Play me something." She clasped her hands cutely. "Pwease pwease pwease."

Listening to Paine play piano had become her favorite evening activity as she relaxed with some wine and her sketch pad.

The piano Paine had gotten as her graduation gift sat cramped next the door of the apartment and was seldom played by Paine when anyone was here. She found that picking up the skill again hurt a little more than she thought. It reminded her of being a child and sometimes she didn't like feeling that lost. Everything just came back. Rikku loved it though and Paine loved her wife.

Paine sat down on the dusty stool and opened the case hiding the ivory and looked to her right when Rikku came to sit beside her. "What do you want to hear?"

Rikku shrugged. "Anything." A smile grew when she heard the start of one of her favorite songs. "Moon River." Paine nodded. It was a romantic melody, and also a sleepy one. Paine played it slower than usual, a product of her own fatigue, but she had to admit that nothing really mattered except the next note when she played.

Eventually Rikku got up from sitting beside her and went back to finishing up on her leftover work. She had promised Paine that their time would be theirs; all she needed to do was finish this project till the end of the year and hopefully a promotion was in order, which meant a little less take home work and a nice bonus. She never saw herself as the workaholic type, hell she hated college until she started taking Art classes. Maybe it was because this didn't seem like work to her. She measured a few areas and checked some notes Lucil sent her then rolled everything up and put it in her blueprint tube near the door that was readied for the next morning.

Paine looked up from what she was doing when she felt hands on her shoulders.

"I hate how you're so good at things." The blonde admitted with a small smile as she watched Paine end the song gently.

Paine stopped playing and stood, but not before covering the ivory back up. "I started really young." When she picked it up again a few years ago it just came back like riding a bike.

Rikku nodded motioning to one of the pictures that were framed sitting on top of the piano. It was the only one she had of her wife as a youngster. She was sitting on a piano bench smiling in a pair of overalls with a band-aid on her knee. It was her favorite picture of Paine. "I know you were so cute."

Paine rolled her eyes. "Bed?"

"Yup."

Paine let Rikku go ahead while she busied herself with turning lights off and making sure doors were locked. She found Rikku in the bathroom mirror two minutes later. "What?"

"Do you think this is a wrinkle?"

Paine chuckled and turned the light off on her before heading into their room.

"Hey!"

**AN: The song "Moon River" Is from Breakfast at Tiffany's. I suggest you listen to the piano arrangement, throughout this fic Paine will play songs that directly represent her mood so I strongly recommend you listen to 'em when they come about. Anyway you're reviews have been so great and encouraging, please continue. **

**KathleenDee **


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

"Welcome to Bridge Port Studios." Annie smiled at the short blonde in a navy blue skirt suit and sheer stockings.

Rikku was looking through her purse for something. "Hey I'm here to see Paine Kerrigan." She looked up once she found her wallet to check to see if she still had her debit card with her. If she didn't all of this would be for nothing and she might as well head back to work where she had a mountain of work waiting.

Annie studied the blonde carefully. She was probably a new client or something. "I'm sorry Mrs. Kerrigan is only scheduled on appointments only, we have other trainers who are—"

Rikku gave the girl a look. They were already fifteen minutes late! "Appointments only?"

"Yes, she is our Senior Trainer. She's very busy."

"I have an appointment."

Annie nodded and looked at the small laptop behind the front desk she was standing. She hated front desk duty, especially when she had to deal with stuck up rich bitches like this who clearly didn't need to be here but thought it was in style to have a personal trainer. "Your name?"

"I'm not in the system." Rikku began looking for her phone to try and call Paine herself again. "Rikku Bayl—Kerrigan."

"Kerrigan?"

"Kerrigan."

There was pregnant pause.

"Two R's?"

"K. E. R. R. I. G. A. N." Rikku spelled out, her tone sounding a little more annoyed then she'd like to show.

Just then the door behind Annie opened and Paine emerged in her black pant suit and heels. She gulped quietly when she noticed Rikku give her a look. "Hey Ri my phone died…"

"Paine I called your office phone twice before I left." Rikku sighed in annoyance. She was having a stressful day at work. "Why do you have a phone?"

"I was on The Floor." Paine gave Rikku a look that said they'd discuss why she had a phone at a later moment, then stepped next to Annie behind the desk and opened up her own schedule in the system. "I have to head to the bank I'll be back in an hour or so." Paine explained to her employee as she made her own adjustments to her schedule.

Annie nodded not really paying attention to what Paine was saying but more so her reaction with the blonde. She didn't look like her type at all but she had a sneaking suspicion that this was the new wife. "Client meetings?" She stole a glance at Rikku's left hand where an impressive yet elegant stone sat on her ring finger.

"No." Paine said simply as she patted her pants pocket for her wallet. "Shit."

"Ayo wyhkyd ayoh zeccid tutr'd ayo?"

Annie raised a brow at the blonde. She didn't understand Al Bhed, but that didn't sound too good.

Her boss sighed. "It's in my office." Paine disappeared in the door behind the front desk again. She returned in enough time to see the awkward exchange between her wife and Annie. They weren't saying anything but they were sizing each other up. "Okay let's go." Paine ushered. "I'll drive." As soon as they got outside Paine sighed. "What's up huh?" She unlocked her car from a distance. The afternoon was cold but they were dressed well enough to handle the short walk.

"What's up is that I'm having a poopy day, and I have to get everything done before six because that's when I have to leave to pick up Yunie, and you only take appointments yet note, we are twenty minutes late." Rikku showed her the time on her expensive silver watch. She was dressed to impress today for her morning meeting.

Paine opened the passenger door for her. "I told you, my phone fucking died and I was on the floor." She hopped into her car and turned on the seat warmers and buckled up before reving the engine a little. "What do you want me to do?"

"Was that Annie?" She had heard of the young girl from Paine, but never saw her before.

Paine pulled her dead cell phone out of her pocket and tossed it carelessly into one of the empty cup holder between them. "Yeah."

She was pretty. "Figured."

Paine sighed. "Baby."

"I just have a lot to do today." Rikku sighed not really wanting to get into Paine and her admirers.

"We could have rescheduled."

"If I wanted to it wouldn't matter because you didn't pick up your phone."

She had a point there, still Paine needed her to calm down a little because they fed off of each other's energy and she really didn't want to fight right now. "Alright look I'm sorry. This is important, let's just go and do it."

Rikku took an orange out of her large purse and then a little plastic baggie for the peels. "Fine." The car was silent. Rikku watched Paine shift in and out of gears as she ate her orange. "Did you have lunch at least?"

"This is my lunch hour."

"That's not an excuse."

Paine ran a hand through her hair. "I'm heading to Lap after work." She and Gippal needed to hang out, she hadn't seen him since she got back from the wedding. "I'll eat something then."

"But you didn't eat breakfast." Rikku recalled.

Paine just stayed focused on the road. "I'm just not hungry babe Can we just leave it at that?"

Out of everything to remain after years of treatment Paine's eating habits were permanently changed. Sometimes she was normal, sometimes she was starving, and sometimes she wasn't hungry at all. It worried Rikku when she would go all day without eating anything, but out of everything Paine decided this was not an issue.

Rikku could see she didn't want to talk about it so she dropped it and went back to eating her orange.

Eventually Paine stopped at a red light right before the turn at the bank parking garage. She picked up the wallet Rikku had gotten her all those years back for their one year anniversary and fished out her metro card to swipe for parking. The roads were icy and there was no way she was parking in the street. "I think I'm just gonna take the train into work."

"I can drop you at the stop, we can leave together this time." Rikku nodded liking the idea. She still thought taking the subway was insanity, but Paine knew what she was doing.

Paine laughed a little. "Great so I'll be waiting on you all morning."

"It'll give us time to talk."

"Talk about what?"

Rikku shrugged. "Just to bond Pai."

Paine tried it on out loud. "Bonding time with my girl…."

"No?"

"Sounds a lot like me waiting on you still." She joked.

"Yeah well, you love me."

It was true, she did. "I don't think this new engine Gip put in likes the cold too much." January chills had it making little noises every now and then. Paine turned into the parking garage and drove up to the fifth level before finding a parking space and getting out.

Rikku held her suit jacket close to her as an icy wind slipped through the multi level garage. "When are you coming home then?"

Paine closed the car door and stepped into a pace beside Rikku as they moved toward the elevator. Putting her hands in her pockets Paine shrugged. "When do you want me home?"

"By bedtime."

Paine chuckled. "Alright so one in the morning."

"Pai."

"Well you and Yuna are going to talk forever, this always happens."

The elevator opened and they stepped inside. "Well not till one we both have to get up for yoga the next morning."

"So why doesn't she just stay over?"

"Because I know Yunie, she's gonna miss Kimahri and her own bed."

"So one in the morning."

"What are you doing till one?"

Paine sighed. "Don't worry about it."

"You're my wife." Rikku reminded.

"Well I won't be out fucking bitches if that's your concern." Paine joked.

Rikku laughed. "Oh that I'm not worried about, you know better."

"Mhm."

The elevator opened to the level floor of a spacious white lobby. Just about everything was glass and looked extremely expensive. Even the pens were probably made of gold Paine thought with a shake of the head. This was Rikku's bank and she insisted that their joint account and savings should stem from this one because it was international and her family had been using it forever now. It made transactions from her father's trust to their account super easy once she turned of age to do it herself. Cid had lowered the age to twenty five when he realized Rikku no longer wanted his help financially. It was his gentle way of saying that he was still there if needed. Paine didn't like the idea at all, but what was she to do? It was her wife's birthright. She was working hard to prove though that they didn't need it.

"May we help you?" A man in a tailored suit approached the couple.

Rikku stopped fussing over the lint on Paine's sleeve and smiled. "We wanted to open a joint account." She glanced at Paine who simply nodded.

"That sounds wonderful, business partners?"

"We just got married." The blonde smiled even wider, Paine kept to her nod. She didn't like this guy too much; his teeth were too perfect and the part in his hair was too straight. He also took a little extra time to hold Rikku's hand while he looked at her wedding ring.

"Well here at Waknovia Bank you can assure the life you are planning together will be secure. Please, may I have your names?"

Rikku nodded and followed after the man as he led the way to his office. "Rikku Kerrigan."

Paine smiled a little and fell into step behind her. She liked how that sounded.

"And this is Paine."

"Not much for words hm?" The man joked.

"I like the strong silent types." Rikku joked back.

"Can I offer you two some wine? Or tea perhaps?"

"Oh no thank you both will have me way too talkative and this is our lunch break."

"Shame, it's so nice out."

"Well I wouldn't mind working with the view this building has."

"It is really nice isn't it?"

The importance of small talk was still lost to Paine. Her wife however traveled this world like it was nothing at all. I was times like these as they passed yet another statue of a crystal Aeon that Paine remembered Rikku had grown up primped for situations like this.

They entered a small sparsely decorated office. The far left wall was a large window overlooking the city and the only thing out of the glass, brown, and white color code of the building was a neatly trimmed bonsai tree sitting on Banker Feirabend's desk.

"Please have a seat. I just need to pull up a new file in the database."

Rikku chuckled as Paine tried to get comfortable in the new age office chair facing the desk. She leaned over and touched Paine's arm. "I want to get these in my office, what do you think?"

"This is why I never visit you." Paine whispered back.

Rikku smiled and shook her head as she pulled out a manila folder. "We brought references."

The Banker nodded. "Perfect, as you know Waknovia is one of the most prestigious banking firms in the nation. We screen all of our candidates to make sure they are up to snuff."

Paine glanced at Rikku and the Al Bhed told her not to worry with her eyes.

"Okay now, just the standard savings and checking's? Or would you be interested in investing as well?"

Paine spoke up. "Just the standard." At work when she had a second she looked up the annual feel for all this nonsense and she knew Rikku would want stuff that they didn't need.

"Alright then. May I Mrs. Kerrigan?"

Rikku handed him the folder and then smiled at Paine. "Pypo."

Paine had to laugh a little. Her wife was too excited about the name thing. "Weirdo."

"Ah, Cidney and Braska." The banker nodded. They had a lot of money here. "Family friends?"

"Does it matter?" Paine asked.

He looked up and shook his head no before looking back to the files. "It just makes a small difference in what we allow, you have to understand that not everyone gets an account here."

Paine sighed and motioned to Rikku to say whatever it is she was going to say.

"Well Cidney is my father and Braska my uncle."

"A Bayla, see that helps."

After the interview and signing up of accounts Rikku could sense Paine wasn't for the whole thing. "Look at it this way." She began when they entered the elevator alone to go down five flights. "It's the safest it can possibly be."

"Our two thousand yeah. Great. "

Rikku sighed., "Pypo it's just a bank, would you let it go?" She hooked an arm around Paine's. "We have a bank account together, that should mean something regardless of where it is and how much is in it."

"You're right." It did mean something.

"Transferring money is really easy too."

"Why cause all the other banks are scared of this one?"

The elevator door opened and Rikku laughed. "Probably. Anyway I was thinking about transferring my money to this one only…then split it from there."

"Are you going to close the other one you have?"

Rikku nodded. "Probably, I can't deal with all these cards."

"You should keep a checkings, just for you when you want something nice."

"Well you have to promise to stop putting money in there." Rikku shook her head remembering the time she got an extra two hundred bucks for no reason.

"I want you to have money in that one." Paine didn't like the idea of something happening and Rikku not being prepared. Ever since she stopped being financially dependent on her father she had been learning the hard way how to manage money on her own. Now she was good at it, but in the beginning things weren't so balanced, not at all.

"I have a job y'know?"

"An entry level."

"At the best firm for what I want to do."

"Which means they're allowed to pay you shitty." Not wanting to get into why Rikku made so little for all the work that she did Paine decided to stand her ground. "Babe let me just take care of you, fuck." She opened the car door and got into the driver's seat.

Rikku rolled her eyes. "What year are we living in? You're so old fashioned sometimes." She buckled her seatbelt.

"Yeah yeah." Paine buckled up herself and started the car.

"And another thing—"

"Don't you ever stop talking?"

Rikku laughed. "No not really, you should know this by now."

Paine nodded and glanced at her wife. "You look cute today."

"In my business lady suit?"

Paine nodded. "I like it."

Rikku smiled. "It's cause I'm in a skirt." Paine shrugged. "I want to buy another one….or maybe just some slacks, like a pink but a subtle pink so it's still business casual y'know?"

"I could never dress up every day."

"I know. I'm surprised you remembered to bring your suit and heels to work today." Paine had woken up earlier to go to the gym and then straight from there she went to work.

"I knew this was important."

"How's work?"

Paine nodded as she drove out of the parking garage and onto the cold streets. "It's good I guess…"She glanced at Rikku. "How are you feeling?"

Rikku shrugged. "Like it didn't happen…"

"Business as usual?"

Rikku nodded. "Well I'm trying."

"Don't work yourself too hard."

"I just got back from all my paid vacations, and I missed a lot apparently. Plus this new thing William wants Luce and I to do for some Yevonite." She shook her head. "Pops would about loose his shorts if he found out."

"Don't let him find out."

"Always the best influence."

Paine chuckled. "I'm sure some would say otherwise."

"Only some?"

Paine switched into a lower gear as they slowed down at a light. "What do you want for your birthday?" She asked as they sat and waited for the light to change. Paine had already gotten Rikku's gift picked out, she was just waiting on to pay off a few bills to get it.

Rikku sighed. "So knyhtsy"

Paine frowned. "I can get you a cake or something…"

Rikku chuckled a little at her attempt and quickly wiped at her eyes, her makeup was not water proof today. She did it on purpose, something as a silent protest to tears. "Thanks pypo."

Paine glanced at Rikku again while she drove. "You and Viddy gonna share that party?" She felt bad about bringing it up and needed to change the subject.

Rikku shook herself out of whatever thing she had slipped into. "It'd be cute no?"

"Yeah, I think he'd like that."

"What are we doing tomorrow?"

"Dinner at Wakka and Lulu's."

"Tidus is getting traded to the Goers."

Paine whistled. "Game changer."

Rikku laughed a little. "I know, when is Baralai coming back?"

"He's stuck there for another week. Should be back for the party though."

"Yeah, come home at one."

Paine nodded. "See? I don't want to be there for all that gossip."

"Well Tidus knows what happened, even that they dated a little. I'm not sure how this party will blow over...Or how the wedding went for that matter."

"I'm just showing up for Viddy."

"Hey."

"And you."

"Thank you."

"He's four already though…that's fucking crazy."

Rikku smiled at that. "Time flies huh?" It was true, he was just a mush ball yesterday, now he was a little man almost ready to go into real school and everything. She loved being aunty "Weekku" and seeing Paine develop that relationship with him was probably the cutest thing ever. "Aunty Pai Pai aww." Rikku teased.

"I'm just saying he's gonna be four…I remember when he was born…" Did that make her old?

"You were the second person to hold him."

"Yeah I know." She was reminded of it every time she passed the fireplace mantel where Rikku had framed a few pictures and put them there. One of them being the picture Tidus took of her and Paine. Paine was holding Vidina nervously and looking down at him while Rikku had an arm wrapped around her waist looking at the new addition to their lives.

"Remember when he was crying for you that one time?"

Paine nodded. "Fuck, that shit broke my heart."

Rikku laughed. "Aw look who grew soft after all."

"Only for my nephew." She was proud a few things, being there for Vidina was high up on that list. She really wanted him to grow up with the family she never had.

"And Mackenzie." Rikku reminded having seen firsthand how Paine would bend her entire day just so she could pick the little girl up from school sometimes.

Paine nodded, That little girl was the only one allowed to call her Painey. "Yeah. Except now I gotta be tough on her since she's getting older."

"Don't be too tough."

Paine shook her head. "I know what it's like growing up on Crenshaw."

"But you're like her big sister. She still has to feel like she can come to you about embarrassing stuff like her first time—"

"Which is not happening till she's thirty."

Rikku laughed. 'Paine you're first time was when you were—"

"But I wasn't okay, and I didn't have an older me kicking my butt not to do stupid shit."

Rikku put her hands up. "Okay, okay." Paine pulled her car alongside Rikku's at Bridge Port moments later. "I love you." Rikku leaned forward for a kiss.

Paine kissed her back gently. "I love you too." She said quietly.

Rikku smiled. "Machina forbid someone hear you say that."

"Why should they hear it? It's only for you."

Rikku shook her head and pecked Paine on the lips once more before getting out the car. "Call me."

"I will….hey." Rikku turned to look back in the car.

"Take it easy okay?" They locked eyes.

Rikku nodded. "Love."

"Rikks." Paine waved a little before pulling off.

##

"Double Manhattan for the lady in the suit."

Paine smiled as the tan Al Bhed in baggy black chef's pants and a white under shirt approached the bar after it was closed for a private party that left.

"Gip."

His face had aged a little, His eyes were just as green as she ever remembered though, His chin was clean shaven and his usually spiked blonde hair was slicked back with gel. He looked the same to her, he always did, but she recognized the things that would change. He had been spending a lot of time in the restaurant and it showed.

"The fuck you wearing that for?" He asked as he placed the drink in front of her and his own beside hers.

Paine motioned for him to sit. "Bank with Rikku earlier. Then I spilt coffee on my work clothes so…"

"Fuck." He sat on the stool beside her. "Cheers on being tied down to the same pussy forever."

Paine picked up her glass and they clinked their glasses before taking long sips.

##

"You left him with Pops?" Rikku asked as she poured some tea into two cups late that night. The fireplace was set and they had been nibbling on some cookies Yuna brought from Home with her.

They had just come back from dinner at the little Besaidian place across the street and were trying to warm up from the nipping cold.

Yuna nodded. "Father isn't even home these days, and at least Uncle Cid walks him."

Rikku nodded as she brought the tea to her cousin. "Are we old ladies?"

"I feel like one." Yuna chuckled. "What do you mean?"

"Well Paine is out and stuff and here we are drinking tea."

"Do you really feel like going out?" Yuna wondered.

Rikku thought about it. "No…not really." Somehow dancing felt wrong, enjoying herself felt even worse. Today had been one of the longest days ever for her since coming back from Home. "I'm glad Paine isn't here…" Yuna raised an eyebrow, "Not because I don't want her around me all of the time, I do, it's just when she looks at me now I know she worried about me, and I haven't been able to say much of anything to convince her otherwise."

"I think she understands."

"I hope so…"

"Baralai called me."

"Oh?"

"He's being delayed in Bevelle."

"Yeah, Paine said something like that."

"I guess talking to him usually makes me feel better."

"Well you did date for a little there…." Though he was still Rikku's favorite as far as Paine's exes went, and he was a complete romantic when it came to Yuna, Rikku agreed that the short lived relationship was more friendly and comforting than anything else. Plus Lai was bi or gay…she still didn't know which meant he probably didn't either. He genuinely cared for Yuna though and the blonde appreciated that, but was he Tidus? No.

"I think its better we stay friends."

"So it didn't make you feel good this time?"

Yuna sighed. "I feel childish. We have been past everything and I was fine and then he's at the wedding and now I can't keep my mind on anything concrete but what he said to me."

Rikku sat with the brunette. "What did he say?"

"He said that he missed me….after how many years and he still said that?"

"What about those rumors?"

"And if they are true I'm to judge? I dated Lai and I hooked up with that guy, it's not like I was innocently waiting for his return."

"It's tricky."

"It shouldn't be."

Rikku shook her head. "You know what I think?"

"Hm?"

"I think that you really don't have the time to worry about it."

Yuna nodded. She had so much on her plate this year with quitting her bill paying job and investing everything into Alex Shaw with Lulu. Rikku was right, and she knew what she wanted, but seeing Tidus for the first time in a long time threw her for a loop. She wasn't expecting to feel her stomach knot up or her words leap for release without being filtered. She wanted to say sorry for some reason, probably because the way he found out about her and Baralai was not ideal. She wanted to hug him, but more than anything she wanted to push him away because what that hug would bare was something she knew she didn't have time to feel. Moreover, it would birth something she didn't want to feel again.

She put a hand to her head and then pulled gently at her long braid. "What do I do little cousin?"

Rikku got more comfortable across from her on the small loveseat. "Drink your tea."

##

"Damn."

"Yeah then we hooked up again, and the next morning I woke up with a note saying some bullshit about her going to Djose for surgery. I know she's fucking lying."

Paine took a sip of her drink. "Gip how do you know that?"

Gippal shrugged. "Or I guess I hoped she was."

Paine nodded slowly. "Mind fuck."

"Yeah, more like heart fuck." He tossed back the rest of his drink. "I gotta tell you this love shit looks good on some people, you, Nooj, Walker, but me? I don't know what to do with myself."

Paine smiled. "Well at least you're being faithful that took a while."

Gippal laughed. "Shut up."

"So you two are back together then? No more stupid shit?"

Gippal nodded. "Yeah we're cool. She calls me and stuff."

Paine always found Gippal and Elma's relationship amusing. They both never outright said they were together, or that it was serious, but she knew from the talks she had had with Gippal and with Elma separately that they were content with each other's craziness. She knew from experience that if you could deal with someone and their crazy you were good to go.

Paine took another sip of her drink.

Gippal stood then and ventured behind the bar to fix himself another drink. "I've been here, tryin' to run this place and not think about it."

Paine shook her head no when her best friend offered her another drink then sighed when he poured one for her anyway. "When's the last time you had a day off?"

"Day off?" He laughed then as he twisted a cap back on some rye whiskey. "I know you've been pampered and shit way cross Spira, but regular people can't afford a day off."

Paine huffed and accepted the new drink. "You're full of shit, I know you have money stashed somewhere, and that's different. I got married. Or have you forgotten?"

Gippal grinned at the banter and resumed his seat beside Paine. "Yeah, I remember fucking talking you off a ledge."

Paine chuckled and finished her sip before leaning forward on the bar. "I was nervous."

"Oh yeah?" Gippal shook his head. "Here I thought you were just hung over from that Bachelorette party."

Paine gave him a nod. The kind you gave someone you knew your entire life. "That too."

##

"Has Lulu mentioned him?"

Yuna stretched her legs out with a small yawn and nodded. They were full on tea and cookies and the throw sitting on the couch was looking more and more inviting. "She said she was planning to visit him with her mother….Has Paine said anything at all?"

Rikku sighed heavily. "I swear every time I try and bring it up Yunie she runs."

"Well I'm not surprised."

"She said she would talk to Keira about it, but I know she hasn't."

"I'll keep you updated. Sometimes these things are nothing."

"I know she thinks about it." Rikku said noticing Yuna yawn again. "Are you staying?"

Yuna opened her eyes quickly. "Mm, no, I have to walk Kim, are we still up for yoga tomorrow?"

Rikku shook her head. "I'm way too sleepy right now to decide."

She sat up and reached for her bag. "When is Paine coming home?" Usually she'd be here by now either joining in on the conversation every now and then, or either coming in and out of the apartment; busy with whatever it is she did.

Rikku shrugged and glanced at the time. "She said one, but her and Gippal… I'm expecting three the latest."

"How is Gippal?"

"Well, I guess, I think he and Elma are back together again, but Pai says they work a lot."

"A chef and a surgeon? I can only imagine."

"Are you coming over to Lulu's tomorrow?"

"I wish I could." Yuna stood with her car keys in hand. "I have so much to get done, and Father wanted to have lunch."

Rikku followed her to the door. "What's Uncle B like these days?" She joked. She hadn't really spoken to her uncle since she and Paine's engagement.

Yuna shrugged. "I get the feeling that something's bothering him." She paused. "He won't say but I feel like he has been in trial mode for years now."

"Well no matter what happens we're dragging him away for Viddy's party."

"And the show? Are we going?"

Rikku nodded remembering their tradition since being little girls in New Luca. "I'll call Keira."

##

"Yeah and you won't tell me how many times you hit that so I'm not doing the same."

Paine rolled her eyes. "Sometimes I feel like you were supposed to be the girl in this relationship." She said dryly.

"Why?"

"Because you are the only person who wants details."

He laughed a loud laugh. "Dr. P, c'mon you can tell me."

"No I can't. I'm married now."

"Keep drinking." Gippal pushed another glass in front of her. "It'll come out."

Paine chuckled and pushed the drink that had magically appeared in front of them away. She checked the time on her cell phone. "I have to go soon."

"Tight leash."

"It's not that, I just said I'd be home at a certain time and ever since we got back Rikku's been…" Paine shrugged. "Sad?"

Gippal nodded understandingly. "That's fucked up that it happened like that, right after the wedding."

"Yeah."

"Nice ass wedding though. Food was amazing, who catered?"

Paine rolled her eyes. "Some idiot."

"Damn Dr, P."

"Really though it came out a lot nicer than I thought. I mean I was cool with whatever, but you know Rikku…."

"For second there I thought she was actually going to grow fangs."

Paine laughed remembering the planning process well enough to not ask Rikku to plan anything for a while. "Me too."

They fell quiet for a moment. "So do you feel different?"

Paine thought about the whole two weeks she had been married. "Yeah. Feels good."

"But like when she gets old and shit…"

Paine laughed. "I'll be a year older than her still."

He shrugged. "I don't know man, same person every day…forever…."

"That would have scared me before I knew her." Paine admitted as she reached over to grab the new drink and take a sip.

2:23am

"Hey, I'm home." Paine whispered into Rikku's ear before kissing her on the cheek and getting off the bed to shower and get ready for bed.

The room was dark; it had been for the hour and a half that Rikku decided she just needed to sleep. Paine's lips were cold. The blonde yawned and rolled onto her back to watch her lady's silhouette empty her pockets on the dresser. "You're late." She murmured.

Paine nodded knowing this to be true. "I know Princess, I lost track of time." It was clear by her tone that Rikku wasn't mad at all; she was just stating the obvious, or maybe just making a tally for some later argument. Whatever the reason, in the present, Paine was in the clear.

The blonde yawned. "How did it go?"

Paine took off her leather jacket and then unbuttoned her white button down. "It was good. He's still Gip."

Rikku chuckled a little. "Did he ask you how many times we did it?"

"Of course." Paine laughed to herself finding it amusing that even Rikku knew him well by now.

"And you said…?"

"I said that we did it like ehh 56 times."

Rikku giggled. "You wished."

"I told him to mind his own business."

"Hurry up and shower."

Paine nodded. "Okay." Ten minutes later she emerged clad in only her underwear. Rikku made room for her and then chuckled when Paine lay on top of her, wrapped her arms around her and kissed her.

"You smell so clean!" Rikku smiled before they shared another kiss.

"We can get dirty, I don't mind." Paine smirked in that sexy way of hers.

Rikku sighed with a sleepy smile on her face. "Pypo."

"Mm why does that sound like a no?" Paine asked as she buried her head under Rikku's chin.

"Cause it was." Paine moaned sadly and it made Rikku hug her closer. "E ghuf pypo, E's cunno." Rikku was very aware of the fact that they hadn't been intimate since their honeymoon, it made her feel crappy, but then on the other side she just wasn't up for it. Losing her grandmother so soon and so quickly honestly made her feel guilty enjoying much. Bless Paine's patience.

"It's okay." She whispered, and it was. Paine got it, Understanding didn't mean it was easy. Especially when her wife was lying in bed with that sexy half awake look, her hair out spilling all over the pillows, bare legs exposed…. Still she had to respect whatever Rikku wanted. "How is Yuna?"

"We'll see. I think she's just feeling it." Rikku ran her hand through Paine's slightly damp hair. "You can't fight how you feel."

Paine let herself enjoy the small scalp massage. "Are you tired?" She asked when the blonde yawned again.

Rikku nodded. "Please tell me you ate something today."

"I had wings and whiskey…that's wheat so technically it was like a sandwich."

Rikku shook her head and they cuddled more. "I'm gonna pack you lunch from now on."

Paine chuckled but rolled her eyes all in the same. Rikku's eyes were closed though so there was no way she'd remember this, or at least that's what Paine's hoped. "Okay Ri."

"Okay?"

Paine nodded. "Whatever you want Princess."

"See that's what I like to hear." Rikku drifted a little more into sleep but smiled when he felt Paine kiss her on the cheek again. "I love you."

Paine played the big spoon as they got comfortable. "I love you too."

##

"I told him you two were coming over today and he hasn't sat still once." Lulu greeted her younger sister and new sister in law at the door.

Far away was the tiny apartment the D'Autry's started out with. Now they lived in a family oriented borough of the city. It was well off and not too far from the Heights, this made it convenient when Paine and Rikku had family days where they just lounged about without the other. Rikku went to her fathers home to paint and Paine came here.

It was a large enough home to note a well off family. Wakka joked that they needed more room for the blitz team Lulu was going to birth him. Lulu always huffed at the comment and gave him a look. They were happy though, happier than most and they knew it. Things recently had been shaky, with Lulu's father's health and Wakka gearing up to be away on another season of blitz, still Lulu found solace in her little boy. He really and truly was the thing that kept her on her toes. He was proving to be more like his father with every passing day which she both loved and hated. Loved because Wakka was a good man, and she knew Vidina would grow to see that, hated because Wakka was well…Wakka. Unlike his father Vidina was still small, so getting into things was a lot easier. Especially when you had the curiosity of an almost four year old.

Lulu herself hadn't aged one stitch, one look at her mother told you why. It just didn't happen. She was clad in a simple long black maxi dress and held and was holding a book.

"Lulu!" Rikku smiled happily.

"Hey sis." Paine nodded.

Lulu smiled at the greeting, it was new development believe it or not. "Come in."

The home smelt of Besaid; a mixture of the spiced food Wakka and Vidina were making in the kitchen and the subtle incense that had been lit with the morning. One could tell that the two adults were islanders. Rikku loved their home, it was so colorful yet cozy and not over done. She wondered then as she took off her shoes what she would do about the interior design for her wife's wedding gift. It would be something like this for sure, but it also had to tailor to two polar opposite styles. She studied a fabric on a wall as she took her left shoe off.

"Vidina!" Lulu called and then sighed as she heard the little feet fall and then get back up again as they raced toward the door.

Vidina Mateo had grown quite a bit from birth, yet he still resembled Lulu in a lot of ways no one could deny that this was Wakka's kid. Today he was wearing green shorts and a yellow tank top that appeared to be stained with something from all the cooking he had been helping with. His little feet were bare, and his red hair was combed back and gelled by Wakka.

"Aunty Pai!" He ran for the duo. "Aunty Weekku!" He took a leap of faith and it took some real fast maneuvering for Paine to put down the toy they brought him and actually catch him.

Lulu merely shook her head. "Wakka!" She called. She had to yell sometimes or no one in this mad house would hear her.

"What!"

"What is—!" Lulu stopped and decided to lead by example. "What is on his shirt?" She asked as she walked into the kitchen leaving the trio to get reacquainted.

Paine laughed as Vidina tripped over his words to get out everything he wanted to say, his auburn eyes bright and his face turning a little pink. "Slow down!"

"You're here!" He nodded then blushed heavily when Rikku planted several kisses him on the cheek. He turned to her in Paine's arms. "Aunty Weeeekku." He sighed cutely.

"So meddma zammopayh, muug ruf pek oui yna huf! E fyc uhmo kuha y faag!"

Viddy smiled a toothy grin and tried his best. "E's hu… zammopays"

Rikku giggled and pinched his cheek because she could really just eat him up. "H." She made the H sound in Al Bhed for him to hear where he messed up. "zammopayH"

Paine put him down and Vidina began to whine a little. "Well can I get a break? Aunty Rikku's right you got big on me. You're real heavy Vid."

"I'm not."

"Yeah you are."

"Momma said I was a baby….eh.."He looked to Rikku.

"Y Pypo." She smiled. She had to admit the kid was smart. Picking up Al Bhed like he was even when she wasn't around all the time was impressive. "Lusa rana, mad sa caa oui."

Paine watched as Vidina climbed onto the sofa where Rikku sat then climbed onto Rikku's lap. Then probably the cutest thing in the world happened. They started speaking quietly in Al Bhed. Rikku asked if he was being good and Vidina said he was. Then she asked what he learned today, because it was a rule in the house that he had to learn something new every day, and even though he stumbled miserably in the language to try and explain that he learned cooking Rikku was right there nodding and answering in Al Bhed as if it were nothing.

Paine busied herself with getting the bag where Vidina's gift was, but she smiled regardless. Rikku was really good with him. She gave him all that emotional stuff she knew she lacked sometimes. She knew it meant a lot to really now be Vidina's aunt instead of his aunt by proxy. It was funny though, she had always been his aunt in Paine's eyes. Did that mean she had always been her wife? Paine sat back on the couch. Suddenly the little moment broke between Rikku and Vidina and the little boy looked over to Paine curiously.

"Aunty Pai can't speaked it?" He asked looking over at Rikku.

Rikku nodded. "Damm sa cusadrehk Muja"

Paine thought on it for a moment before speaking. "Fa vunkud dra beldinac." And they had. Vidina though, found this misfortune funny.

He looked back to Rikku. "Aunty Pai says it funny."

Rikku chuckled. "She doesn't have an accent like I do, that's why."

"An asset?"

Paine chuckled. "No not an asset."

"Are you excited for our party?" Rikku asked.

Vidina nodded quickly and shimmied out of Rikku's lap to run off somewhere. Rikku and Paine exchanged looks.

"He's been makin' invitations ya?" Wakka announced as he stepped into the den area. The adjusted father was clad in long work out bottoms and a sleeveless shirt exposing his biceps. "Ehh don't know 'bout how manly dat is but, he wants to do it." He shrugged and walked around the couch to hug Rikku and Paine.

"Smells good. You sure Gip isn't back there?" Paine teased as she sat up a little.

"Ha, he can't cook Besaidian." Wakka sat down on the sofa chair near the sofa where Paine and Rikku were seated. "How was it ya?"

Just then Vidina came running back into the room with a stack of colored on construction paper. "Momma showed me." He said holding up a copy that was clearly colored by an adult with refined motor skills.

Rikku laughed and Paine reached a hand out. "Come, show me. Where's mine?"

Vidina brought the stack up to Paine and placed them on the carpeted floor before sitting there before her looking for her invitation.

"He wrote people's names on 'em." Wakka whispered loudly and showed them the squiggly lines on the part close to the huge "To" he had written.

Rikku laughed again. "He's so cute."

"I foun it." Vidina jumped up then and handed Paine her invitation. "Cause—cause it has two mommies on it." He nodded proudly pointing to the two women stick figures holding hands. In his eyes every woman was a momma and every man was a daddy. It just made more sense that way.

Paine chuckled and Rikku just about died at how cute his perception was.

"Oh my goodnesss." She cooed.

"How come this one is so short?" Paine snickered.

"Cassssuuuee Aunty Pai, Aunty Weekku is wittle too."

The room burst out in laughter and Vidina looked about curiously. "I waned out of wehwoh Aunty Weekku, for yuh hair ya?"

Rikku shook her head with a big grin in place. The little "ya" just about killed her. "Ed'c payidevim."

Vidina nodded proudly again. "You two gon share okay? Cause Momma said dat marries share."

Paine nodded and stole a glance at Rikku that the blonde caught and held onto for a moment longer. "Yeah I'll share with her." Paine nodded before looking back to Vidina. He was gathering up all the invitations.

"Lu wants to really send those out once she figures out how to read sand script." Wakka joked as he watched his son haul the cards back to his room.

"Daddy I gon put dis ways." Vidina nodded.

"Alright brudda you want some help?" Wakka asked gently when he noticed several invitations falling from his hands. The little Wakka and Lulu look alike was quick to gather them though.

"No."

"Alright den." The trio watched as Vidina ran off leaving a trail of invitations behind him.

"I'm sure the pictures would help some." Paine handed their card to Rikku who cooed over the fact that her stick figure had a scarf on.

"He knows me so well!"

"Aye so we thinkin' bout having the party on the Sunday, sound good?"

"Yeah works for us."

"Spoke to Tidus the other day ya? He said he'd make it."

"Did you know he was getting traded?" Rikku asked.

Wakka nodded. "We're under contract, I told Lu, guessin' that's how Yuna knows. At least I didn't say nothing." They really expected them to keep it from their wives?

Just then Vidina came running back into the room with a blitzball in hand. "Aunty Pai can we pway wit dis?" He asked politely. He looked about between his father and Aunt.

Paine looked to Wakka who nodded. "Yeah c'mon, we have to dress you up though, it's cold outside." Paine stood and followed the running toddler toward the front door. "We'll go to the park." Paine called into the kitchen to Lulu who was stirring something on the stove.

"Bring his inhaler." She motioned to a spot on the kitchen counter. "Just in case."

Paine stepped into the warmer kitchen, where the intoxicating aroma of dinner was overwhelming. "Has he had an episode lately?"

Lulu shook her head no. "The other night though he was coughing."

Paine picked up the little superhero backpack she knew from many outings was her nephews. She put in the inhaler and went to the fridge to get a juice box for each of them. "What did the doctors say?"

"Well it isn't as bad as we thought; as he grows they say the asthma will go away. With his lungs being weak at birth, they just want to keep watching him."

"That's real good, he's got way too much energy to be stuck with this thing." She motioned to the bag with the inhaler in it.

"I know."

Paine waited there a moment. "How's—"

"Well, considering."

Paine nodded and moved to leave the kitchen.

"Come back in an hour, food will be done then."

"Yup." Paine nodded. "C'mon Viddy, say bye to Momma."

Vidina came into the kitchen dragging his little red coat with him, Lulu leaned her cheek down for him to kiss it. "Bye Momma."

"Bye sweetheart. Take care of her hm?" Lulu motioned to Paine.

"I will." Vidina nodded quickly as if he was just given the most important job ever.

"We'll be back." Paine nodded before ushering the little boy out.

"Aunty Pai how comed is cold?" Lulu could hear her son ask.

"Cause Vid, the planet it moving."

"…Aunty Pai?"

"Yep?"

"How comed is moving?"

"Because of the gravitational pull."

"Navinational?"

"Yeah."

"…Aunty Pai?"

The front door closed behind them.

"We brought him back something." Rikku smiled pulling the bag that Paine had brought in close. "It's a chocobo knight toy action figure thing." She pulled the box out.

"Ah yeah he'd love dis ya?" Wakka nodded in approval.

"What? Another toy for him to push on me when I leave in the mornings?" Lulu chuckled as she entered the room. "He caught me putting one back the other day."

"Oh no." Rikku chuckled.

"Inconsolable."

Wakka chuckled remembering the outburst. "Ya, poor Lu."

Lulu sat beside Rikku. "So, tell me. How have you been? How does it feel to be Mrs. Kerrigan?"

Rikku played with her wedding ring a little but got the biggest smile on her face. "Bayla-Kerrigan." She corrected.

Lulu made an amused noise. "Well?"

Rikku smiled. "First tell me how you enjoyed the wedding."

"Beautiful, who knew Keira could sing so."

Rikku smiled remembering their first dance. Paine had surprised her by asking Keira to sing it. It was really touching and it was the one thing she left Paine responsible of and she was not disappointed.

_Flash Back_

"_Um…." Paine began awkwardly behind the mic on stage. It wasn't a huge crowd at all, just close friends and family, hell she wasn't even on a real stage, just a stair step of a thing, and yet she was fucking nervous. "So Rikku only trusted me to plan this one part.." Everyone laughed. "I had to pick a song and everything." Paine shifted. "So um, I can't sing at all, but Keira can…so I asked her to sing." _

_Rikku smiled at how adorably awkward Paine looked up there. Her eyes were already glossy, because she had already cried twice, they were happy tears though, and now as she saw Keira and Carlo get up from where they were sitting she felt her eyes water again._

"_It's special to me because even though we started out real rough, I've always felt like you had me from day one." She got a few "aws" from the crowd but she was only looking at Rikku, she had only been looking at her all night. She was so beautiful that it made her palms sweaty and she was at a loss to say anything to her directly. _

_Carlo sat down at the piano behind her in his tux, and Keira approached her in long deep purple gown. It was stunning, that coupled with her hair up and styled with a touch of makeup really brought out her beauty and resemblance to her daughter. "Go ask her to dance." Keira pushed at Paine to get off the stage before she made a fool of herself. _

_Paine nodded quickly but smiled in thanks. _

"_So it's true, she can't sing." Keira teased over the mic as Carlo tuned up. "But she came to me with this song and we actually worked on it together for you." Keira motioned off to Rikku. "So congratulations." She turned to Carlo who nodded and began to play._

_Paine wiped her hands against the white linen pants she was wearing as she made her way over to where Rikku was sitting as Keira began to sing. _

"…_**And the first time, ever I saw your face….". **_

"_You idiot." Rikku said wiping at her face to clear the tears there already. _

_Paine smiled. "C'mon." She put her hand and Rikku took it. _

"_**I thought the sun rose in your eyes….."**_

_Keira smiled as she watched the two began to sway. She had to keep from getting emotional herself and ruining the moment._

"_**And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave to the dark mm, and the empty skies…."**_

"_How'd I do?" Paine whispered into Rikku's ear._

"_**And the first time ever I kissed you mouth…"**_

"_I love you."_

"_**I felt the earth move in my hands, like a trembling heart, of a captive bird, that was there…at my command, my love."**_

_Keira took a huge breath._

"_**And the first time ever I lay with you…."**_

_Rikku rested her head against Paine shoulder when she felt Paine hold her closer._

"_**I felt your heart, so close, to miinnneeeee." She paused and then sang again, "And I knew our joy would fill the sphere…And last, and last, and last to the end of time, my love."**_

_Rikku picked her head up and Paine looked down at her as the song ended. _

"_**And the first time ever I saaawwww your, face, your face, your face…"**_

"_You're so beautiful." Rikku whispered to her bride._

_Paine smiled down at her, a little moist in the eyes but not as teary as Rikku. "I'm just lookin' at you." Rikku looked absolutely stunning, like royalty even. Paine took a little breath to steady herself. _

_They were married._

_Rikku smiled up at her and then wrapped her arms around her neck. She stole a quick swipe near the corner of Paine's left eye. "You really loved me the first second you saw me?"_

_Paine had to chuckle at little at the question. "No babe, but the second for sure." Rikku grinned and they sealed their first dance as a married couple with a kiss. _

**AN: The song or shall I say, "their song" was "The first Time ever I saw your face" performed by Leona Lewis. Reviews? I know you guys are reading, I'm just hoping you're liking it lol. **

**KathleenDee**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five **

"Tired? Huh?" Paine asked as she held Vidina's hand in her left and the blitz ball under her right. They were walking home from the park after playing for what seemed like forever. It was getting colder and Paine wanted to get the little boy home before he caught something. She'd never hear the end of Lulu's mouth if she got her little guy sick.

Vidina looked far up at Paine while he sipped on his juice box. "Yeah." He had quieted down quite a bit since they started the walk home.

"Yeah, you gonna sleep?" Paine had to adjust to his pace. It wasn't even half her usual stride.

"Nooo."

"Why not?"

He sipped more of his juice. "Cause den not gon say bye bye to wu and Aunty Weekku."

"Hm, guess you just have to stay up forever then. Big people never sleep."

This news surprised him. "I can't do that. I'm jus a kid."

Paine chuckled. "We always say bye to you, you don't wake up with all dem kisses Aunty Rikku gives you? I know I would."

Little Vidina shrugged. "Aunty Pai?"

"Yeah little guy?"

"Does duh sun have a Momma?"

"I don't know bud, why?"

"Cause den who gives it kisses when it goes way?" He motioned to the sky getting darker. Dinner would be more than ready by now, and Paine had to admit she herself was a little tired from running around with him for an hour and a half straight.

Paine thought about the question seriously. "The ocean maybe? I think that's its home."

Vidina laughed. "Aunty Pai a sun can't bweeve under wader. That's silly."

Paine chuckled at herself for trying to reason with a three year old. "I guess you're right Viddy Mae."

"Aunty Pai?"

"Yeah?" She sighed.

"I'm sweepy."

"Yeah?" Paine stopped. "You want me to hold you?" They had two more blocks to go but she didn't want him walking under the influence of no energy and apple juice. Vidina handed Paine them empty juice box then raised his hands to be picked up. Paine smiled inwardly as he wrapped his little arms around her neck and rested against her. He always did that when she picked him up, ever since he was just a baby his head would fall against her in the same manner. Maybe he did that with everyone, if he did she never noticed.

"Tank you." He remembered his manners as he snuggled her shoulder.

"No problem." Paine whispered back. Half a block later he grew heavier and that's when Paine knew he had fallen asleep. Over the past four years the little guy in her arms had really opened Paine up to a lot of feelings, no one, not even Rikku could do. She felt most vulnerable with him, simply because he was a baby and sincerely had no idea about all the wrongs that she had yet to make right. Things had changed for Paine dramatically when she had the realization that Vidina would grow up always knowing her, she'd be a direct influence on his life forever, and that was some heavy shit if you really thought about it. She knew how she grew up, how at times she felt scared or alone, those were fears she'd never wish on him because when you were small these things were monstrous in size, and Vidina was already afraid of monsters.

The mother fought the smile caused by the sight before her. "What's this?" Lulu asked when she opened the front door.

Paine stepped in from the cold. "He fell asleep."

Lulu reached to take his little boots and cap off. She touched her son's pale cheek and nodded. "He's knocked out cold. I wish he would have eaten."

"Should I have brought him back sooner?" Paine asked never really knowing what to do with kids this small. They were like puppies that could ask questions. You played with them, feed them, bathe them. She was sure she had the basics down.

Lulu shook her head. "No, it's better he sleep. He'll wake Wakka up if he's hungry later. Rikku is in the living room with Wakka. I'll go get dinner ready."

Paine nodded and managed to get out of her shoes before walking through the house with Vidina in arm. The trainer found Rikku sipping on a glass of wine in the living room watching TV with Wakka at her side like they had been doing this forever now. It made Paine smile a little. She remembered the first time she had Rikku over her apartment with the guys, how easy she melded into the surroundings and talked nonsense with Nooj and Wakka. Rikku sat there now, with the wine glass brim to her lips, Wakka's bulky frame beside her watching the bright screen intently. They were related now weren't they? Maybe he just reminded her of her real brother.

Wakka was the first to look up and break Paine out of her train of thought. "Aye look at this." He chuckled softly and then stood. "I'll put him down."

Paine nodded and handed the toddler off to its father before plopping onto the couch beside Rikku. "You gonna carry me to bed like that? I'm beat."

Rikku chuckled and leaned forward to steal a sweet kiss. "Aww all pooped huh?"

Paine chuckled. "Yeah. Who knew something so small could produce so much energy."

"You guys played blitz?" She picked up her wine glass. "Here."

Paine sat up and took a small sip. "Taste like…grapes." Rikku had been trying to open her eyes to wine but all Paine really ever tasted was grapes. She did it partly to annoy the blonde and it worked most the time.

"You're hopeless."

Paine smiled softly. "We ran around, yeah." She shimmied out of her jacket and then sighed again. "It's damn cold out there now though."

"You're so good with him." Rikku smiled, Paine really did look exhausted. Never mind that she had the gym and work in the morning.

"You think so?" She asked.

Rikku nodded and rested a hand on her knee, "And you were nervous."

"He's still really small." Paine frowned a little. "Still nervous." This asthma thing worried her, and what could easily be Vidina losing his breath after jumping off a swing was blown out of proportion in her brain. She wanted him to be okay more than she wanted herself to be okay.

"Yeah but I think that's how it is when you love someone. You never stop really being nervous for them when they go out into the world."

Paine nodded and slouched again into the soft sofa. "What were you two watching?"

"Some weird thing on Sphere pools. Wakka was really watching it." Rikku sat back with her wine and took another sip.

Paine smiled. "I dunno babe you looked pretty interested."

"Well being Lil B and all I got make sure the big bro is safe."

Paine remembered then the conversation she had with Kirill that one night over the bottle of rum. "Have you spoken to him lately?"

Rikku frowned. "I called him, he didn't answer. But then again I'm not really too worried, he hardly answers, he usually calls me back."

"And then you hardly answer."

Rikku nodded. "Right, I think it's just the calling part, we know the other person is okay." She took a sip of her drink again and sighed into the comfortable sofa. She had relaxed quite a bit while Paine was out.

"Can he make it for your birthday?"

Rikku shook her head no, Paine could tell she was a little sad about it, but decided to try and talk about something else. "Vidina asked me how much a goat cost today."

Her wife laughed "I think he's the only lil man I'll ever love. You okay with that?"

Paine nodded. "Yeah, we're cool."

Rikku chuckled again at the odd question. Vidina was always asking Paine questions. By now you'd think the Judo fighter would be annoyed when really it was adorable to see them sitting together coloring or something and Paine just answering them as quickly as he could ask. "My lil bookworms."

"Hm?" Paine looked to her.

"You and Viddy."

Dinner was delicious, it always was. The four friends now family all sat at the dining table and laughed and ate. Rikku and Paine liked to come over and eat on Sundays. Sort of like the family meals Paine and Wakka used to have on Crenshaw. It was just a nice reminder to stay grounded. Usually Yuna and even Gippal would come by at times. When Wakka was away at games Lulu made it a point to still have them, it helped Vidina if not anyone else. She wanted him to gain a sense of routine and family, it was important for any youngster, and from her own experience of growing up an only child and having hardly anyone around it was lonely. Vidina has an enormous network of people supporting him, and Lulu wanted him to always be aware of that. That, she would admit to her husband that she liked doing things like this; family things.

The conversation turned from the honeymoon to sports, and then briefly to the trip Home, by the dessert of lemon custard and cream Paine had noticed that Rikku recovered from the slight blow to her mood. She was laughing and smiling along with Wakka as the bulky Besaidain pestered his wife about putting too much lemon.

"Well if he truly wanted it done _right_ he would have done it himself." Lulu countered as she sat down again to eat.

"She likes to tink she's real Besaidian ya?" Wakka joked knowing that the lack of accent in his wife was something she had no control over.

"Just hush and eat." Lulu shook her head.

"Yeah." Rikku joked towards Paine.

Paine raised an eyebrow. "Just because we're married now…"

Wakka laughed as he took his first spoonful of custard. "You think things gonna stay the same?" He put the spoon in his mouth then pointed toward the living room with it after he cleaned it. "You and yuh couch gonna be best friends."

"Speak for yourself." Paine chuckled.

After dessert was finished Wakka made coffees for Paine and Rikku to drive with. Paine stood in the kitchen beside him while Rikku and Lulu went to check on Vidina.

"Lu bought these little to-go cups ya?" Wakka nodded as he showed her the cup and accompanying lid. "I always forgot my thermos in da locker room."

Paine leaned against the counter about ready to pass out she was so full and sleepy. She was glad he was making coffee because any other beverage would not get them home safely. "They come in handy." She yawned into her arm.

He nodded. "Yeah, so for Sunday eh..sometin' tells me we gonna have to run interference."

Paine ran a hand through her hair and nodded. "Lai comes in on Friday or Saturday."

"Tidus on Thursday."

"I think it'll be fine really."

"I'm not worried about them two; I'm worried about Yuna huh?"

"Well it's her cousin and her God son's birthday…she's gonna be about them only."

Wakka nodded. "I like dat about her."

Paine agreed. "Just talk to Tidus, I'm sure things have changed a little but something tells me he's still a dumbass."

Wakka chuckled thinking of his college teammate. "Why do you think they're fightin' so hard?"

Paine shrugged. "Maybe they do love each other."

Wakka shrugged and readied two cups to pour the coffee. He hesitated before bringing up the next subject. "So eh, Lu said she was headin' to the hospital sometime this week…."

Paine had busied herself in the short span of time by looking at a coloring done by Vidina that was tacked onto the fridge beside Wakka's winter training schedule. She glanced at him. "Oh yeah?"

Wakka nodded and capped down the black coffee before moving to add creams and sugars to Rikku's. "Ya."

She dipped her hands into her pockets and nodded. "So they're good then?"

Wakka let out a small laugh. "I wouldn't say good…."

"But she's going."

Wakka nodded and turned to hand Paine her cup. "She keeps sayin' it's for Vid, but I think it's for her too."

Paine took a sip and let the warm liquid rush through her body and awaken her senses. "He deserves grandparents…."

"Dat's what Lu said….but y'know…"

Just then Rikku and Lulu came into the kitchen with leftovers packed and ready to go. Wakka watched as Paine drank more of her coffee before shrugging in his direction.

She was saved by the wives this time, but Wakka really wanted to talk to her about this, simply because Lulu wanted to talk to her about it and didn't know how to go about it. He was their buffer.

"Ready to go?" Paine asked as Wakka handed Rikku her cup.

The blonde nodded before taking a sip and sending Wakka a thankful smile. "Go say bye to Viddy."

"He asleep?"

Lulu nodded. "Still."

Paine nodded and put her cup down before disappearing.

"Did you ask her?" Lulu asked by gently touching Wakka on the back.

Her husband shrugged. "Aye I don't think she has much to say."

"About Paul." Rikku nodded already knowing the situation. "I tried to speak to her about it to and nothing."

Lulu sighed. "She's so stubborn. He could be dead."

"I don't think she sees it that way." Rikku knew very well how her wife thought. She was not going to give three shits about someone who up until four years ago didn't care to know she was alive. That's the way she thought and Rikku supported whatever she decided to do, it was just that she knew it bothered her, it still hurt, and it wasn't going away with all this family stuff being pushed into her life.

"She doesn't ya?"

Just then Paine reappeared to a silent kitchen. She sighed knowing very well what everyone was talking about. She chose to ignore it, like she had been for the past month that he had been in the hospital due to a stroke.

"You ready?" Rikku smiled gently to ease the awkward moment.

"Yeah." Paine nodded towards Wakka and Lulu. "Thanks for the food."

"Anytime."

##

"So I met her."

Chuck looked up from the small water fountain where he was refilling his water bottle. "Who?"

"Her wife."

"The hottie?" He grinned a little at the response it caused on Annie's features.

Annie watched Paine speaking to Leon at a distance. "She's pretty…in an _I bought my looks_ type of way."

"How do you know this was her?" The two trainers began walking over to the main floor where a few clients were just wrapping up on their sessions. "The Floor" as the trainers liked to call it was a wide open space similar to a dance studio but a bit grander in scale, it took up nearly the entire fourth floor of the Bridge Port building and had large wall length windows that wrapped around three fourths of the walling. The area was set up into different sections of workout equipment; there was also a small workout studio in the corner and then a lengthy hall that led to the front desk area and eventually to Leon and Paine's offices, and the staff room.

It was around four in the evening and though depending on your clients your work hours varied during the winter time things usually slowed down and you were left with two types of clients. The die hard gym freak, and the grossly overweight binge eater. Holiday time having passed the latter was back at it to rid the guilt weight.

During the winter season the floor closed around five and Paine stayed an extra half hour to an hour depending upon the bullshit paper work she had to do.

"I'll put an order in." Leon said as he made a note of the low stock of sweat towels

"Can you do a basic check for anything else we may be low on; Gloria down on the first floor has been taking the water bottles."

He nodded. "Yeah sure thing."

Paine lifted the thick clip board she was holding. "I'll be in my office."

Leon chuckled. "Take it easy."

Paine turned from their conversation and noticed Chuck and Annie chatting amongst themselves. She could care less, but it looked bad when they still had people working out. She walked over to the two and whatever conversation that was going on stopped.

"You guys done for the day?"

Annie nodded and smiled gently. "Yes ma'am."

"Yeah." Chuck motioned to one of the people still working out. "Bib here just has five more minutes on the cardio and then he's all good to go."

"Maybe you should tell him that, he looks like he's about to die on us." Paine motioned to Chuck's client.

Annie smirked at the underhanded comment about Chuck's training techniques. "So…" She began once her co-worker walked off with his tail between his legs. "She seems nice."

Paine glanced at Annie. "Who?"

"Your wife."

Paine nodded remembering the exchange late last week. "She is."

"Are you bringing her to the company winter get together? Or will you be out of town again?" Last year Rikku and Paine spent Rikku's birthday in Bikanel. Now that there was no reason to visit, or at least not one that she could think of Paine shrugged.

"Maybe, January's busy for us."

"Ah but you're our Senior Trainer! You have to go."

Paine chuckled. "Maybe."

Glad to see some sort of response from Paine Annie smiled back. "We all pretty much missed you around here. When you were gone for that week, y'know?"

Paine looked from her survey of The Floor to Annie then back again. Was she flirting with her? Still? No doubt she was an attractive girl; 23, dark hair, plump lips…but she wasn't Paine's type at all, and then even after finding out she was married she still flirted? Paine wasn't sure what that said, but she knew it wasn't good. She knew bad news when she saw it, hell for the longest time she was bad news. Taking a moment to think of the right thing to say the Senior Trainer opted for the easy out by motioning to her clip pad. "Yeah, well look I have to get this paper work done, if you need me I'm in my office."

Annie frowned but was quick to hide it. "You got it boss." She watched Paine walk away and sighed to herself. She was just so damn hard to read sometimes!

Half an hour into the remainder of the day Paine's office phone went off. With a quick glance at the number she furrowed her brows then glanced at the time.

"Kerrigan."

"Yes, I as well."

"Hello?"

"Are you aware that we meant to meet today, coffee, Beanie-Baby." There was the steady hum of the city in the background, and polished accent took full attention though.

Her mother

"Fuck that was today?" Paine sighed and glanced at the time again.

Keira smiled and shook her head. "Am I to leave?" She was standing outside the coffee shop in the city where they had their first encounter years before.

"I forgot."

"You sound tense." She read in her daughter's voice as she stepped into the tiny coffee shop to get herself a cup before heading back to work for another late nighter. She was rather looking forward to this meeting seeing as how she hadn't heard from her at all since the wedding. It was like Paine to just disappear sometimes though. She just wanted to see how married life suited her.

"I just have a lot of shit to do here." Paine glanced at the annual report that sat on her desk that wasn't even anywhere near finished. "End of the year stuff, they wanna see how profitable some projects are….Are you leaving?"

"Sounds important. Let's reschedule then. I have some things I need to speak with you about."

"Paul?" Everyone wanted to speak to her about Paul.

"No." Keira replied simply as she waited in line. "Although if that's something you wish to speak about we may..."

Paine sighed. "I promised Rikku I would." It's really the only reason she was doing it and she wasn't ashamed to admit it.

"How does tomorrow sound then?"

"What did you want to talk about?" Tomorrow afternoon she planned on sitting in on a meeting at the YMCA not too far from work. She was stressed, she knew herself well enough to know why. "How about Wednesday?"

"Is it a crime for me to wonder how you are doing?" The line in front of her moved along slowly.

"Wednesday?"

"Yes, but you have to bring the coffee to me. I have rehearsals all day."

"That's fine."

"Alright, how is Rikku?"

"Ah well, her grandmother passed away."

Keira frowned. "That's horrible."

"Yeah so, oh and her twenty fifth birthday is coming up."

"She's a wreck then."

"Yeah a little, but she's strong." Paine looked at the picture on her desk.

"Hm, well I don't have to say anything then do I, since you two are married now you have everything under control….Yes I'd like a small black coffee. Thank you."

Paine sat back in her chair and thought for a moment. "I think so…" Just then the line beeped. Paine leaned forward to check the number. "She's calling me now. Wednesday?"

"Wednesday."

Paine switched to the other line. "Hey Princess."

A familiar chuckle was heard on the other line. "Princess? Oh Junior is never gonna hear the end of this!" In all her years of knowing the couple "Princess" was probably one of those pet names heavily guarded from her by Rikku, well the cat was out of the bag now.

"Lucil, hey." Paine was aware at what she had just done, but was more concerned with why Lucil had Rikku's cell. "Is everything okay?"

"Rikku left her phone here at the office. Wanna meet up?"

Paine glanced at the time again. "Yeah, she headed home?"

"I'm guessing so, she didn't say…doesn't she usually come home?"

"Usually." Paine joked.

Lucil smirked. "Anyway I'm a very busy woman Paine Kerrigan."

"We'll meet half way."

"Perfection."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Paine hung up and dialed her house phone number, when she got no reply she began to gather her things and stuff the annual report in the bottom largest drawer of her desk until tomorrow.

##

Rikku began to shuffle the large prints back into the tube as she heard the front door open.

"Rikks!?"

The blonde kicked the gray blueprint tube under their bed and quickly stuffed all the legal paper work down there with it then jumped to her feet just in time for Paine to enter the bedroom with a curious look on her face. "Hey Pypo your home."

Paine stood there for a moment. Something seemed off about her wife. The blonde was just standing in their room, nothing was disturbed to make it seem like she had been busy with something and hadn't heard her call. "Hey…"

Rikku tilted her head and smiled that Bayla smile that got her whatever she wanted. Paine raised a brow. "No kiss?"

Paine took a step forward and leaned down a little to meet her lips in a short kiss. Rikku remained close. "You left your phone at the office…."

She had, but Rikku already knew that. You see years of dating and living with Paine had taught her a lot about her new bride. Paine was very ritual in the things that she did, she liked a routine and a schedule and if disturbed from that the smoky haired woman felt just a little off balance. Rikku had noticed in the small time back from their honeymoon and Home Paine was coming home way earlier than usual. She knew it was because she were worried and wanted to be there in case she felt the need to talk. Rikku loved her for it, but it also made planning Paine's wedding gift super difficult with all their togetherness and new projects at work to keep her busy. So today she left her phone with Lucil and told her to meet Paine far enough away from work so she'd have to take two trains back.

Paine backed up a little and went into her pocket.

Rikku smiled at the white cell phone being offered to her. "Oh." She feigned a look of surprise coupled with the right amount of relief. "I was looking for it like crazy…" She took the phone and watched as Paine took off her jacket and scarf.

"Is that what you were doing in here?" She asked giving her wife a look again. Something was up, but a part of Paine wondered if she really should even care. Rikku was always up to something.

Rikku continued to smile. "Huh? Oh yeah I thought I left it before work or maybe…" She trailed off. "How was work?"

A sighed escaped Paine's lips and that's how Rikku knew she was off the hook. "Fucking paper work….I missed lunch with Keira."

Rikku took a seat on the bed as she watched Paine search for something comfortable to shower and change into ."Oh Pypo what about the tickets?"

Picking up a deep green v-neck Paine nodded, "I know I know, I'm gonna see her on Wednesday." Something made her crack a little smirk as she continued to get some shorts out. "Whatever happened to cultivating a meaningful relationship with her?"

Rikku smiled and leaned back on her palms. "Well I mean if that meaning just happens to get me and Yunie front row seats to the winter production every year well then I think you are still doing the right thing,"

"You're so shallow." She closed her dresser drawer and laughed at the look Rikku was giving her.

"I am not! Fryd geht uv drehk ec dryd du cyo?"

"You are babe, its okay though."

"Paine."

"Rikku."

"Pypo."

"Princess…" She walked over to the bed and smirked again. "Oh so Lucil knows about that now."

The color in Rikku's face drained. "What?"

"She called me from your cell and I thought it was you so I called you Princess…."

"Why would you do that!"

Paine took a step back. "Because you're a Princess!"

"Yeah but Paine there are certain things—"

"It's not that big a deal."

"It's not professional!"

"She was one of your bridesmaids!"

"So!?"

"Are we fightin about this!?"

Rikku jumped up from the bed then and stormed out of the room. Paine just stood there for a second wondering how in the hell their play fighting turned into a fully fledged argument. With a little shrug and she showered and changed into something comfortable. When she got back to the room Rikku was in the process of laying out dresses on their made up bed. Paine dried at her hair lazily with a smaller towel and watched. "So you're going out tonight because I called you Princess?"

Rikku stopped what she was doing and looked over her shoulder. "Maybe."

Paine rolled her eyes and moved to leave the room. "Alright then have fun."

Rikku turned and grabbed Paine's wrist gently and pulled her closer. "C'mon you think I'm THAT shallow?"

"Are we fighting still?" Paine asked with a little smirk on her face. Rikku loved when she smirked like that, it was so sexy.

"No, it's just now I have to be teased at work."

"You're twenty four, the only person that should be teasing you…."

Rikku chuckled. "Hm, let me guess, you?"

Paine finally placed a hand on her hip. "Yeah."

Rikku rubbed Paine's toned arms as the Judo fighters other hand came to sat on her waist; a few fingers slyly already sitting under the hem of her shirt. Rikku found herself unable to withhold her chuckle. "What are you waiting for?" She whispered when she noticed Paine's very eager but very hesitant look.

Paine shrugged. "You."

"Okay well I have to pick a dress for—" Paine had kissed her quiet. "Hey!"

The taller woman laughed and held her closer. "Where are you going?" She asked quietly.

"Nowhere gosh." She whispered back finding Paine's needy questioning adorable. "But we are."

Paine frowned. "Where are _we_ going?"

"I have a business dinner coming up an—" Paine released her arms from around her but Rikku kept her still. "An hour tops! People are starting to wonder if I made you up and just took a week off for no reason!" The blonde pleaded.

"I'm okay with that."

Rikku rolled her eyes. "Well I'm not, baby how come it's like this every time I have a thing? Why can't you just support me?"

Paine shook her head. "This isn't about support." She began to walk away.

"What is it then?" Rikku furrowed her brows as Paine left the room. "What!?" She called after her when Paine said something that couldn't be heard.

Paine went into the kitchen to get something to drink. There were many reasons why Paine didn't like to go to these things with Rikku, but the main was because Paine was not a fan of her sleazy boss William, but she decided to keep that bit to herself. "You like your job right?" She reached for a cup out of the cabinet and then sighed when she closed it and Rikku was standing right there. "You're good at it."

"Where is this going?"

"I don't know shit about anything, so I go and look like a total ass talking with all these big wigs or Gip and I go and get drinks downtown or chill at the house…" It was good enough excuse for now. Rikku didn't exactly know about her dislike for her boss and she'd rather not seem like the jealous spouse.

"You'd really want to spend more time with Gippal than me."

Paine remained quiet for a minute as if she was weighing her response. It wasn't like this would stop her from getting any. Sex had come to an understanding yet abrupt stop, and maybe if she were honest she really wouldn't have to go….

"Yes."

"So why didn't you marry him then!" Rikku yelled truly annoyed with her now.

Paine sighed and put her glass down on the counter and gave Rikku a serious look. "I'm gay." The blonde just stared at her trying to decide if domestic abuse was really the route she wanted to go down. Finally when she realized she still loved her wife she growled and stomped off mumbling things in Al Bhed before reaching the bedroom again.

##

"Paine!"

Paine put her gym bag down from having just returned from a cardio workout. It was around 6 in the morning and judging by the lights on in the kitchen Rikku was up and about getting ready for the day ahead of her.

Paine peeled off her workout thermal and kicked out of her shoes before fixing them beside Rikku's boots. She was about to respond to the greeting when Rikku appeared in the living room wearing only Paine's old college hoody and socks, the young architect was holding two very wrinkled blouses; one white and one light blue.

She hadn't exactly apologized for being a dick about the whole business dinner thing last night, and Rikku had fallen asleep way before she had so this was their first conversation since the little tat. Paine cleared her throat; she hadn't said a word since she woke up and knew it would be raspy. "Hey baby."

Rikku looked sleepy still, but she smiled and watched for a moment as Paine tossed her thermal onto her workout bag on the floor. She was wearing long black baggy pants and her form fitting workout top. "How was it?" She asked.

Paine nodded. Rikku always asked how her workouts were, she wasn't sure if she were really expecting an in depth answer. "Good."

"Good." The blonde approached her and they shared a little kiss. "You're cold."

"It snowed last night."

"Are you taking the train today?" Her wife nodded. "Okay well I'm not ready yet."

Paine was about to make a joke about not being surprised but she just nodded. "You still pissed at me?" She asked as she moved into the kitchen to pour herself some cereal. She would eat, shower, change, and then wait till Rikku was done doing the same routine.

The Al Bhed shrugged. "A little."

Paine reached for a bowl and began to pour the dry oat squares into it before glancing up at Rikku then back to what she was doing. "I'll go."

"You're just saying that so I won't be mad at you."

Paine closed the box up and rested it on the counter before going into the fridge for the box of whole milk. "I don't want you to think I don't support you."

"Then?"

She shrugged again and put the milk back into the fridge before getting a spoon out. "You work with tools."

"Luce? Cause that's the only person I work with Paine." She sighed

Paine shook her head. "Not Lucil, Look babe I'm going okay?"

"Tuh'd ibcad sa eh dra sunhehk." Rikku had woken up in a good mood.

"I'm trying not to." Paine admitted. "I'm going, that's what you wanted right, me to go, I'm going."

"You're missing the point."

"You want me to want to go, no I got the point, but when have you ever known me to want to sit through some boring dinner?" Paine picked up her spoon and took a bite of the cereal and waited. My Yevon she was so in love with the woman in front of her, but today was starting out like one of those days.

Rikku just shook her head and held up the two shirts again. "Iron one of these for me please?"

Rikku Bayla didn't iron. She could steam dresses like a pro, but when it came to these things she'd rather just take them to the cleaners and let that be that. Paine on the other hand had never even stepped into a professional cleaners until she started dating Rikku.

Paine motioned for her to rest them on the back of the couch meaning that she'd get to it after she ate.

##

Cid smiled when he opened the front door. She had a key why did she insist on ringing the bell "What a surprise."

Rikku smiled up at her father and pushed her way into the familiar house to get out of the cold. "Pop I called you."

Cid shrugged and closed the door behind him. For a moment he just examined his youngest child. She still remained the same height as when he last saw her, and she wasn't thinner, nor wider. He supposed theses were both good things. Rikku was busy taking off her coat to notice the fatherly gaze.

"Well still, can't a guy be surprised?" Cid asked. He had received a call from Rikku earlier in the week. She wanted him to come see the place that she planned on renovating for Paine. Rikku also wanted to make sure he was doing okay, but she didn't tell him that outright. Leblanc had to leave for a day on business leaving him to his thoughts and this huge empty house. Rikku took a moment to let the memories assert themselves to the front of her mind. Most good, yet some still bad. She smiled though still, it smelt the way it always did, that in itself was comforting enough. Rikku took off her leather gloves and then adjusted her wedding ring. She needed to remind herself to buy a slightly bigger pair to fit the ring now.

Married people problems

"Pop you're a Pop, not a guy." Rikku informed after taking off her scarf.

Cid chuckled. "How long do you have?" It was Rikku's lunch break after all.

"An hour and a half."

"So let's get started on some of that paperwork, I ordered food, and then when we are done we can go take a look."

Rikku nodded happily and followed her father into the familiar kitchen. She placed her work bag down on the seat of the breakfast nook and looked about before making a B line for the now smaller glass jelly bean container in the corner near the toast. She didn't like that it was moved, but it was still here so she supposed she wouldn't make a comment about Leblanc running her father's life.

"Milan I haven't…" He watched her take a healthy hand full and then sighed. "I haven't changed those, they're probably stale."

Rikku waved him off with a little smile. "They're just a little crunchier." She said with a mouthful of colorful candy.

Cid made a face before shaking his head at her. "Have you spoken to your brother?"

Rikku reminded herself that she had a timeline and stepped away from the candy. "Uhuh."

"Well then?" Cid crossed his arms.

"He's sad." Rikku nodded as she went over to her bag to pull out some documents. "I told him to come visit but he has training so it's not like he can."

Cid nodded slowly. Though things were a lot better, he and his son were never really on the same wavelength like the two siblings were. If anything he expected Rikku to be the one to actually get a hold of him, and when she had he knew she'd be able to gage where he was with grieving. "How are you?"

Rikku had been busying herself with organizing housing permits and such that the question took her off guard. "Me?" Cid nodded. She didn't know why she wasn't expecting her father of all people to ask how she was doing but she just wasn't. With a careful painters hand Rikku delicately pulled out another set of papers that needed a licensed lawyer's signature. "I guess I'm trying to stay busy…"

Cid nodded in understanding. Losing his father was a little less taxing than this. He didn't know why, but it just was, even when everything got to be too much she was always there with helpful advice and open arms. He would admit to feeling sad as well. He was getting old and the uncertainty life was something he thought a lot about.

Cid moved to the breakfast nook and took a seat. "Yuna?" He had seen his niece very briefly late last week when she came to pick up Kimahri, but it was late and she had little to say.

Rikku sighed and finally sat down across from him. "She's keeping busy too."

Cid scratched the small amount of dark stubble on his chin. "How is Paine?" He had been in to visit his old friend Paul at the beginning of the month with Braska before the wedding and had been meaning to ask how she was but after the festivities when things calmed down. Things just never calmed down.

Rikku let out a little puff of air that Cid caught.

"Troubles?" Already? Was what he really wanted to say, but something told him not to.

"Well she's Paine."

"Should I be concerned?"

"No." Rikku looked off in her own thoughts on her wife. It was around lunch time for Paine as well, but she got no little text about something Paine thought was funny at work, no call, maybe she was just busy. Rikku shook her head; she wondered how it would feel to be in a relationship with herself. Here she was being needy, when just last night she curled up and fell asleep without saying anything to Paine. She didn't know why she had gotten so upset over the whole business dinner thing, there were plenty of things Paine hated doing that she freely voiced her opinion on hating, usually it hadn't bothered her this much. Maybe something else was wrong, maybe nothing else was wrong, maybe she was getting her period, maybe she just wasn't over Home.

##

Paine shifted into first gear and glided the two door into position before looking to her right into the cup holder between her and her passenger for her wallet. "What do you want?"

Big Mack strained to read the large colorful menu two cars away. "Mmm.."

"Kids meal?" The older woman jested as she opened the fancy leather and fished out a twenty.

Mackenzie rolled her eyes with a little snort. "They don't have any cool toys today, and I'm too big for those now."

Paine shook her head. "Notice how no cool toy came first." It was around 2pm and Paine had picked up Mackenzie from afterschool tutoring for math and decided to get her lunch because she knew the little girl felt embarrassed about getting the comped lunch meals for the lesser income families at the private school she got into. Getting her a scholarship into the science program was well worth it, Joyce agreed, but being one of the only inner city black kids to go to this school sure made things difficult.

Paine took her foot off the breaks and idled up a few feet once the car in front of them placed their order. "When's your mom coming home tonight?" Paine asked the younger girl.

Big Mack sat back in her seat once she was able to decide what she wanted. "Six."

Paine nodded. "What are you gonna do till then?"

"Jade said she'd come over, her Momma said it was cool."

Paine drove up to the ordering window at a Mc Ronalds fast food restaurant.

"Welcome to Mc Ronalds, one moment please."

"Yup." Paine replied before looking at Mackenzie. "What's she been up to?"

"She and Randy started dating."

"You don't need to date anyone, you're thirteen" Paine averted quickly.

"When did you and Rikku start dating?" Telling Big Mack that she was gay, and that Rikku wasn't just her best friend but her girlfriend was probably the hardest conversation she had to have with another human being. Mainly because she was so freaked out about what would happen. She had stressed over it for so long wondering if the little girl would no longer want to know her, wondering if she even cared. When the time finally came Mackenzie just smiled her dimpled smile and said that her Momma explained it to her already. After that was cleared the little girl asked freely the things she wasn't sure would upset Paine or not.

"When I was twenty one."

Mackenzie's eyes got wide. "That's gonna be in forever!"

"Why do you want to date right now anyway?"

"Well…Randy's nice."

Paine chuckled. "And?"

"He brings Jade stuff all the time." She reasoned. "And they text at night and stuff…I guess that'd be nice too."

Paine sighed. "Look guys…they want one thing."

Mackenzie sighed dramatically. "I knowwww." She was tired of getting this talk. Was there something special about being thirteen? Everyone just felt like now was the time where they could talk to her about awkward stuff like it was nothing.

"Okay so—"

"What about girls?"

The car was quiet.

"What?" Paine asked carefully.

Mackenzie shrugged. "Everyone always talks about guys being bad."

"Cause they are."

"Well girls can be too."

She had a point.

Paine shook her head. "You're not allowed to date anyone, guys or girls." She turned toward the window and wished that this lady would hurry up and take their orders.

"Who says!?"

"I did."

Mackenzie huffed loudly and Paine just ignored it.

"May I help you?" Came the woman over the intercom.

Paine leaned forward and glanced over the menu really quickly to make sure she was going to get what she wanted. "Yeah, can I have the fish sandwich and…value onion rings, and a coke." She watched as her order came up before turned to Big Mack who leaned as far over as she could, grinning all the while.

"Can I have a boyfriend!?"

Paine pushed her back into her seat playfully. "Get outta here."

"Excuse me?" The woman asked, it was clear she was confused by the new voice and the new request.

Paine leaned out the window to try and talk over the fit of giggles coming from the passenger seat. "Yeah, and a kids meal."

##

"I'm sterile!"

Yuna checked the number of the person who was calling her just to make sure it was who she thought it was, though she'd know this freaked out voice anywhere.

"Rikku?"

Rikku was on her way driving back to work from seeing the little home in South Little Besaid with her father. Cid had taken his own car so they parted ways there. "Yunie I'm sterile."

"You're really going to have to give me a little more than that." Yuna sat down at her cluttered work bench at the small studio office space she and Lulu rented together. Things were really starting to pick up but it was calls like these that kept her grounded.

"Pops was saying that…hold on…"

Yuna waited as she heard Rikku curse under her breath in Al Bhed and then a nearby car horn. "Are you driving?"

"Yunie what if it's true?" Rikku felt like she didn't know what to do with herself. How could her father just drop news on her like this and then hug her and say goodbye?

"What if what's true!?" Yuna laughed a little at how crazy her cousin was sometimes. She sounded well, just panicked.

"Pops said they had to try a whole bunch of times to have me and Brother, and then after they found out that it was like a hereditary thing…."

Yuna sighed. "Rikku you're not sterile."

"How do you know though, it makes sense right? I turn out to be gay to combat biology."

"Rikku you're being ridiculous."

Rikku sighed to herself, maybe she was, but it still didn't stop her from wanting to cry. "I mean..whatever right?..."

"Are you on your period?"

The blonde sniffled. "Yeah…." It was confirmed this morning.

"Okay well stop—"

"Being on my period?"

Yuna shook her head and tried not to laugh. "No, stop freaking out over nothing. What happened?"

"Pops said—"

"No not with Uncle Cid."

"Paine and I had a stupid fight and I'm getting older, and this house is perfect and I don't even know how Pops and I started talking about it but he said this that he wondered when Kirill would ever have kids or if he could, so I'm like Pops wha? What do you mean if he can, then he goes into a story about how my Ma's family had problems with fertility and how they …whatever you know? I was fine until I got into the car; I was fine till I thought of the extra room and…am I freaking out? I mean my wife won't even go with me to some dinner thing that I don't even want to go to and I'm turning twenty five Yunie…WHEN did this happen?"

Yuna was laughing, a good honest laugh. One that she would admit to not being able to have in a little while. "Twenty five years ago your mother had you…because she got pregnant…sterile or not it happened."

"Yunie but just—"

"I think there is a bigger issue here, but if you must know, not that it matters right now but look into going to get a check up."

The line was quiet.

Why hadn't she thought of that?

Oh yeah, because she found out ten minutes ago that she might not ever be able to have kids.

"Yunie you got all the brains in this family."

Yuna shook her head with a laugh but then sighed. "Why did you and Paine fight?"

A now calmer version of herself, Rikku still felt a little uneasy about the confusing prospect of maybe possibly not being able to have all she wanted. A sinking fell over her that she decided she was going to blame on the hormones. "We.. Haven't y'know…done…it. In a while and Paine's…she's just…stressed out over things, then there is me trying to work through knyhtsy…" It still felt hard to talk about her like she wasn't here anymore. "And I guess her daddy issues…I haven't been me lately and that throws her off, I know it does."

"Well it's not your fault."

"I know, I know, but…" Rikku sighed heavily. "We just got married Yunie."

Yuna sat back in her comfy chair, it was probably the single most expense thing about their work space, she spent a lot of time on this chair, it had to be just right. "I wouldn't even begin to know what to say to you on that."

"I just want to feel normal again…."

"You will."

"How?"

Yuna paused to think. "Well do things you and Paine would normally do as a couple."

Rikku let that thought overlap all others while she went back to work.

##

_**Am I wrong or are you wrong? I can't remember.**_

Paine smiled a little at the text from her wife. She had tried not to think about Rikku and their fight, knowing that it would only make her less productive and more prone to moping internally. She had a laundry list of things to do today yet still she'd find herself wondering how exactly to say sorry for not just being there and being supportive. Didn't matter who she liked or didn't like where Rikku worked, her wife was brilliant, and she wanted to show her off as such.

_**Should we agree to agree on agreeing that we were both a little wrong?**_

The little play on words made Rikku chuckle and text back quickly.

_**You can just call me Mrs. Agreeable from now on :)**_

Paine smiled and leaned back in her desk chair. She was still working on the annual report but had made a decent dent; she deserved a little texting with her girl before she had to leave to go meet her mother.

_**I like Mrs. Kerrigan better.**_

_**Me too….I feel crazy pypo.**_

_**What do you mean?"**_

_**I don't know. I just need the weekend.**_

It was true, she was exhausted and just in need of some TLC from her favorite smoky haired lady friend. Why did being grown up have to be so difficult?

_**You think too much**_

_**You work too hard**_

_**I guess we could both use a break…**_

_**Another honeymoon!? :D**_

Paine actually chuckled at that. Hell it wasn't a bad idea if she were honest, but there was no way she…they, because they were a real they now, there was no way they could afford it.

_**As soon as it gets warm baby**_

_**:) I like warm, warm sounds nice**_

_**Oh yeah? Warm…**_

Rikku laughed as she gathered her things from her desk. She was done for the day and couldn't wait to get home.

_**You're such a dork, omw home**_

_**Gonna finish up here then head to see Keira. Home by 9ish**_

Rikku sent her a smiley face and then gathered her bags and began to turn off the lights. Lucil had left earlier and worked through lunch so there was no one to walk down the hall and joke with. The blonde hiked her blue print tube onto her back and headed downstairs to the well lit parking garage to head home. On the way home she thought about what her father had said in passing. Since it was in passing it couldn't be really that factual right? Surely somewhere along the bumpy road of aging up she'd learn that she couldn't have kids if she truly couldn't. Rikku tried to pretend to not worry as much as she really did as she turned onto her street. She jumped a lot; she jumped from one thing to another so quickly that at times it made it really hard to properly heal, or think for that matter. Wanting babies was so far away, she knew it, but still it wouldn't hurt to check right? Just to prove that her father was in fact wrong, like he was about everything.

With a little sigh Rikku knew she couldn't tell Paine about her theory, who knew where that would send her wife's mind. No, in the present they were here, trying to be the best that they could be, together. They were married now and it felt so right, well it always had with Paine. Now it was about letting everything else just fall into place.

Taking a soothing breath and parking in her spot the blonde braced herself for the winter cold before quickly jumping out of the car and grabbing her bags. She hurried up the stairs because she was no Paine Kerrigan and would not be caught dead up at four something heading to the gym.

The apartment was cold and dark, as it usually was when she got home and Paine hadn't arrived first. The blonde set her bags down and turned on the lights and even the television for a little background noise while she set about making dinner.

##

The rush of wind against his face fluttered his tie against chin. It felt good until he remembered why exactly he had closed his eyes to feel it in the first place.

Braska opened his eyes and licked his lips carefully to combat the icy winds of the evening from drying them. He liked to come here to think, whenever there was a case too tricky, a life situation too hard to focus on in the tall building, when his office was too big, when his coffee too warm. Braska Shaw found solace in the emergency exit on the 31st floor of the building where he and his brother in law own five floors.

Taking on this responsibility had cost a lot of free time, but he took it without thinking of that. Not many would realize the family man he had always been, or rather, the one he had always hoped to be. A quiet sacrifice for the greater good was always something he believed in. It's what made these last four years okay, it's what made sense. His family needed him then, and they did now. It was never a matter of if he would do it.

But what happens now?

The date had been set, Jenkins had been fired, and with every passing second Auron Guarrd was that much closer to becoming a free man.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

Keira hurried to clear the empty coffee cups and makeup that consumed her vanity mirror. "I've just been so busy." She mumbled to herself probably realizing for the first time since starting the new production that everything outside of the stage (which included her dressing room apparently) had gone to chaos.

Paine stood in the doorway and waited. The dressing room was a lot larger than the one she started out with. Now, there was decent sized loveseat that was sea foam green. The vanity mirror lights provided the majority of the light in the room, and also made it a tad more humid as well. Paine looked around for a moment, a weird feeling she associated with getting called "cute" fell over her when she noticed her baby picture stuck in a corner crease of the mirror. She had been learning a lot from her mother, there were times when Paine still wondered what her life would be like if Keira had raised her. Most likely full of travel, theater, music, maybe she'd be lonely? Maybe. Anyway these thoughts occurred less and less for the Judo fighter, and it was with that that Paine realized their relationship was moving forward in a positive way.

She still found her weird….but then again so was she.

The rest of the room was typical, at least from Paine's sparse understanding of theatre. The walls were painted a maroon with some chipping here and there. "Kerrigan" was on the door with a star, dark wood furniture stained with costume paint and whatever else. There was a pillow on the couch, books in piles. It wasn't messy, not really, but it was roomy, and it made her want to take off her shoes before she stepped any further.

"Sit sit." Keira motioned to the couch.

"I got you coffee."

The eldest Kerrigan smiled. "I can see that. Nothing for you?" Paine handed over the hot coffee cup before taking a seat.

She shook her head. "I won't sleep."

Keira nodded in agreement and took a small sip from the cup before putting it down on the vanity and sitting on the vanity stool to face Paine.

Paine raised a brow slightly when it became quiet.

The little gesture made Keira laugh lightly. "You'll have to excuse me; I'm just trying to see if you seem different. They say a person seems different when they joined to another."

"Do I?"

"Your hair seems longer."

Paine put a hand to the back of her head. "I know."

Keira reached for her cup. "Well? How was The Calm Lands? Rikku, how is she?"

Paine leaned forward and clasped her hands then separated them and glanced at her wedding band. It was still new seeing it every day. "Well y'know she lost her grandma right after."

"You went to Home?" Paine nodded. Keira sat back a little to think. "How was that for you?" They had touched briefly on how Paine dealt with death in the past, so Keira had a little understanding on how it brought up unwanted feelings for her.

"Rikks like.."Paine opened out her palm remembering how heavy, yet how light the ash felt there. "She shared…like her grandmother…I don't know it was…"Paine shrugged.

Keira smiled softly, whatever had happened had obviously touched her. "Well then you picked the right one."

Paine nodded. "Yeah but…she's kinda goin' through it now."

'Twenty Five." She nodded as if she remembered it well. "Interesting age."

Paine pointed to herself. "I'm almost twenty six and nothing interesting happened."

"No?" Keira took another sip of her coffee. "You have to have doubted the path you are going down at least twice, really considered running away….changed things about yourself…look, you got married too."

Paine thought about it. Yeah twenty five was no easy thing. She and Rikku had that huge fight that they almost broke up over, she got married. Yeah she doubted things, worried about the future. Was it all worth it? Why weren't things happening fast enough? The insecurity of real adulthood had hit her that one month her check didn't get transferred. She hadn't told Rikku, but she could remember lying awake wondering how the hell she'd keep the heat on. "I guess…" Maybe Rikku just needed some reassurance that things were going to be alright. "Anyway she wanted me to talk to you."

"You don't want to talk to me?"

"Not about Paul…."

Keira nodded slowly and got up from her seat, with coffee in hand she went over to the opposite corner of the room and looked for something. "I was planning to stop by…."

Paine watched her for a moment not really knowing how to respond to that. "You know Ellen will probably be there, right?"

Keira nodded. "Well I would assume so." She found what she was looking for; a pink scrunchie to tie her hair up. Paine watched her create a neat bun out of her long smoky hair before sitting back down across from her. "Lulu may go."

"Lulu has a kid, and she's his daugh—" Paine stopped herself and sighed when Keira gave her the eyebrow raise. "She has a kid." Paine went back to her original argument.

"No one is forcing you, Paine Amelia. I'm guessing Rikku wanted you to talk to me because you won't talk to her."

It was true, she had been rather tight lipped about feeling anything at all when they heard that Paul had checked into the emergency room after a stroke. To be honest she didn't know what to feel. When exactly did she have time between preparations for getting married and work, and training, and then coaching Mackenzie? Bottom line was this, he still left, she got that people made mistakes, it's what helped her healing with Keira, but this wasn't just spilled milk, he lived in the same damn city as she did, and knew information about her, yet still was too what? Too scared? Paine didn't even know what the situation was. He claimed to have been young, well she was around that age now and never in a million years would she stop being there for Big Mack, Rikku could say whatever she wanted, it just wasn't how Paine was programmed. Then there was cheating on his wife. Now Paine hadn't been married for too long, but she would never, no matter how rough things got. She stood up there and made probably the most important promise of her life to Rikku, A promise so big that if she went back on it Paine would really begin to wonder if she was who she thought she was all these years.

They were just different people.

On her way home she hadn't realized how tightly she was gripping the steering wheel of her car until she had to shift gears and felt the blood rush back to her digits. Paine sighed at herself and focused on the city around her. Since it were winter the skies had been dark at five when she left work. It was now around a half passed eight and the lights from the cars around her and the tall building of downtown reflected off of the randomly plowed hills of snow on the sidewalks.

She sighed at the traffic before her and pulled her cell phone up to her ear and waited.

"Helloooo?"

"Hey it's me."

"I know it's you, why do you always do that?"

She shrugged. "There's traffic but I'm still out here so you want me to get something for dinner?

"No, I made food."

"What kind?"

"The kind you're eating."

Paine chuckled to herself. "Alright well I'm on my way." They hung up and Paine groaned when she realized the light was still red. It would be a long drive home, just her and her thoughts.

She eventually did get home, tired, and emotionally drained from talking with her mother. She opened the front door to her apartment and was instantly hit with the pungent aroma of oregano and butter. Rikku looked up from the tomatoes she was cutting and smiled softly before going back to what she was doing. "Wifey, look I cooked, aren't I amazing?" She popped a piece of tomato in her mouth before looking up again.

"Let's see if it's edible first, then we'll talk." Paine joked as she got rid of her layers. In all honesty her mouth had been watering once she got out of the elevator and could smell the herb and cheesy potato mixture. It was loaded with butter and this cheese Rikku usually bought from an Al Bhed market down the street. The dish itself was so indulgent and unhealthy that Rikku always made a huge salad to go with it.

Paine rounded the corner of the counter after taking off her shoes next. She placed a chaste kiss on Rikku's cheek as she worked on cutting tomatoes and then went to grab a spoon and taste test.

"You know what I'm going to invent?" Rikku asked after setting aside the cut tomatoes and reaching for the artichoke hearts.

Paine already had a mouth full of food. "Mmm." It was illegal how good this was. It was then that Paine knew that she would sleep good tonight with a full stomach and some well needed make up cuddling from her wife.

Rikku turned to see Paine reach for another spoonful of the thick mixture. "Hey!" She came over to where Paine was standing near the warm stove and closed the lid of the deep skillet. "You have to wait till everything is done, Pypo."

Paine motioned to the pot. "That's not fucking done yet?"

"No, it's supposed to simmer, let it simmer."

Paine sighed heavily and made a show of tossing her spoon in the empty sink. Rikku only laughed. "Lip warmers." Then remembered what she was talking about before.

Paine was pulling out silverware for them to eat with. "What?"

"That's what I'm going to invent."

"Do I wanna ask why?" Paine shook her head. "Nah."

"Cause you come home and your lips are always so cold. I love our kisses but Pypo really."

Paine chuckled and came behind Rikku and put her arms around her wife's waist. The closeness causing the blonde to hold her breath at first then exhale slowly. "So you mean to tell me…Rikku Milan Bayla-Kerrigan, that you don't want any more kisses from me."

Rikku shrugged gently. "Well not exactly that—"

Paine hugged her a little closer. "I think that's what you're saying."

Rikku chuckled a little and leaned back into her. "You're such a bully."

Paine ducked her head to the left side of Rikku's head so she could place a little kiss near her ear. "I'm not a bully." She murmured. "I'm just….holding my wife, can I do that? Is that okay?"

Rikku smiled at the playful nature behind her mock serious voice. "Now that depends."

Paine pressed another little kiss near her ear. "On what?"

Rikku picked up a wedged tomato and brought it up to feed Paine. "On a few things actually." The blonde wiggled around so they were almost chest to chest. The warmness between them was distracting, but not that distracting that Rikku didn't remember what she had to do. She knew Paine was going to really fight the topic of Paul, and it might get ugly, but in the end Rikku knew she'd say what she needed, she'd be honest with her if no one else, and that's all Rikku wanted, because Paine had been sending mixed messages ever since hearing Paul was in the hospital. One minute she didn't care, and the next she'd have this forlorn look when asked late late at night how she felt about it. She never said anything though, and since Rikku was trying to continue on in life with a new outlook, the one her grandmother lived by, she needed to get to the bottom of this. She didn't know how to support Paine otherwise.

"On if you set the table…" Paine nodded. "Annnd if you tell me how it went with Keira." Paine groaned softly and let Rikku go.

"You know I'd rather not hold you right now, I change my mind."

Rikku laughed a little and picked up the salad bowl she was working on and handed it to Paine. "That bad?"

Paine rested the bowl on their small table. "No."

Rikku went over to the stove to check on the food. "Well?"

"Well nothing, You wanted me to talk to her about it and I did."

"Do you feel differently?"

"No." Paine went to grab the silverware to set the table.

"Do you want to feel differently?" She closed the lid on the pot and turned the gas range even lower.

"Honestly Ri, I want people to stop bugging me about it."

"Who's bugging? I'm your wife." Rikku turned to watch Paine focus on the table setting. She let out a puff of air when she realized Paine wasn't going to say anything more. "Well at least tell me if you're going to see him?"

Paine looked at her like she was crazy. "What?"

Rikku raised an eyebrow softly at her outburst. "Too much?"

"He's not going to fucking die, he had a stroke, and he's in the hospital getting help. I wish that everyone would just get off my back about this!"

Rikku sighed. "Look, pypo. I was just curious, I know Lulu-"

"I'm not Lulu!"

"Alright alright." Rikku went over to her when she realized that Paine was actually a little upset. She rubbed her lower back soothingly with her right hand. "I just know you think about it, you're always tense now, and I know it could be because of me—"

"It's not because of anyone, I'm not tense." She was standing rigid, afraid that giving in to her wife's touch would mean Rikku had won….which she hadn't.

"Pypo, you're tense, look at all these knoties I feel here…" Rikku now focused her attention to work at some of the knots at her wife's shoulders. She wasn't surprised, that's where she carried the world. "You big jerk this just means you're not talking about your feelings." Paine had grown up internalizing a lot, that's why she went to gym, and that's why she got knots.

Paine couldn't win anymore. She slouched a little and gave in to the small back massage. "I thought you were on my side?"

"Am I not rubbing your back right now?"

"No I mean with…" She winced when Rikku pinched a particular knot. "With this whole Paul thing."

"I just want you to tell me how you feel, Paine."

"I feel fine."

"He's sick…who knows what's going to happen to him."

"He's not going to die."

Rikku stopped the massage and Paine sighed. "How are we to know?" Suddenly she remembered how making dinner tonight was an internal test she failed miserably before Paine walked into the door. She wanted to call Milana, hell she had actually picked up the phone to call her and try and get to the bottom of her father and the bomb he dropped on her earlier in the day…then she remembered. She remembered that she wasn't here; she remembered that she would never be able to call her again, and most importantly, she remembered how raw it felt when they sent her. How even though she would eventually come to accept it and live on, it still burned. She wished she had done more with her, cooked more with her. So she tried to trick her emotions by cooking something her grandmother liked to cook often, somehow she thought making this one tonight would help her heal. "I know you're not content, I know you wouldn't be."

"Rikks I—"

"So how are we supposed to know how much time any of us have?" She crossed her arms. "You know what I wouldn't give to—"

"It's not the same!" Paine yelled startling them both. The apartment fell quiet and Paine looked away and cursed under her breath. "It's not the same…" She said quieter, this time with a gentle tone that Rikku assumed meant she was sorry for the outburst. "She loved you."

"You don't think he—"

"Well then why did he want me aborted? Why did he leave like that, fuck, this whole thing now is about feelings and shit but what about the facts, Ri? Then he sends me these letters and I swear to Yevon I'm about one letter away from fucking visiting him just to throw them in his face, words mean nothing, absolutely nothing okay?" Paine wiped at her mouth and then took a visible breath, both methods to calm down. "His unfortunate medical condition has nothing to do with me okay? Nothing…."

Rikku crossed her arms again. "So then look at me, and tell me, Rikku, as your wife, that if he were to go you'd be content…."

Paine looked everywhere but at her because deep down she hated that Rikku was able to do this, hated how even now, she thought about things; about how things would be, if she were making the right decisions, if she were a good person….She hated how Rikku knew that stuff because it meant that she did in fact have to talk, sometimes Paine rather just not. "Baby, of course I wouldn't." That one line made Rikku's frown deepen, she sounded helpless. Paine ran a hand through her hair again. "But what am I supposed to do huh?" She turned away from Rikku slightly and reached for another tomato from the salad sitting on the table beside her. "Send him a fucking father's Day card?" She mumbled as she walked off.

Rikku watched as she disappeared to take a shower. Mission accomplished, but now she was left feeling bad herself. Paine was right, what could she do?

##

Gippal stepped out of the walk in fridge at work with a plastic tray full of fruits under one arm, and then his cell phone to his ear with the other. "So like that means…?"

Elma Mennechey sat in a complimentary hotel robe while lounging on her hotel bed. It was her first real break in days. "Have you been listening to anything I've been saying?"

The Chef shrugged with a small grin. "Nah, kinda wondering what you're wearing."

Elma merely shook her head. "Anyway."

"So what's it mean?"

"It means his blood was rejected than accepted…then rejected."

"Weird."

She nodded, if the case could be called anything at all, weird was just about right. "Anyway he's stable now…how's things over there?"

"Well…" He rested the fruit down at his work station. "I'm working, got some rich ass chick coming in, requested a chef's dessert tasting menu…Gonna throw some of these figs on a plate, slap some caramel on them and call it fine cuisse."

"Hm, bullshit, something you do well."

Gippal chuckled. "Friad so sugar dumplin'." He could just see her rolling her eyes, it made him smile a little. He stopped and glared when he realized Clasko was looking at him strangely. "Anyway, Mack's good, Nooj is Nooj, Walker is y'know…that guy, Dr. P…she's alright."

"Just alright?"

"Well I still think marriage is a bit drastic." He joked. "Aye but we'll see, you gonna miss that party on Sunday for Walker's kid."

Elma frowned. "I miss quite a bit I'm guessing."

"Eh, I'll fill you in, it'll be like you were here…just too drunk to remember."

##

"Well Luce and I think its fake…" Rikku motioned to a small package on the ground near their apartment door. Paine bent to pick it up as the blonde keyed into their home late Thursday night.

"He has a hairline…"

"What does that even mean?" Rikku asked as she pushed the door open and turned on a light. She put her bag down and waited for a well dressed Paine to enter the apartment before closing the door behind her and locking it. "He can have it really well done, like a sew in."

Paine finally emptied her full arms on the dining room table and pulled off her blazer. "Well it looks real, when I start losing hair, I want one of those."

Rikku laughed. "Ugh, I just realized I'd be around then. Al Bhed's don't go bald.'

"Cid?"

"He did that himself."

"He said his hair started falling out when you were born." Paine reminded.

Rikku rolled her eyes. "That's his excuse."

Paine shook her head and emptied her pockets. Rikku padded into the kitchen with her after taking off her heels and went into the fridge. "Here." She opened one of Paine's beers and extended it for her to take.

Paine was busy untucking her button down shirt. "What's this for?" She took the beer.

Rikku shrugged and just offered her a smile as explanation. When that didn't change the little intrigued look on Paine's face Rikku spoke. "Well you came tonight, and you were well behaved and everything, I know you'd rather be relaxing or something but you came, so thanks."

Paine took a small sip from the brown glass bottle. "It was alright." She kinda still felt like an ass about the whole thing. Tonight wasn't that bad, and it was obviously something that made Rikku happy, at the end of the day that was her job in life; to make her wife happy.

"The chicken was dry."

Paine smirked. "I told you so."

Rikku nodded and suddenly found herself full of nerves. She really didn't know how to approach this topic, not full on anyway. "Look Pypo, I know things have been…slow."

Paine raised the bottle to drink a few healthy gulps. Were they about to have a talk?

Rikku stood fiddling with her wedding ring and looking to the ground. She sighed and then had to laugh at herself. This was Paine why was she so nervous? "Slow as in nothing, in departments….do you know what I'm saying?"

Paine shook her head no

"Okay…well we haven't had any real…us time?"

"Oh."

"Right, yes…and I was just, y'know I know you're so patient but I also know that I miss you."

The last bit made Paine smile a little. "I miss you too." She put the beer bottle down on the counter with a little laugh and wrapped Rikku into a little hug. "Are you trying to tell me you're sorry for not sleeping with me?"

Rikku was grateful for the hug. "Shut up I was nervous!"

Paine chuckled. "Ri, its fine. You're going through…a lot."

They pulled away slightly. "I know but I really do miss…us."

Paine nodded. "Babe, you have no idea."

"You came through tonight, I don't know, I guess it just reminded me how much I love you and then I wondered if I showed it enough, if you understood." She rubbed Paine's arms as she spoke. "We got married, and then we have this amazing experience and then well Home happened and I just shut off, I didn't know how to deal with feeling good…" She smirked deviously. "And you're that one thing that makes me feel too good."

Paine wore a small grin; it disappeared though when she thought of everything. "It still isn't that far off." They had been married for only about four weeks now. She was sure Rikku still had unsure feelings.

"I know but, I'm learning to separate the two, it shouldn't be…what's that word?"

"Maladaptive?"

"Yeah, gosh you're so smart."

Paine laughed a little. "So you wanna—"

"Don't say fuck." Rikku pointed at her.

Paine closed her mouth quickly and feigned innocence, which caused Rikku to laugh loudly. "You're such an idiot!"

"I thought you just said that I'm smart."

"No, because you do things like that on purpose because you know it bothers me."

"How does the word fuck bother you? You know that's what you want." Paine grinned as she lowered her arms from their previous hug to wrap around Rikku's waist.

"No!" She playfully gripped Paine's shoulders and then cupped her face with both palms. "I want us to mentally and physically share a romantic moment that—"

"You wanna fuck."

"Paine!"

"Okay Okay, I'll love you up."

"Thank you. You know I like it when you get all mushy, it's sweet." She smiled into the little kiss Paine planted on her lips.

"I'm just saying don't get used to it."

"You've been saying that now for five years."

"I'm just really trying to prepare you."

"For what?"

"For when I die."

"Paine!"

"Alright that wasn't funny." Paine laughed a little at the horrified look on her wife's face. "I'm sorry baby." She leaned in and kissed her again.

"I can't believe you said that." Rikku whispered in between their kisses.

"I'm an ass, I'm sorry." She cupped Rikku's cheek with her right hand and deepened the kiss a little. "I'm not going anywhere."

"You know Al Bhed's live a long time." She randomly thought aloud when they separated briefly for air. Not even Pops knew how old Milana was. Paine's body was already pressed up against hers, and that ever welcomed throbbing began interrupting all rambly thoughts on Rikku's behalf.

"Why do you think I go to the gym? Gotta stick around."

It made the blonde laugh a little more than she thought she would. "Aw." She wrapped her arms around Paine's neck and felt the taller woman press her hips into her a little more. "MMm." Paine's other hand trailed to the outside of her thigh and waited there for a moment. It was then that Paine remembered Rikku was in a dress. Knowing she'd be upset if it were ripped or anything Paine pulled away softly and rested her forehead against Rikku's.

"You wanna get comfortable or something?" She murmured.

It was then that she remembered the monkey wrench. "Uh..Pypo we..um, I can't." Paine furrowed her brows in response. "I'm on my period." Rikku watched her warm eyes try and process the information.

"Yeah?"

"Mhm."

Paine exhaled a little embarrassed that she hadn't remembered. Usually they synced up, it made sense though. Rikku seemed to be in a mood yesterday. "We can watch a movie." She offered.

"Yeah? How ab—"

"But nothing in black and white or stupid."

Rikku began to smile. "But those are my two favorite types."

"I know." Paine smiled.

Rikku smiled back. "You big meanie." She closed the distance between them and kissed her supple lips again, and then again.

"What are you trying to make me do?" Paine smirked and better wrapped both firm arms around the small of her back to keep her close.

"Want it." She winked.

Paine smirked. "Tease"

"Wife." She smiled and placed a pop kiss on Paine's mouth before getting out of the embrace and running off to shower.

Paine shook her head at herself and reached for the unfinished beer before searching for a box cutter to open the package that was left at their door. She supposed they wouldn't be watching a movie after all, not a traditional one at least. She could tell by the labeling that their wedding tape had finally arrived.

##

She had to hold herself to stop from crying. "Painnneeee." Rikku's eyes watered and she threatened to fall off of the sofa from all the laughing. "OhmygoshOhmygosh!"

"Pause it!" Her wife yelled from in the kitchen where she was pouring their second bag of popcorn into a large salad bowl with one hand, and pouring Rikku another glass of red wine with the other. "I said pause it!"

She hadn't laughed this hard in a long time. It felt good. Rikku opted for reversing the footage instead of pausing it. Soon the frame cut back to Wakka dancing. "He's so focused!"

Paine grabbed the wine glass, her water bottle, and the bowl of popcorn and hurried to find her place on the couch. "You better not spill this again." Paine laughed as she handed her wife the glass of wine then put her arm around her to rest on the back of the sofa. An honest laugh escaped her again when she saw her old roommate, now brother in-law dancing by himself at the wedding party.

Rikku took a quick sip and rested the glass down. "Nooo no more spills." She would admit to being tipsy, but it was the warm fuzzy kind she liked the most. She leaned into Paine and reached for some popcorn that was in the bowl on her lap. "I cannot believe we misses this Pypo. Where were we? What were we doing?"

Paine grinned. "Being married." Another laugh escaped her. "Look at Lulu's face." She pointed. "Fuck this is funny."

"He's just so into it….I mean I love this song too but dammmnnnn Wakka has got some moves…wait wait wait…" She rewind the section again. "Look how he starts out."

"So agile."

"He's an athlete."

Paine shook her head. "We'll never get through this tape if you keep rewinding it."

"You can't tell me seeing this isn't making your night?"

Paine laughed again. "Alright one more time."

Rikku giggled and rewind the scene again. She sighed softly and snuggled under Paine's arms a little more. "Pypo?"

"Hm?"

"Will you marry me again?"

Paine looked down at her and mumbled that she would before kissing the crown of her head.

"I mean not cause we love each other."

Paine chuckled. Yeah this was her last glass of wine. "Why then?"

"So we can have another crazy party like this and actually get to be there for these moments."

##

Paine was at work the next day questioning her career path for the fourth time in the last half hour. This annual report was going to be the death of her. It was bullshit, she wasn't a fucking CPA, and so why was she the one dealing with all the accumulated depreciation accounts for the entire program. She was pretty sure this wasn't in her job description. It wasn't hard really, just a big ass head ache. She had planned to work through lunch until her office phone began to ring.

"Kerrigan."

"Pypo come have lunch with me."

Paine smiled at the idea, lunch with her Mrs. would be nice. Her idea's of conversations though were soon overrun by the excel spreadsheet sitting on her computer screen. "Babe I got a shit ton of things to do, and I have to pick up Lai later."

"Right and I won't see you till like tomorrow morning am I right?" She was met with silence which meant she was right. "I have a lot of things to do today too, so it'll be a quickie. There is a noodle place that I want to try out."

It didn't take much convincing then. Rikku, food, being away from the stupid paper work, she was sold. "Alright, I drove today so I'll pick you up."

"I'm ready now, don't be late, you're always late."

Paine stood from her work and laughed. "I'm leaving now." She hung up and grabbed her leather jacket and keys.

She didn't know she needed the outside air before she was actually outside breathing it. Paine stood for a second near the entrance of Bridge Port and took a huge gulp of air, it was city air yes, but honestly she didn't know any other air. The city was covered in a filmy white sheet of snow that either threatened to get heavier or wash away. It had been and continued to be a cold winter, but experience taught her that the summer would be glorious.

Images of her wife in a bikini, picnics, and beach days with her family warmed Paine's thoughts as she got into her car and weaved through lunch time traffic.

##

He looked bulkier, maybe the right word was muscular, but on Auron Gaurrd it just looked like a lot of access bulk. His raven black hair was exchanged for a buzz cut, and the orange jumper made his eyes stand out, a hollow hazel.

Braska examined the latest photo from the public prison records.

Throughout the years Braska wondered, how someone so sinister, and…disgusting, how someone like this had become his friend. His close friend. What did that mean about his judgment; was it broken? Had it been? Why did everyone still trust him, when it was clear it was his judgment that got him into this, got his niece hurt, put his daughter in a tough situation. Why couldn't he have just known to stay the hell away from this guy?

That's what he wondered most for at least a year after the trial. It's what he wondered the day his beautiful little girl was born at the cost of his wife's life, it's what he wondered when he did anything. Was it right? Who will it affect? Am I being selfish?

Braska Shaw used to think a lot about those things. Mostly at night, lying alone with insomnia gave you a lot of thinking time. When that clock hit six he'd be up though, up and about because regardless of the answers to those questions he knew he had a responsibility. He couldn't be clouded with "why's" and "what ifs". Now was not the time. Now, was a time for preparation. First things first he needed to speak to HR, they'd be hiring a new lawyer and he needed to make sure he got taken care of for all the work he had already done.

##

"Yes good evening. I…wanted to make an appointment?" Rikku bit the inside of her mouth. "Uh, no not for that..I think I may be sterile and I…no I haven't tried….yes ma'am….I'm married….well he is a she…right, but not for a while." She rubbed at her temple and nodded at the nurses words. She was due for her yearly anyway right? She might as well just pop in next door and get some other stuff looked at. It was all a part of self preservation, at least that's what she told herself as she tried to settle her nerves about knowing. Would it change anything really? Probably not. Things were so early, new, the title of being Paine's wife still felt really new… Still…Rikku needed to know, she didn't know why she felt so strongly about knowing, she just needed to. "Right, well I have a family history….right so before anything I need to know…my wife? uh, no she's busy…I'll need to schedule it after work…maybe next week sometime?" She quickly grabbed a random envelop to write on the back of it. "Dr. Raymond? Yes….ok 6:30, that works. Thanks so much, bye." Rikku hung up and took a huge breath. and just as she began to get up she heard familiar voices causing all sorts of noise down the apartment hall. With a quiet laugh Rikku got up and opened the front door before Paine could put her keys in. "Well if it isn't dumb, and dumber, and my beautiful wife."

Paine chuckled and quickly kissed her on the cheek before running off to their room.

"Cid's girl he's the dumber one right? We all know it's true." Gippal Trent motioned with his shoulder behind him and entered the small apartment revealing Baralai Montgomery in the flesh. It seemed nothing about him changed from their college years. He was still plain ol' Lai, with his soft eyes and handsome smile. Rikku doubted he even changed much from childhood.

"Mrs. Kerrigan." He smiled a wide sort of smile and was quick to answer Rikku's excited hug with a hug of his own.

"My favorite ex is here!" She cheered as they hugged. She pulled away to get a good look at him. Over the years when things with Paine were tough she'd often talk to Baralai to get a different prospective on things. He and Gippal knew Paine for a long time, so it was nice to learn a thing or new about her lady. "Let me see you, look you shaved and everything, wow. Look at these Bevelle duds." She picked at his silky collar.

Gippal laughed, he was already holding a beer. "I've been telling him he looks like a fucking Shoopuff pimp."

"Hey this is what people wear in Bevelle ok, I mean you'd know if they let you in." He jabbed with a grin.

"Aye so I gotta say, Dr. P is changing, she's not gonna be able to stop Cid's girl and I from getting Al Bhed on your punk ass."

"Alright alright." Rikku waved Gippal off. "No fighting, everyone is back in town and that's nice. Are you hungry? How was the flight? How was the assignment? Did you text Yunie? Are you going back?"

Baralai laughed. "We're gonna grab something to eat when we head out, The flight was long and boring, Work was alright, I got to meet some cool people and yeah I'm coming back to the Luca branch here in the city." Baralai worked with the banks.

"Did you text Yunie?" Despite all the drama, and that weird love triangle her cousin once had or still had she knew the brunette would want to know if he was in town.

Baralai nodded. "Yeah, soon as I landed."

"Good, now most importantly, what are you getting me for my birthday?

Lai chuckled. "I mean you've had twenty four of these, Vidina has only had what, three? I thought I'd just get you something next year." He sat down on the piano bench and faced the others.

Gippal strung a heavy arm around Rikku's shoulders. "Aye don't worry Cid's girl, I got you something."

Rikku laughed at him. "Your best friend's wife." She reminded, Gippal Trent would die a flirt, and sometimes he just needed some reminding.

"Damn!" Gippal snapped his fingers. "I liked you better as a girlfriend."

Lai chuckled. "Does have a different sound to it." He rubbed his chin. "Very final…"

Gippal nodded and went back to drinking his beer. "Well yeah man, I can't mess with a married woman."

"What about that one time in High school?" Paine asked as she emerged from the bedroom clad in black leather pants and a black sleeveless t-shirt. Rikku's back was to her.

Gippal nodded. "Alright, can't mess with a married woman named Cid's girl."

Rikku laughed and gave his arm a little rub. "The one that got away."

"Don't tell Elma." Lai snickered.

"She already knows man, she already knows." Gippal laughed a little and then motioned to Paine who was slipping boots on. "Hurry up!"

"Don't fucking rush me."

"Yeah don't rush her." Rikku gave Gippal a playful little shove before turning to say something to Paine. "Where in the hell are you going in that?" Rikku blurted out when she finally saw Paine's outfit choice for her night out with the guys.

Paine smiled shortly and grabbed her wallet and leather jacket. "Out."

"Out?" Rikku raised an eyebrow and eyed her wife's legs and arms up and down twice before looking to Gippal and Baralai. "Text me."

The trio laughed and Paine leaned down and placed a kiss on Rikku's mouth.

"I mean should I even expect you to be home when I come home?" Rikku asked as she held Paine's shoulders to slow her down to talk to her…and look at her. Gippal and Baralai were already slipping their shoes back on and nearing the door.

Paine laughed and kissed her again. "Ill text you if anything."

Rikku pointed a finger at her. "You're married."

Paine nodded. "I know."

"Don't drink so much."

"I know."

"I love you."

Paine stole one last kiss. "Love you too. Have fun with Yuna." She pulled her jacket on and left just like that. Rikku went to close the door but paused to get a nice visual of Paine's ass in the tight pants."Sweet machina." Those pants should be illegal. After closing the door Rikku could hear the trio's yelps and jokes get quieter until the elevator door closed. She was glad they were back, it made Paine happy to be around them, it eased her, that's what she needed. Hell that's what Rikku needed, which is exactly why she showered and changed and got ready to head out and meet her cousin and Lulu for celebratory drinks. Alex Shaw had its first real order in for a fashions show set to happen near the end of the summer. This was huge news, and some time to chat about it with her good friends was well needed.

##

Paine laughed hard. "Rikku was so pissed at me, but she wouldn't come to the hotel and visit me because she didn't want to jinx us right?" She laughed again as she tried to tell the story right with a straight face and a few drinks in her. They were currently at a pool hall near where Lulu and Wakka used to live. After a couple games of pool the trio got their own table and began to order hot wings and pitchers of beer.

Gippal and Baralai had their heads thrown back in laughter as Paine continued.

"So It's like seven hours before the wedding, I'm kneeling in the hotel bathroom throwing up and all I can hear is her on speaker phone going off in Al Bhed about what a dumbass I was. I was so hung over and tired of it that I hung up."

"You did not hang up on her!?" Gippal was about ready to fall out of his chair. "How come you never told me this story before?!"

"Because it just happened when we got married, and I still felt bad."

Baralai chuckled and sipped on his beer, he was already five deep and something told him that he might be driving tonight, he always ended up driving. "So you don't feel bad anymore?"

Paine chuckled. "I still feel bad but it was kinda funny. Ri, was more upset that I hung up than that I was hung over." She could remember it like it was yesterday. She had enough time to sleep, eat a real meal (Milana had sent her food) and then take another little nap, she even had enough time to freak out, calm down, and then meet up with Gippal and Elma to get ready. It had been a long day, but all of that had been instantly forgotten when she saw Rikku walking toward her in her nontraditional wedding dress.

Paine was snapped out of her little day dream when Lai nudged her softly in the shoulder with his own. The two shared a look as Gippal kept on talking.

"…..Best bachelorette party ever. You're welcome." Gippal clinked his glass with Paine's. "Now let's talk about the honeymoon." He wiggled a brow.

"Fuck you, I'm not that drunk." Paine chuckled.

"Did she just—"

"She did!"

Paine groaned realizing what she had done. The first person to admit they were drunk had to pay. "Again, just like to point this out." She pointed to herself. "Me, wife, responsibilities…you." She pointed to Gippal. "Owner of a three star restaurant."

Gippal laughed and reached for his wallet. "I got you this time, only because you saved my ass in third grade."

Paine chuckled, "Lai were you around when he fucking stoned that teachers car because he thought she called him an orphan."

Gippal snorted. "She said it was a word of the day, fuck her."

Lai raised a brow. "Gippal it was a word of the day."

"What the fuck then? Couldn't they have saved that for the fifth grade? I was young as shit and that stuff still bothered me."

Baralai and Paine both laughed.

##

Rikku's eyes snapped open at the loud clatter. She looked around in a panic and cursed the darkness of their room when her eyes didn't adjust as quickly as her heart was racing. Upon instinct she grabbed for the space to her right, only to find it empty.

The small bit of sweat that had accumulated at the back of her neck during the fitful two hours of sleep had surprised her when it reached her collar.

"Okay." She whispered into the room. She had just had the weirdest and most ambiguous scary dream ever. She didn't know she was afraid, all she could remember was talking to Paine about something important in her dream, but it had been so scary and intense for her.

Rikku shook her head at herself and began to calm down. That's when she heard another loud thud coming from their living room. She closed her eyes tightly and thought of the facts. She was home alone….what would Paine do?

Paine looked up when she heard a small wooden thud against the floor and a loud exhale of annoyance.

Rikku stood there clad in only an oversized shirt and her socks. She was leaning a baseball bat normally kept behind their bedroom door and a mixed expression. "Yna oui dnoehk du kad zisbat? Kad ib uvv dra vmuun"

Paine sighed. "Don't you think if I could I would? I do… anything for you."

Rikku sighed then when she really took in her wife's appearance. She was slouched against the back of the sofa, oddly sweaty, paler than usual skin; she couldn't even keep her own chin up so it sat very comfortable against her chest. "You're drunk."

"No." Paine waved her off and almost lost her balance. "I'm home see?"

Rikku leaned the bat again a nearby wall. "What you weren't going to come home—Paine why are you all sweaty!?" She was going to help the older woman up but her hands just slipped away, it was a little gross.

"Cause I fuckin' couldn't drive…" She was still looking down and slurring every word. "And I wanted to be home faster cause we were like in midtown…fucking middle of nowhere….They should call it that instead…"

It took Rikku a second to process what she was trying to say. "You ran here!?'

"Shhh." Paine brought a swaying finger to her own lips to shush her. "I did, you know why, Princess?"

Rikku couldn't help but begin to grin. "Why?"

"Because this is my fucking apartment…and this is my fucking floor and I wanted to sleep in my fucking bed." She poked the wooden floor hard at every profanity to get the point across. "With my fucking wife that no one helped me get….I mean you could have left right?"

Rikku shook her head. "Paine why would I?"

"Cause you're gorgeous."

"I love you too, don't forget that."

Paine nodded. "Right right….so fuck them."

Rikku laughed. "Who?"

She mumbled something but probably realized that Rikku couldn't hear her so she finally looked at her then, blood shot eyes and all. "All those fucking people who said I wasn't gonna do shit." And with that very determined statement Paine stumbled to get up, when Rikku tried to help her stand the judo fighter pushed her away a little. "I just ran like forty blocks—"

"Drunk and in the snow, you're a crazy woman." Rikku shook her head and helped Paine out of her leather jacket. It was terribly romantic though, all Paine wanted was to be with her.

"Where was I gonna go?" She almost fell again while trying to take off her boots. " You know Rikku everyone was going and all I could think about…like right then was….was was you and if you woke up and I wasn't there and I would be there so that's why I'm here."

Rikku nodded to appease her. "Mhm, okay babykins."

Paine ran her hands down her face. "I'm such a pussy."

She smiled. "Is that what they call you?" She was leading her into the bathroom now. "Gippal and Lai?"

Paine huffed and leaned her elbows against the sink once she was finally there. "Cause I'm married and shit…like I'm the first one…fucking _me_." Rikku reached forwarded and turned on the water for her to wash her face. "Like Em is not gonna put up with his shit, and Lai is gayer than fucking juniper berries."

Rikku had to laugh at that one. "Oh?" She seldom got to see Paine drunk. Her wife was usually taking care of her when they went out. That and she knew that Paine didn't like to drink to this point, she said once it made her feel out of control of urges, but that was a long time ago. "Pypo wash your face."

Paine reached forward and gathered a small handful of cool water. "I'm not getting soft or nothin'." She gave Rikku a pointed look and Rikku nodded and then smiled a little when she looked away to wash her face. "Cause I can still fight." She lowered her hand for another small puddle.

"I'd prefer it if you didn't."

"I know I know." Paine sighed and accepted the hand towel Rikku handed her; the cold water had sobered her up some. "I'm drunk huh?"

Rikku laughed a little but nodded. "Why did you drink so much?"

Paine let out a frustrated little grunt. "Cause Ri, I hate being the lightweight."

Rikku chuckled. "Pypo you're not a guy."

Paine rolled her eyes. "I know."

"So of course maybe Lai can drink a little more…why is it a competition every time the three of you go out?" Over the years of the trio being reunited she had noticed a very obvious pattern with them. They liked to do stupid things, she never understood why, but they just did. Maybe it was reliving their youth days, and naturally with them all being competitive in their own ways things usually got out of hand. Paintball, drinking, races with their cars. Paine knew what she was doing, meaning she never really lost anything, but when she did she'd get this way.

Her wife was a sore loser.

Not all the time, but when it came to the trio that they were, she hated loosing.

Rikku watched as Paine pulled her shirt off and clumsily turned on the shower head. She accidently burst into the shortest fit of laughter when Paine nearly slipped trying to get into the shower. "Oh pypo I'm sorry." She apologized quickly when Paine shot her a look. Rikku kept her smile in place though as she went over to her and tugged gently at her leather pants that were still on. "You can't shower with these on, it'll ruin them."

"You know what will ruin them? You will ruin them okay?" She shimmied out of the pants and stepped into the shower.

Rikku chuckled at her silliness. She could begin to see that the run from however far away she was was finally catching up with the trainer and she was slowing down in the movements and sobering up a little more. Oh she was still very drunk, but at least now she was able to hold her head up, that was good.

Rikku put her hands up in retreat. "Fine…I'm going back to bed since you've got all this under control."

Paine let the warm water run down her face and darken her hair. She exhaled as she leaned her palms against the shower head's tilled wall to help hold her up. "Wait."

Rikku stopped and looked at her then "You want me to stay?" Paine only nodded her head a couple times before closing her eyes and enjoyed the new sensations of water and steam. Rikku pulled the shower curtain for her and then sat on the sink. With a yawn she tried to remember what time the digital clock said before she grabbed the baseball bat behind the door. They had a lot to do tomorrow. She yawned then and leaned even further onto the sink so her back could rest near the mirror.

Paine had eventually finished her poorly coordinated shower and dried off, she dropped the towel to the bathroom floor without a care and went to stand before Rikku, who had closed her eyes and was beginning to doze off until now. The blonde sat up a little when Paine took her hands in hers. She blinked a few times and then waited because Paine seemed to really be thinking about her next words carefully.

"Babe."

Rikku nodded once. "Yes?"

"Twenty five ain't so bad okay?"

Rikku furrowed her brows at the naked woman in front of her. "Okay Pypo."

"So don't be scared about it."

Rikku smiled softly when she realized what Paine was drunkenly trying to tell her. "Okay."

"Also—"

"There's more?"

"Yes."

"Okay, tell me.."

"Also...we're married."

Rikku waited for more but when Paine just nodded and leaned forward to place a little kiss on her forehead she chuckled. "Okay. I think maybe you should lie down now." Paine looked adorably confused as Rikku grabbed her hands now and hopped off the counter. "Come."

"Babe but I got other shit to say." She tried as the blonde ushered her out of the bathroom and into their bedroom. "Like…" She sighed at her state. "Okay." She agreed as Rikku sat her down on the bed and then let go of her hands to find her a tank top to throw on. She slipped on the thin material and plopped back onto the bed.

Rikku climbed over to her usual spot nearest the wall and couldn't fight the smile she got when Paine rolled over and wrapped an arm Rikku's midsection. The blonde pushed some of her wife's damp hair out of the way of her face to see her eyes. She liked when it was free of product like this because it framed Paine's face just right. They stared at each other for a moment before Paine sighed contently and rested her head down against the blonde. Rikku wrapped her arm around the back of Paine's neck and closed her eyes, finally able sleep in peace knowing that Paine was beside her.

**AN: Review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

"Hey Yunz." Rikku smiled as her cousin hopped in the passenger seat of her white car Sunday morning. The morning was dark, sleepy and cold and even after the two cups of tea and breakfast of pastries and cheeses Rikku couldn't shake the cities mood.

"Happy Birthday!" She smiled and then looked around. "Where's Paine? I thought she was coming with us."

Rikku shook her head no as she pulled out of the apartment building parking lot. "She was up when I got up, made me breakfast in bed, and then said she had _things_ to do and would meet me at Lulu and Wakka's in a little bit."

Yuna buckled her seat belt and nodded. "Hm." It wasn't as early for her as it was late.

Rikku chuckled a little when she thought about her last comment. "Should I be worried? I feel like she's up to something."

"Well it is your birthday…this could be good."

"So that means you know something. Spill the beans Yunie she's acting weird!"

Yuna chuckled. "I know nothing."

"No you choose to say nothing."

The brunette simply shrugged.

Rikku groaned, she had only been up for a few hours, but already she had a feeling that today was going to be full of waiting. She didn't sit well with so much excitement in the air. With a sigh Rikku focused on the road.

Yuna saw this and smiled. "So, Tidus called me yesterday."

"I called him too." Rikku glanced at her cousin. "I told him not to be a poopyhead tonight…and to bring ice."

Yuna chuckled and sat back in her seat. "I'm anxious."

"Paine and I watched the tape, wedding tape?" Yuna nodded. "You two seemed fine. You even talked!"

Yuna shrugged. "Well I think the camera woman was drunk by the end of the night and missed the blowout we had."

Rikku chuckled. "Blowout, Yunie you told me before he just said he missed you."

Yuna nodded quickly. "That's intense."

Rikku laughed more and stopped the car at a red light. "Unbelievable." They decided to go to yoga today of all days, then they'd go run errands for the party, head over to Yuna's old house in the Heights to get Kimahri and shower and change, and then it was off to the party. Last night Lucil took Rikku to some exclusive gallery opening as an early birthday gift, and an apology for not being present today, her grandparents had come to make the short drive with her into the valley to visit her cousins and she'd be tied up all day. It had been fun, doing something outside of work with her friend, but getting home so late and getting up so early was not working out as it stands. The blonde took a glance at her cousin and wondered if she had slept at all.

"You know this isn't like you." Rikku observed aloud.

Yuna glanced at her. "I know. Lulu says she think it's just everything building up. I focus on this stuff so I don't have to focus on the rest..."

Rikku had an idea, but they'd both been so busy lately. "What's the rest?"

"Well work for one." Yuna smiled gently. "It's like the one thing that's finally coming together in all of this."

"Getting that order is huge."

"I know, so that's been so much fun, but then Knyhtsy… I still kinda feel like I'm in shock from that…I mean it _just_ happened."

Rikku nodded slowly. "I almost called her the other day."

"Oh Rikku."

"I know."

Yuna sighed. "Now I'm worried about Father."

Rikku looked at her then. "What's wrong with Uncle B?"

Yuna shook her head. "Maybe it's nothing, maybe again I want it to be something so I don't have to think about things, but he's just been so…inside himself, do you get me?"

Usually a jokster at heart Rikku could remember growing up and learning pranks to drive her father insane with her uncle. He worked a lot, hell he still did, but now if after everything Yuna thought something was off something must have been. "He's coming today right?"

Yuna nodded. "Of course."

"I'll give him the once over." She joked and nodded when Yuna laughed a little. "Anyway so what did Teedus have to say when he called you?"

"He was buying Vidina a gift, and then just wanted me to know he was in town."

"How come no one is buying me gifts?" I mean Viddy's real birthday isn't for a week or so."

Yuna chuckled. "He's turning four Rikku, your run is up."

Rikku chuckled and reached for her cell phone. "No way." The morning radio show that had been playing quietly in the background faded out and a dial tone took its place. Yuna chuckled already knowing the Bayla tactics of interrogation.

"Kerrigan." Paine answered.

Rikku winked at Yuna as she kept driving. "Yes Mrs. Kerrigan where are you?"

"Where am I?"

"Yup."

"The gym."

"That's funny cause I just passed by your gym and didn't see you." Lie.

"Why would you pass by the gym?"

"Cause I missed you, but more importantly because I know you're a liar."

Paine chuckled to herself. "You're a piece of work."

"Where are you?"

"At the gym."

"Prove it."

"What the fuck, Rikks?"

"I know you're out getting my gift."

"Here we go again."

"Yes, here we go."

Yuna was silently laughing in the passenger seat. Watching Paine and Rikku fight was hilarious, and endearing. She could tell how much Paine cared, but also how well she knew her new wife by her tone, they were both hot heads in their own little ways though. Out of everything crazy going on right now she was glad they were married, she didn't know what they'd be doing if they weren't in the next year anyway. It gave her hope, however small.

"—Just say it!" Rikku yelled with a grin on her face but not in tone.

"I'm in the middle of my fucking workout, and you're acting crazy for what? Nothing!"

"How am I acting crazy? You're the one lying to your wife!"

"You are quite possibly the most difficult person…ever." A loud smacking sound was then heard. "Punching bag." She growled

Rikku laughed. "Was that for me?"

Paine mumbled something that couldn't be heard.

"I love you, grumpy."

"I'm hanging up."

"Pypo say it back!"

"Bye."

"Paine!"

"…What?"

"How come you won't tell meeee?" She whined.

Paine sighed. "I never wait last minute to buy you shit, with that being said, I'm at the gym. I'll see you later."

"And?"

"And I guess I love you too."

Rikku chuckled "Bye."

"Bye."

The line faded out and was replaced with radio show again. "See, like a pro."

Yuna laughed. "And what exactly did you just accomplish?" Besides lifting her mood a little?"

"Well now I know my gift is at home, we'll stop there to search for it on the way back."

##

"Momma?" Vidina rubbed his eyes with his little hands. He squinted at the familiar figure that had just stepped out of his room leaving the door ajar. The little Wakka look alike climbed out of his big boy bed quickly and grabbed a toy to hand off to his mother before she went off into the world without him.

Ellen Moore stood in the hall looking at her daughter with concern. "Lulu, please be rational."

"Mother what exactly do you want me to do? Tell her she can't come see her nephew?"

Ellen made a face. "_He_ is not her real nephew."

"_She_ is my sister, thus making Vidina her nephew." She crossed her arms. "It's been way passed time that you accept this. This isn't your home okay?"

The older woman seemed surprised. "Do you not think that I have to accept that? Tailor my schedule to see my own grandson around some other woman's child. I am very well aware Lulu Alexandria."

Lulu shook her head slowly. "Mother I invited you to spend today with us. You know Rikku just as well as—"

"Rikku Milan has done nothing but disappoint me. She had so much potential, let us be quite honest. Giving up Bevelle like that."

"Are you really that bitter? Do you even know Paine? She's great to him. She accepted him the moment he was born." Lulu had tried, and as still trying with her mother, but then again this was no new song. She was a kind woman at heart, but always pushed her only child. Well Lulu was an adult now, and she hated being pushed around in her own home. The two began down the hall toward the kitchen, soft padded feet following slowly without their knowledge.

"I have tried Lulu, believe me, with your father in the hospital, with everything being so…un real these last couple of years. I have tried my damndest. Haven't you seen that?" She asked seriously wondering if all her effort was in vain. "And you haven't seen him yet? Neither has this Paine…it kills him."

Lulu exhaled heavily. Great let's change the subject again. "I intend to."

"When?"

"When I am ready okay!" Lulu shook her head. "You can't force me to do this. I care, I love him, he's my father, he is my son's grandfather, but I cannot stand for the lack of tolerance—"

"Lack of tolerance!?"

"Yes mother, you won't even try."

"I don't see the need to."

"For Vidina, for me—"

"I have bent over all of this for you and you alone." The posh woman tossed a carless arm in the air. "Before you knew do you think it was easy raising you? Knowing _she_ was out there? A little girl just as you? When you came ill—"

"I wasn't ill mother, I was depressed."

Ellen nodded as if was the same word. "Do you think me a monster? Think that I didn't see how lonely you were, but I sacrificed everything, including my own pride for you. So don't you dare ask me what I have done when you haven't the slightest clue, Lulu"

"You act like you're the only person having to adjust mother! What about me, or Paine, or Wakka?"

"Wakka…" Ah, the one responsible for the soft puff of red hair.

"You show me that you do not wish to make things right because you still, years later refuse to admit that we are together, and okay, and he is successful at what he does, he loves me very much, and he loves _his_ son more. You refuse to admit you were wrong about him, what kind of message does that send to Vidina?"

Ellen Moore pursed her lips together. "Darling it seems you have a lot on your mind."

Lulu took a second to calm down, she was probably the only human being on Spira who could get her this mad, and then claim she had a lot on her mind. Damn right she did! "I can't keep doing this Mother, it's exhausting."

"…Momma?"

The two women whirled around to see Vidina Mateo standing in his footed pajamas clutching an action figure in his left hand.

Lulu covered her mouth for a moment, turning from daughter to mother took a little time this time around. "Come Love, say hi to grandma." She breathed and extended her arm.

##

Braska woke to the sound of Kimahri yelping excitedly and scratching at the front door. He rubbed the back of his neck and winced when felt a sharp pain shoot down his spine from the sloppy sleeping position he fell into late last night while reading up on a cure for this.

"Kimmikins!" He heard his niece excited greeting as the front door opened.

When he finally realized what he was doing or more over what he could eventually be caught doing, Braska quickly got to his feet and stuffed all the documents he had concerning the trial from years ago into his briefcase.

Kimahri barked loudly in the hall as Rikku pranced around him riling the dog up even more. "What are you doing you crazy pup!? Ah!" She nearly fell back when Kimahri jumped up to lick her face.

"Kimahri." Yuna shook her head with a little laugh. Whenever Rikku was here it was playtime, while the two old friends were getting reacquainted Yuna went to turn on a few more lights and see if her father was home. "Father!?" She stepped into the study and paused.

Braska was quick on his feet to make it seem like he wasn't just trying to hide some papers. "Yunalesca." It had been his late wife's idea to name her that. She'd wondered all throughout the pregnancy what nicknames her unborn child would have. No one ever called High Summoner Yunalesca "Yunie". Braska shook his head at the fond little memory and smiled.

Yuna had missed the quick action and smiled back. "Did you fall asleep in here again? You know you have three rooms in this house with huge beds." She put her yoga bag down and began to search for Kimahri's leash.

"Two, one is yours and don't you ever forget that." He walked over and placed a kiss atop her head like he had been doing since she were just a baby. "Now where is that cousin of yours?"

Yuna continued to look for the leash. "With Kim, I'm going to take him for a walk before Rikku and I change."

"Did you all have breakfast? I'll make something."

"Uncle B! what up yo." Rikku smiled goofily at her uncle when she entered the study with Kimahri on her heels.

Braska smiled. "Happy Birthday little one." Rikku hugged him tightly. "I got you something." He put up a finger to tell her to hold on one moment while he ran to get the gift.

"Well it's about time someone got me something."

"Ten dollars says it's a law book again." Yuna chuckled once she found the thick blue collar. "Kimahri." She called him over and then rubbed him behind the ears affectionately. "Hey there." She whispered.

Rikku yawned still even after the hour long "Wake Up and Yoga" class. She took a seat on a comfy sofa and sighed, briefly wondering if this was what getting old felt like. "You walk him Yunz, I'm gonna take a nap right here, right now."

Yuna clipped the leash on and then let it go. Kimarhi stayed put at Yuna's side though. Noticing this she smiled. "What's up huh? Can't stand to be home with grandpa? He boring? Sorry, I just had the silks out and I know you like to roll around in those. You'll be home tonight." She rubbed his back. She remembered being able to hold in with one hand, now he was this huge intimidating guard dog to the world, he'd always just be a puppy to her though.

"Who's a grandpa?" Braska asked coming into the room with a gift that was already wrapped. "Rikku Milan, I thought you'd really like this." Rikku sat up and accepted the gift with a huge smile.

"Thanks Uncle B." She took the box from his hands and shook it. "What is it?"

Braska came to sit beside her on the couch. "Open it."

After getting through a well wrapped gift Rikku chuckled at what she found. "Ah it's perfect." She turned to hug her uncle, "Yunie look." then lifted the little box and her cousin laughed.

"New sunglasses." Yuna leaned over the small couch to get a better look. "These look fancy."

"Well I'd figured once it started getting warm you'd need about three pairs seeing as how you always lose and or break the ones you have." Braska explained causing Yuna to nod in agreement. "Do you like them?"

Rikku had taken the sunglasses out of the box and grinned at the very slight tint of dark pink in the shades. "They're perfect." She put them on. "How do they look though?"

"Fabulous." Yuna nodded. She turned to her father then and patted his shoulder. "Just remember I want a nice sun hat."

He nodded. "Noted." Just then Kimahri yelped a little and tugged on the laxed leash. "I think someone is ready for his walk. Are you sure you're not coming Rikku?"

The blonde shook her head no. "You guys need your Mommy and me time."

Yuna laughed a little. "C'mon Kim, let's go for a walk." She grabbed her cell phone and the leash and then was out of the door.

Braska sat there for a moment. He knew it wasn't right or fair, but he had been distancing himself from Rikku a little since finding out about the appeal. It wasn't that he didn't want to be around her, often times he forgot that he only had one daughter instead of two. Whenever Yuna got something, Rikku got something, whenever he invited Yuna to travel with him, he invited Rikku as well. He loved her very much, but that's precisely why. Sitting alone with her now, looking at the young woman she had grown to be, his fatherly instincts kicked in and he wanted to protect her no matter what. He wanted to tell her about Auron, but the more rational side of him knew he couldn't, not until he had a solid plan. He wasn't going to dump this on her after losing a grandmother.

After sending a quick text Rikku looked to her side and playfully leaned into Braska's right shoulder. "So uncle B, have you heard that Teedus is back in town?"

Braska huffed. "That moron?"

Rikku giggled. "Ah c'mon."

"Yuna hasn't said much about it, no." He stood then. "Yuna said you all haven't eaten yet. What should I make?"

"Make?" Rikku laughed. "I cook more here than you do. I'll make you something." She jumped up and followed him into the kitchen.

"Nonsense, it's your birthday." He motioned for her to take a seat at the small in kitchen table.

"Fine fine. I had a little something this morning but after yoga I am kind of hungry again…." She sat down and examined him for a moment as he set to make pancakes. "Uncle B?" Her tone had changed.

Noticing this Braska turned to look at her. "What's wrong sweetheart?"

Rikku smiled a bit at the old term of endearment. he really hadn't called her that since starting college. "So you know how Pops works a bunch? but then Leblanc yells at him and makes him drink tea?"

Braska nodded. "What? Does Paine not make you drink tea? How is work anyway?"

Rikku shook her head. "No no, Pai makes me drink tea…I guess what I was saying is that he has someone to check in on him sometimes."

Braska went back to making the pancake batter. "Hm."

"Yunie's kinda worried about you."

"Yuna always worries." He shook his head, "Here." He motioned to the fridge. "Maybe I do need some help; can you get me two eggs?"

Rikku nodded and was quick to do it. "So…maybe you should go on vacation or something. Yunie and I were thinking of going somewhere with Brother and…maybe everyone should go. What do you think?"

Braska nodded as he handed Rikku a whisk. "That'd be nice, where were you all thinking?"

She shrugged. "Dunno, but You'll come though right?"

He smiled as he worked. For some reason he remembered whenever Cid said no to something Rikku would come to him in this same fashion as a little girl and plead her case. "Of course Rikku Milan."

The blonde nodded. "Good. So next weekend?"

Braska chuckled. "Don't you think that's a little short notice? I have this huge project I'm working on and it needs my full attention."

"Ok maybe." She chuckled and continued to whisk the small amount of batter as Braska added in some spices. "What's it about?"

"What?"

"The case, that's the "project right?" Rikku let up a wide smile. "Pops used to call them projects too when I was little. It's when he was defending murders or something and didn't want me to know." Braska seemed surprised. "I'm not a baby anymore Uncle B."

"No, no you're not." He just watched her for a moment. She had pinned the tail on the chocobo her first time, though they weren't dealing with a murder, not yet.

Just then a muffled scream was heard and loud barking. Without a word the duo dropped what they were doing and bolted for the front door.

Outside Yuna was yanking harshly at Kimarhi's collar. As the guard dog easily held her in one place as he attempted to latch onto none other than Tidus Meadow's pant leg.

"Ahhh!" Tidus was lying on his back in an old patch of snow flailing and kicking as much as anyone with a blitz contract and common sense would. Kimahri was latched to his pant leg and was not letting go.

Yuna tried to get her pup to calm down and pull him away but the message was very clear that he didn't like Tidus on his turf at all. Yuna finally just grabbed at Kimarhi's neck in the way she was trained to do as a little girl to maintain dominance. Just like that Kimahri backed off and scampered toward the house.

Yuna sighed and tried to help Tidus out of the snow. "I am so sorry" "I'm sorry."

"No it's he just got loose from my—" "I should have called, I really should have called." Tidus backed up quickly nearly tripping and falling again as he went and broke out into a small jog towards his car.

##

"Aunty Weekku?"

Rikku looked down from the spices she was gathering in the kitchen. She and Yuna had arrived early to help get things together for the party. Little Vidina was running around wearing black strappy sandals, green shorts, and a gray long sleeve shirt with an airship on it.

"Oac, Muja?"

"Momma said dat I was post to help, den daddy said dat, he said dat he didn't needs no more helps."

Rikku pulled down the last bottle of mixed spices. "Fryd ec ouin sussy tuehk?"

Little Vidina shrugged. "I no know."

Rikku sighed. He was giving her the cutest little look, she couldn't say no. With a glance back to the couple pounds of raw hamburger meat Rikku took a second to think before grabbing a chair from the nearby dining room and pushing its back against the counter so Vidina could actually see what she was doing. The little boy quickly hopped on it and was about to stick his hand in the raw meat until Rikku stopped him.

"Fyed zicd y sehida drana, oui lyh'd kad sayd uh ouin ryhtc, draen ymfyoc eh ouin suidr." She shook her head no for emphases and he began to pout.

"Yihdoooo."

Rikku chuckled. "Nope."

Vidina put his hands out dramatically. "Den was I'm post to do?"

"Oui ryja y jano esbundyhd zup." To show that she was serious she began to speak in Common. "You have to hold something very very important for me."

Vidina nodded quickly; her voice almost new to him with the language change."Okay."

Rikku made a show of taking off her diamond wedding ring and Vidina's eyes went wide. He had noticed it when his Aunts finally came back and then asked his Momma about it later. It was shiny but he somehow knew the level of importance it held. "Aunty Pai gonna know?" He asked quietly causing Rikku to laugh and then smile at his innocence.

"I don't want to get meat on it, then I'd have to go get it cleaned professionally."

"Feshonally?"

"Yes, it's this whole process, will you hold it for me until I'm done here?" He nodded quickly. "Do you have pockets?"

Vidina nodded again just as quickly as before and watched as his aunt put it into his pocket before going back to seasoning the meat for the meatballs they were going to have with rice. After five minutes of watching her Vidina just ran off to do something else, occasionally coming back in the kitchen to tell her that he still had it.

Meanwhile in the living room Lulu and Yuna moved some furniture around for a more open party floor plan. "He's never been violent like that before." Yuna shook her head and glanced over at Kimahri lying down with his eyes closed and Vidina rolling on his back.

Lulu shook her head at the level of energy her little guy had today, he'd been like that since he woke up and said hi to his grandmother. Paine and Gippal were to arrive with the cake soon; maybe they'd all take him outside in the small backyard with Wakka and do something there before everyone else showed up. There's no way he'd tolerate the cute little wool sweater vest she had picked out for him otherwise.

She turned back to Yuna. "Well he is a guard dog Yuna. He never really liked Tidus much anyway."

The brunette nodded. "That's true, but still…" She glanced at Vidina giggling and pulling on Kimahri's tail, the husky opened one eye to look at the little boy and then closed it again. He was such a calm animal though; he'd always been unless he suspected something.

"Madweena, wook!" Yuna turned and chuckled a little at Vidina opening Kimahri's mouth and exposing his large k-9's.

Lulu shook her head. "Vidina leave him let him sleep."

"Aw, Momma." Vidina sighed and let Kimahri close his mouth before getting up and running off to the kitchen to let his aunt know he still had the ring.

"He's a handful today, I don't understand it." The mother shook her head.

"He's adorable." Yuna still found it cute that he called her Madrina, a common Al Bhed term reserved for Godmothers. It didn't directly translate to Godmother, but more advanced and fluent speakers knew it to be so. "And he's just excited."

Lulu nodded. "His grandmother was here this morning."

"Oh, Queen Ellen? No wonder, he's been touched by royalty!"

Lulu actually laughed at that. It reminded her of when they were in High school and she and Yuna would sit in her kitchen and watch her mother rant and rave about something ridiculous while on the phone. "He should be so lucky."

Yuna moved to adjust some cushions on the couch and pick up a forgotten toy. "So what did she have to say?"

"The usual." Lulu didn't want to get into it with Vidina running in and out, he had already heard way too much.

"Is she coming tonight?"

Lulu shook her head no. "I invited her…"

Yuna watched as Lulu went back to her usual quiet thoughts. Deciding that this probably not the day or time to talk about her family and it's never ending drama she decided to change the subject. "So I finally get Kimahri off of him…" She continued to tell her story.

"And he runs."

Yuna paused. "How did you know?"

Lulu finished moving some things on the coffee table around and crossed her arms with an amused look on her face. "That's all the two of you do."

##

Paine tried not to drop the large sheet cake in her arms as both Kimahri and Vidina jumped at her heels demanding her attention. "Alright alright. Let me just put this—"

Kimahri began to bark and wag his tail excitedly. While Vidina tried to climb her leg.

"Aunty Pai! Aunty Pai!"

"Yevon almighty." She shook her leg playfully and Vidina fell on his butt. He paused for a moment as if deciding if the landing hurt, when he felt nothing he just smiled a baby like grin of joy. Everyone was really coming to his party!

Gippal was holding grocery bags behind her. "You'd think this was your house Dr. P." He chuckled.

Vidina then noticed Gippal at the door. "Gippna!" He turned to yell back into the living room at his mother. "Momma Gippna bwought tings!"

"Gippal…" Gippal corrected confusing the little boy more. "Frah yna oui kuehk du maynh ruf du cbayg?" He asked jokingly.

Vidina pointed to himself. "Soon." He scrambled to his feet and followed Gippal into the living room since half the things in his hands were things Lulu asked him to get, and since the little boy had caught sight of something bright red in one of the bags. Kimahri followed Paine and the cake.

Rikku was just putting the plastic wrapped shaped meatballs into the fridge when Paine entered the kitchen and rested the cake down on the counter.

"Oooh Look at you." Rikku smiled when she saw that Paine was dressed nicely in silky short sleeve button down with her skinny legged black pants, light makeup.

Paine nodded as she pulled her wallet and things out of her pocket and rested it on the counter. "I changed before going with Gip."

"I see that, you look nice." Rikku wrapped one arm around her waist while she used the other to fix her hair a little. "I haven't seen you all day." She mused.

Paine leaned down and placed a little kiss on her lips. "I know what I miss?"

"Well Kimahri pretty much went full wolf on Teedus this morning."

"I missed that?"

The blonde nodded. "It was so funny…but not really, you know I kind of feel a little bad." Rikku let her go before turning to the large cake in possibly the largest shopping bag invented, it might as well have been a garbage bag. She moved to look inside but was stopped by Paine grabbing her left hand.

"What do you think you're doing?"

Rikku gave her a look. "Looking at _my_ cake."

The judo fighter shook her head no. "Not until later."

"Who made these rules? I don't agree with them."

Paine shrugged. "You know you're horrible at this surprise thing."

Rikku knew this to be true, she just couldn't help herself. She shook her left hand for Paine to let go. "Pypo just let me look."

Paine laughed but then stopped when she noticed something. "Where's your ring?"

Rikku looked down to her left hand and almost panicked herself before she realized where it was. Paine let go of her hand. "Well I decided that since you weren't here I could be single till you get back."

Paine just looked at her.

Rikku smiled and wrapped both arms around her waist the time and looked up at her. "Would you look at yourself? Pypo Viddy has it, I was making the meatballs and I didn't want it to get messed up." She kissed her once. "Stop that."

"What?"

"Not kissing me back, it's rude."

Paine sighed and wrapped her arms around her wife. "Single till I get back huh?" Rikku rolled her eyes and they shared a little kiss. "Does this mean I get to invite Wifey number two?"

Rikku laughed and pushed at her. "Don't even start that!"

Paine laughed and pulled her closer. "Vidina!" She called before kissing Rikku one last time and letting her go. Seconds after being called Vidina ran into the kitchen.

"Aunty Pai come! Gippna and Daddy said we can pway wit dem!"

Paine nodded. "Ok, but Aunty Rikku just told me she let you hold something for her?"

The little boy nodded quickly and fished into his pocket to pull out the sphere diamond ring. "She said I could, I swear." Paine got to his level.

She nodded and took it from him. "It's not good to swear Vid." Vidina looked down. "Thanks for keeping it safe for her though, that was brave of you."

"Bwave?"

"Yup." Paine stood to her normal height and turned to Rikku to slide the ring on her hand. The two shared a small moment, remembering that last time she had slid the ring on her hand like that. It seemed like just yesterday.

"Thank you Viddy." Rikku wiggled her fingers.

"Welcomes." He began to run off but then remembered he came to get Paine as well. "Aunty Pai you gon come?"

Paine nodded. "I'm right behind you." Vidina ran out of the kitchen then. Paine moved to find space for the cake in the fridge without a word and when she did she made sure Rikku didn't get to see it as it went in. "You have no business in here." She pointed at her wife.

Rikku crossed her arms. "You can't tell me what to do. I'm twenty five years of age today."

Paine shrugged and closed the fridge door. "You can look and not get your present. Or you can not look and get your present and cake…."

Rikku looked to be weighing the options. "I do like cake…" She mumbled seriously. Soon she just resigned to the fact that she'd just have to wait. She wrapped both arms around Paine's one arm and tugged gently. "How do you know so much about me?"

Paine leaned in the small distance and pressed another kiss on her lips. "Cause, I'm your wife."

Rikku grinned. "Oh yeah."

"What do you all need help with?" Paine asked, not wanting to go run off and play when there was work to be done.

"Nothing really, I'm in here cooking, Yunie is gonna help, go play." She rubbed Paine's back.

"To be honest I'm a little sore."

"Yeah?" Rikku gave her backrub a bit more purpose. "The gym? What did you eat today?"

Paine stretched her shoulders a little. "I did Judo conditioning, I came back and had lunch." She motioned to the kitchen. "I'll cook with you guys if you want."

Rikku tilted her head. "You really don't feel like running around huh?" Paine shook her head no. When Paine openly admitted she was tired, it really meant she was. "Well then go relax. I think Vidina is driving Lulu crazy today, she might be in the study hiding." Rikku began to push Paine off then got an idea. "Ooh I made ice tea, here bring her some."

Paine watched as the blonde quickly grabbed two glasses. "I should be doing all this, it's your birthday."

The shorter woman waved her off. "Once the party starts your sole job is to refill my glass, that'll keep you plenty busy."

Her wife laughed. "So you are drinking tonight."

"I'll have a little something with dinner but when Viddy goes to sleep then I'll have more." She focused on pouring the tea over the shaved ice and mint leafs. "You on the other hand…"

Paine shook her head quickly. "Not drinking tonight."

"Not even a glass of wine with the food?" She teased. Paine had refused to even hear about alcohol after Friday night.

"I guess yeah, but besides that no fucking way." She took the glasses Rikku handed to her.

"Be nice." Rikku had heard about Ellen stopping by earlier in the morning and how it had thrown the usually composed woman off, maybe she just needed some sister time.

##

"I should start getting dressed."

Paine picked her head up from the small leather sofa she had been dozing on. "What time is it?"

Lulu sat up in her chair and crained her neck to get a good look at the clock on the desk she was sitting in front of. "Four."

Paine rested her head back down on the couch. "They haven't come looking for us yet."

Lulu let up a thick yet short chuckle. "It's because they think we're bonding." Paine huffed at the notion and Lulu merely shook her head.

The small in home office that Lulu used to work out of whenever Vidina were sick fell quiet again. The room was an odd round shape with angled walls; they had to have the many bookshelves custom made because of this. Besides the many volumes of books Paine highly doubted Lulu had ever read, the room was home to a cozy two seater leather couch with a small coffee table in front of it, and then a desk with a royal sized rolly chair behind it. It was warm, and reminded Paine of the colors she found in the Bayla family den with the security of Rikku's old attic.

They had been hiding out there for the better part of two hours. Paine drifting in and out of a lazy sleep, and Lulu doing the exact same as she leaned back in her chair and set the standard to recline.

Over the years the two had realized that people still thought they had much to work out and talk privately about, it was their own little secret that all they really did was escape everyone else to get some much needed quiet. They talked sometimes, but most times the two retreated to their own thoughts. They were both just naturally not that talkative, but starting a new business and constantly having to pitch ideas and sell it, plus being a mother and a wife wore Lulu down a little. For Paine it was just as hard. Being a boss of a whole department, and being married to probably one of the most bubbly personalities in Spira was no easy task for the introvert. She was changing, hell they both were, and that was to be welcomed and expected, but sometimes some quiet was all that they really needed.

Lulu stole a glance at her younger half sister. Sometimes it still felt crazy to say or even think, and then other times, like now, it seemed like it had always been so; like she'd always been a big sister. "What do you think of coming to the hospital this week with me?"

Paine didn't say anything for a moment. "Nah."

"You wouldn't have to come in."

Paine looked up at her. "What, you need a ride?" Her tone was sarcastic.

Lulu nodded. "I refuse to go with my mother."

"Don't you know how to drive?"

"I do."

"So I need to go because….?"

"Because I know you want to, but don't want to."

Paine fell quiet again. "Who's gonna watch Vid?"

"Wakka."

The younger one of Paul Moore's daughters sighed heavily and turned over. "How come you don't talk to me about it, you have no problem telling me to do other things in my life, why go through Wakka?"

Lulu knew this question was coming. "He knows you better."

"You know Paul better though."

Lulu sighed and began to stand up. "I thought I did." She went over to where Paine was lying and placed her empty ice tea glass beside hers. "Bring this to the kitchen, I am going to locate my son and try and get him to put wool on."

Paine sat up and nodded. "Good luck."

"Hm." Was her response before leaving the room. Paine sat there for a second more before brushing off the sleep and grabbing the empty glasses. She walked through the house toward the kitchen and noticed how more lively it seemed than before. Music was on, Wakka was with a few teammates. Vidina and Gippal in the back pretending to be messing with the grill in the chill afternoon air, and laughter could be heard coming from the kitchen, along with an amazing aroma that made her mouth water.

"Paine." Yuna smiled in greeting at her cousin in-law when she entered the kitchen.

"Hey Yuna." Paine rested one of the glasses in the sink. "Some people are already here, you guys should go start getting ready."

Rikku was washing her hands. "Just make sure nothing burns."

"I'll try my best." Paine shook her head and grabbed her cell phone that was sitting on the kitchen counter. She noticed she had a missed call from Lai so as she poured herself another glass of ice tea she decided to call him back. "Hey…nah….yeah people are starting to come….why?...Oh, Showy milkweeds…Viddy likes anything yellow….yeah…alright bye." She hung up and then looked about the many pots and dishes wrapped with aluminum sitting on the counter top. Surely she'd have to taste something to make sure it was edible for the rest of the guests to eat…

##

Rikku and Yuna were in a guest room getting ready for the party. Rikku had a towel wrapped around her head since she just came from the shower, and was clad in nothing but matching light pink underwear. Yuna was in the bathroom mirror applying makeup in a similar get up, save her underwear was a royal blue.

"You know how I know you're nervous?" Rikku asked as she examined her dress choices that were laid out on the bed before her.

"How?" Yuna asked.

"Well you keep talking, that's my role." Rikku turned to look at her cousin. "Yunie it's not that bad…"

"Rikku I would have believed you yesterday before this morning happened." She couldn't even believe she was really fretting about this, but she was.

"This morning happened, listen you sound like a crazy lady!" She laughed. "He showed up unannounced, for what? We still don't know, then Kimmi attacks him because you know why Yunz? Dogs know stuff, and I'm betting Kimmi knew he broke your heart."

Yuna huffed but couldn't help a little laugh at her cousin. "Tonight isn't about me."

"Well we need to make at least one day about you and this nonsense."

"Well tomorrow then, it's about you and Vidina today."

"Okay so what are _you_ going to do when Viddy passes out and Paine's taking care of me? Hide? Ignore him? I mean them, because don't forget Lai is here tonight too."

"Lai is not the problem."

"No?"

"No."

"And Teedus?"

"I won't go into discussion about anything heavy, this is a party."

Rikku sighed. "Well good, but you know Teedus."

Yuna sighed. "A few drinks and he'll want to talk."

"I'm sure Walker and Pai will run interference, their good at that."

Yuna put her makeup brush down. "I just wish they didn't have to."

Rikku was still debating over her dresses when she paused and thought of something. "Well you still love him right? And he's getting traded here right?"

Yuna turned to look at her cousin. "Right." Mostly.

"Well maybe we're just over thinking everything."

"This is always a possibility when it comes to the two of us." Yuna looked back in the mirror at her face and then reached for some lipstick. "But just in case I'm putting red lipstick on."

Rikku giggled. "No kissing anyone tonight. Good idea."

Just then the bedroom door knocked and then opened. "Hey Rikks your—"

Rikku quickly threw a pillow at the intruder. "Rao! Oui lyh'd zicd fymg eh rana mega dryd fa'na lryhkehk!"

Paine caught the pillow and ducked just in case there was another one coming her way. "What!?"

Rikku folded her arms. "People are changing in here."

"People like my wife, who I have seen naked way more times than I can count."

"Yunie!" She motioned to her cousin.

"I've seen her naked too." Paine lied with a shrug. She'd seen her at least half naked at the beach like she was now.

Rikku's eye's widened. "What!?"

Yuna only laughed while applying her lipstick. "Yes I remember. It was a spur of the moment sort of thing." She turned briefly to look at Paine. "I thought we'd never tell?"

"Sorry, you know I can't keep much from her."

Rikku shook her head at the two of them. "You two are not funny."

Paine simply tossed the pillow back onto the bed. "Your dad's here." she informed before leaving.

Rikku sighed when the door closed. "Great."

The brunette finished her lipstick and grabbed a wad of toilet paper to kiss to clean the access. "Still sterile?"

"I have a doctor's appointment, but that's not why I just can't wait to see my dear old dad."

"Why then?"

"Well he called the other day saying he wanted to talk about the house." She decided on a little black dress that was more on the conservative side. "I left some paper work for him to sign but you know Pops, he always needs to add some kind of something about what I could have done better. I bet it's the asking price."

"Sounds familiar. Father insisted on looking over this order cover deal Lulu and I have been working on for so long."

"Zip me up?" Rikku walked over to Yuna with her back toward her.

Yuna pulled the zipper of Rikku's dress up. "We should have both went to law school."

Rikku laughed. "They'd of been so proud." She turned to look at her reflection in the mirror beside her cousins.

##

Wakka embraced him fully causing the shorter blitzer to laugh and hug his old friend back. He had been so busy gearing up to make the public announcement that he was being traded to the Goers that he had yet to be able to visit his good friend and college blitz cap'n Wakka D'Autry.

"Aye welcome to duh team brudda." Wakka grinned. The tall besaidian had already changed to a simple pair of slacks and then a white button down shirt without any shoes on.

Tidus Meadows smiled genuinely. "You ready to sit on the bench and watch me play?"

Wakka laughed and moved aside for Tidus to enter the house. "C'mon and meet some of the guys ya?"

With slight hesitation the blonde nodded and took a step forward. He had seen a few familiar cars parked outside already, it seemed the gang was all here. Now whether that was a good thing or not was still open to interpretation.

##

Vidina sighed dramatically and Lulu only smiled. "Oh really?" She asked her son as she adjusted his sweater vest at his eye level. "Why?" She was already dressed and was getting him ready.

"Momma cause Daddy don't gotta, I don't gotta."

"Hm, valid enough except for the fact that Daddy knows how to tie his own sandals." She reached for a brush. "And use the potty all the time."

Vidina thought about it for a moment. "But Daddy's a big perwson."

"My point exactly, love." She put the brush down and used a comb to part his hair then picked up the brush again. "What would you have worn?"

The little boy fell quiet then shrugged. "I no know."

"How about we make a deal?" She raised an eyebrow gently and he nodded quickly. "Next birthday, you can pick."

"Weally?"

"Yes, I promise…but of course you have much to learn about what looks nice and what doesn't. I'll have to teach you. Don't' listen to your father."

Vidina looked down to what he was wearing, beige shorts, a breathable white button down that was tucked in, and then the black vest. "Diss wooks nice, Momma?"

Lulu smiled. "You look very nice, yes."

He seemed to be thinking on it a little more as he played with the material of the vest "Gamna gonna like it?"

His little hopeful look broke Lulu's heart. She paused a moment, allowing herself to feel guilty for just one moment. Vidina must have seen it because he quickly put his small hand on her face. Lulu kissed it loudly a few times like she always did and just like that the two were laughing and the moment was defused. It wasn't until late that night once the party was over and she was lying awake in bed that she realized that at the very young age of three, Vidina was already able to be sensitive to others moods. In the moment though she smiled after their laughing died down and gave her son the honest truth, because later on when he was older she knew it was all he would have wanted. "I don't think grandma is coming tonight, dear."

Vidina looked a little sad. "Oh…"

Lulu fixed his shirt again. "But you are going to have a lot of fun tonight, are you going to ask Aunty Rikku to dance? It's her real birthday you know?"

Vidina giggled and nodded. "and Daddy gon dance too."

Lulu smiled at the thought. "I would love to see my two boys dancing."

"And Madweena, and Aunty Pai, and and Gippna, Momma."

"Oh?" Vidina watched his mother stand up to her real height and he nodded and did this little dance that made Lulu laugh and pick him up. "My sweet boy." She murmured before kissing him on the cheek and heading downstairs to let him make his grand appearance.

Wakka paused what he was doing and just stared at his wife coming down the stairs in a skirt with their son on her hip, both giggling at something Vidina was saying. He smiled widely and slipped his hands in his pockets before walking over and placing a kiss on Vidina's cheek before smiling warmly at Lulu.

"He said you'd dance." Lulu said quietly not breaking eye contact with him yet.

Wakka laughed and took Vidina from her arms. "Where you learn to dance huh?"

Vidina marveled at the new height from Wakka's arms. "Da zoo."

Wakka laughed. "Dancin' like those monkeys we saw eh?" Vidina nodded quickly. "Alright well go den, show off." He placed the youngster down and just like that he ran off. Wakka turned to Lulu. "Ay Lu, you lookin' good ya?"

Lulu laughed a little, Wakka was horrible at flirting, it's a wonder they made it this far. She looked around. "Okay, so who is here?" The living room looked surprisingly full with familiar faces.

"You mean is Tidus here."

Lulu gave him a look. "Well?"

Wakka nodded and pointed off toward the huddle of blitzers. "Come say hi." Lulu nodded and accepted the arm Wakka offered her. The Goers quieted down when they saw Lulu come over with Wakka. Tidus gulped and smiled widely.

"Lulu."

Lulu looked him up and down briefly. He looked the exact same yet somehow different, maybe it was the bit of blonde scruff on his chin. Maybe it was the well fitting blue button down. Or maybe t was the touch of stardom; he was technically a celebrity now. She smiled lightly. "Well it appears you haven't changed much."

Tidus was trying to decide if that was a compliment or not. "You still like black." He chanced a joke at Lulu's outfit.

Lulu raised an eyebrow and the blitzers around them winced. "You still need a haircut."

Wakka laughed. "Alright Lu." He gently guided his wife away.

"He does." Lulu shrugged.

Wakka laughed. "You scarin' him."

She shrugged. "He should be scared, wait until Rikku gets down here."

"Where is the birthday girl anyway?" Wakka looked around.

"Upstairs still."

Wakka nodded and then looked about. "And Dr. P?"

"With your roommates." Lulu motioned before leaving his side to say hi to some of her and Yuna's fashion friends. It was funny that she still called them his roommates. Wakka looked about before heading to the kitchen.

Yuna came downstairs then and Tidus excused himself to go and talk to her when he felt someone's hand on his shoulder stopping him. He turned to see his old co-worker Paine Kerrigan in the flesh. He had noted that the last two years of not really being in contact had done her well. She seemed…healthier, happier, if that made any sense at all, especially referring to Paine. Tidus began to smile because he honestly was happy to see her but then soon found himself frowning when she pushed him away from the living room and outside into the chilly backyard.

"I know you trying to get me alone for years now but—"

Paine rolled her eyes. "Shut up."

Tidus laughed that annoying laugh of his and adjusted his shirt. "Okay so what—"

"Look." Paine motioned to the inside. Tidus peered and sighed with relief when he saw Braska and Yuna laughing. He whirled around and looked to Paine.

"No one said he was coming!"

Paine folded her arms. "You really thought that?"

"Okay no, but I mean…shit." He ran a hand through his blonde hair and looked to Paine again wondering if she already knew about that morning.

Paine shook her head a little amused at how badly he was freaking out. "Look Teedus, tonight's about Rikks and Vid."

"I know but—"

She pointed at him. "Don't make me have to remind you."

He sighed and nodded noting the softness in her voice when she said that. It was rare with Paine, even rarer when she spoke to him, but he knew it meant she held zero real malice behind her words. "I just wanna talk to her, that's what I was going to do this morning but…"

Paine chuckled a little. "I heard."

"What did she say?"

Paine shrugged. "I don't know." She looked at him for a second. "You fuck those fans?"

Tidus had forgotten how blunt Paine could be. "What do you think?" He challenged.

Paine shrugged. "No judgment."

Tidus looked back at the party inside. "I had everything, but I still missed her." He shook his head and looked back at Paine. "I just want to tell her I'm glad Alex Shaw got that order, I just…I just wanna talk to her, if it's no judgment why is everyone out to get me?"

Paine pointed to herself. "No judgment from me."

Tidus sighed.

The smoky haired woman stuffed her cold hands in her pockets and began toward the sliding glass door, she paused though. "No idea how, but you have a fourth chance, don't fuck it up." She went inside then leaving the blonde to his thoughts.

##

"Hey."

Rikku turned to her left and smiled softly. "Hey."

Paine's hands were in her pockets and her cheeks were a little red, sure signs that she had been outside talking with her roommates while Gippal smoked his cigarettes and Nooj smoked his pipe.

"You good?"

Rikku nodded and motioned to the kitchen where a group of blitzers and fashion forward thinkers emerged with drinks in their hands. "Pour me a drink?" Vidina had passed out in his father's arms shortly after eating cake with Rikku, poor little thing had hardly lasted an hour.

Paine nodded and headed toward the kitchen with a hand on the small of Rikku's back. The large family kitchen was empty now, and littered with the occasional glass bottle of amber liquid. Paine bypassed the collection that was out and found Rikku's present from her father stowed away in the cabinet. "You think he'll get you a bottle every year?" She jested motioning to the spiced Al Bhed rum she was holding. It was small and dainty, like her wife, clearly a specialty make.

Rikku leaned up against the small island near where Paine was getting her a glass. "That's exactly as old as I am today." She pointed out with a smile. "Pop thinks it's witty."

Paine chuckled as she peeled the shiny green label off the cap so it would open. "Well you Al Bhed love your rum."

The blonde watched Paine's gentle pour. "I think I'll have dinner with him this week…" She bit her lip. "Probably Tuesday night, around 6:30…" A lie. Rikku swallowed quickly not liking the way it tasted on her tongue.

Paine nodded, as agreeable as always. It frustrated the blonde a little.

"Do you want to come?"

Paine shook her head and handed the glass to Rikku before capping the rum back up and putting it where she found it. "Why? So we can _bond_ again?"

Rikku let the rum slip over her tongue before smacking her lips. "He loves you! What are you saying?"

Paine shook her head no. "You go, I'll go to Judo or something. Big Mack has a match coming up at the beginning of February she has to train for."

Rikku took another sip. "Oh alright."

"So." Paine clasped her hands together causing Rikku to raise a brow. "I wanna give you something."

The blonde's face lit up. "Is it my present!"

Paine nodded with a teasing enthusiasm. "It's your present."

Rikku grinned widely and took a few healthy gulps of the rum and let it burn her throat before placing the glass down and extended her hand playfully. "Take me to it."

Paine chuckled at the show and grabbed Rikku's hand and kissed it causing the blonde to giggle. "It's at home."

Her face fell. "Wha?"

Paine shrugged. "I wanted to give it to you privately."

A sly grin fell on the blonde's lips. "Why Mrs. Kerrigan, what makes you think I want it privately?"

"I hope I am not interrupting anything lovelies."

Paine rolled her eyes and Rikku turned and chuckled, the rum finally finding a place in her conscious. "Old Iron Panties." She tilted her head in greeting.

Juliann Leblanc in all her exaggerated glory huffed as she waltzed into the kitchen. "Twenty Five years or not, you still lack a great deal of respect." It was clear she was unaffected by the greeting though. Rikku's words had lost their edge a very long time ago, she was honestly glad the youngest Bayla was feeling well enough to joke considering her recent loss.

Rikku giggled again and turned to Paine. "No one told her it's my birthday." She whispered. Rikku could do no wrong today; it was like the law or something.

Leblanc moved to where the duo was standing to pour herself something to drink as well. "Now that the little one is down I'll just help myself." She glanced at the two. "Enjoy it for now Rikku Milan, after today your birthday cake will begin to taste bitter." She raised her glass lightly in a mock cheers with a half playful half truthful smile before leaving to return to the party.

Rikku grabbed her glass of rum and took a sip. "What a drag."

Paine chuckled. "Tell me about it."

"You think she and Pops are okay?"

Paine nodded, already knowing to reach into the hiding spot of her wife's birthday present to pour more. "He seems as happy as anyone could be married to her."

The joke made Rikku laugh a little. "Don't let me end up like Dragon Lady."

"Nah." Paine dismissed easily before tossing an arm around Rikku's shoulders. "I'm glad you're having fun though."

The genuine comment made Rikku smile. "Did you smoke?" Paine shook her head no. "Why are you so…happy then?" She poked at Paine's side.

"Cause, you're really gonna like you're present this year."

Rikku tilted her head and studied Paine's features. Her eyes always gave her away. They were bright with mischief. "You weren't at the gym were you?"

Paine shook her head no. "Not when you called."

**AN: So what did Paine actually get Rikku for her birthday? Why is Rikku lying about what she's doing on Tuesday? Will Paine drive Lulu to the hospital? When is Braska gonna come clean about Auron? Some of these answers will be dealt with if not all in the next chapter. This chapter was a bit filler-y, I know, but it needs to happen to set everything up. And believe me it's about to go down. Also so sorry this took so long to update, hope you all are still there!**

**KathleeenDee**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

"Goodnight"

Goodnight…

She would admit only in the recesses of her mind that she was worth way more than the gentle wave and unsure smile. She had hyped herself up in her mind, thought of circumstances where she'd tell him off or just embrace him. All of that hard work now for what?

It was the only word he had said to her all night.

Rikku watched Yuna a moment, the blonde had Paine's leather jacket hung over her once bare shoulders and was holding a bag in each hand, one was her lime green tote that had her change of clothes from earlier, the other a plastic bag from the local market with two healthy sized slices of cake, and leftovers inside.

They had been standing next to each other when Tidus smiled and waved, but she knew that goodbye was for her cousin. They had expertly avoided one another the whole night. She wondered how that must have felt; knowing that you loved someone, and being in the same damn house as that person, yet somehow not being able to even speak to each other. She shrugged her shoulders gently so the upturned lapels of Paine's jacket tickled her cheeks and faintly engulfed her senses with her wife's scent.

Yuna turned then to look at her cousin. "Cold huh?" She asked mistaking the small gesture as Rikku being cold. "Let's wait inside for her?" Lulu and Wakka were still awake straightening up. They pretty much forced everyone to not help them, it was late and everyone had work in the morning except Wakka, so he was on cleaning duty.

Rikku agreed and turned with Yuna to step back inside the warm house, a thought crossed her mind then and she smiled and nudged the brunette. "You didn't say it back."

"Hm?"

"Goodnight."

Yuna must have realized it then too for she stopped in her tracks on the top step of the small stoop. "No, no I didn't.

The sound of a familiar engine caught Rikku's senses and she turned and motioned to Paine coming up the street in her manual two door. "He was well behaved tonight too." She pretended to wave her wife down like someone would a taxi in the city's busiest afternoon.

Yuna watched her breath escape in vapor as she let out a laugh. "Right." She hadn't remembered even seeing the blonde man pick up a glass. Instead he talked strategy with the blitzers and played monster truck with Vidina , who he seldom got a chance to see. This hardly seemed like the famous Abe who had flocks of women being thrown at his feet. It reminded her of when they were in college and he was such a dork.

Paine pulled the car up to the front of the house and quickly jumped out. It was fucking cold without her jacket, and though she usually loved this weather she was not about to stand in it all night with only a flimsy button down on. She got up the stoop and wordlessly took the bags from Rikku's hands.

"Pypo I left my car at Yunie's old place."

Paine nodded. "Gip left with Nooj so unless Yuna you're too drunk to drive—"

Yuna chuckled. "I'm as sober as a summoner." Her slight buzz from the red wine she had earlier was gone. With a tight hug for the birthday girl Yuna smiled at Paine "Get her home safe."

The Judo fighter nodded and then looked up the block where Yuna's car was parked. It wasn't far at all, but it was covered heavily by winter trees with thick leafs "I'll walk with you."

"Okay okay, well go and be a gentleman and give me your keys, I'm cold." Rikku teased as she clutched the jacket closer to herself.

"It's open." Rikku nodded and after another hug to her cousins she quickly made her way down the stoop and jumped into the passenger seat. As she warmed up a little she watched Paine and Yuna walk side by side to Yuna's car. She couldn't imagine a more perfect sight. She wondered if they still talked about her, if they developed like interests passed her. She hoped so. With a content sigh Rikku Milan stretched her limbs and kicked out of her heels. When Paine finally got back into the car she turned slightly and smiled.

"Pypo." She whined just for the sake of seeing how Paine would react.

Paine quickly buckled her seatbelt and then shifted gears and glanced at her wife as she pulled out. "Mm?"

"He said goodbye to her." She caught sight of the time on the clock then. 2:30AM on a Monday morning. "…I think they'll have three kids."

Paine chuckled. "Just cause he said bye?"

She yawned. "Mhm, that's how it works…..Then I'll be the cool Aunt."

Paine glanced at her again. "You already are, babe."

"Aawww."

"You think Viddy had a good time?"

Rikku sat up some and laughed. "Are you kidding? He practically fell asleep with cake in his mouth."

Paine nodded and eased the car to a stop at the light. "He asked me something today."

"He asks you things every day." She was warming her hands near the air vent.

Paine removed her hand from the steering wheel as she waited for the light to turn. Vidina did ask a lot of questions. "Yeah." She gently tapped the clutch and looked over at Rikku again. "Lulu asked me something today too…" This perked Rikku's attention, she knew all that boding would yield something. The light turned green.

"Oh?"

Paine nodded. "Asked if I'd drive her to the hospital…"

"Oh…"

The car was silent for a moment. "I think I will." Paine finally said. "I think I'll do it." Rikku nodded silently. "I won't go see him or anything but…She's been stressed and I guess if I needed a kidney we could possibly be a match so I'll have this one over her."

Rikku laughed at how seriously thought out the response was. "Your kidneys are fine now." She had made sure her love drank more water than necessary. The bullet that started their relationship had rendered three percent of her left kidney unusable and she never let her forget it. Rikku let Paine use this excuse though, it was as clear as day that Paine didn't want her making a big deal out of it.

"Yeah, thanks to Em." She needed a minor procedure last year to remove another long term stent they placed in her a few years back. Elma had earned her scrubs and was lead surgeon on the case since she'd been following it since the whole thing happened.

"Where is she anyway? Gippal looked sad."

Paine let up a laugh at her trying to get details. "He wasn't sad Ri."

"Well what do you call that puppy dog look huh? I'm gonna text her tomorrow." The blonde made the mental note.

"Go ahead."

"What does that mean?"

Paine shrugged and laughed at her accusatory tone. "Go ahead?" She yawned despite her best efforts then.

Seeing this Rikku smiled softly and reached a hand to Paine's shoulder to massage the hair at the nape of her neck. "Sleepy?" She looked it.

Paine tried to keep her eyes open as Rikku teased her. "No."

"No?" She began to grin.

Paine shook her head and finally glanced at Rikku when the light in front of them turned red. She took her right hand off the clutch and rested it on her upper thigh. The two studied each other for a moment until Rikku finally spoke.

"The light's green Pypo."

Paine reached for the clutch and chuckled to herself. Rikku looked really pretty tonight, she looked pretty every day but when she dressed up for anything in particular she couldn't help but stare at her a little more; silently wondering how the hell she got so lucky that all Rikku wanted to do was look at her too.

Paine pulled into Rikku's parking space since the blonde left her car at Yuna's. She grabbed her keys out of the ignition and was quick to get out and help Rikku with the bags of goodies. On their way toward the elevator Paine motioned down the hall at the mailboxes with her chin. "Can you get the mail?"

Rikku turned to go down the hall. She rolled her eyes at Paine for just entering the elevator and letting it close. "What a jerk." She mused as she dipped into her tote's front pocket to get Little Puppy out. She had broken the little game for good a few years back by spilling water on it but never once has she opted for a lighter load on her key chain. The toy was scratched a bit here and there and was missing a little paint near the front monitor, but it made her smile like no other when she actually looked at it.

Upon opening the little slot designated to their apartment Rikku let out a little laugh. "Okay so maybe she's not a jerk." She said to herself as she pulled out the single red rose with a long stem.

She found her wife in the kitchen munching on some of the leftover food from dinner as she made space for it in their fridge. It wasn't a hard job since they hardly had anything in there. Just some tea, eggs, cheese, a bunch of Al Bhed condiments on the door, beer, and cured meat. Sunday was usually grocery day, but since today was full someone would have to do something about this.

Rikku closed the front door and locked it before shrugging her tote off her shoulder along with Paine's leather jacket and making her way into the small kitchen. "There was no mail." She announced while Paine's head was in the fridge putting things away. He judo fighter had yet to look up.

"What!?" She jerked her head up quickly but forgot she was in the fridge and managed to rattle the large appliance by hitting her head on the chilled roof. "Fuck!" Paine rubbed at her head as she backed out of the fridge. She had given the mail guy twenty bucks to come back after his very first shift and put that in there!

Rikku laughed but reached her empty hand out to steady her wife. "Hey I was just kidding!" She waved the flower in her left hand and gave her a soft smile. "You're so sweet."

Paine noticed the flower and relaxed a little. "I was gonna say…"

Rikku twirled the stem with a little smile in place. Her eyes said she was tired, but her smile was well worth the twenty now that Paine was there to see the reaction. "When did you even have time to do this?"

Paine leaned her right shoulder against the fridge. "Don't worry about that. Do you like it? Showy's wouldn't have lasted."

Rikku nodded and tiptoed slightly to reach Paine's lips in a soft kiss that lasted a little longer than she intended. It was like the earliest of rains, light and feathery, but warm and promising. "This works." Rikku nodded when she pulled away just a little. She watched Paine bite her lip gently

"Good." It was low and sexy and she could tell Paine hadn't intended it that way but couldn't really help it either.

The blonde only smiled, she became suddenly very aware that they were all alone here, and more importantly that her period had ended early yesterday. She waited for Paine to say something more but the taller woman just stood there. "Paine?"

Paine shook her head at her running thoughts and ran a hand through her hair. "Damn baby."

"What?"

"It's late and all but…" She walked the tiny distance between them and held Rikku's elbows. "But I wanna make you feel good." Her touch was gentle as she moved a small bit of hair out of Rikku's face next. "Like I wanna get you relaxed…but we have work and y'know…" She motioned wordlessly into nothingness which Rikku assumed was referring to her female troubles.

"I'm not bleeding anymore…"

Paine stopped her thoughts. "What? No I wasn't talking about fucking…I mean I was thinking about it but I wasn't…wait…you're not on it anymore?"

Rikku furrowed her brows. "Well then what are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about making you feel good." Now Paine seemed confused.

Rikku shook her head. "Anytime you say that you already have a hand up my shirt!"

"Not true." Rikku crossed her arms and gave her a look. "Okay silently true, but I'm not talking about fucking—"

"Stop calling it that."

Paine smiled. "About making love to you."

"Well then what are you talking about? You're confessing me on my birthday, that's not allowed."

Paine took the rose out of her hand and rested it on the countertop. "Come on." She slipped her hand in hers and led her to their bedroom, a place Rikku hadn't set foot into since early that morning when Paine made her breakfast in bed. That fact dawned on the blonde when she noticed the usually cracked door completely closed shut. "I wanted to do something you'd like while you were hurtin' yknow?" She knew that Rikku got pretty bad cramps sometimes, and if she had been out on her feet all day playing the lovely birthday girl that she was then she'd be so tired and in need of some tender love and care. Paine opened the door and took Rikku's little intake of breath a good sign.

She had remade their bed in red silky sheets and strung the room perimeter with white Christmas tree lights that roamed like a long snake along the walls and door moldings, On their bed was a huge basket from that smelly mall store that Rikku loved so much, Bath and Body Dreams apparently sold all the right things in one, go figure. The basket was filled with oils and lotions, shampoos, and even a complimentary pair of winter mittens and a scarf. Next to the basket sat a huge box of Rikku's favorite chocolates, the ones she would send Paine on missions into Mi'ihen to buy when this time of the month was really kicking her butt. Then a simple card with "Rikks" written in Paine's elegant script sat between the basket and the chocolates.

Paine glanced at Rikku who was just staring at the transformed little room. "I knew you'd be tired, so I cleaned all the dust from the—"

"Cuase my nose." Rikku nodded remembering how she had been sneezing the night before.

Paine nodded. "And I went to get you your chocolates and the heating pad is in the kitchen ready to be nuked." She chuckled a little to herself when she realized it all really didn't matter. "I guess I can put it away."

Rikku looked over to her wife and grabbed a hold of her arm. "Pypo." She cooed.

Paine smiled softly down at her. "Was ready to rub your feet and everything." She whispered.

Rikku giggled. "Aw Pai." She pulled her close for a little kiss. "You couldn't find the blue sheets when you cleaned could you?"

Paine shrugged. "The red looked better." It was true, and also she couldn't make sense of their linen closet, she usually let Rikku just deal with it.

"I love you." She slid her arms around Paine's neck.

Paine slid one hand around her waist. "Happy Birthday Princess."

"Thank you." They shared a loving kiss then pulled away slowly. "But um…I want something else too." She whispered.

Paine instinctively licked her lips without noticing. "What do you want?"

Rikku slid her hands down the front of Paine's button down shirt until she got to the lapels, she gave them both a nice little tug before beginning on Paine's first button.

Paine reached for her own pants belt but was stopped by Rikku's hands. "I wanna do it." She explained as their eyes met. Paine let her finish unbuttoning her shirt and gently grazed her digits of the mounds that were Paine's perfectly shaped breasts. She looked up at Paine and smiled as her finger slid down her six pack and down to the loop of her pants. They locked eyes as Rikku unbuckled her belt and then unzipped the pants enough to fit her small hand in and boldly cup her wife's sex. She watched as Paine's eyes darkened a little and a little laugh escaped her parted lips.

"What are you looking for?" She husked as Rikku's nimble fingers bypassed the fabric of her panties.

Her smile was innocent. "Nothing." Her mind was racing though. Had she really not touched this in a month? Had it really been that long? Rikku briefly wondered what she would feel guilty about, she was a married woman for chocobo's sake. She missed Paine more than she had initially realized.

Paine bit the inside of her mouth to control her breathing a little when Rikku found her "nothing" and began to tease it. They stood there for at least a full minute. Rikku teasing the damp folds, and Paine taking it because she had missed this part of Rikku, and was glad she was feeling at least this much better. A minute though was long enough for Paine. She reached for Rikku's wrist to stop her and gently pulled her hand away. "Read your card." She murmured.

Rikku broke from her train of thought and tilted her head but got exactly what Paine had up her sleeve when she twirled her to face the bed but made it so she had to bend over right in front of the fighter to reach for it. She could feel her eyes on her as she leaned forward at the hips and grabbed the card off the bed. When she stood again Paine's arms were wrapped around her in a loving embrace from behind, she rested her chin over her shoulder and waited.

Rikku smiled widely at her actions as she opened the envelope and found the card inside. "Oh Paine a ducky!" She laughed a little at the card completely forgetting that a moment ago she was massaging her sex. She loved ducks and ever since their first date at the pond Pain got her little things every now and then with ducks on it. It was a playful reminder of Paine being romantic all those years ago. She opened the card and read it to herself.

_Rikks,_

_This is cheesy as fuck but I can't wait to spend twenty five years with you. You're amazing, and I love every day we spend together even if that means with each day we get older. Some things change, and some stay remarkably the same. You somehow manage to do both, and I love you for it. Happy Birthday._

_Paine. _

Rikku grinned and looked over her left shoulder. "I can't believe you cursed on a birthday card."

Pane cracked a little grin herself. "Had to keep my dignity."

"Pypo I love you." She sighed wondering what she was going to do with her little reformed badass.

Paine hugged to her body a little closer and pressed a kiss near her ear. "I love you too." She whispered. Rikku nuzzled her head back a little and Paine smiled and kissed her this time on the cheek, then on the lips.

"So now you try and make me feel good? Is that what's next?" She played coy.

"Try?" Paine seemed offended. "Baby you have no idea how horny I've been, it's happening." She walked her to the bed slowly, arms still wrapped around her. "You're gonna feel great."

Rikku laughed a little. "Mm, I should make you wait more often."

Paine shook her head no. "I think you'd have a very unhappy wife on your hands."

Rikku moved around in Paine's arms till she was facing her. She slipped her arms around her neck and hummed a little when Paine pulled their fronts together roughly. "Well I can't have my woman unhappy now can I?"

Paine shook her head quickly. "You'd freeze at night, and the garbage would never be taken out." They shared a small kiss.

Rikku couldn't help but chuckle despite the highly sexualized heat in the room. "You'd go on strike from your duties?" The back of her knees hit the mattress. "Oui ghuf paddan dryh du tu dryd pypo."

"Yeah? Why?" They stood there at the side of the bed, Paine's hands becoming alive and unzipping the back of Rikku's dress.

Rikku arched her chest into Paine's as she felt her wife's piano hands explore her exposed back. "Because some of those duties include making me feel good." She breathed when Paine unhooked her bra.

Paine let her hand squeeze Rikku's ass. While the other removed the bra and the top part of Rikku's dress so that the extra material hung at her waist like the shedding of a second skin. Paine leaned forward and kissed her collar bone then sucked gently at her neck. "So then be quiet and let me do my job." She murmured huskily. Rikku half moaned half laughed, an action that got her a wink from her love that warmed her heart and her core.

##

Paine welcomed the morning with her first cup of freshly brewed coffee. She was clad in simple baggy work out bottoms with a blue thermal on, and her socked feet ready to slip into her gym shoes at any moment. She was feeling good, great even. Paine hated to think that she needed anything, but it was clear that she did need Rikku. Not just sexually, though Paine would be lying to herself if she didn't say her wife was a bombshell in bed, but she needed her present, and ever since her grandmother was sent Rikku had been a little distant with her thoughts. It made sense that she would be, and Paine didn't want to push, she was just glad that they were able to be together again.

Just then the objects of her thoughts was thrust into the kitchen by the sheer fear of being late for work on an important day. Rikku was wearing high waisted beige slacks, a white blouse, and heels. Her hair was up today in a full bun, a sure sign that she didn't have enough time to let it dry to wear it out. On her right arm were three tamed silver bangles and on her left hand her sphere diamond wedding ring. The world had better watch out, because Rikku Milan Bayla-Kerrigan looked to be all business today.

Rikku went into the cupboard to grab her metallic pink thermos and it's lid. "Paine." She poured some hot water into the thermos after tossing a random tea bag in.

"Yes my love?" Paine joked as she took another sip of coffee.

Rikku grabbed two bananas off of the cluster sitting in their fruit bowl. She separated them and placed one in front of Paine. "Eat that, and put your shoes on, you have to drop me off remember?"

Paine nodded. "I know."

Rikku moved about the kitchen. "Well I'm going to be late if you're not ready now." She left the kitchen only to return a second later with a light brown leather bag. She opened it and put the banana in and then grabbed an apple out of the fruit bowl and put it in as well.

"You're not going to be late." Paine said calmly.

"Well are you ready?"

"Yeah."

"You're not wearing shoes, and wears your jacket, its cold outside." She moved toward the living room and checked her blueprint tube to make sure it was her work one and not the one with the sketches for the house she was renovating for Paine. She had made the mistake of bringing that one to work at least twice already. They were both the same grey and she never had them together at one time because then Paine would know she had more than one.

Paine took another long sip of her coffee and watched as the blonde ran about for a minute more. She rested her mug in the sink and grabbed her car keys and the banana. "I'm going to warm the car."

"I'm ready now." Rikku hiked her bag on her shoulder and waited by the door. Paine only laughed as she put on her shoes. "What's so funny Mrs. Kerrigan?"

Paine slipped on her last shoe and stood. "It's just that never in knowing you have you ever had to wait on me."

Rikku rolled her eyes but allowed herself to smile. "Well it just means you're getting old."

"That's not what you said last night." Paine smirked as they left the apartment. They got down into Paine's car quickly and Paine drove in the morning traffic in silence while Rikku chatted on the phone with Lucil as they went over their notes for that morning presentation. It was a comforting background noise Paine decided. She liked hearing business Rikku talk, it was hot.

"….Right so we'll lead in with that and then questions…..mhm…no I'm on the way, I left my car at Yuna's so I'm stuck with my wife driving and obeying all the traffic rules in Spira." Rikku shot Paine a look. If she had been driving they'd be there already, granted she'd get yet another moving violation. "Mhm….no William doesn't usually come in till nine…I know…We'll have to make him look good like always Luce…" She laughed. "No it's too cold to wear a skirt; the long johns will have to do."

Just then at a light Paine's cell began to ring. She glanced at the number and immediately picked it up. "Hey Big Mack….today? Well then okay….stay after for math tutoring though and then I'll pick you up….yeah…tell your mom so she doesn't worry….." She paused. It wasn't unlike Big Mack to call her in the morning on her way to school on the bus and ask Paine if they were triaining this afternoon or if she could pick her up, it was just today she sounded different. "Anything I need to know?" There was a silence, and then a simple no. "Okay I'll see you later then. Text me if anything….yeah…bye." Paine hung up the phone and quickly dropped it in her lap so she could shift gear at the right time.

"I have it all sketched out…yeah."

This traffic was ridiculous, all she needed to do was hop on the highway or Rikku wouldn't make it to work on time and she'd never hear the end of it. With that thought she picked up her cell again and scrolled through her contacts until she found the one she was looking for. It rang a couple times then finally picked up. "Hey Leon it's Paine…..Good, listen let's push the morning meeting back a little I'm stuck in traffic and I have to drop my wife off first….yeah ten is perfect. Alright…yeah bye." Paine hung up and went through a mental check list in her head of things she had to get done at work. The morning traffic wasn't getting any lighter with the minutes that passed and that's what gave Paine an idea. She tapped Rikku's knee to get her attention and then motioned to a subway station entrance not even 20 feet away from them. Getting what she meant Rikku nodded and began to gather her things.

"….Luce, yeah…I'll call you when I'm in my office okay? Yeah…bye." She hung up her cell and watched Paine fish into her wallet for her metro card.

"This isn't going anywhere." Paine motioned to the cars in front of them. "You remember which transfer it is from here right?" She had taught Rikku How to use the rail system like a real New Lucan years ago, it didn't mean she did it though.

"The 7 to the B train." It would drop her a block away from her office, and though it would work in this situation driving was always usually faster and what Rikku preferred, call her spoiled she didn't care.

Paine nodded. "Yeah."

Rikku took the metro card and leaned in to kiss her. "Poa, so tynmehk."

"Bye babe." Paine watched her hop out the car and start for the rail station. She was pretty sure Rikku had made it to work before she even moved a foot on the street.

##

Keira smile softly at the knock at her open dressing room door. "Carlito."

Carlo smiled back and entered the small room. "Some of the guys are getting burgers from down the street, you want one?"

"No, thank you." She nodded as she went back to reviewing her notes for tomorrow's sound check. They went live this weekend for their winter production and she needed everything to be perfect.

Carlo looked about the small room to the vanity mirror where an unfinished bagel from that morning sat. She was a workoholic, a beautiful one, married to her arts like it was all she had left. It's all he had ever known about Keira Kerrigan. Years spent trying to peel back at her exterior had proven rewarding and then again disheartening. When was she going to give herself a break, and with whom? Would it be him? Carlo examined his appearance in the mirror then.

"Maybe we should get a bigger one." Keira spoke up from reading her lyrics.

"Huh?" Carlo looked back to the beauty hunched over her notes.

"The mirror." Keira jested before looking up at him with a soft smile. "For your huge actor ego."

He laughed a little at the unexpected joke, she was just witty like that, he wondered why he wasn't expecting it. "What do you want then? We'll ditch the crew and eat…bagels, you love bagels."

Keira stood then. "Go, I have other engagements."

He furrowed his brow wonder what that meant. "Lunch with Paine?" He liked the little Keira look alike, knowing her seemed to ease Keira's initial anxiety about settling in New Luca.

Keira reached for her purse on the vanity counter and simply shook her head. "Paine Amelia works today." And would not be caught dead going where she was going anyway.

Sensing that it was private Carlo nodded. "Well then I'll see you later." They spent almost all their free time together but he still didn't know too much when she didn't want him to.

"Promptly at four please." She warned.

Carlo chuckled. "Maybe a bigger mirror for your director ego."

Keira shook her head but smiled. "There isn't one big enough." She jested back before grabbing the old book she was so intently studying when he came in. She tucked it under her arm and led her co-star and best friend out of the dressing room.

The subway was packed with familiar strangers. She had been taking the same train to work for the past five years now; it seemed even the new people looked familiar. She recognized their hopeful faces in her own many years ago. Some even recognized her. Carlo usually got a kick out of having people ask for his autograph, Keira seemed indifferent. A signature, as proof maybe that they had been in her presence. She didn't understand what had been so great about her before, She sung, quite well, she acted too, better than a lot of film stars, but did a signature showcase that? Maybe she would walk with tickets to give out, maybe that'd be better than her simple name on a napkin, slip of mail, or metro card.

Keira adjusted her purse on her shoulder as the train car rattled along and stopped at stop after stop. Finally the train ride didn't seem so mundane when she passed her usual stop to her walk up apartment in Bingintem Avenue. Suddenly she was reminded why she hadn't eaten her entire bagel or why she opted not for burgers or anything for that matter.

She was nervous.

With a composed hand though, she slid her old leather bound lyric book out from under her arm and flipped backward to a particularly worn page with new blue sticky notes littered around it. She read one.

_Lighting: Exchange lighting to each voice…separately then throughout…_

Another reminded her to make sure to write piano tabs for the chorus

One was labeled Carlo, and reminded the singer to remind him to be ready for the immediate scene that followed.

Keira lifted a sticky note to read the faded black ink in her hand writing and was immediately brought back to the lines. How foolish they were, yet how scary and real it felt to feel that foolishness again sitting on this train heading to the upper west side of the city.

_Flash Back _

_She sat up in her limp mattress, her young back leaned against the make shift bed frame, the sheets were so cold they felt like pastry dough. Nothing like the rich velvet they seemed to be only months before as they made love here. A young Keira felt ashamed, felt alone, but even worse, felt like the child he had just accused her of being. Naively writing was the only real thing she could do without crying herself, and her unborn child to sleep. Maybe her mother was right._

_She had just told him_

_**The sky looks passed….the wind talks back**_

_She had just told him she were pregnant._

_**My bones are shifting in my skin, and you my love are gone….**_

_He had left_

_**My room feels wrong….the bed won't fit.**_

_But really what had she expected? Him to love her like he said he did, to leave his comfortable life for her? A girl with no direction…._

_**I can not seem to operate…and you my love are gone….**_

##

"Aye Lu."

Lulu sighed.

_You love him, You love him. He's handsome and a great father and you love him…._

"Wakka what is it?" It was his fifth time calling and she was getting annoyed..

"Uh…." Wakka stared at his wife's mother. "Come home." This lady still scared him.

Now she knew he had been hit with one too many blitzballs. "Wakka enough! Has it ever occurred to you that I am busy? Do we need to talk about this agai—"

"Yuh Ma's here."

Lulu paused. "At the house….with you?"

"With me." Wakka nodded slowly hoping she got that he was freaked out.

"Where's Vidina Mateo?"

"Wit Tidus at the store, I sent 'em to get fruit for snack time ya, and then I called you to make sure it was alright he had dem little prickly pears." Vidina loved those things, but one time a thorn got stuck in his baby gums and he wouldn't stop crying. Wakka felt like the worst father in the world for that happening under his watch.

Lulu glanced over at Yuna across the large shared office. The brunette motioned for her to sit back down. Lulu nodded getting already what she was saying. "Wakka give her the phone."

Wakka walked over to the older woman and handed her the phone. "You sure you don't wanna sit down ma'am?"

Ellen regarded the broad shouldered Besaidian her daughter chose with narrow eyes. "Ma'am?"

Wakka scratched the back of his head nervously. "Lu's Mom…" She didn't say anything. "Mrs. Moore….."

Ellen sighed and waved him off before bringing the phone to her ear. "Well he plays a good nanny the boy isn't even here."

Lulu sighed. "Mother how come you didn't call?"

"Do I have to call to see my own grandson!?" Just then the front door opened and Tidus and Vidina came in laughing and holding bags of candy.

"So this candy was cheaper man, don't tell the wicked witch from the upper west side." Tidus explained with a laugh but paused when he saw what was unmistakably Lulu's mother standing there with Wakka nowhere in sight.

Vidina giggled. "Ganma! Padweena gots me sweeties, wook!"

"And who are you?" Ellen questioned accusingly. He seemed vaguely familiar.

He pointed to himself. "Vidina's Godfather….Tidus….Meadows…ma'am."

Ellen narrowed her eyes at him too. "Tidus Meadows." Had he seen a comb?

Lulu raised an eyebrow. "Tidus?"

Yuna looked over. "Tidus?"

Tidus nodded. "Nice to meet you….again."

##

She watched her daughter's eyes brighten a little. All she had done was say hello.

The infamous Paul Moore looked nothing like she had expected. He was sitting up in bed looking quite healthy. His black hair cut and his chin clean shaven. It wasn't until he let up a small smile that she noticed how difficult it was for his entire face to participate.

"Keira." It was hoarse. He expected to see Paine before her, and that was insane thinking in itself.

The room had thickened considerably since she entered, and even though having trouble breathing was nothing new, this was almost painful. She looked well and he wanted to tell her that. An immediate shame fell upon him when he remembered his wife had left to simply get lunch before returning later. She had hardly left his side since the stroke. Seeing Keira Kerrigan standing here in her simple clothes had made him instantly forget about Ellen Moore. She was a witch; it was the only way to explain how she so easily made him feel then and now. All she needed to do was walk into a room. In fact, that's all she had done in the first place. Over the years though he realized his shame, he loved two women, and ruined both their lives in different ways. His feeling toward the songstress now were that of memories.

"Sit."

Keira looked toward the door. "I'd rather not." She declined gently.

"Ellen stepped out." His speech was muffled.

"Ah." She nodded once wondering when the screaming and throwing of chairs would start.

The room fell quiet again. She hadn't seen to Paul, let alone spoken to him in years. This was suddenly the worst idea she had ever had. The artist in her knew it was important for this weekend though, but little Keira, seventeen year old Keira, she didn't know what to do with her hands. That's who she was channeling but wow did it feel strange to be here again.

Suddenly something changed in Paul's eyes. "Is Paine well?" Why else would she visit? Surely not to see if her were okay.

Keira thought of her last conversation with Paine Amelia. How she didn't want to come here. Her eyes, just as her father's, gave her true intentions away to those who was close enough to her to read them She was just scared of what she'd feel, hoping that either death or regaining health would swoop and make the decision for her. "Paine Amelia is doing well… she married." She briefly wondered if anyone had told him.

He nodded once, He had always like Rikku Milan and though he probably wasn't allowed to feel this way he was glad for them. "Good."

"I came to…prepare." She said honestly.

Paul studied her briefly. Wondering what she meant but then nodded. He couldn't help but feel cheated, but he swallowed it. Keira had always been honest with her intensions. "Invalids on ice?"

The joke made her laugh and then catch herself. It was as if she had been choked silent. "No." Was her studied response. "Lady Yunalesca." The title of the grand winter production she directed and was set to star in. It was meant to be the tell all and behind the curtain story of what really happened to Spira's first High Summoner from beginning summoner training, meeting Zaon, and her death and it's truths. She had done her research, but knew many Yevonites would be outraged at would they chose to ignore about the young summoner's death. It would either be a hit, or cost her career.

##

Annie gave her best fake smile as she greeted the short woman. "Mrs. Kerrigan is taking a call right now." So go away and never come back.

Rikku tried to decide if she should convince Paine to fire her or not. "She'll want these for sure." The blonde replied cheerily as she motioned to large edible arrangement of all the sweets she knew Paine loved. It was like a gingerbread man fucked a candycane lady and they put all their babies in basket and sold it…sorta Anyway Paine loved gingerbread and she always stole at least one candy cane off the Christmas tree at her father's house. She only had an hour for her lunch break and she was wasting her time on this hater. Rikku smiled politely. "I can just give her a call if there is a problem.

Annie shook her head no. The last thing she wanted was Paine being upset because she didn't let her alleged wife in. "I'll walk you to her office." She smiled again and Rikku smiled right back.

Paine was staring at the employee schedule in front of her when the door knocked. "Come in." She muttered as she tried to think of a better way to give Zen the vacation days she requested without throwing everyone in that department off.

Annie poked her head into the small office. "Someone's here to see you, boss."

Paine looked up then and Annie would be lying if she said she missed the excited flicker in her usually stoic auburn eyes when the blonde popped into the office with the basket. Paine smiled and stood from her desk and nodded at Annie to leave. Annie nodded back and closed the door behind her. Paine crossed her arms. "What's this?"

Now that they were alone Rikku smiled and closed the distance between them. "I never forget, but somehow you do every year." She extended her arms for Paine to take the little card off of the basket and read it.

Paine let up a little laugh and complied with her wife's odd behavior. "Pypo…"She read aloud. "I'm so dang proud of you, and so dang in love with you, so I brought you candy and cookies because they were the only controlled substances I know you allow yourself these days. Six Years Strong. Love, Wifey Number 1." Paine laughed a little. "Damn babe." She looked at the basket. "I forgot." She laughed a little at herself. She never forgot how every day was harder or easier, but she did always forget when the constant uphill battle started. On Rikku's Birthday.

Rikku put the basket down and smiled. "You liked the card? I didn't know if it were okay…to joke…"

Paine nodded as they subtracted the space between them. . "Yeah it was funny." Paine was so caught off guard by how she felt for Rikku surprising her that she didn't know what to say really.

Rikku wrapped her hands around Paine's waist. "I know you still struggle." She whispered. Paine looked down at her. "You don't say anything but I know when you don't sleep." Her tone was soft and her eyes were genuine, and a little serious. "I'm real proud of you though, and no matter what I will always be, kay?" She nodded once and Paine did too. "C'mere." They hugged one another.

"Thanks." Paine whispered truly grateful that she had this woman in her life to keep her honest.

##

He looked wary. "So you have a plan."

Braska nodded. "There is a link, there always is." He paused. "How are you liking your old office?"

Jenkins chuckled. "Well it's just as small as I remember it."

"And your name?"

"Leroy? Very creative." He placed the large stack of papers down that he was holding. "Yu really think this will work?"

Braska shook his head no. "He gave his share away but he's always here, he can't help it. It's the right thing to do though, however short." He untied his tie and sat before the huge stack. "This is just Paine's files. Where is Rikku Milan's?"

Jenkins waved a thin manila folder and placed it down. "They got married you say?" He didn't even understand how they even met with their backgrounds.

Braska nodded. "They care very strongly for each other." Failing would mean failing them both. He motioned for Jenkins to sit. "We need to go through this evenly. It will most likely take two days."

The young attorney sat and untied his tie just as his mentor had. Law had always been exciting to him, but this was different, he had somehow lost his way and needed to do right in order to fight for the right, he'd be a hypocrite any other way. "Okay."

##

Rikku smiled and looked around Paine's small office then back at her wife. "So this is your office?" Paine nodded. She had been here before. "Gimmie a kiss." Rikku winked.

Paine laughed a little but leaned in to kiss her briefly. It seemed Rikku had other ideas in mind though when she deepened the kiss. Paine's natural instinct was to kiss her back just as deeply, and she did until she realized where they were. "Whoa bab—" Rikku began to unbutton her own white blouse. "Hey hey hey." Paine grabbed her wife's and with wide eyes. "What are you doing?"

Rikku laughed. "It's hot in here; you guys don't have central air condition?"

Paine furrowed her brows. "Yeah. I can turn it on…." Rikku pushed her back slightly and then down to sit in her chair then straddled her lap. "Babe we can't do this here." She warned.

"I'm a sex-o-gram Pypo." Rikku joked flirtatiously before she leaned in kissed her gently. "I have to do what I get paid for." She kissed her again.

"This sounds a lot like prostitution Ri…" Paine thought aloud as Rikku kissed at her neck.

The blonde giggled quietly. "Okay so this wasn't the plan when I got here, but you can't say you don't like where it's going." She dipped her head to Paine collar and kissed at it over her athletic shirt. "Hm?"

Paine shook her head a little. "Rikku we can't do this here."

Rikku pouted. "But I wanna." She kissed her chin and then looked down into her face. "I missed you all day."

Paine wrapped her arms around her waist. "I missed you too, but people are gonna—"

"People? No one is here in this area, everyone is at lunch." Rikku kissed her again. She began to pout again. "Can I tell you a secret?" Paine nodded once. "Being proud of you makes me hot."

"How many jellybeans have you had today?"

"I know, it's a little weird." The blond laughed at herself "but y'know I'm proud of you Paine and I can't help but want you cause your all mine and no one else's."

Paine just stared up at her.

"I can't stop thinking about last night, don't make me beg." Rikku had had an itch all day and there was no way she could focus on work unless it was taken care of here and now. She blamed it on her hormones re-adjusting from the four days of craziness that some woman called menstruation. "Paine."

"Alright." She whispered and was met with a few excited kisses from her wife. "Shh hey hey." She locked eyes with Rikku. "We have to be quiet. Not Rikku quiet, cause that's not quiet."

"Hey."

"It's not."

Rikku nodded at Paine's serious face and leaned down and kissed her tenderly. "Yes boss lady ma'am."

Paine shook her head at how crazy this was but ran her hands up and down Rikku's small back. "Okay." She leaned up a little and claimed Rikku's lips. After a moment of being hyper aware of their noise level Paine let herself get lost in their kisses . She found herself extremely turned on, especially when Rikku rocked forward a little into her. Paine wasted no time in slipping her hand in Rikku's pants and coaxing her on her fingers. Rikku let out the neediest little noise when she lowered herself on her. Their eye's met and Paine stifled a grunt when she began to move on her, it was very obvious that she was trying to keep her pleasure on mute. Paine leaned forward and used her free hand to free Rikku's left breast and latched her hardened nipple in her mouth and sucked. Rikku closed her eyes tightly trying not to moan as she gripped Paine's shirt.

She smiled at Annie as she left the building ten very sexy minutes later.

##

"Dona Pilgrim."

Braska scratched his chin at the next picture Jenkins's handed to him. This was day two. "Who is she?"

"The last person to visit him."

"They're related." He read their similar grey eyes and noses.

"You're not going to believe how they know—"

"B! Look at this suit, Juliann says it looks…." Cid Bayla had just bust into Braska's office in a cream colored suit holding another plastic covered outfit from the cleaners under his arm. He immediately recognized Jenkins. "What the fuck is he doing here?"

Braska jumped from where he was sitting at a small round table in his large office. He expertly put his body in front of the open pictures and files so Jenkins could quickly hide them, but more importantly between Jenkins and Cid. "Hey relax."

"Relax? You want me to relax when the little prick who defended Auron is sitting playing cards with you? Yna oui syt!?" He had stood up in front everyone and made it seem like his little girl wanted everything that happened to her. Like she welcomed Auron's advances and used Paine to make him jealous. Cid's blood ran hot.

The fatherly rage was nothing to mess with and if Braska didn't think fast this whole thing would blow up in his face just when he was beginning to make progress.

##

Rikku pulled into the parking lot that Tuesday evening with sweaty palms. Work had been well, but despite her cheery mood from the day before Rikku couldn't help but feel the looming dome and uncertainty of today. It was almost as if her life would heavily depend on the answers these people gave her. She considered turning around several times, actually go have dinner with her father like she told Paine was going to do, feel normal, feel functioning for one more night. Make love to Paine without wondering if it'd just always be them two. She felt extremely selfish for not saying anything to her wife that morning as she drank her tea quietly. Paine had went on about training plans with Mackenzie, she seemed anxious to get out of work today and train more for the youngsters fight. She had just nodded, made a joke about vicarious living, kissed her lingeringly like she usually did when they said goodbye, give her something to hold onto till later that evening. They couldn't keep their hands off each other since rekindling their sex life Sunday night. Would she want to touch if she found out she was hollow? That she lied about a silly dinner? Did Paine even care?

"Rikku?"

She forgot she still had Yuna on the car phone. "Yup, I just pulled up."

"You'll be fine."

"Yeah. Thanks Yunie." She paused. "I'll call you when I get out kay?"

"Are you sure you don't want me to run over?" She could hear the worry in her tone.

"No no, I'm a big girl, I bet it's just Pop being wrong like he always is…"

"…Okay."

They hung up.

##

Paine came home and tossed her car keys on the coffee table and hit the little red blinking light on her and Rikku's answering machine before heading into the kitchen for some water. She sparred while Mackenzie did conditioning and she was feeling good.

"_First message received at 2:30PM today"…..Beeep_

"_Hi this is Clara from the St. Baaj Woman's Clinic and Fertility Center in Hadley." _

Paine closed the fridge and opened her water bottle as she walked toward the living room to stand behind the couch and listen. It was probably time for their annuals again.

"This message is for Rikku Milan Bayla, I just wanted to confirm your appointment at six thirty…"

She glanced at the time before taking another swig of water.

"—At our fertility clinic with Dr. Raymond. Give us a call back to confirm and see you later today with all the appropriate documents and insurance card. Thank you."

_Beeep_

The bottle never reached her lips a second time. Paine stood there for a moment before something fell into place in her mind. She wasn't calling for an annual and Rikku wasn't having dinner with her father. So she had lied…to go to a fertility clinic way across town….

Without her

##

Keira smiled at the three other singers for the final scene before entering the Zanarkand cloister of trials. "Okay so I will lead in and you all follow as planned." Yet another sound check. Something about this one felt different though. She had burst into tears while warming up in her dressing room just now, and call it insanity, but it's how Keira knew she would sing her best song from the heart.

Carlo sat in the crowd along with the GST owner and some more cast and crew. The piano began and Kiera audibly sighed before trying to make Yunalesca's pain and her own real and whole. She adjusted the mic that was attached to a hip amplifier clipped to her hip.

"_The sky looks pissed…the wind talks back….."_ She looked to the crowd. _"My bones are shifting in my skin…,"_ the trio joined in. _"And you my love are gone…."_

The room fell quest again and Keira sang by herself. _"My room feels wrong….the bed won't fit…. I can not seem to operate."_ The trio joined. "And you my love are gone." She alone sang the chorus. _"So glide away on soapy heels and promise not to promise anymore, and if you come around again then I will take, then I will take, the chain from off the door…"_

She looked over at Carlo with sad eyes for he was her Lord Zaon in so many ways. _"I'll never say…that I'll never love, oh but I don't say a lot of things." _The trio joined _"and you my love are gone..."_ Keira looked back at the empty audience. _"So glide away on soapy heels ad promise not to promise anymore and if you come around again then I will take the chain from off the door…" _She began the chorus again but turned and pointed to the first member of the trio then a moment the second, and then a moment later the third. All women sang their parts in a delayed fashion that made the original song sound like the most beautiful chaos that was meant to clutter a seventeen year old Keira and Lady Yunalesca's mind. All were firm save for Kiera's which was shaking as the three of them finally caught up in time and lyric and dropped her off to whisper the last line alone. _"Then I will take….the chain from off the door…."_

##

She hadn't bitten her nails since freshman year of high school, yet here she was, so nervous she could throw up her own spleen or something. Rikku took a break from looking at the clock to look about the jam packed waiting room. They were all sterile? Or where they just having abortions… maybe an STD? Rikku sighed heavily and looked up at the clock in the corner of the room. She suddenly felt someone sit beside her. Maybe they were here for an abortion. Rikku turned briefly to maybe get a better read of what troubled this person until she realized she was staring into deep crimson eyes, _her_ deep crimson eyes.

"Paine." It was a gasp at root. She was the absolute last person she expected to be in that seat, and that alone made her feel ten times worse because that was Paine's rightful seat.

Her wife looked back at her, something different in her usually telling eyes.

"I…I'm…" Rikku stumbled over her thoughts. "Pai…"

Paine looked away from the attempt at explanations. She didn't want to hear why she was here, she'd find out soon enough.

**AN: The song Keira writes is "The Chain" by Ingrid Michaelson. It so perfectly fit this chapter that I had to add it. Reviews have been great motivators when I think no one is reading, so thanks to everyone with and without accounts who take the time to send their thoughts my way. :)**

**KathleenDee**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

The nurse pulled the probe out of Rikku's mouth and smiled. "Alright." She jotted down her internal temperature and dipped the probe into the sanitizer machine and wheeled it away with a nudge from her foot. "This all looks great; do the two of you have any questions before Dr. Raymond gets in?" Rikku shook her head no. The nurse turned to the other woman sitting in the corner of the room. From her posture she could tell that she never intended to be here, her face was set, and she had said nothing since the vitals examination started. The short blonde woman sitting on the edge of the exam bed would glance over at her every now and then, uncertainty in her Al Bhed eyes. They acted as if they were here for something much more brutal than a simple fertility consultation. Sterile or not this couple clearly should not be having kids. They couldn't even get along! Everyone had the right though, even queers. The nurse smiled sweetly though as she left the room.

The door finally closed, and they were alone for the first time since stepping foot in the St. Baaj Women's Center

Rikku looked at her hand, more importantly her wedding ring. She glanced at Paine, who was leaning back in her chair as if she gave zero fucks about what was said at all. She knew it was a defense mechanism, but years of using it had made her stare ice. Still, Rikku felt like she needed to explain herself. The blonde shifted and the sound over her paper one size fits all chastity skirt rubbed against the parchment like lining of the exam bed. "I know you're mad I didn't tell you—"

"Didn't tell me _what_?" Paine bit.

"You must be confused." She shook her head harshly at what Paine's unsaid words accused her of.

Paine sat up a little in her chair. "I don't know that I am." She had been holding back saying anything to Rikku, mostly because her mind was running in circles at the reason for the secret visit, and a little bit of her was scared shitless about what this meant. "Have you been fucking someone?" Classic, but really it was all she could think of that would make any kind of sense. Rikku had never been unfaithful, but her wife was friendly, maybe she finally met someone at work or at the bars that returned that banter…

Rikku narrowed her eyes at Paine. "Yna oui uid uv ouin seht! Ruf tyna oui ajah ycg sa dryd?"

"Well you'd have to excuse me for a fucking second because the last time I fucking checked I couldn't get you pregnant so why the fuck else would you lie about coming to a Women's clinic!?" She jabbed a finger at herself too upset to control her tone. "And need to hide it from _me_!"

"I'm not fucking anyone Paine!" Rikku felt like throwing something at her. "I'm not pregnant either—"

"Oh well praise be to fucking Yevon."

Rikku growled a little. "Oui fanah'd cibbucat du veht uid!"

Paine lunged her body forward in her chair. "What the fuck was so important that you had to lie!" The room was quiet a minute as Rikku said nothing and looked away, she didn't want Paine to see her eyes well a little. Paine sat back in her chair seething. "You come to my job and fuck me knowing this shit Ri?" She took Rikku's silence as admittance. This was it? They finally make it through all this bullshit and Rikku cheated on her. If she's not pregnant than what was so important? What did she need to hide from her? All she could say was that she wasn't supposed to find out. What exactly did that mean? Was this a surprise? Were her friends and Keira gonna jump out from behind that old medical equipment in the corner and congratulate her on what? An early birthday? That didn't seem likely at all, and the fact that Rikku had turned away had to mean something bad. Paine suddenly became extremely anxious. She shifted in her seat and could feel her cheek flush and palms get sweaty. "Say something!"

"I might be sterile!" Rikku yelled back.

Paine froze.

"What?"

"I might be sterile, Paine." Rikku finally turned and looked at her now that the tears were under control. The room was quiet for a full minute as Rikku tried to read the new look on her wife's face. "…And yes I lied to you; but do you really want to talk about having kids right now?" Her stare was challenging even though she already knew the answer. "Or at all." She ventured when she noticed nothing about her demeanor had changed.

Sterile? She had heard "might" but she needed to be sure. Paine's tone had quieted down now as she spoke. "You…can't have kids?"

Rikku exhaled heavily. "I don't know." She watched as Paine ran a hand through her hair.

"You still should have told me." She looked around the room, Rikku silently wondered if she were looking for a window to jump out of with the haste in her action. Paine was just realizing that somehow the air had been cut off and it was getting hotter in the room.

"How? When you accuse me of cheating?" She shook her head. "That you could even think that…" She knew it was out of defense, but that didn't mean it hurt an ounce less.

Paine flung a hand to the front door. "They're handing out fucking buy one get one free abortions out there, what do you want me to think if you don't tell me anything?" She was starting to get a headache. "You came here alone to learn this shit?" She ran another hand through her hair. Okay so was she supposed to be mad that Rikku lied? Or mad that she didn't think she could handle talking to her about this? Should she be mad at all? Paine didn't know anything anymore. Rikku came here alone…that's all she could think about now. "Yuna?"

Rikku nodded signaling that the brunette knew she was here. "I told her not to come."

"Lulu?"

Rikku shook her head no.

"_Me_?" Paine motioned to herself. You could hear the hurt in her voice now.

"I didn't want to scare you." She sniffled. "I'm sorry."

Paine sat back in her chair now. Something told her to let it go, something very strong in her gut said that she need not try and make Rikku feel even worse for lying. She would have carried on knowing this until when though? Paine thought it was common knowledge that Rikku would initiate the baby having conversation and Paine would follow. If she were sterile would Rikku just not have said anything? "Okay." She said simply.

Rikku looked back at her, doubt evident in her features. Just like that? Paine was about ready to hulk out and flip the char she was sitting in a minute ago, now she was forgiving her? "What?"

Paine sighed as she leaned her elbows on her knees and took a minute to get her thoughts together. "I can leave if you want me to…but I wanna y'know…" She motioned to the room. "I wanna stay." Their eyes met, and for the first time all evening Rikku recognized her wife.

"I…I didn't know how to bring it up…"

"I wouldn't know how to either." They weren't even having sex at the time! Her grandmother had just died! Paine hesitated before asking something else that had been on her mind. "Why do you think you might be…sterile?" Her wife was a very nurturing woman; the idea of her being sterile just didn't make sense.

"Pops was saying something that…" She shook her head at herself. "And now when I say it out loud I feel stupid."

Paine shook her head. "What did he say?" Before Rikku could open her mouth the door knocked and then opened revealing a simple looking woman in glasses and a white coat, she smiled at the two and struck out her hand for Rikku as Paine stood. "Rikku I presume, it's nice to meet you. I'm Irene Raymond."

"Hello." Rikku shook her hand and motioned to Paine who was now standing at her side. "This is my wife, Paine." It was her first time introducing Paine to someone they didn't know as her wife.

"Paine." Dr. Raymond seemed to be trying the name out in a polite way as if to commit it to memory. "Pleased to meet you."

Paine nodded at the greeting. "Hi." Dr. Raymond was what you called average. She wasn't pale nor tan, gorgeous nor ugly, her hair was even a neutral brown, but her smile was warming, trusting. Paine imagined she did well in this field.

"So I know you two probably have a lot of questions for me, all of which I intend on answering with a few tests." She looked to Rikku. "You want to have children?"

Rikku glanced at Paine. "Eventually."

Dr. Raymond nodded and looked to Paine. "And you?"

Paine grew confused. "Isn't how this thing works?"

Irene smiled. "Well of course you would be a parent, but I am referring to in the medical sense, mothering a child. Most women same sex couples I see want everyone to be checked to see who is healthier to carry to term."

"Oh." Paine had never once thought of that. She was a woman after all, what was stopping her from doing it if Rikku couldn't? Right? She looked at Rikku a little unsure how to answer.

"Sorry." Dr. Raymond stopped her. "I didn't mean to put you on the spot."

"No I just never thought…I mean if Rikks can't…"Paine shrugged. Rikku grabbed her hand to stop her from the word vomit she knew came when Paine was confused and unsure. Paine looked down at her in thanks before looking at the doctor. "We/re here for Rikku."

Irene smiled at the action and then looked at Rikku. "Okay, Rikku let's get you up on this table and begin your regular yearly pelvic exam, and then we'll take a look at your ovaries and uterus more closely. Run some other tests, and then get a blood sample just for our records."

Rikku nodded. "Okay."

Paine sat back down in her seat and tried to feel as comfortable as she could with some other woman spreading her wife's legs and using tools to look around. After the exam Dr. Raymond left the room a brief moment for Rikku to change into her pants again and to see if she could get everything expedited so they could leave with some sort of idea of their options.

Rikku was pulling her pants back on that Paine had just handed her. "You okay?" The taller of the two asked. She had noticed how Rikku had closed her eyes during the exam as if embarrassed. They had always went together to get their yearly exams, but never in the same room.

The blonde looked over at her. "Just nervous." She admitted. The air between them still felt a little tense, but it was clear Paine was just trying to process now.

Process was correct, she had been thinking all through the exam. There was a lot to think about that Paine just hadn't…well she just hadn't thought about thinking about. "Don't be." She was already standing not far from handing Rikku her jeans so it made the small touch to her back seamless.

Paine's hand on the small of her back eased Rikku's mind just a little. She didn't know what worries she'd fill the room with if Paine weren't here; her guilt returned. "I wanted to tell you myself." She looked at her as she finished the last button on her designer jeans. "You can be upset, you have a right to…it's just that in my head Pypo? In my head I was going to be the one to tell you."

"I'm not mad…I'm just..." She paused. She was a little hurt, but it would pass. "How long have you thought something might be wrong?"

"About a week ago."

Paine nodded, that hadn't been too long unless Rikku had lied about that too. She hated thinking like this and needed to stop before it became habit. Honesty was something that was high on both their lists of things to value in a relationship. Rikku hadn't told her because she wanted to know first, she had to take that as it was, but why? Why couldn't they find out together? Did her wife see her as someone who couldn't handle things like this? Paine exhaled heavily at her spiraling train a thought.

_You don't know what you're doing._

She needed to just talk to her instead of guessing. "When would you have said something?"

Rikku lifted one shoulder and dropped it. "I hadn't thought that far."

"You have to give me something."

"I'm giving you what I have right now okay?"

Paine looked away for a second trying to find the words she needed. She was never good at words, saying what she felt, not ever. Then Rikku happened, but for the first time in a little while she was at a loss. "Does this mean you want babies _now_?" She hadn't looked at Rikku, but the chair she had been sitting on was an interesting color, what was that? Magenta?

Rikku hesitated before touching her wife's arm for Paine to look back at her. "I didn't tell you because I'm not ready, and I know you're not. I just….I needed to know for me." She paused "I guess knyhtsy being gone and all was making me think about families, and how I would want one with you." She shied up at the end of that when she looked at Paine. "I just turned twenty five.. I didn't want to be thirty not knowing, I didn't want to go another day not knowing. I'm sorry." She apologized again.

"Stop babe." Paine whispered as she extended her arm to wrap around Rikku. The blonde turned in to her and rested her forehead up against her collar bone and exhaled so heavily that it made Paine feel her body fight to relax. She put her other arm around her and just held her without saying anything. She could only imagine how Rikku was feeling. The young woman couldn't even handle waiting to eat her own birthday cake; this wait was most likely killing her. Not being able to do something that she knew would make her happy. Paine saw it when she was with Vidina. This would just be another blow that Rikku didn't need. _They_ didn't need this right now. At that moment the door to the little examination room knocked and then opened. Dr. Raymond had opted to leave her white coat off this time, another tactic to make the patient seem at ease Paine realized. Irene must have sensed the tension in the room earlier.

Paine braced herself for whatever she was about to say by crossing her arms loosely and standing beside Rikku, who had taken a seat on the parchment exam table.

"Okay. I have some good news, and some bad news." She looked at the conflicted faces of the couple before her. "The good news, Rikku, is that you're not sterile." She didn't get the jumping around and smiles like she usually got when that news was delivered, this couple was an interesting pair indeed. "The bad news is that pregnancy though possible, is limited."

"Limited." Paine didn't like that word. "Limited how?"

"Your chances of actually getting pregnant are…unknown."

"But I'm not sterile…"

"Correct."

"You're going to need to explain that one to me." Paine said.

"Pypo." Rikku whispered quietly. She knew Paine was getting a little worked up.

Dr. Raymond opened Rikku's file that she had been holding. "Rikku you have very…sensitive eggs. At least from the tests that we have taken here today. From my experience though this seems to be the case more often than not. You see mechanically everything seems to be in fine working order, which allows me to conclude that you can in fact get pregnant. It's just that since this most likely will be done via artificial insemination we have no way of knowing if that method would take… if the eggs would respond to this course of impregnation."

Paine shifted. So what the doctor had basically meant was that Paine couldn't get her pregnant at all. She didn't have a penis to do it the _natura_l way. The way Rikku's body would respond, and she probably couldn't even do it the turkey baster way. Paine didn't know why she suddenly felt inadequate, but it was surely there, settling with the lunch she had after picking Mackenzie up that afternoon.

Rikku sat with that for a moment. "Is there a way to test this?"

Dr. Raymond seemed to break from her medical monotone. "Actually, there is. We in this line of work call it baby placebo; I wanted to share some of our findings with this method. It looks to be your best option before investing the time and money into artificial insemination."

Rikku nodded and then glanced at Paine. "What is it?" Paine spoke up.

Dr. Raymond nodded. "It is exactly the same as artificial insemination except the semen is artificial as well. In your case Rikku we would test your body's response, egg activity, and hormone secretion days later, and then we use an algorithm to create a success rate…essentially."

They both left the clinic with a thick informational folder and splitting headaches. It had to be nearly nine at night, and the winter wind nipped through their layers and made their chests tight.

"I parked over there." Paine said motioning to the other side of the still full parking lot.

Rikku nodded and pointed in the other direction. "I'm over there." She hesitated as she adjusted her long red scarf about her neck "I'll see you at home?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

Rikku made it home first and decided a shower was in order to clear her head. She had just had a lot of information thrown at her that she didn't have the time to digest it right then and there. The car drive did nothing, not like it usually did and she was running out of ideas. Sensitive eggs? What did that even mean? Rikku wondered this as she turned the hot water on and let it steam up the small tiled room before beginning to take off her clothes.

She wasn't sterile but her eggs were moody….overly selective…picky

She had picky eggs.

After staring at the area right before her small fuzz of pubic hair Rikku stepped under the warm water and replayed the argument with Paine, that was the most animated she had seen her wife in an argument in a while. This had really hit home, she hadn't trusted her…but was she wrong? Was Rikku wrong really? She knew her wife well enough to know that this was not in her plan. Her plan was day to day, it was what therapy taught her to master. Still, she really should have known that anything having to do with her family put Paine in a different place, she was protective to a fault, and to learn of Rikku's betrayal was probably like learning someone was planning mutiny when all you ever did was care. She sighed heavily and let the warm water run over her tanned skin. She wanted to wash away today, do it over, tell Paine, maybe even take a multi vitamin, anything, she'd do anything different.

Not long after getting in Rikku heard the front door being keyed into then opened over the loud showerhead. The dropping of keys on the table and then a knock was at the bathroom door. "Come in."

Paine popped her head inside. ""I'm home."

She knew Rikku was wondering if she would come straight home, and for a while there Paine had considered doing just the opposite, but in the end she found herself parking, checking the mail, and coming up to their apartment. She was tired too.

Rikku looked from behind the curtain. "I'm glad."

Paine nodded once and then pulled the door back in and decided she would cook something. Her stomach still wasn't over that weird lop-sided thing it was doing, but she knew Rikku was hungry, and what else would she do with herself? She wanted to talk more with Rikku…. But about what? Paine still didn't know.

Paine found herself thinking of Gippal as she set up a pot of water to boil. He always cooked when he was stressed, or sad, or happy…he always cooked to combat an extreme emotion, to balance himself. Thank Yevon he was good at it.

Paine was just going to make spaghetti.

Rikku took her time lathering up her body in one of her new lotions Paine had gotten her. Her leg was stretched out on the sink and she looked at her reflection in the foggy mirror after her long shower. Was she supposed to be relieved? She wasn't sterile just as her mother wasn't…but she was her mother indeed, minus the man, the husband. Why did it all of a sudden seem unfair, but make complete sense. After rubbing as much of the expensive lotion in as possible Rikku tied her hair up and ignored the soft tassels that fell out and framed her face, She changed into some eggshell yellow cloth shorts and a white tank top. The moment she stepped out of the bathroom the honeysuckle in the lotion was lost to the tomato and starch scent in the air, her mouth watered a little.

Paine looked up from the small pot of tomato sauce she was doctoring. "Are you hungry?" When she got a nod in response she motioned to the small glass dining table and quickly gathered two forks. She was a little proud that she was able to handle something so simple as to knowing Rikku would eat.

After piling on a little more food into Rikku's bowl than in her own Paine walked over and set the small brown bowl in front of her wife before sitting across from her.

"Thank you."

"Yeah." Paine welcomed before taking a little forkful of noodles and blowing on it.

Some time passed where they just ate in silence. It was a good silence though, they both could feel it. Someone had to say something though, they couldn't stay quiet the rest of their lives. Rikku took the opportunity when Paine paused from eating to sip a bit of her iced tea that she had set out for them.

"Paine, I never meant to hurt your feelings."

The fighter swallowed the slightly bitter slightly minty tea and rested her glass back down. She knew Rikku was sorry, she had known it the moment Rikku turned to find her sitting beside her at the clinic. "I know…"

"I love you."

"You should never question if I feel the same."

Rikku knew this. "I don't. Do you?"

Paine shook her head no and then reached her right hand across the table to lay still over Rikku's left hand almost shyly.

Rikku visibly relaxed. Sure their love was never called into question, but at the same time it was their own little way of making up. Why hold things in when you loved someone so much?

"I have moody eggs…."

Paine bit back a chuckle at the look Rikku made to accompany that statement, their hands still touching. "I can…get mine looked at…"

Rikku sighed heavily and upturned her hands so they could lace fingers together. She smiled softly at her wife. "In all my years of knowing you you've never once mentioned wanting to be pregnant. Don't start now just because of me."

Paine looked away for a moment. "Well no…" She had just tried to avoid baby talk in general while they were dating. "But who really talks about that kind of stuff?"

"I did." Rikku smiled. "Bayla Bayla baby." She reminded.

Bayla Bayla was the name they had drunkenly given their future first born a few months into dating, male or female, the name would fit. Paine smiled lovingly back and rubbed the pad of her thumb across her knuckles but was stopped by her wedding ring. "I think it's too early to be talking in past tense."

She sighed. "I'm just…bummed." She took her hand back to fork up some spaghetti. "I'm a nice person and I pay Common taxes even though I'm a National and…and I say please and thank you and something's always wrong Paine."

"Nothing's wrong."

"Were you not in there?"

"You're just being yourself."

"Picky?"

Paine nodded. "What do you always say when you drag me shopping?"

Rikku rolled her eyes. "This isn't my clothing choice; this is me, my body. How I was born."

Paine sighed when she realized she was on her way to a mini fight. To defuse that from happening she maintained her calm tone. "You're not sterile, okay? You're perfect. We have options." She added when she remembered the baby placebo thing. "Do something for me?"

Rikku looked hesitant. "What?"

"We don't even have percentages yet, you can have slightly less picker eggs than the next bitch. Doctors work like lawyers—

"Illegally?"

"No, they go by past cases, they draw back on things they have seen before to try and explain similar things, but no one is ever the same Rikks. If we take this test tomorrow and it turns out you have a 51 percent chance of getting pregnant then you would have wasted all your day today worrying for nothing."

"Fifty one percent?" She looked doubtful.

Paine waved a dismissive hand in the air. "Whatever, some number that's more optimistic than zero….you would have worried for what?" She took a moment to get her point across when she realized she had the blonde's attention. "It's not impossible, that's what you wanted to know right?" Her wife nodded getting her point that though the news wasn't exactly what she wanted to hear, it was better than what she was expecting to hear.

Later that night Paine tried to focus on the five hour Judo documentary she rented a week ago and not the woman curled up beside her sketching what looked to be some sort of cartoon egg, equipped with a spear like cane and thick rimmed glasses, high heels and bangles. She had finished the egg a few minutes ago, and was now focusing her energy on another one; this one looked exactly the same, though it seemed to be clutching a box of tissue. If she didn't know why her wife were drawing eggs she would have chuckled, the cartoons were good enough to be in the paper, but she did know what was causing her this need to draw. It always happened when she was anxious, like on the plane to Home to send her grandmother, or like when Paine came home from their huge fight, she had been drawing then too.

Paine paused the documentary; stilling a fighter in his bow after a battle. "Ri."

"Yeah?" She hadn't looked up from the sketch pad.

"Your mom had two kids, two. You guys are healthy and—"

"Brother is depressed that all the women he ever loved leave, and I'm well…all of the above." She finally looked over at Paine. "She wasn't gay either."

Paine sat with hat for a moment. "Well…we don't know that."

"What?" A little smile played at Rikku's lips.

Paine stood from the couch. "She could have been….lots of people get married and then realize they weren't who they thought they were…"

She had her full attention now. "You say that like you have a lot of experience."

Paine shrugged as she went over to the front door and grabbed her shoes. "Well I'm more responsible…more boring." She sat down to put them on.

"More happy."

"Happy wife, happy life."

Rikku chuckled softly and then sighed. She knew what Paine was dong and it was working, It always worked, yet still in the back of her head something snagged, something would not let her mind be free. She rested her head back against the couch and looked at the ceiling. "You think my ma was gay Pypo?" She'd humor her wife if only for the moment.

Paine shrugged as she finished tying her shoes. She got up and grabbed Rikku's sneakers before sitting down and putting them in front of her on the ground. "Well she had you didn't she?"

"What does that even mean?"

Paine laughed a little and leaned back on the couch so she was looking at Rikku's face. "Well since we're following heredity so closely tonight then…why not."

Rikku squinted at her from the weird angle. "Where are you going? It's late."

Paine glanced at the answering machine for the time. It was 12am, but it was only late because they had work tomorrow. "I wanna get ice cream, come with me."

Rikku finally sat upright. "Ice cream? It's less than twenty degrees outside."

Paine looked stumped for a minute before her face lit up with an idea. "Let's go get pie at Eveready." Rikku was a sucker for warm pie; hell so was she, that's how she knew it would work. They were tired, but they were restless.

Rikku looked to be deciding, but with every centimeter that Paine's eyebrow rose to persuade her she found herself convinced, that is until she looked down at the shoes her wife placed before her. "Not in those!"

Paine looked down to see Rikku's sneakers. "What's wrong with them?"

"Pypo those are my jogging shoes."

"You don't jog."

"I think about jogging."

This was news to Paine. "Really?"

"Yes, actually I do." Rikku folded her arms.

"When?"

"In the morning."

Paine just smiled, got up and grabbed the sneakers. "Flats?" She asked as she headed into their room.

Rikku smiled. "I just can't walk in snow."

"I'll just carry you!" Paine called from in the other room.

Rikku laughed a little and sighed when she picked up her sketch pad and looked at the moody eggs. She sent Yuna a text after her spaghetti dinner and would soon need to talk to her father. If it was in fact the same thing as her mother he'd know most about it. She groaned at the thought of that conversation, one because in some way it had to do with sex, and another it had to do with her mother, which was something she knew he didn't talk about a lot, and after walking in on him and Leblanc that one time she didn't want to talk about sex either.

##

_**Earlier that Day**_

They stared each other down.

Half the building had heard them yelling in Al Bhed, Common, and any other langue that seemed to formed from the roots of anger and plead. The once organized office was chaos, papers, books, small sitting chairs. Jenkins remained only because a homicide was looking more likely as the two brothers in law fought. The natural lawyer in him heard valid points from each, it was a tough case, but at the end of the day one word, or name rather had halted the noise.

"Yuna." Cid asserted.

Braska very quickly learned where his weakest point in his defense was. He swallowed hard and quickly wiped the blood from his lip. "Don't." He warned. Jenkins looked between the two of them with worry.

Cid; now red in the face and missing his creamed suit jacket huffed. "You go ahead and tell me that you would be okay with me holding this from you if it were Yuna." Cid had the most intense pulsing headache from yelling, but damnit this was not going to happen again. "Oui drehg ypuid ed!" The room stilled.

Braska had always thought about it, he had always put Yuna there, felt Cid's fear for his daughter, this was not what had stilled him into silence. No, it was the look Cid was giving him, that look that cursed him for putting this all on himself. He was Rikku's father, he was just as much a part of this if not more so than Braska. The only reason Cid hadn't gotten the appeal notice four years ago was because he was out on lunch, and now the relationship he had worked so hard at repairing for this very thing would soon be ripped open again. He saw going to be the bad guy, _again_. That was something Cid couldn't do right now.

"Senya thought so highly of the choices you made." Cid spoke bitterly as he picked up his rumpled suit jacket and shook it out. "I didn't like you much then, but she was my little sister, my family, and I trusted her." He paused. "Like I trusted you."

Braska let him leave, not because he wanted him to, but because he hadn't said her name since Tahla passed, and because twenty five years still didn't take the sting from the corners of his eyes when he heard it.

##

They sat in their usual booth, tucked away near the back of the fast paced college diner. Although they were no longer students, and the familiar wait staff soon became unfamiliar Rikku and Paine loved to come here and talk. The food was good, cheap, and oddly comforting seeing as how neither grew up eating the things that Everready served. It reminded them of their earlier days of uncertainty, stolen looks and banana nut pancakes for Rikku and everything in omelets for Paine.

Eveready had a winter deal that dated back to when Paine first started at NLU. A warm slice of pie of your choice and a select hot beverage. It was the first meal she had here, partly because it was only 2.99 and she was a dirt poor college student riding on the skirt of a scholarship. Now she ate here with her wife, and the feeling of remembering that lonely meal a few years back made this one all the special.

It was then that she remembered she had only been married for a month and few days. It really did seem at times like they could never catch a break. Her warm mood was replaced with worry when she thought about all the potential happy moments that would soon be clouded by difficulties. She looked to her decaf coffee cup; the rim stained with coffee from years of use, the handle had the slightest chip in it.

"So wha do you wanna do?" Paine asked. "You wanna take this thing?" Paine furrowed her brows at Rikku's smile that was forming. "What?"

Rikku continued to smile. "You're really tired."

Paine shook her head no.

"Yes, because you get your little accent when you're tired, either that or you get mushy." Sometimes you could hardly tell that Paine was a local girl who grew up in a bad part of town until she slipped and said something like "wanna" in the way she just had.

"Yeah well you sound Al Bhed _all_ the time." She deadpanned.

"I _was_ born and raised there."

"I always wondered why you had a thicker accent than Yuna." You could tell the paler cousin was Al Bhed when she spoke the actual language, her ability to pronounce words even Paine couldn't get was truth to that, but she spoke very clean Common. Her wife jumbled words sometimes and even just forgot them all together. Even still after so many years of living here, it was adorable though. The other day she brought Paine a mitten and asked "Fryd ec ed ykyeh pypo?"

"Yunie lived in Besaid while I was real little, she only came over to live during the summers after Sus died. You know all this."

"How does it feel though to be married to a stuck-up Bevellian? Or a rude New Lucan?"

"How does it feel to be married to a heathen?"

Paine sat back and nodded. "Not too bad."

Rikku chuckled. "You're more Al Bhed than me, Pypo." They shared a small laugh at the mild truth behind it. Paine was only Bevellian because of Paul and Keira, she was a real sand blasted grease monkey at heart. They smiled, and then that too died.

Paine examined her cup again then looked at Rikku. "Seriously though….you wanna try to see…?" She didn't want Rikku to not have the answers she wanted, and the blonde's unusual quiet meant that that was exactly the case.

The young architect hesitated. "I don't know." She shared softly. Paine nodded for her to go on. "I mean yes, someday…but I…I'm nervous of what it will do to me, to you, I don't want you to feel like you are somehow flawed because of me not being able to…_respond_." She made a face. "I don't wanna feel hollow."

"Baby but you're not sterile…we just have to be…creative."

Rikku raised a brow and bit back her laugh. "Creative?"

"Yeah." Paine nodded. "I mean…aside from fucking some guy who looks like me I think you have options."

"We."

"We."

"I know I keep saying sorry but…I'm am sorry Pypo, there always should have been a we, I was only thinking about me and how I would feel or do things that I forgot how much this would affect you too…I mean I thought of you, but I…I think I was just scared you'd think I was pushing babies on you or…I don't know what I thought, but I am sorry."

"Rikks I think the first time we ever hung out you told me how important it was that you future kids know Al Bhed…I've always known you wanted babies."

"Sometimes I wonder if you do." Paine said nothing. "Then I see you with Viddy and then I realize I don't care what you want, you'd be the best mommy ever."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves." Paine warned with a smile.

"You're right…but later…in three years maybe?"

"Five."

"Four."

"Four and a half."

"Two."

"Two!?" Paine watched her grin and shook her head. "Fuck that."

"Three, take it or leave it."

"Where exactly do you want me to leave this thing?"

Rikku bit her lip. "Fine, in four years we'll revisit this." Paine smiled and made a show of wiping the pretend sweat off her forehead. It made Rikku laugh and consider what Paine said earlier. "In the meantime I guess we should start reading that folder."

Paine nodded quickly returning to the seriousness at hand. "You think this is something you wanna do?"

Rikku nodded and stabbed a piece of her pie. "Who knows, my eggs might be slightly less picky." She paused. "I guess I can talk to Pop too…but you know he's going to want to talk to you."

"Talk to me?"

"Y'know like he did before we got married?"

Paine made a face. "I don't know what you think you remember from the reception dinner but that was not a talk Rikks."

Rikku waved her hand in the air. "Same difference."

Paine groaned. Cid's talks had gotten more…colorful over the years if that was even possible. Female condoms were the least of her worries these days.

##

Paine lay awake that night alone though.

It wasn't that she didn't want to sleep, she would give anything to curl up behind Rikku and smell the faint smell of spring in her hair as she drifted off like she would any other night.

She would pay for that feeling only because the one it was replaced with was unnerving.

Paine sat up gently as not to wake the woman beside her as she got out of bed. Rikku must have sensed her absence because she blindly grabbed at the still warm area where Paine had once lain. Her blonde hair spilled out over the sheets as she turned her head and fell still again. Paine stood there a moment not really knowing what to do with her restless limbs now that she was standing. A glance at the clock told her it was 3:37 in the morning. With a hand through her hair Paine pulled a pair of jeans on and a black judo camp hoody and was about to leave the bedroom when Rikku's cell phone began to buzz on the nightstand. Paine paused and glanced at Rikku before walking over and looking at it.

POPS BAYLA

Paine picked up. "Hello?" She whispered but found the line was dead. She pulled the phone away from her ear and furrowed her brows. She waited a moment for something to happen, when nothing did she placed the phone back down on the nightstand and was about to leave the room a second time when something stopped her.

Rikku's sleepy voice.

"Pai?"

Paine froze as if she had just been caught stealing something. "Yeah?"

Rikku rolled over onto her side and pushed the thick vale of blonde hair out of her face. "It's too early for the gym." She murmured.

"I was just gonna go for a walk…"

"Was wrong?" Rikku rubbed at her face.

Should she tell her? Did she get one free pass at lying since Rikku had today? Was that how it worked? Knowing that that was being spiteful Paine went to sit on the edge of the bed and looked down at Rikku; half-awake and clearly concerned. She never ran, yes sometimes she just never said anything, but Rikku never left at odd hours of the night because she couldn't sleep, and if she had needed to, she would have definitely told Paine. "I can't sleep."

Rikku tilted her head slightly. "Do you want tea?"

She shook her head no once. "No babe."

"Was wrong?" She asked a second time.

Paine looked about their room. "I don't know…" It was the truth, she had no fucking clue why this was back, this restlessness. Her short tour around the room brought her back to looking at her wife. "Go back to sleep."

Rikku nodded and rested her cheek on the pillow. "Come back to bed."

Paine stood. "Just once around the block."

Giving up at it, Rikku just closed her eyes.

The fighter got up and grabbed her keys before making her one round about the block as promised before coming back to their warm apartment. After making sure she wasn't too cold to the touch by warming her legs by the thermostat Pane stripped out of her clothes and got into bed behind a sleeping Rikku. The walk seemed to have helped some for she soon found rest but the next morning as she gelled her hair in the steamy mirror while Rikku showered she felt something begin to nag at the back of her head and the tips of her shoulders. Something was off, something had shifted. She didn't know what but the entire day was spent on high alert. It was almost as if fight or flight was gearing up to kick in, and even the slightest changes in her schedule slowed her down.

Toward the end of the work day Paine decided to call Gippal to fill him on what had happened yesterday, in therapy she learned that taking about things that have changed usually helped her anxiety about it. Paine didn't know if the baby talk was what was making her anxious, but it was worth a shot.

Not being much of long drawn out phone conversations Paine cut to the chase as soon as he picked up.

"Rikks want's kids in four years."

The line was quiet a moment. "If this is your way of askin' me to jizz in a cup for you guys I'd be happy to do it."

Paine made a face. The idea of semen, especially Gippal's in Rikku made her feel a little sick. "Yeah not you."

He laughed as if he expected the answer. "Ah your loss."

"She went to some clinic yesterday without me."

"So?"

"I mean like I'm kinda part of the equation too." Paine glanced at the time and began shutting down her computer. She had no more clients today and had promised Mackenzie earlier in the week that she would bring her to Judo training yesterday and today. "She's not sterile…"

"No Al Bhed is."

"Highly doubt that, but she thought she was, and she didn't say anything."

"Aye Dr. P, what the fuck huh? You sounin' like a girl right now."

Paine shrugged. "Well.."

"Maybe she didn't want you to know just yet? I mean you obviously forgave her, sometimes women need space and shit."

She remembered early that morning when she didn't want to come back to bed, or cuddle, she had needed space that Rikku easily gave. Something was truly wrong with her when Gippal of all people started to make sense of women of all things. Paine grabbed a few client files and shoved them into her desk before locking it up and reaching for her empty thermos. Rikku made her take tea into work that morning instead of coffee. "You home? I'm gonna come pick up Big Mack."

Gippal surveyed his surroundings. "No."

They were silent a minute before Paine shrugged. "Alright I'll see you later."

Gippal nodded and then turned so he couldn't be heard away from the other two men in the room. "Yeah, kiss and make up and all that." Paine had chuckled but Gippal remained silent. Finally he was met with the dial tone signaling that Paine had hung up. Prior to the interruption Gippal had been sitting there wondering just how far this would go, how far he would let it, and then Paine called, and he had heard her worry over something so minor when there were bigger things to think about, that's when he knew it wouldn't go any further. Paine was his best friend, at times his only friend; he wasn't going to keep this from her. He turned back to Cid and Braska, both men wearing similar tailored suits and similar expressions; they must have felt it too. He tossed his cell phone onto Braka's desk and looked over at Cid. "You got another thing comin' if you expect me to keep this from her as soon as I leave this place."

The brothers in-law exchanged looks before Braska sat at his desk chair and handed a thick manila folder to Cid who sighed and took it from him. "Trent I didn't want to have to do this…." He opened the file where a young Gippal stared up at him with blood shot eyes and a shaved head. "I pulled up something I let slip." He had been Gippal's lawyer for years ever since his file graced Leblanc's desk as a social worker. She had begged him to take the kid on, and Cid had been stumbling over ways to empress his colleague for weeks now. Surely taking this kid would do it, and inadvertently it had, but what it had also done was yanked his world and his daughter's world into this chaos, and if there was one thing fiercer than a friendship like Paine and Gippal's, it was Cid's love for his daughter. "Possession of an unregistered firearm, evading questioning, grand theft auto, failure to appear in court..." Gippal gritted his teeth at the laundry list of things Cid had "Fixed" over the years.

"But that's not why we called you here." Braska, whose lip was healing slowly, cut in. "We…need your help with something. Paine mustn't know about it."

Gippal pointed to himself. "Oh you need my help? Here I thought I was being blackmailed."

"No one is blackmailing you."

Gippal shook his head at Paine's legal counsel and looked to his own. "I'd ask for my lawyer but it turns out he's abushin' me too."

"This is to protect them both." Cid nodded.

"Yeah?" He laughed. "So tell me how exactly you plan on tellin' Rikku that her most favorite person is being let out in a week or so?"

"Paine and Rikku won't be here."

Now he was really amused. Gippal let his grin linger as he stood. "You don't know who you let your kid marry man, Paine's not going any fucking where."

Seeing their opportunity slip away Braska stood as well. "We're telling them this weekend."

Gippal grabbed his cell and the bag of organic cherries he was in the middle of picking up when Cid had called. "Yeah? Good luck with that. Can't make any promises they won't already know."

Cid was growing aggravated. "You don't think I want to tell them as soon as I found out?"

He hiked the bag of fruit over his shoulder. "And when exactly was that Pops?"

"Yesterday." Cid hadn't slept, hadn't eaten, all he could really remembering doing for himself was showering, and even then he thought about what was going to happen. He was unbelievably pissed at his brother in law, last night when Braska came over wanting to talk he had let him. Cid had listened and they seemed to come to some kind of common ground, but that didn't mean he was any less angry about things. Cid was so beside himself that all this time he could have done something, the right thing. Now here he was depending upon Gippal Trent to keep his mouth shut so they could come to an agreement. This was the only plan they had, and Gippal was the key…well at least a part of the key. "You're gonna sit down and you're going to listen Trent." Sometimes Gippal just needed to be roughed up a little. Gippal didn't move from his standing position and Cid saw this as a good thing. "Dona Pilgrim, are you still contact with her?"

Gippal squinted at him. "You two are some of the dumbest fucks I know. You wanna bring D into this?" He shook his head back and forth. "Do you even know 'bout them?"

"Whom?" Braska asked.

"Listen, whatever it is, it aint gonna work, fucking trust me on this one." Gippal moved toward the door until Braska's words stopped him.

"He's coming after them." He watched the younger man square off his shoulders. "He's dangerous, Gippal."

"So why couldn't you keep him locked up then?"

"Because he used to be where we are." Cid added. He began a slow walk toward where Gippal stood. "He's smart, and calculated, and if we don't do something now, while he's still in there, then he most certainly will come for the one the embarrassed him…" He finally reached Gippal. "Your best friend."

"And Cid's girl." It was under his breath, and at that moment Gippal realized just what they were up against. He knew lots of guys who've been to prison and come out like zombies, like they had been stripped of everything that made them a person. If this Auron prick was able to do things before, he was the worst kind to get locked up for nearly five years to think about what he'd do when he got out.. He had an ego to stroke, something to prove. Gippal never thought he'd be put in a situation for his best friend and against her at the same time. "You can't get Dona involved."

Cid put his hands in his pockets. "Why?"

"She knew Dr.P."

"She knew her…" Braska repeated. "We know that."

"Nah you don't." Gippal turned and brushed him off before looking at Cid. "Not her." Their green eyes met and Cid nodded once.

"Alright." He turned to Braska who looked like he was going to object. "We don't use her." He turned back to Gippal. "What about Barthello, her brother."

Gippal made a face. "The fuck you need him for?"

"He's Auron's new cellmate."

##

"Yes I'm still very much interested, my father is my lawyer and you know these things can be….uh huh…Oh." Rikku bit the inside of her mouth. "Actually what I am offering is as high as I'm willing to go, you are welcome to continue to show the house though." She grinned when she began to hear hesitation in the older woman's voice. "Right, well it's a nice home, perfect actually." Just then her tiny office door knocked and then was pushed open, Yuna and Lucil poked their heads inside and Rikku motioned them in. "It is my first choice yes…..yes, I'm just waiting to get them signed and we will be more than good to begin finalizing the deal….Alright okay, Thank you Mrs. Ghentin." She hung up and looked to the familiar faces. Yuna was seated clad in a sophisticated beige romper with heels, while Lucil was dressed down in normal business casual that their office allowed.

"I saved her from William's grasp." She motioned to Yuna.

Yuna nodded. "He's so…greasy."

They laughed and Lucil sauntered over to Rikku's desk to drop a folder on it. "So after he tried to cop a feel with High Summoner Yuna here he handed me his, it's the consultation with the Bluth company on some building they want for their headquarters in Bevelle, take a looksee and then we'll brief tomorrow. I have to get out of here while I still can."

It had been raining cold rain all afternoon, an oddity for the usually frosty winters in New Luca.

"Thanks Luce."

Lucil smiled and turned to Yuna. "High Summoner."

Yuna chuckled. "Yuna, just call me Yuna."

"Nope, I'm pretty much committed. It's not every day you meet a Yunlesca."

"You met me two years ago."

"I'm still getting used it."

Yuna shook her head with amusement. Lulu was a quiet worker; she wondered what it would be like to work with someone like Lucil, all jokes and business at the same time.

Lucil waved to Rikku. "See yuh Junior."

"Drive safe."

The door closed and Yuna and Rikku gave each other "Hello" sort of looks. Words weren't needed when you knew each other as long as they had. Yuna sighed heavily and slouched back in her stiff chair. "You need comfier chairs…or a couch."

Rikku shook her head as she put the folder Lucil had given her in her desk. "If I had a couch I'd never leave."

"Mm, maybe but at least your cousin would be comfortable."

"Well that's all that matters, I'll write up a PO,"

Yuna smiled and sat up. "Was that the house owner?"

"Yeah, Pops has been dragging his feet with the paperwork and they just tried asking me for more money. Don't they know I have sensitive eggs?"

Yuna laughed a little as she got up and walked over to the large window on the left of Rikku's desk slash work bench. "Well I'm glad you are having a sense of humor about this whole thing." She watched rain drops slide down the sleek edge of the building. It was beautiful.

"I just don't want people to know." The blonde admitted as she began to clear her desk. Today she and Yuna were going for cocktails at Gigi's, a nice little lounge place for the young professionals that everyone around this part of town was trying to be. Though now that she thought about it, stopping by her dad's to get him to sign the paperwork was going in front of drinks. She really wanted to get this place renovated to her liking before their lease was up.

"Have you told anyone besides Paine and I?"

"No, but Lucil knows something is up for sure. She's being all nice to me."

Yuna cracked a little smile. "Maybe she's just being nice."

"Not her." Rikku shook her head as she brought her Tupperware bowl with her leftovers she had from lunch. She slipped it into her black leather work bag and then stood as she began to gather up all the loose oil pencils she use for sketching today and hurried them into a container with her name one it. "Paine thinks I'm going crazy."

'Why?" Yuna continued to look at the window. Leonardi Inc was adjacent to a small park, right now she watched a woman with an umbrella walking her little dog who had a doggy raincoat on. She wondered if she could get Kimahri to wear one of those.

"This morning I was going to make us eggs, and she's all like no I'm not hungry, so I threaten to force feed her…this is normal morning behavior for us."

Yuna turned and chuckled. "Ah."

"But then so I go to crack some eggs Yunie, and there is this baby like thing in one of 'em… I saw a beak and little tiny itty-bitty feet and I just stared at it until Paine came over and threw it out before taking out the trash and coming back with bagels."

Yuna smiled sadly at her cousin. "She doesn't think you're going crazy. Some people call this silent support."

"Well maybe I just think I'm going crazy." It sure as hell felt like it. Rikku put away some more papers.

"We should invite her to get drinks with us after we get our nails done. We can talk about me and my problems, or Lulu's just to give you two a break."

Rikku nodded once liking the idea but not knowing if Paine would be for it. "I can give her a call. But maybe can we rain check on the nails? I wanna drop in on Pops and get him to sign those papers today." She reached for her cell phone and when she got a nod from her cousin and hit speed dial two and waited.

The phone rang a little longer than usual but eventually Paine's voice came over.

"Kerrigan."

"Hey Pai."

"Hey Ri, what's up?" Paine motioned to Big Mack to continue her cool down stretches.

"Come out with Yunie and I later? We were going to get a drink remember. Come."

"Yeah? Damn, Gip just called me actually, I thought I'd hang with him and Nooj if he's there for a little after dropping Big Mack."

"You know if he didn't have a penis I'd be very jealous."

Paine smiled a little at the joke. Joking was good. Joking was way better than silent Rikku. "I'll pick you up. Then we'll get pie again or something. How's that?"

"Ooh, that's good so I don't have to drive. It's still raining, I hate driving in rain."

Only because she couldn't speed Paine thought. "I know. So just text or call me when you two are ready to head home."

"Okay."

"You good?"

Rikku nodded even though she couldn't see her. "Yeah." It was quiet though.

Paine would have to settle for that until they were home. "Alright, Princess."

"Okay bye, I love you."

"Love you too." In the background Mackenzie made teasing noises. "Shut up would you?" Paine joked with the younger girl for a moment before getting back to Rikku. "Bunches."

Rikku smiled. "Bunches baby."

They hung up.

##

Gippal paced the cluttered floor of his bedroom in nothing but his boxers and an undershirt with his cell phone pressed to his ear and a joint rolled between his thumb and pointer finger. He had been in the process of changing out of his other clothes after a bike messenger snipped a corner and ended up colliding with Gippal. Both parties were fine, but Gippal had been covered in cherry juice.

"She will never speak to you again." Came the stern voice on the other line.

"You don't think I.." He exhaled a cloud of white smoke. "You don't think I fucking know that?! She's _my_ best friend."

"So then what is the problem Gippal?" Elma sighed when she thought about what he had just told her. "I'm cutting my trip short."

"Wait a minute, you cut your trip short for Dr. P but not me? Duh fuq?"

"Only because you're so ill equipped to handle your own emotions let alone Paine's. I bet your smoking right now!" Gippal ousted his joint in an ash tray and glared at the picture of Elma on his nightstand wondering if she had installed a camera in there. "She can't go to Cid's girl, and she can't go to her mother. What does that leave her? She's been too damn calm lately."

"Yeah well not lately lately. Apparently Cid's girl is like not having babies with her or some shit. Ruf ys E cibbucat du ghuf." He shrugged.

Elma rubbed at her temples and glanced at the time on her watch. "My break is over."

"Damn…"

"Tell her Gippal Trent!"

"Okay Gulielma Mennechey!"

Elma sighed heavily into the receiver and then just hung up. Gippal grinned at the response her real name elicited but it soon fell into a scowl when he remembered what he had to do.

"Fuck."

Gippal picked up the joint again and searched for his lighter.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

Gippal stood from the lumpy sofa and cleared his throat. He couldn't take it anymore. Paine had only been over for five minutes and he could already hear the freaking heart in the floorboard thumping away and eating at his conscious like a ravenous lioness that had been fed gun powder an Al Bhed all her life.…

Of course that could have just been the weed setting in.

This particular strand was called Sticky Heirloom 35

Paine looked up from her spot once beside him. She felt relaxed for the first time in the last forty eight hours, sitting here with a bowl full of potato chips and Gippal just watching some TV like how they used to do it when he first got his own place. They had been so excited about not having to deal with headmasters, and bedtimes and all that other bullshit that when it relly came down to it they didn't know what to do with all their free time. So either they'd get high, or watch tv, or both. The strange look Gippal was giving her now made Paine wonder.

"What?" She asked looking up at him.

Gippal turned toward the coffee table, picked up the remote, and turned the TV off before playing with the broken sound button for a moment.

Paine sat up a little sensing that whatever he had prepared to say was important. "What'd you do?" She joked knowing his guilty look well.

"P…" He started. "I um…fuck I'm just gonna come out and say it okay?"

Paine nodded slowly. "Alright."

"That guy that um you beat the shit out of, Auron." Paine became even more alert than before just at the name. "He's getting' out soon."

The room was deadly silent for only a few seconds.

"What the fuck do you mean?" Paine demanded. She stood and looked at him squarely. Gippal was a known jokester, but this was taking it a little far.

Gippal exhaled. "Look Cid stopped me today, brought me in to talk to him and that other guy—"

"Braska?"

"Whatever. They said they needed my help, that he was coming out and they wanted to ask me if I was still talkin' to Dona." Paine looked away at the mention of the lost name. "Said they needed her because she's still talkin' to Bart who's this guys new cellmate or some shit."

Paine felt her mouth get as dry as Bikanel desert. "What the fuck are you telling me right now Gip?" It was growled out, as if she didn't want to believe what he was saying to her.

"I'm tellin' you because they were gonna wait till this weekend to tell you and Cid's girl….He's gettin' released man," He waited for some kind of something, a yell, a curse, a cry, fucking anything! All he got though was a slight nod and the scene of her snatching up her keys and leaving the apartment. He reached over to grab her leather jacket off the back of the couch and fingered the worn material. She never just left it somewhere…

##

Rikku laughed a little. "Ugh Pops c'mon stop it, just sign already!"

Cid laughed a little himself and grabbed his pen to begin signing the paperwork that Rikku needed to get the money from her trust account and finally pay for Paine's wedding present. "You're in a rush." He motioned to her heels that she was still wearing as she stood near the breakfast nook and leaned against the small table he was seated at.

"I'm supposed to meet Yunie at Gigi's we're gonna get after work drinks."

"After work." He shook his head. "You just like saying that."

It was true, she did.

Rikku shrugged as she watched him initial C. B Jr. on several tiny lines. Her thoughts shifted to yesterday's clinic visit and what doctor Raymond told her and Paine. She tried to think of a roundabout way of asking about it. "Have you spoken to Brother yet?"

Cid looked up. "Yet? Why yet? What has he done?"

Rikku giggled at the real look of routine worry. "Nothing, I'm just askin'. I really want him to visit soon."

Cid went back to signing papers. "No I haven't actually.""

"Training started for them…doesn't leave him with much time…for like girls." Rikku bit the inside of her mouth at how forced it sounded for her to be caring too deeply about her brother's love life.

Luckily for her Cid was preoccupied. "Your brother is going through a hard time right now." He had tried to talk to him about finding his grandmother's body but the famous athlete didn't want to even do that. "He's probably off somewhere getting more tattoos."

Rikku chuckled a little at the truth. "I'm gonna get one."

"Of what Milan?"

Rikku shrugged. "Of like something I like, isn't that the idea?"

"I suppose, just don't get anything you will regret."

"Do you regret yours?" She asked referring to the "T" and "M" on his ankles that stood for Turin and Milan, Kirill's and Rikku's middle names respectively.

Cid looked up; he got a strange look in his eyes as he thought to say something but he held it back and returned to signing a large majority of Rikku's trust away. "How could I? You two are my world."

Rikku smiled a little at that and then saw her opening. "I think when I have kids I'll have their names tattooed."

Cid looked up at his smiling daughter, she had that little head tilt going on and she just stared right back at him with no fear. He sighed and rested his pen down. She gave him the exact look many years before when he had told her she needed to slow down while playing with her brother. She gave him that look, and then proceeded to run around the house naked singing a child's song in Al Bhed. She had been two then. "Milan is there something you want to tell m—" Just then loud banging was heard at the front door. He immediately stood.

"Who in the poop?" Rikku asked.

"Braska probably." Cid hoped he hadn't done something stupid. Still he maintained a healthy stride in front of his daughter as they went down the hall to the small foyer before the stairs. Leblanc was out at a function Cid was too tired to care for so she wasn't here, if she were she'd undoubtly be the receiver to Paine Kerrigan's rage.

Cid grew confused when he opened the door and saw his daughter in law standing there. "Kid."

Paine shook her head. "Don't you fucking kid me."

"Whoa Paine." Rikku stepped in front of her dad a little surprised at the edge in her wife' voice.

Paine faltered upon seeing Rikku pop out of nowhere. "What the fuck are you doing here?" She was supposed to be out getting drinks with Yuna…right? Or was this another lie?

"I stopped by for a second to get—what are you doing here?"

Cid spoke up. "Paine obviously you're upset about something, but that's no way…" As he spoke Rikku got a real good look at her wife. Her stance was well balanced; her left foot slightly in front of her right, her pale hands were in balls at her sides and her jaw was clenched as if she were grinding her teeth.

"Hold on, what's going on?" Rikku raised a hand to stop her dad from defending her honor.

Paine looked back at Cid and the realization in his face casted onto hers.

Gippal wasn't supposed to tell her and he did.

"Oh what? He didn't tell you babe?" Paine asked sarcastically as she motioned to Cid. She looked back at him. "You son of a bitch."

"Paine!" Rikku cut in. That was her grandma she was talking about! "That's enough okay? What has gotten into you?" She stepped out onto the small porch and gently grabbed her hand. "Where's your jacket?" She furrowed a brow when she realized for the first time that Paine was out here in the snow with nothing but a simple black v neck, some jeans, and sneakers sodden with the melted snow she was tracking.

"Forget the damn jacket Rikku!" Paine snatched her hand back. "Get in the car."

Rikku raised a brow sharply at her. "Excuse me?

Paine stared back at her. "I said get in the fucking car. We're leaving."

"Alright enough!" Cid yelled. "Is that how you speak to your wife?"

"I don't know. Is that how you treat you daughter? I mean you got some real fucking nerve. Smiling and shit at the wedding when you knew the whole fucking time didn't you? Didn't you!?" Paine couldn't even see she was so livid. After everything they had been through. After everything Rikku had to go through on her own. No, Paine did not give a fuck whose father he was. In her eyes he was playing games, games that she knew affected their safety.

"Paine Kerrigan." Rikku bit sharply enough to get Paine's attention. This kind of behavior was so crazy and unlike her wife she had to wonder. They stared each other down for a millisecond before Paine looked away. Rikku grabbed her arm and pulled her into the house. "Fryd ec fnuhk fedr oui? Dryd'c so vydran, un tet oui cusaruf syhyka du vunkad ruf du cbayg du baubma? Rao, muug yd sa." Cid heard his daughter chide her wife as he closed the front door with a heavy sigh.

They were doing this now he supposed.

"—Oh so you think it's just me acting up right? I always got a fucking behavioral problem."

"Look how you act! Fryd tu oui fyhd du pa lymmat y cuiht ytimd?"

Paine shut her mouth with what she wanted to say and tried to make her wife understand. "Rikku how else do you want me to react?" She motioned to herself. "Huh? When I find out some shit that puts _my_ fucking family in danger? You want me to just sit around and send a god damn email to everyone I have a problem with!?"

Rikku was so confused. "Paine what the hell are you even going on about!?"

"I'm talking about Auron!"

"Auron?"

Cid chose that time to cut in and rest a hand on Paine's shoulder. "Alright rel—"

Paine shoved it off quickly. "Don't fucking touch me." She pointed at him. "Don't." He had done it before no problem, but the false idea of family was starting to wash away. Family was supposed to look out for one another. Gippal was family.

"Hey!" Rikku narrowed her eyes at Paine menacingly. Her father wasn't some thug that deserved the look Paine was giving him. "Cdub ed." She growled.

Paine took that as her final warning. She was something on her own, but a pissed off Rikku was not one to mess with. She put her hands up and stepped back before crossing them. "Tell her." She looked at Cid.

Rikku looked at her father. "Tell me what?"

Cid wet his lips and sighed. The unsurprising feeling of shame washed over him then. "Let's sit in the den."

"No, Pop tell me." Rikku was starting to realize why Paine had come in guns blazing. The hall where they were standing congested grew quiet. The air becoming thick like syrup as Rikku began to put two and two together. The very sorry expression in her father's warm green eyes began to tell her something she was not even half way prepared to hear. "Pop?" She tried again, an echo.

"Four years ago Auron set up to have an appeal to the case against Paine."

Rikku put a hand over her mouth; the floor suddenly beginning to move from under her.

"Somehow Milan, somehow he managed to get the charges acquitted, your uncle um, has been handling it since then. He hasn't told any of us." He gave Paine a very stern look. "Because he didn't want you both to live in fear, and need I remind you haven't." He was beginning to get a headache himself at how thick tension in the room was. He hadn't dropped the line yet but he knew when he did it would be as real as the clothes he were wearing. Paine looked like she was ready to kick the shit out of a puppy if it barked at her the wrong way, Rikku looked pale. He shifted his weight. "He's set to release in two weeks."

"Two weeks!"

That had been Paine's response. Rikku just stood silently. It was hard for her to make sense of all the random firings of neurons, not to mention nauseating just thinking about what they all could mean. Suddenly she needed to sit down.

"I didn't know until yesterday." Cid explained to Paine who was having a hard time believing him. They both were stopped when Rikku's knees turned to jelly and she fell forward. They both reached out for her but Paine was faster.

She scooped her up closely. "Hey Princess, hey." She whispered, panic evident in her eyes as she searched Rikku's face. "Are you alright?" She shook her lightly. "Hey."

Cid just stood there, empty handed, heavy hearted, and educated in a very important lesson he had not expected to be taught by Paine of all people.

Paine had done the absolute right thing in coming here so pissed off, ready to fight anyone who got in her way of keeping Rikku safe and away from Auron. She had acted with her heart not caring for the logic or how it would seem. Paine wasn't afraid of him, and she made that very clear that her only concern was Rikku and getting to the bottom of things. She loved her something awful and he had stood in the way.

And what did he do?

Moped around for the past twenty four hours, worring about how his daughter would react. For Yevon's sake he had punched his brother in law! The real animal, the real person that was standing in the way of his family, Paine and everyone else included was Auron. Auron had caused all this and he wasn't even out yet. Cid couldn't stand for it anymore. Milana was gone now, and he was solely in charge. Though she wouldn't approve of what he was about to do he knew he had to. For family.

Paine had carried Rikku off into the den and had rested her on the couch when Cid came to his realization.

"You want some water?" The fighter murmured to a hazy eyed Rikku. She was floating in and out of shock.

"I'll be right back." Cid announced.

Paine looked up at him incredulously. His kid just faints and he leaves? "What!?"

Cid was gathering his wallet and his keys. "Take care of her." And before Paine knew it he was gone.

"Paine…"

She ignored Cid's departure and looked back at Rikku. "Yeah, I'm right here." She felt Rikku search for her hand, her fingers were shaking. Paine got hold of it and held it firm, "I'm right here." Their eyes met and Paine was disarmed. "Nothings gonna happen." She found herself needing to say it. It was as if they were back in her old room on Crenshaw the night Auron attacked her. Rikku couldn't sleep until Paine had climbed up on her twin size bed with her. She could remember looking down into the same green pools of worry. "Nothing's gonna happen." She repeated when Rikku closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She just laid there a minute, vivid scenes she had locked away somehow pushing down the walls of her mind and taking over. Her eyes watered but she bit them back as best as she could.

Something always happened.

##

"Yuna?"

Yuna turned on her stool and smiled. "Hey you. What are you doing here?"

Baralai Montgomery had arrived with a few co-workers to unwind after the long day. He had thought he'd come along for just a drink or two to say that he was there and then head home where a very lonely puppy waited for his attention no doubt, but now as he saw Yuna at the bar sitting alone enjoying a glass of wine he reconsidered. "After work drinks. May I?"

Yuna nodded quickly and moved her clutch aside from off the bar. "Baralai."

He chuckled a little. He had always liked the way she pronounced his name, so formal yet so playful at the same time. She was wearing a spaghetti strapped dress that wasn't too extravagant, but also showed off her collar bone and dainty arms well. He motioned tot eh bartender to come over once he was done with his current order and the twirled the huge bracelet on Yuna's hand. "This looks expensive."

" suit though." She touched his arm where his sleeve had been rolled up. "Bevelle?"

Lai nodded once and adjusted his sleves, the suits here were too boxy for him, too thick too. Bevellian suits were smoother. He liked the fit on them. This one was grey. Of course Yuna would notice the difference. "What are you doing here all alone?" He looked around half expecting Rikku to pounce him into a hug. Or maybe even Tidus Meadows would come out of nowhere and clear his throat until he got of his seat.

Yuna went back to worrying. "Well I meant to meet Rikku but she hasn't shown yet." She pursed her lips together fearing the worst. Maybe she had car trouble? It was raining lightly and Rikku wasn't exactly a nominee for best driver of the year award.

He could sense her hesitation in saying anything else. "Well if anything I can call Paine."

Yuna shook her head. "Oh no,I'm sure it's just traffic."

"How late is she?"

"Only ten minutes or so." Yuna picked up her wine glass.

"Hm, well I'd be more than happy to wait with you till she comes."

Yuna smiled gently. "Why don't you have someone else to try and charm?"

He laughed. "So you think I'm charming?"

She rolled her eyes. They had been down this path before, tried a relationship even, the only reason things hadn't "worked out" was because Yuna didn't do long distance, not since the Tidus thing, and Lai was going away for a while for work. That was the real reason, but what they told everyone else was that they were much better as friends, and in a lot of ways they were. She just felt comfortable around him, and she really hadn't felt anything since Tidus arrived into town. Lai was smart, funny, handsome, sure he might be bisexual or gay or something but that didn't mean she liked spending time with him any less. There was no harm in a little conversation with someone she knew..

"Your coworkers won't mind?" She motioned to the group of men dressed in suits near the other side of the bar looking over at them every now and then.

Lai shook his head no. "Course not." He finally got the bartenders attention.

##

_"Feeding her ideas on how you didn't like it? Rikku let's be honest here."_

_"I made a mistake." Rikku said firmly. "You, were a mistake." It took everything in Rikku not to cry or have her voice break. Having Paine and Auron in the same room was a nightmare. She wanted to protect Paine's view of her, but the more Auron spoke the more doubt she could see rise in Paine._

_"You say that now, but I know what you really like, what you want." He looked to Paine. "She can't do anything for you. She's a bad day away from becoming the drug addict she was before she knew you. Do you really think she can protect you like I can?" Auron shook his head no. "You have everyone fooled Kerrigan, even Cid. He's got his head too far up Juliann's ass to realize that his daughter is being corrupted by some—"_

_"Enough!"_

Rikku started awake with sharp and shallow series of breaths. She blindly grasped at a throw pillow and held on as tightly as her small hands would let her. Tears welled in her eyes when she realized she was alone in the dark den, alone in the house. She had never known a fear as visceral as this. Everything seemed to have a pulse; the walls, the end tables, the pillow… Rikku pushed the small bit of comfort away and tried to control her breathing.

You're okay…You're okay...You're okay…

"Hey."

Rikku literally jumped and let up a yelp of surprise that was soon deflated when she noticed Paine's silhouette in the den doorway. Her heart still beating quickly though as if unsure if something else was going to happen. "Pypo." It was wispy.

Paine stepped into the dim den and moved to sit beside her wife on the couch there. Everything about her movements was slow and calculated Rikku knew this meant Paine was picking her words wisely. Auburn met spirally jade and it was at that moment that Rikku felt a hard mass form at the pit of her stomach and weighs her down indefinitely.

"You okay?" Paine whispered. Rikku had basically just passed out into a deep sleep and Paine was able to tell she was breathing so she decided that a hospital wasn't necessary. She ignored a small flinch from the blonde as she used her right hand to brush some hair out of her face, "You good?" She whispered again cupping Rikku's jaw gently before letting her hand fall. Rikku was quick to gather it up with both her hands as if it were the first leaf of autumn to fall.

"Paine…" It was all she could say, she knew Paine knew she was terrified of the news.

Paine swallowed gently. Her throat had been dry since leaving Gippal's house and looking at Rikku now like this didn't help it. Looking at Rikku now made her feel a lot of things. Some Paine never hoped to feel again. "I know." She whispered.

Rikku sniffled and tried to gain some control of herself. "What do we do?"

Now that was a question. Paine exhaled and shook her head lightly. "You wanna leave?" She had to ask. She'd go anywhere for Rikku.

"Leave? This is our home…" Paine nodded and it was then that Rikku realized how dark it was, and how still the large house seemed. "Where's my dad?" She wanted answers, no she _needed_ them.

Paine bit her lip. "Leblanc went to looking for him."

"Looking for him?" Concern rose in her voice. "He left?" She moved to get up and let go of Paine's hand but Paine held it a little tighter. "Pai.."

"Rikku just sit down a minute."

Rikku eased back into her previous position. "What…what's wrong?"

"You need to be completely honest with me about something."

Realizing how serious her wife was being Rikku nodded once. "Ask."

"Over the years, has Auron tried to contact you in any way?"

"What?" Rikku furrowed her brows. "No." She shook her head no again.

Paine still remained firm. "Are you sure?"

Suddenly her face paled. "Has he?" Paine's silence was all that she needed to hear before she buried her face in her hands. "Oh Shiva."

"He's contacted his old TA, lookin' around school files. Leblanc is still in the department that's why she wanted to know…She said that Cid didn't know…" Paine noticed Rikku's short lived resolve continue to crumble. "She said that since his charges didn't include something like murder that this was…just a matter of time, then she left to find your dad…." Paine was beside herself with anger, but looking at Rikku now made her pull it together if not for her sake alone. "Hey…" She whispered. "Don't freak out."

Rikku looked at her. "How can you ask that? If he was trying to find me and he knows he's getting released soon how can you ask me not to freak out?" Her eyes were filled with worry and dampened by the silent tears sliding down the slight curve of her cheek. Paine wiped them away.

"Because I promised you five years ago that I wouldn't let anything happen to you. I just need you to trust me." Rikku didn't say anything and Paine felt her anger rise a little at the thought of the past two months. This was exactly the thing she wanted to avoid. In a way she knew Leblanc was right, they couldn't expect him to stay in there forever, but at the same time she felt like ever since waking up six years ago and vowing to live a cleaner life, life was continuously shitting on her. The good times felt amazing, and that's what made the shit just seem so much heavier when it did come around. Paine shook her head. "I hate waiting."

Rikku looked at her then. "How long have I been out?"

"Not thirty minutes."

"So I just missed her?" Paine nodded. Rikku brought her hand to her hair and shook it a little as she lightly ran her nails down her scalp. "I don't even think I have the energy to be mad at Uncle B…"

"I have plenty."

"Paine."

"Rikku he knew for years…_years_."

"What difference would that have made?" Rikku raised her voice a little and looked squarely at her wife. "I need you with me right now ok, not off yelling at people who had our best interest in mind. I need you with me." She repeated finally remembering Paine's behavior earlier.

"I am with you Rikku but there is something you need to understand." Paine wasn't submitting, no, this was something she felt too strongly about. "We're not children alright? We aren't in fucking college anymore, this affects you and I more than anyone in this damn family, and everyone held back. What if something was to happen and he was able to get information on you? Have someone follow you, my own mother did that to me you don't think this fucking psycho wouldn't do the same? I couldn't…"She began to break down a little. "I couldn't stand learning something happened to you when it could have been different… I don't give a fuck how much you love them, they were careless." Paine shook her head. "They were careless Ri. Again." If they hadn't underestimated Auron none of this would have even happened, if they weren't so comfortable with him in their lives Rikku would have never been able to be in this seat in the first place. Paine looked away for a moment trying not to think of her wife and Auron being intimate all those years back. She turned and locked eyes with her. "I'm not careless."

Rikku sighed. "I know you aren't, baby." Paine raised a lot of valid points, Rikku wasn't a poor defenseless thing anymore. She had changed and grown and yeah she was scared, but she wasn't twenty years old, she was twenty five, buying her first home, and even worrying about something like fertility. Twenty year old Rikku wasn't even thinking that far. He was a bully, and he was trying to be manipulative just as she remembered him being. He wasn't even out of jail yet! Rikku silently placed her hand over Paine's without looking at her. "I want to go to the police."

Paine rubbed at her temple with her free hand to try and release some of the pressure there. "Let's wait till we know everything first."

She nodded in agreement before turning to look at Paine when something crossed her mind. 'How did you find out?" Paine had shown up ready to behead someone, it took a lot for her wife to get like that.

"They cornered Gippal with some plan, that's why he wanted to see me." She remembered her best friend then and reminded herself to thank him. "When were they gonna say somethin' if Gippal hadn't?"

Rikku couldn't argue with any of this. Paine had been right, when exactly were they to find out? Would her uncles fear of her response really make him act so careless? Would Auron just simply knock the door again, push his way inside? She stood. "I'm going to make tea." She needed to do something with her hands, she couldn't stand the shaking. "Come?"

Paine looked up at her at the request. She was about to say the kitchen was literally right there but then remembered. Paine stood and followed her wife into the kitchen and leaned up against the counter as Rikku nervously cleared the breakfast nook of some random files before setting to make them tea. Just as Rikku escaped in the silence so did Paine. She couldn't quite get a hold of her emotions but she tried her hardest. All she could think about though, all that would come up was that fated morning. She could remember feeling happy, hung over from her twenty first birthday celebrations, but as giddy as a child. She had essentially asked Rikku out the night before, she had admitted her feelings and though Rikku played at Paine being drunk Paine knew the blonde had been smiling the whole time….

_"She looked like you but she wasn't you."_

_"Wait wait wait."_

_"I know!" Paine whined. "It sounds bad and I know that you think things happened. I didn't stay, I left Rikks. I left and then I did twenty one shots cause I'm twenty one today." She sounded very proud of herself for remembering. "Err… Yesterday."_

_"I know you are, silly." Rikku shook her head and lay back down. Paine would be fine. "I was the first one to say it remember?"_

_"Yeah you said it early when we were talking…"_

_"So besides the strip club and the stripper who looked like me, but wasn't, what did you do tonight?"_

_"I was good."_

_"Did you have fun at the club?"_

_"Yes." Paine was quiet trying to get her thoughts together. "I'm gonna say something, and I know I'm drunk, but, I, wanted you to know that I think you are gorgeous, and smart, and funny, and I want to take you places and have it mean something other than us just hanging out cause I don't wanna hang out forever and ever and Gippal said that if I wanted to impress you I should do that, usually he's wrong but I think he's right, I think that I should ask you when I'm sober and I think that you would say yes, I hope that you would but I just wanted to know before I ask you, what you would say? I've never done this before… all that seems wrong, wait. Let me start over. I—"_

_Rikku had the biggest smile on her face. "Wait Paine, slow down."_

Then all of that positive energy was shattered at the sound of her cry for help.

_"Help!"_

_"I said shut up!"_

Paine hadn't realized that she had started to clench her fists.

He had pushed his filthy hands all over her wife and was now getting out scott free. Not even a slap on the wrist.

It was then that Paine realized Auron going to jail was probably the best thing to happen to her, and him coming out would probably put her in all types of troubles. Troubles she had been close to, but never in before. Troubles that might sacrifice her own personal wants, maybe this was how it had to be for Rikku to be safe. Paine looked over at the blonde. All she ever wanted was to be able to make Rikku happy because she brought so much gentleness, so much peace to Paine's life. It was like she had been letting her down recently though, like she was causing Rikku more strife than laughs. Paine brushed off the feeling of inadequacy for the second time that week as quickly as she could and went to sit across from Rikku when the tea was done.

Not two sips into their silence the front door of the home could be heard being keyed into.

"—Fix it!" Leblanc barked.

The front door slammed. "I'm damn well trying too! How am I supposed to know where he went?" It was Braska.

"You are the grand orchestrator of this right? You are the man with the plan."

"You're a lawyer too! For Yevon's sake did you really…" They had made their way up the hall and finally into the kitchen. Braska looked at the already worn couple seated at the nook pretending to be drinking tea. "Rikku Milan, Paine…"

Paine stood from the nook when Rikku made no move to acknowledge her uncle's presence. "No excuses, you sit down and tell us everything, and then get the fuck out of my face with the sad stories." She put her cup down and turned to Rikku then looked at Braska again. "I don't want you representing me anymore Braska. I can't trust you, and it's clear you're too far emotionally invested to do the right thing." Rikku looked up at that a little surprised.

Braska however seemed to take that news a bit better than anyone else in the room. He nodded slowly and put his hands in his pockets. "Alright then." He had expected Paine to react this way from the beginning though, it's what he admired about her. She was strong willed, and you could try all you wanted to convince her the sky was blue, if she thought it was red with all her being it was red and go fuck yourself for trying to trick her. Some called it ignorance, he didn't think so. He would never say Paine was ignorant, she wasn't a push over. She wouldn't take being deceived well, too many people in her life had done that and gotten away with it. He was just half expecting more anger though. He watched as she walked off into the den leaving uncle and niece to have a few words of their own.

This was the hard part.

Leblanc left the near hall and with heavy feet Braska Shaw moved to sit across from his niece. He could see that she had been crying and it made him feel like shit. "Rikku Mlan." His words were soft.

Rikku looked up from her tea at him, the warmth the hot liquid saturated her face with left her pours open. "I know why Uncle B…but I'm having a hard time looking at you and not wishing things could have been different." She paused a moment before finding the words. "I'm not helpless, this shows me that that's how you see me, and maybe you still feel guilty about the first time, maybe that's why Uncle B, but that was no one's fault but my own. Maybe you need to hear it to get rid of this view you have of me…" Her lips trembled a little. "I had sex with him, I don't know why, but I did, I made a mistake, but it was my mistake. Stop...you and Pops and everyone just stop acting like it was your fault. It was my own." They both fell quiet. Braska made no move to talk. "I was afraid to tell you because of you would treat me after, and look, I was right."

"I wanted you to be happy."

"I would have found happiness again, just like before." She really was tired of people thinking they had a better handle on her emotions, her life than she had. Rikku got up from the table and took her tea cup into the den with her. Braska at back into the plush backseat of the nook and watched the door leading to the den slap close. Though he envisioned much more yelling and tears, something told him that his relationship with his niece would never be the same. He took a moment to ground himself before going into the den and letting the couple know what he knew. Upstairs he could hear Juliann walking about in her heels. She had yet to take them off which meant she would be leaving again to look for Cid. Just before him in the den he got the tail end of something Paine had just said, her voice finding it hard to relax into a normal tone for conversation. He didn't blame her, he didn't blame any of them. He did however feel guilt, shame, Rikku did not think he respected her, and for a moment Braska wondered if that's where his motives came from. Always projecting, always being the one to hold back in favor of the family, the martyr. Had this been misconstrued? Had he really just seemed like a situation hog, always needing to be in charge of things? Paine said she didn't trust him, he doubted she ever really fully did, but to hear it again, to hear that he had lost someone's trust again, it made him wonder If all his hard work to keep this quiet was worth it.

He got up and headed into the den. The lights had been turned on now fully illuminating the room. Paine and Rikku sat close, but not touching. "I'll tell you everything I know, and then send over all the files to your office, Paine. If legal action is required you'll need them." He stated before pulling his hands out of his pockets and trying to find the right way to start this. "You both are upset, and rightfully so, my intension was to take care of this so you'd never have to know, but now I see maybe this was the wrong approach."

Paine sighed a little in annoyance and Rikku spoke up. "Just tell us what happened."

Braska nodded and recalled getting the appeal from Jenkins all those years back. "His lawyer brought me the appeal, my old apprentice Jenkins. He expressed concern about the document off the record."

"Concerns?" Rikku asked.

"Right, he didn't believe in the authenticity of the report and needed my counsel on how to continue."

"The same guy who tried to get me locked up suddenly expressed concern, and let me guess, you believed him." Paine shook her head at the whole thing.

Braska nodded. "He has been instrumental, the trial all those years ago was nothing more than a young lawyer's grab at experience, we all take that grab one way or another in our career, he has proven his loyalty, lost his job."

"How could he appeal a case that was already ruled against though?" Rikku asked remembering bits of her criminal law class at NLU. "He couldn't have won."

Her uncle nodded. "This is what I thought, it appears though that just the act of appeal has opened the case back up for inspection though, There he was able to create a loop whole in the trail."

"Which was?" Paine asked.

"Which was Rikku's consensual relations before the incident occurred." The room fell deathly quiet. "He approached the appeal at the same angle as the case, you Paine were jealous and out of control, getting in the middle of foreplay."

Rikku snapped her head up, fire in her green eyes. "Him pushing himself on me, hitting me, that is foreplay?" She could remember the sake on his breath, the unsettling feeling of a pointed pressure against her inner thigh. "He was drunk!"

Always somewhat in tune with the others energy output Paine could feel Rikku tense up, her shoulders held it's posture, and her tea no longer of any importance. She looked back to Braska who rightfully was trying not to think on the details. This was his niece after all. She realized that being subjective was probably one of the hardest things Braska had to do while trying the case. She felt the smallest bit of empathy then, an iota. "He went to the hospital where I was working after, what about the reports taken there, it had to have said something about him being drunk." She spoke up.

Braska thought on this for a moment. "Yes."

Paine blinked. "Yes?"

Braska could tell his answer irked her so he tried to elaborate. "That evidence was overlooked during the trial and the appeal. It could be turned against you, Paine."

"How? He…" She simply glanced at Rikku not able to be as bold as the blonde. "He would have hurt her."

"Yes but also the level he was at measured out and was seen as unbalanced, vulnerable. Alcoholics are a protected class, the jury believed he was one."

"You mean to tell me the jury thought that a fucking two hundred and something pound man was more vulnerable and a danger to others while intoxicated?" Braska nodded once. "You gotta be fucking kidding me."

"Your superlatives as a judo fighter, violent history, and past drug problems made you the easier target, the random variable."

Paine rolled her eyes at the story of her life. "And now that Rikku and are married…."

Braska nodded. "It will only make things worse…but also—"

Rikku then turned and looked to Paine and then her uncle. "You didn't tell us."

He nodded and finished her thought. "Because a spouse cannot be forced to testify in court against another spouse, she can't even take the stand if she doesn't want to. If this were to get any further than the appeals court. I wanted you at least to be protected."

Paine sighed. She had to hand it to him that was fucking good, it still didn't settle her stomach though. The story wasn't over, because somehow none of that mattered, Auron was getting out. "So how is he getting out in two weeks then? If you're so calculated?"

He ignored the petty jab to his ability as a lawyer. "Simple, he bought his way out."

"The judicial system at its finest."

"The judge that happened to be reviewing the case didn't care what I said or came with, he and Auron went to law school together, and he was paid."

"Can we get proof of that?" Rikku wondered knowing it would bring all this to an end and keep him in jail longer. She paused though as Braska answered. Keep him there longer for what? So he'd come out again at some point? So they could put this conversation on hold for another five years? So she could live in fear always wondering if today would be the day?

"—and that's where we are with that."

Paine nodded. "Now where did Gippal fit in all this shit?"

Braska leaned his back against the fireplace mantel. The cool was somewhat comforting as he tried to lay out his plan. "His new cellmate."

Paine looked off for a moment to recall what Gippal had said about Bart and Dona being in on this somehow. She had thought she'd never even hear those names again. She had heard through Gippal that Bart's sentence had been extended, apparently he stabbed someone or something resulting in them dying in the infirmary. Typical Barthello. Then Dona and her sisters lived in Brimley, a project on the "brim" of Crenshaw. Paine never had a reason to be down there, and even if she had she'd probably find a way around that reason. "Bart."

Braska nodded. "Barthello Pilgrim was moved there after killing someone. Newly sentenced and probably feeling the time more than ever I wanted to strike him a deal."

Rikku strained to remember the name Bart, it was only the Pilgrim that connected. Dona's older brother, it was all coming back. He had been the one to be with Paine when she overdosed, he was the one that started stuff at that block party all those years back before she and Paine were even dating properly. She didn't like any of the Pilgrims, especially Dona, but she could see how this could be a potential problem or solution. "You wanted to make a deal with him?" She looked to Paine. "Hasn't he found out yet that you and Gippal set him up for killing your friend?"

"Shu…" His name was more of a ghost than ever. She still had his beanie, over the years it had frayed a bit but Yuna took right to it and soon it was wearable again. Paine was quiet another moment as if to suppress all the memories she associated with him back in her Crenshaw days. "He's gotta know something…"

"There are possibilities that he does, but his sister visits him quiet often, we wanted to use her to get to him, Gippal seemed to be against this."

"I don't want anything to do with either of them." Paine decided, This sounded an awful lot like Braska was going to offer some kind of legal help to Bart, who then would consider it a favor, and Paine didn't want to owe anyone, especially the Pilgrim's favors. She shook her head at the thought. "His ass can stay right there with Auron."

"Paine then…he walks." Braska shook his head. "These judges aren't new at laundering money. He will get out…."

She shook her head. "I know these people. It won't just be this one thing."

##

The room smelt of oil paint faded into cedar wood. The sunrise through the cloudy window shoveled oranges and pinks into the small space. Rikku just stood there watching the morning awaken. When she were younger she longed to be able to watch the day wake up. Ever since her mother had told her of the sleep cycle of time. Just as you time had to sleep too, the morning sunrise was a testament to that. New beginnings, Napendr.

When she was little she believed that when she awoke each morning, she awoke a new person in a new short story to put into the big book called Rikku. Sometimes she still thought that way, others she was holding onto yesterday, so many things had been left undone, did she water the plants yesterday? Did Paine remember to wash the dishes? What about money, rent would be due soon, groceries… Lost were the days of waking up carefree. She was an adult, she dressed up for work, she had things to do. Weekdays were usually like that. Rikku wanted more than anything, as she stood at the small circular attic window the nest morning with red puffy eyes and a throbbing head, she wanted more than anything to be reborn with the morning.

She hadn't been up here since before the wedding. The easel held a starched pad with the painting she had done that day, excited greens and oranges, she could remember the feeling well when she moved to look at it. She was happy. Rikku bit her bottom lip gently and examined the blank area near the bottom of the startched board. Her Knyhtsudran had called to let her know she was on her way into the city with her brother and was in need of directions because apparently for all his worth Kirill didn't know how to get onto the right highway. She had smiled widely and stepped away from the paints.

Rikku was glad in that moment that her Knyhtsudran didn't have to see her now.

She turned to look into the chest on the ground where her mother had held her paints, and where she had kept them too. It seemed almost fitting that the deep amber and smoky violet were the only tubes unused, as if somehow they knew they were being reserved for this. Rikku was surprised at how once so apart of her her her palette felt heavy on her right arm. She stared at the stain blotches of paint once separate but now mixed.

She began to brush in the empty white spaces

Her gentle stroke curved around the outline of happy yellow with the amber; a transition into smoke filled purple. A color so rich and royal, yet cloudy in this right. Rikku wet her lips as she painted not even noticing that after fifteen minutes of detail work the strong aroma of coffee beans melded with the familiar paint.

Paine leaned against the doorframe with two coffee mugs in hand and just watched her wife paint in the morning hue. Her mind was soothed by the sight. Rikku seemed so angelic here, so quieted, so wise, so beautiful.

She had fallen in love with her up here; in this attic.

Paine thought about just going back downstairs and waiting till she was done with her thoughts, but Rikku had looked up just then and caught her eye. There was no change in expression, in fact Rikku had just went back to painting, but there had been her eyes, Paine knew it was invitation.

She slowly padded over to the round window and looked out to the slushy morning on the quiet street she had come to know as well as her own. She brought the warm mug to her lips before watching the morning. The neighbors were readying to leave for the morning. Though she wondered if you could call them neighbors with how far away they were. She wondered briefly if Rikku ever missed the space, their apartment was tiny, would she feel closed in now? No room to paint.

"I'm sure he's fine." Rikku finally spoke

Paine turned back from the window and looked back over at her wife clad in her red boy short underwear and a white spaghetti strapped top. She knew from experience of sharing a bed with her for the better part of half a decade that she generated no body heat whatsoever, and got chcocobo feathers when she were in temperatures like this. The attic wasn't warmed at all, and the circular window she was just looking out caused a nasty draft, yet there she was; unmoved. "Yeah." She knew Rikku was stilled worried though. Her father had yet to show up. "I made you coffee." She would need it with the lack of sleep they both got. They had laid awake in Rikku's old room spooned together not saying a word, in fact this was the first conversation they had together since last night.

Rikku looked up then as if she was first noticing the aroma of coffee in the air. "Oh." It was a grateful sound. She rested her palette down on the ground as Paine approached her with the two cups. Rikku took the mug with the lighter contents automatically knowing it to be hers. "Thank you." She whispered before taking a sip.

Paine nodded and went to sit on the crimson colored loveseat, Rikku followed suit and took a few sips from her mug and then turned to look at Paine who was taking the time to admire her socks. "Good morning, Pypo."

Paine lifted one side of her mouth in a lazy half smile. The blonde could tell her mind was plagued though. "Morning Ri." She hesitated but leaned forward and placed the smallest kiss on her lips.

They always had good morning kisses.

The little sound it made warmed Rikku up a little as she went back to drinking her coffee. "Have you slept?"

Paine shook her head. "No." A colorful spot on the ground caught her attention. It was faded and dried, and some of the original cannabis induced art work had flaked away. "Did you?

"No."

"Do you want to go for breakfast?"

"We have to go to work, Paine."

Paine looked back at her mug. "Yeah." They were kinda broke right now. Having to purchase extra flight ticket to Bikanel for Milana's sending, electricity being due, rent around the corner. Paine knew they'd be enjoying a lot of home cooked meals for the next month at least. She supposed that included breakfast. "Wakka's my only client today." She brought the mugs to her lip. "I can be home early."

Rikku thought about her day. "Can you make something for dinner?"

Paine nodded. "Unless you want to come back here…"

Rikku sipped the sweet coffee. She honestly didn't want to come back here. This house sucked all the energy out of her, and her father would be fine. She wasn't going to wait on him, that's why he had a wife. Rikku found herself wanting to prove more than anything that she wasn't the helpless thing everyone thought she was. She wanted to prove that she had life to live that had no time for this bullshit. "There's chicken in the freezer."

Message received. "Okay."

After finishing their coffees Paine waited for Rikku to clean her supplies before putting them back in the chest in the corner of the room. As she waited she got a look at what the blonde had been working on. She noticed the already dry paint and then the new moisture of the lower half of the painting. "Is this the Highroad?" It reminded her of the Mi'ihen Highroad for some reason, the highroad at dusk.

Rikku paused and tilted her head to try and see what Paine saw. "I don't know what it is." She admitted before taking it off the easel and leaning it up against a wall to dry. Paine went downstairs to start her car to warm it up, it was older than Rikku's so heat wasn't on its list of things it really care about. Rikku had parted ways with her wife to go into her room and pick something out of her forgotten wardrobe to wear to work that day. All her practical stuff was at the apartment and leaving to go back there then go to work would mean she would be late by at least an hour and a half depending on traffic. She settled on some khaki pants from her high school days and a pastel peach button down she couldn't even remember owning. Her shower was brief; she didn't want to have enough time to cry. When she came out Paine was sitting on her bed going through her phone. She didn't have any clothes here, not unless you counted the couple of V-necks that Rikku stole and used as her own a while back. So she sat there in the jeans and top she wore yesterday.

Paine stood when she saw Rikku was already dressed. "You ready?"

"I need to put foundation on." She turned to her vanity and sighed at the nonexistent selection of crusty makeup. "I look like someone ran me over." She examined the bags under her eyes. "Is my bag downstairs?"

Paine nodded. "Do it in the car." Rikku reluctantly agreed and followed her downstairs. They found Juliann at the front door ready to leave when they made the last step. The older woman paused and looked at Rikku, a weird sort of feeling came over her. She had known Cid's daughter for a long time now, and somehow had assumed the role of surrogate mother to the girl no matter how much neither of them liked it. The social worker turned lawyer tried to remember something her mother had said to her, when she was scared or nervous. Then after deciding that "stay hydrated" was probably not going to soothe any worry she thought about what she imagined her mother would say if she hadn't have been a nutritionist.

"You're not doing it alone this time."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

"She's right you know." Paine thought to say once they were in her car and she was pulling out of the drive. The morning air was ice, and the streets were wet, she reminded herself again that maybe driving in the winter wasn't something she wanted to do, reminding herself of simple things like this had helped in the past, maybe it would now.

Rikku had already pulled down the little sun visor for the passages seat and had flipped open the mirror attached to it. "Who?"

Paine shifted the gear into drive when she accelerated. "Leblanc. Things are different now…he doesn't know you now."

Rikku exhaled. "I don't want to talk about this right now." She was trying to get her head into work mode. It wasn't working, and she knew it wouldn't even if Paine had remained quiet but she had to retaliate somehow.

Paine fell quiet for a moment before deciding to do what Rikku always made her do when she didn't want to talk but knew deep down she needed to. "You gonna tell me the only thing you're thinking about right now is how many square feet it would take to squeeze in another corner office?" She only glanced at Rikku before looking back at the road.

Rikku dabbed a foundation brush over her nose just twice before capping the make-up container. "No." She examined her face once more before putting her things away into her purse. "But I just put foundation on, and I don't feel like crying it off."

Paine switched into a turning lane before stopping at the light. She looked over at Rikku and frowned. "Tonight then?" The blonde truly looked like she was a sneeze away from tears and it hurt that she couldn't break down like she wanted to. Paine wished Rikku didn't have to work today or at all for that matter. She knew her love would never go for that, but sometimes, like now Paine wished she were one of those types of women. "After dinner? We can get in bed early and…" She shrugged and looked to the road. "Figure things out…" Learning that Auron was due to get out of prison in thirteen days or so was a lot to learn, especially when the thought of him hadn't crossed either of their minds in so long, an especially given the past month they had as a couple.

It all just didn't seem real.

"Figure things out…" Her wife repeated. What was there to figure out? "Paine…I get what you're trying to do, but in a lot of ways you already made all the decisions so why don't you tell me what _you_ have figured out."

Paine raised a brow and looked from Rikku to the road, and then Rikku again. "What are you talking about?"

"Firing Uncle B." She looked at her wife. "You trashed his only plan and you didn't even think to ask me to help you decide."

She was upset; Paine understood this, she didn't want to talk about it, ok she understood that too. But to accuse her of leaving Rikku out of it when she was trying to do the very opposite wasn't okay. "You really just think that Bart is going to play nicely to whatever fucked up scheme Braska had? After all these years you think he suddenly changed? Braska doesn't know him, you don't know him." Paine pulled onto the highway. "I can tell you a million and one things Auron and Bart have in common, you want to make a deal with someone like that? Fucking be my guest, but what will it really do?" She glanced at Rikku who seemed annoyed.

"You don't know everything though Paine, you barely gave him a chance to speak!"

"He had four years to speak Rikku."

"You make decisions like this is your problem."

"It was my case that got appealed."

"I didn't tell you to beat the crap out of him."

"Well I didn't tell you to fuck..." Paine caught herself but by the silence in the car Rikku had heard it.

Rikku just stared at her wife, at first a little hurt, then second knowing that her words were her weapon and that Paine truly didn't feel that way, but then third reminding herself to put herself first for once when it came to things like this. "I did what I did, but at least I know and accept it.—"

"—What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"—and what's the point of figuring things out when you're just going to do what you want to do?"

Paine glanced at her. Her good sense told her to leave it alone, it told her that they shouldn't be arguing right now, but she couldn't help feeling a little attacked. "Rikku I married you."

"I was there!"

"So why the hell are you saying that I just do whatever I want, without our best interests in mind?"

"How do you know my best interest when you hadn't even asked me yet?"

"You were supposed to be out with Yuna!"

"And it's a good thing I wasn't right? You ran in there ready to rip Pops apart for nothing!"

"Nothing?" Paine looked at her longer than she probably should have. She looked back to the road. "Alright, nothing then. Excuse me once again for overreacting babe."

The blonde rolled her eyes at her sarcasm. She decided to leave it there before they both said other things they'd regret. She watched as Paine gripped the steering wheel tightly with her left hand before taking the time to look out her own window at the city skyline. Soon she'd be in her temperature controlled office where she would be able to loose herself in her work. She loved Paine with all her heart, she loved that they were married, on a deeper level she knew she couldn't be with anyone else. Sometimes though they fought, and when they did both their tempers often got the best of them. It just stung a lot deeper now that they weren't arguing about seemingly less important things like forgetting to mention you had a doctor's appointment at a fertility clinic. Digging up these old feelings was something Rikku wished she never had to do, but alas, here she was left to deal with it all, and this time she had to rightfully acknowledge that she wasn't the only one affected by Auron. Paine had been too.

The rest of the car ride to her office building was silent. When Paine pulled up close to the newly shoveled entrance she sighed and looked over at Rikku. What was she doing? This was her woman. Guilt bubbled over after being tossed into the cauldron of emotions she had been feeling the last two days and she opened her mouth to apologize when Rikku spoke out,

"Don't bother with dinner."

The smoky haired woman bit at her apology and nodded once. She deserved that. "What are you going to eat then?"

Rikku was just about done gathering her things. "I'll have Yunie give me a ride back to Pop's place, I'll eat there."

Meaning she'd sleep there too.

Paine nodded again and sighed at herself when she felt the frosty morning air hit her cheek like a slap to the face as Rikku opened the car door.

##

The small group clustered near the entrance of the yoga room. For the beginning of the day all of the BridgePort staff walked on eggshells around their boss, and now seeing her here after lunch with her three o'clock appointment made them a little more than curious at what the reason was for such a change in character.

Inside the yoga room a large blue mat laid on the bamboo ground. World famous blitzer and apparent close friend Wakka D'Autry stood clad in black shorts and a white tank top that exposed his muscles and made the female onlookers swoon. Annie even had to admit that he was fit in all the right places as she watched along with a few of her co-workers as Paine traded gloves with the taller bronzed man. Paine was dressed in a red underarmour top and black shorts as well, barefoot and finally stretched out she slapped her gloves together a few times as Wakka adjusted his defensive gloves. No one could hear what they were saying; but both Wakka and Paine had been deep in conversation for the better part of the half hour. There were no smiles, not after the first minute of the session. Just serious fixtures creased brows, and concerned looks. Paine jumped up a little before getting into her fighter's stand and starting off with a clean right leg kick that knocked Wakka's glove off his hand as he attempted to tie the other one.

"Oooh." The small group of trainers had never seen Paine practice Judo before, they had all known she was a black belt, but seeing this now was like being in the front row seats at the blitz stadium. One of the trainers was actually recording the exchange on her cell phone as discreetly as she could.

"It's just that whenever I wanna know something and she doesn't want me to know I'm the bad guy, Then when I don't feel like pouring out my feelings about the fucking weather she gets pissed!" Paine jabbed the air once and then waited for Wakka to actually tie his gloves.

"Ay but diss aint the weather Dr. P." Wakka reminded as he set up the defensives stance. They hadn't sparred like this in a while.

"She acts like I wasn't there at all." Paine brought her gloves to protect her face as they began the dance. "Like I didn't have to deal with shit too to be with her."

Wakka slowly circled Paine and waited for her first strike. After a blow to the huge defensive glove he circled more seriously.. He had forgotten how strong she was when she was ready. "C'mon." He jeered gently as he playfully pushed her shoulder with his left hand.

Paine hated when he did that, it brought her back to being bullied as a little, being pushed around. Meaning it usually elicited the action Wakka wanted.

"She's so sexy." Annie sighed when Paine unleashed a combo of strikes and then a knee kick to the famous blitzers padded midsection.

Zen chuckled a bit. It was her last day before her vacation days started and this was actually making it an entertaining day. Though she had noticed along with everyone else that Paine had been in a mood today, she was sure it was just that, a mood.

Paine connected a right hook and bounced back a little to dance around Wakka bit as she collected her thoughts. "I mean they had sex. You know I tried to ignore it that whole time and I tried to see whatever she wanted to show me but they fucking had some sort of relationship that did go bad. That little fucker Jenkins was right. I was jealous. I was."

Wakka absorbed a few more punches before he returned one. "Why you thinkin' about this shit now ya? She's yuh wife. You think I was Lu's first? Nah not even, but I'm not gonna hold her sleeping with other people against her 'Specially ones she considers them huge mistakes. That's not what she needs from you of all people ya?"

Paine attempted a kick but it was blocked. "I just don't know what the fuck she wants me to do. My instinct is to protect her at any cost, but it's like this time around that's not enough. I have no fucking clue what she needs."

"Aye you guys just found out yesterday, I bet she doesn't even know." He blocked a few more punches.

"I keep trying to tell myself that, last night I lay awake just thinking of things to say to her in the morning."

"What'd you come up with?"

"None, I just made her coffee." Paine shook her head at her inability to construct sentences when she felt they were most needed. "She doesn't wanna hear that everything's gonna be alright." She sent a particularly forceful right hook to the sparing glove. "But that's all I got."

"You think this guy really gonna try something? How much does he know?"

Paine sighed. "I doubt he even knows we're together still."

"But den Bart's his new cellmate?"

"Yeah…then there is that."

##

"Hey it's the wife," Lucil smiled at Paine as she walked towards her down the small hall of junior offices. She was wearing a pencil thin skirt and a soft smile. "Rikku's in her office."

She had smiled back, or at least tried. "Thanks, is she busy?" This seemed like a suicide mission the deeper she got into the Leonardi building.

"Not for you…unless." Lucil paused, "Are you the reason why she's been weird lately?"

"Today?"

"No just...lately" She shook her head and motioned to her own office. "Never mind. I got to run, but say bye when you leave kay?"

Paine nodded and continued down the hall till she reached the small office with "Rikku M. Bayla - Junior Designer, Urban Draft Initiatives" on the silver name plate under the room umber. There was a window next looking into the roomy office, the blinds tilted slightly. Her wife was hunched over her workbench with a protractor and a pencil. She looked to be deep in whatever she was doing and for a moment Paine was thinking about just waiting till she came home, if she ever did. That brief moment passed though and she knocked lightly on the door frame and waited for Rikku to look up.

Rikku didn't look up. "Just leave it on my desk." She murmured.

Paine walked into the small office and closed the door before putting the blonde's cell phone charger on the work station.

Rikku looked up automatically when she realized it wasn't Lucil and that form she was running back to her office to get. "Paine."

It was around 5 in the afternoon. Paine had left work after her session with Wakka; she had taken out the frozen chicken to thaw, showered, and dressed into some black jeans and a navy blue polo. Though the dregs of their argument still remained Rikku always felt this little spark in her when she saw Paine's familiar features. it meant home, love, joy, right now she would admit to being worried for them even though she still felt the little flutter in her chest at the sight of her bride. She was conflicted.

"Thought I'd bring it since your phone died and since…you'd need it later."

Rikku just watched her for a moment before speaking. "Okay."

Paine felt herself frown. "Okay." She turned toward the door.

"I'll be home tomorrow." Rikku called after her. Paine paused and then turned around. "I have a lot of things to get done here and I won't get off till late and then I wanted to paint some…"

The judo fighter nodded slowly. "Do you want to go to the station tomorrow then?" She hadn't forgotten Rikku's almost immediate request to go the police. Braska had done what he said he would and sent over a lot of the appeal paper work. She hadn't yet opened anything but she planned on it tonight while Rikku was over her father's place.

She nodded. "At lunch?"

"I took the day off so whenever you want to is fine."

"You took the day off?"

Paine ran a hand through her hair. "It's Friday and I didn't have anything scheduled plus I have to go sit in a parking lot and wait for Lulu, I figured I'd just spend some time with Viddy…"

She had forgotten all about Paine going to the hospital with Lulu. "After lunch then? I'm assuming lunch time is when Lulu will want to see Paul."

Paine put her hands in her pockets and then took out her right to motion to the cell charger. "Yeah."

"Thank you for brining it."

"You're welcome." Paine turned and hesitated at the door before leaving the office.

##

Gippal expertly chopped away at some scallions. "So talking about feelings is all good and shit." he used the back of his knife to empty the tiny green curls into a bowl. "But what about when shit really goes down?" He handed Paine the bowl before reaching for tomato. "You still got that piece?"

It was around eight o'clock, they had some music on and were drinking a few brews while they cooked. Seeing as how her wife wasn't coming home tonight Paine decided that she needed company. Baralai was working late just as Rikku, Elma was out of town, Wakka was with his family, but Gippal had made it a point to come over. He was worried about his best friend just leaving her leather jacket around; at least that's what he said. He was really just worried about Paine.

Paine tossed the scallions into the shallow pan and let them sweat a moment before getting bowl of tomato from Gippal next. She had pulled out the chicken that Rikku wanted her to cook for dinner, but seeing as how she wouldn't be here for dinner Paine decided to let Gippal try out a new recipe he was working on for Lap. It would be stewed chicken with mushrooms tomatoes, scallions, and herbs, over a bed of rich butter polenta. They each were two beers in and the more she tried not to think about where Rikku was or what she was doing the more she thought about it. Had her father come back yet? Was she in that house alone? With Leblanc? Was she painting and drinking tea like she often did while over there at night? Was she telling Yuna how awful of a wife she was? Or was she still at the office? Her car was at her father's house so how was she getting there?

"Dr. P!?"

Paine blinked once and noticed she was about to burn the chunks of garlic Gppal had just thrown into the pot. She jumped her wrist and the pan attached to it and tossed the mixture around a bit.

"You gonna fuck it up or what?"

"Shut up." She brushed him off easily and adjusted the heat to a lower setting watching as the blue flame flickered down.

"So you still got it?"

Paine reached for her beer. "What?"

"That piece I let you hold." He squinted at her. "The nine."

Rikku would just about loose it if she found out she still after all these years had that gun that Gippal had lent her.

"Yeah."

"One way or another he's comin', you fucked him up pretty bad." The chef glanced at her before going back to cubing butter for the polenta. "I know you thinkin' about things with Cid's girl right now, but you gotta think ahead a little."

He was coming back for either of them, and once he learned they were still together they were like sitting ducks. Paine had finally realized that on the way home from Rikku's office that he was going to stop at nothing to get them apart or even worse. His persistence over the last four years had shown proof of that.

Paine took another swing of her beer. "I don't think that's the answer…." She'd be lying if she hadn't relocated and regrouped all the weapons she owned today after leaving Rikku's office. Brass knuckles, utility knives and all. But the gun? Well let's just say Paine had a healthy respect for the machina after being shot. She hadn't moved it from its place in a small leather carrying case under her side of the bed inside the shoebox with all her stuff from foster care in years,

Gippal snorted. "Not now it aint." He moved the cubed butter into a small bowl and moved it aside before drying off his hands. "But it doesn't exactly sound like he's tryin' to sell you chocolates Dr. P. I mean c'mon? After all these years? What you did to him, what he did to Cid's girl?" He shook his head and sucked his teeth as if he had just eaten a sour candy.

Her internal voice agreed with him. "The more I think about him touching her again…" She trailed off.

"You gonna have to hold things down. And you know your old lady isn't gonna have any of that." He paused a moment. "We need a plan."

"That's why I told Lai to come by tomorrow when you do." She knew a restraining order from the police wasn't going to stop someone like Auron. She tried to swallow down whatever feeling she got when she thought about the next couple weeks of her life with a larger gulp of beer.

Gippal watched her finish the bottle and move to toss it into recycling. She opened the fridge and reached for another. "Guess we're legit now huh? No Crenshawin' it over here."

Paine got him a beer as well. "I think about all the things I'd do for her, for our family, for our future…and to be honest it scares me." She opened her beer. "I know how I get." She popped open the other and rested it near Gippal before picking up her own. "I can't just…react anymore man, not when I'm married, not when everything I do falls back on Rikku. I can't do that…."

"But?" He had finished his old bottle and reached for the new before going to check on the simmering veggies.

"But I fired my lawyer and that appeal folder is thicker than that fertility clinic one….I need a plan."

Gippal only nodded solemnly in response. He'd do anything for only a handful of people in his life, and Paine was one of them. If she couldn't do something he'd have her back, that's just how this thing worked. He just hoped it didn't come to anything to drastic. He was getting older himself. Seeing Paine mature made him mature, in his work, in his relationships. He now saw that thin line they ran back and forth across as teenagers.

The kitchen was quiet of talk for the moment. The sizzle from the sauté pan Paine was working and the knocking of Gippal's chef knife through some stubborn porcini's was all that could be heard.

"Thanks for having my back." Paine nodded after Gippal handed her a measured cup of polenta. "Telling me and all…"

The blonde shrugged his shoulders. "You needed to know."

They ate, drank, and then Gippal left. The meal, or maybe the beer, or maybe seeing Rikku's things everywhere made Paine feel a little lonely in the apartment. She deiced to try and kill brain cells by staring at the TV for a little, but that didn't help. After cleaning the kitchen, and then showering and changing into lady boxer shorts and a tank top Paine sat at their dining table with a cup of tea and two folders before her. She had kept her cell phone at her side at all times, even in the shower. She knew she was waiting up for Rikku to call. How she knew the blonde would call was beyond her, but right before reaching to the folder on her right her phone began to ring loudly. She picked up immediately.

"Hey."

Rikku was climbing into her large bed; she had a headache, and was exhausted from the day. Hearing Paine's voice made it a little better. It was now that she wished she had just gone straight home after work instead of to Yuna's shared office for a little and then here to see if her father came home. She had only found Leblanc though, and they shared a meal of ham steaks and warm pineapple in comfortable silence before each retreating to their zones.

"Hey Pai."

Paine glanced at the time. "It's real late, you still up?"

Rikku shook her head. "Did I wake you?"

"No no…I was just…" She looked at the fertility clinic informational folder she had been reaching for. "I was just about to get into bed and read."

"I'm in bed now."

There was a pause,

"I wanna say sorry about today." Paine began.

"Me too."

"Can I go first?"

She curled up "Okay."

"Today, this morning…I said some things to you that I should have never said. I just get…worked up when I think about anyone, especially Auron with his hands on you. I get upset, and there is no reason to throw that in your face because I knew it would upset you. I didn't know how to articulate how learning this all feels to me. How it felt to be in court and hear them talk about you like that when I knew the truth. It was a while ago but…I guess with him coming back so does all this…uncertainty I felt back then " Paine put her hands though her hair and stood from the table and began to turn off lights. "I'm sorry for that babe. I shouldn't have pushed. I feel like I keep fucking up…I just…" She shrugged as she flicked the kitchen light off and went into their room. "I'm sorry."

"I forgive you." Rikku fought with the right words. "But you did hurt my feelings." Paine felt like shit. In her mind she was no better than Auron at that point. "but to be fair I was looking for an outlet of some kind…somehow I wanted to blame you for something and making decisions was what I came up with.."

"But you were right, we're a team. I can't just push my way around, even if I'm so used to doing it." She got onto their bed and sighed at how cold the red sheets felt.

"We just figured it out…it's still new."

"I just wanna make sure you're okay." She admitted quietly into the phones receiver.

Rikku took a deep breath. "Pops hasn't come back yet."

"Are you worried about him?"

"More worried about the days….past and present….vidina."

"I can't know what's going to happen, but I do know we've been through some heavy stuff together. We can do this."

"I know we have. It doesn't help me not wanting to cry though…or just throw things…He's just there and even now I feel like I'm twenty years old again. Hiding in this room, hoping he doesn't know I'm here."

Paine stretched out a little. "That's what he wants though right? He wants you to be scared, that's why he hadn't done this sooner."

"What are we going to do, Paine?"

Now that was a question, and only now in the dark of their room did Paine let herself shrug gently against the silky sheets. "I don't really know yet baby."

Feeling the space between them now more than ever Rikku sighed at herself. This was her first night away from Paine being married and though at the time it was the perfect jab, right now it felt like the worst example of her Bayla pridefulness that she had ever experienced. "I'm sorry I didn't come home. I was upset…but not at you, not really."

"It's okay; I know you just needed some space."

"Yeah…but not here." She looked about her dark room. "Not without you here."

The line was quiet.

"I can come over if you want me to."

Rikku let up a rare smile for the day. "That's a half hour drive."

"That's nothing."

"No, stay in bed. I just…I just wanted to call you to say sorry and that I miss you."

"I love you."

She sighed gently. "I love you too, Paine."

"I thought we agreed no more fighting?"

"No, no more fighting." She smiled tiredly. She purposefully tired herself out just so she wouldn't have to deal with her thoughts once her head hit the pillow. "We're a team."

Paine nodded and turned over, missing Rikku's body near hers even more than ever. She briefly wondered how long it would take to get to Cid's house if she got up now. That thought was squashed with a yawn. "Well we're married and all…"

"Yeah."

"You forget?"

"How could I?" Just the memory alone made her smile. "You're my love."

Paine smiled gently. "I miss you too you know."

"I hear it in your voice." Paine sounded so sad. It broke her heart a little, the whole day she had been busying herself not to think, it probably left Paine with a lot of thinking time. They murmured for a while on the phone. It reminded them both of their college days, except now they both wore rings that they played with gently while the other spoke. Finally Rikku yawned three times in a row and though it sounded adorable Paine knew it was time to say goodnight.

"Go to sleep."

Rikku nodded to herself. "Kay."

"And call me if you wake up and can't sleep or…you want me to come over or—"

"E ghuf."

"Alright well, I love you."

"E muja oui Paine."

##

Taking the day off had increasingly become the best idea Paine had had in a while. She was able to sleep in, something she hadn't done since Christmas really, it wasn't like she missed it; she just never had the time to. Between the holidays, wedding plans and everything that had been happening to her and Rikku in the past weeks Paine hadn't been able to sleep much, there was just too much to do. Waking up alone wasn't much fun though, she would admit. After getting out of bed Paine did a few sit ups before showering quickly and entering the kitchen to make coffee and a bagel. She eyed the two folders sitting on the glass table where she had left them last night once Rikku called.

She knew she couldn't tell Rikku that everything would be just fine, but she could show her couldn't she? She could make an attempt right? Lead by example and push forward, maybe if Rikku saw that she'd be more inclined to do the same, to trust that where they were was just fine and no one, not even Auron was going to fuck it up.

The bottom line was life went on.

And the choice to actively participate or to remain crippled on the sideline was one they both had to make together.

Paine poured herself a mug of black coffee and took a healthy sip before looking back at the table. They had only been at that clinic not three days ago and already it felt like an eternity. Had Rikku's feelings at all change about having tests done to see if she could have kids? Paine didn't think so, how could something like that just change? She took another large gulp of coffee this time and turned to retrieve her freshly toasted bagel once it popped out of the toaster with a ding. After shmeering currant jam and cream cheese on each half respectively Paine settled at the dining table and grabbed her cell phone. There was a good morning text from Rikku which she had responded to once she woke up. The absence of other calls or texts meant that Bridge Port wasn't on fire or anything so she could enjoy her breakfast in peace, well thought. She could enjoy her breakfast in thought. Peace was something she could almost feel being ripped away from her. More than anything she wanted to make Rikku happy, that's why she flipped open the Baaj Fertility Clinic folder as she ate and browsed the first couple pages. Gippal made a point in saying that she had to think ahead, but for Rikku and their future not Auron, at least not right now. She didn't know exactly how she would bring it up to her wife today but she knew that this might be just the thing to get them back on track and moving forward with their lives. Just then Paine's phone began to buzz signaling she had a text message.

_**Be ready for 11**_

It was from Lulu and with an outward groan Paine remembered that she was supposed to drive with Lulu to the hospital to sit in the parking lot while Lulu went to see their father.

The world hadn't stopped moving for them to adjust to the news of Auron's release.

It hadn't stopped nor did it care to slow down for them to breathe. Paine wondered when she had gotten so comfortable to not realize this until now.

##

It was a box, an old, binary, wooden box.

At the turn of the century the Mi'ihen government had created something called The Trinity Act, a basic legal document that stated that prisoners should be treated humane and given libations that would sustain three things. Physical health, Mental Health, and Religious Freedom. Until all this prisons were put in simple boxes with Sunday mass which blared at ridiculous volumes. The idea was for the prisoners to soak in the good message of Yevon as they went about their days. Thanks to The Trinity Act prisoners were given a pillow and blanket now, there were no more Sunday intercom lessons, and everyone was granted a luxury item. The item was bought from the outside by someone else, or from the general store near Cell Block Q. Usually something of high value, the lifer's had TVs, others old spheres of long movies or family memories.

Auron Guarrd's luxury item was a box.

It was with this box that he felt he was truly able to maintain his own trinity of sorts.

Barthello Pilgrim just thought it was fucking weird.

The two men hadn't said a word to one another since Bart moving in a week prior. This wasn't uncommon. They were both rather big guys, a fight was inevitable if not approached the right way. Bart liked to believe that he had some kind of sense; at least enough not to fuck with this guy everyone called The Professor. Everyone had their own story on him. Some warned that he had murdered a family; some said he was a schizophrenic, others a drug lord, whatever they had said, one thing was common. He had been a professor at New Luca University.

He hadn't struck much curiosity in Bart; he didn't seem crazy, just angry. If you were a rat in a cage you'd be angry too. Nothing at all seemed too off about the guy until he saw the box.

Brash in appearance it wasn't an inch bigger than a shoe box, but it had a fine wooden polish despite its age. There was a latch, and there was a key he had fashioned out of a melted toothbrush. The guards didn't like it being lockable, so n routine they'd confiscate the key, but thanks to The Trinity Act they could do nothing about the box itself. The Professor would simply just make another key and that would be that until the next random search.

He seldom left it out of his eye sight when he was in the room, and he always made sure that Bart was the first to leave and last to return to their cell. A week ago it just seemed to be coincidence, but Barthello Pilgrim had a naturally curious soul. It's what usually got him into trouble but he couldn't quite help the satisfaction he got from exploring the unknown. It usually happened with the things that people were afraid of. First it was the dark, then arson, then drugs, then murder. He hated the idea of being called a villain, he wasn't at all. He loved his sisters to death and would do anything for them, how in anyway was that sinister? At least he wasn't some old guy with silent rage and a fucking box.

At least he wasn't that.

Bart turned on the top bunk of the metal framed bunk bed and tried to swallow the excitement.

"The Professor" Had just been called unexpectedly to the psych ward for a preliminary checkup for his release.

He knew where the key was, he knew where the box was. And he'd be damned if he wasn't going to put an end to the mystery that was Auron Guarrd. With a chuckle Bart hopped from the top bunk. A glee akin to a childhood Christmas morning rose in his belly when he realized he'd be the only person to know before Auron checked out into the real world where he was probably only kicked out for something lame like tax evasion.

Bart slowed his steps to savor the short stride across the tiny room where the box sat in plain sight. He had snagged the key from under the top bunk mattress when he jumped down and was soon making quick work at the makeshift lock. Along with the rumors of his crime, there were thousands more about what was in the box. Some people said it was a dehydrated guado heart, others said it was his candy bar collection. Barthello Pilgrim was not expecting what was shortly staring back at him.

Two lonely photographs

That was it.

Not a heart, not a candy bar, nothing.

Deflated and uninterested Bart picked up the slim stack just to have a one up on the weirdo he shared a cell with. The first a naked woman young, blonde, asleep. Bart rubbed his chin. She was hot no doubt, but she looked a little young, yet her sleeping face showed no signs of protest, no signs of villainy adorned her. There was even a content sort of loving angle the shot was taken at. Whoever took the photo clearly admired her breasts as they were front and center, though not the biggest he had seen, they were nice enough to warrant a couple extra seconds. Bart sighed on the inside. Half the damn prison had a naked lady photo. This was turning out to be worthless. He quickly flipped the photo over to see if there was some sweet note the young woman had left him. Not a note just a name.

Milan

He rolled his eyes and moved to the next photo.

"What the fuck?" He muttered, his interest peeking tenfold. He quickly pulled the picture closer, his vision had never been all that amazing, but even after squinting it was as clear as day who this was. He quickly flipped the photograph over "What the fuck?" He repeated again, this time a little louder. There written on the shiny material of the printed image was a sort of tally system. Tiny little lines went on forever making the back of the photo resemble zebra fiend fur. He flipped the photo over again. Shit had officially gotten weird as he stared back at one of his childhood best friends barely smiling at the camera in a navy blue cap and gown. "Dr. P?"

**AN: So sorry for the long wait. I've just recently settled into a new place so things can finally go back to normal as far as updates are concerned. Love that you all are still out there reading and reviewing though! It means the world.**

**KathleenDee**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve **

"What was the rush?" She sat down in the plastic chair. "Are you alright?"

Bart waved his younger sister off. "I'm me, you think I'd call you if I wasn't?"

Dona Pilgrim, now the ripe age of 24 pursed her plump lips together and crossed her arms. When she had accepted the call the prison early that morning she wasn't expecting it at all to be her brother.

She knew a lot of people in prison.

It seemed all her friends from her teenage days were either there, layered up somewhere on heroine (it was usually the end all drug.) or off lending productive lives and pretending they never knew her when they crossed paths in the market.

"So then what Bart? I have work in two hours."

They never really got along, but there was always that bonding that happened when you were only three and a half years apart and the rest of your siblings were at least six. Bart leaned back a bit in his chair and examined the woman that became of his little sister. It annoyed him sometimes when they were younger that even then she was a little more mature than he was, now here she was, helping support the family while he sucked up assets in prison like a leach. It hurt his ego a little. But y'know, whatever.

"I need you to find something out for me."

Dona glared. "How much time are you actually thinking of spending in here?"

He rolled his eyes. "You don't think I fucking know how much time I'm spending here?"

She rolled her eyes right back. "What. Is. It?"

"Dr. P."

This seemed to get little to no response out of Dona. "What about her?"

"What's she up to?"

"Like we're best friends."

"Well you ain't seen her 'round?"

Dona sat up in her chair, the hard plastic had been slightly painful. "Since when have you become so concerned about Paine Kerrigan? Last I remember you were gonna pay her a visit when you got out…well before you were an idiot, I mean."

He let the jab pass, once again his curiously getting the best of him. "You seen her 'round or not D."

Dona shrugged her left shoulder once. "Few months back, with that little girl from on Crenshaw."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"What were they doin'?"

Dona squinted at her brother. "Buyin' shit."

"Buyin' what?"

"You wanna tell me what you want?"

"Buyin' what?"

She rolled her eyes again and sighed dramatically. "Groceries I think."

Satisfied with getting his way in the smallest way Bart puffed his chest out a little bit and leaned closer to his sister across the table from him. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed a guard zero in on their actions. "I found some shit on here in here."

Dona furrowed her perfectly shaped brows. "In here?" This was a high security men's prison in southern Mi'ihen. Paine Kerrigan had always left a lasting impression on people, her silence, her features, her upset, but all the way out here? She had to call Bart's bluff, but why out of nowhere would he bring her up if he were lying? Maybe he finally found out about Paine and her hooking up all those years ago. With a slight smirk Dona disregarded that notion, her brother could lead a drug unit in Brimley and Crenshaw, but he was so oblivious when it came to her and her exploits.

"Yeah, in here."

"Well?"

"I want you to get her here."

Dona recoiled sharply. "Are you mad?"

Bart chuckled. He didn't like Paine around his sister, he didn't know why but he had never liked it. Hell he really didn't like her. She was the main reason he was in this joint, and believe you me the residual anger he had for her and that little shit Gippal Trent was still present, but this situation was far too interesting. He was sentenced to be here another five years, he might as well entertain himself with the follies or fall outs of others.

He'd handle their betrayal latter.

"You're a waste of space." Dona nodded pointedly before getting up and gathering her bag. The guard who had been watching the exchange made his way toward them to return the hand cuffs to Bart's wrist when he too stood.

"Eh and what?" Bart disarmed. "Like you aint a whore?"

Dona shook her head. "Paine Kerrigan, Bart?"

He shrugged as the guard handcuffed him. "Fine, I'll just let this asshole fuck with her. It'll help me sleep." If he wouldn't find out from Paine through Dona, then he'd have to go right to the source.

##

….._The results have created a valued service for those with infertility in their family history. Universal studies in Bevelle, Djose, and Luca have shown that an overwhelming 93.7 percent of algorithms derived from this method led to successful reading of fertility capabilities. Getting started is easy…._

Paine blindly reached for the coffee thermos in the cup holder to her right. She glanced at it only to make sure her lips and the container opening were lined up appropriately.

…_.Baby Placebo Method (BPM) mimics the traditional artificial insemination process. Patients can complete the BPM in a fertility clinic or at home. This manual will further go into exact details of what takes place and how testing should be conducted. Please refer to page FFX for an organic break down of what occurs during the process and consult your physician if you have any allergies to the following…._

Paine stretched her long limbs out as much as she could in her two door and leaned back in her chair as she singled out the one stapled bunch with FFX in the top corner.

…_The artificial sperm is created by hormones, broken down amino acids, fiber for structure of the head, mid-piece, and tail, coloring agents, and electrolytes. The end result of the mixture creates an identical version to the real thing in sight, but a different occupation in function. A woman cannot get pregnant off of the artificial sperm, however because of the signaling from the hormones and the Adenosine triphosphate (which is stored in the artificial sperm nucleus) involved her body will respond as if being introduced by the male stimuli. Levels of the patients hormones are recorded exactly 7 hours after the event to gather data to create an algorithm that will lead to the percentage of potency in the female eggs. Sven hours are needed for the female body to…_

Paine cell phone began to ring. She rested the packet down on her lap on the open folder and reached on the empty passenger's seat beside her where her phone sat. "Kerrigan."

"Hey, it's me."

Paine smiled. "Hey Princess." They had been texting for the better part of the morning. Rikku went into work today and was supposed to be getting back to her on what time she wanted to head to the police station. Though the situation was totally more important, Paine still couldn't wait to see Rikku again, hold her hand, tell her she was sorry again if she had to. Sleeping alone blew.

"Do you think maybe we should say something about Pops today?"

"How he just left?"

Cid still hadn't returned.

"Yeah." Rikku wrapped her arms around her red coat and waited at the little kabob cart outside of her office building for the Al Bhed running it to make her something off the menu.

"Is Leblanc worried?"

"No. I guess not." The older woman seemed to fine. "Maybe he called her."

"And not you?"

"Well he's Pops remember?"

"He probably doesn't know what to say." Paine reached for her coffee again, it had cooled considerably since first arriving.

"I hate that I worry about him."

"He worries about you too."

"Yeah well, he's got a funny way of showing it…thank you." She smiled and took the little bowl of rice, beans, cactar, and apricot from the vendor with a smile. "Meja famm." She waved to the vendor that always made her new things after she ate threw the entire menu when she first started at Leonardi as an intern. "Hello?"

"Yeah, I'm here."

"Yeah, I just got some food." She waited for Paine to comment but was met with silence. "What are you doing?"

"Waiting in the parking lot still." Paine was looking at a cost analyst sheet now and trying to work the numbers in her head. Out of all the things going wrong right now she didn't want money to be an issue for them. This test was two grand though, and she really didn't think she could spare it.

"How long have you been there?"

Paine glanced at the time. "About thirty minutes."

##

"Really?" Paul asked with surprise. He was sitting up clad in a worn grey undershirt and long dark green sweats. "Al Bhed?" A small picture of his grandson grinning up at the camera in his hands. "Well I'm not surprised. You picked up things faster than any other child at school. For a while your mother wanted to home school you."

Lulu rolled her eyes. Thank Yevon that didn't happen. Though their issues were strong, Lulu always felt just a tad more comfortable with her father. Before finding out Paine was her half-sister she'd often go to him for advice, he had been actually the first parent she actually willing told she was pregnant to. Of course she did eventually find out the truth of her father's infidelity, and she would admit it charred her image of him a lot, but she reasoned that it was only because she held him so high up. It all made sitting here well enough, but knowing Paine was sitting in the parking lot said a lot more about her sisters real feelings. She'd been through a lot, more than Lulu would ever understand, but she was here to support her, it meant something, it had to.

Paul frowned when he noticed a far off look on his daughter's face. She had been slipping in and out of the conversation for the past half hour now. He was delighted to see her face, to have her be here, but he knew better. With a fatherly sort of sigh he rested the new picture of Vidina down on his lap. "Is it your mother?"

Lulu perked up out of her thoughts. "Pardon me?"

"You're not all here." He motioned to the room.

"Yes, but you are. What have the doctors said?" She asked changing the subject.

"They are optimistic."

"What does that mean exactly?"

"I'm actually not sure." He chanced a little smile but then stopped. "I'm fine Lulu."

Lulu shook her head at him. "You're always fine."

He didn't know if that was a compliment or not. Her tone suggested she was annoyed at the line, probably from hearing it over and over again as a child and just not believing. He decided to try a different approach. "How is Wakka? I've been watching this Blitz pre-season talk shows on the sphere. It only has two channels anyway."

She smiled at him for asking. He really had been trying the last couple of years, and she appreciated that he didn't just assume that she created a baby on her own like her mother sometimes eluded to. "He's doing well."

"Season starts soon."

Lulu nodded. It had always been rough when Wakka was away at matches. "Vidina seems to think he's going with him this year." He little boy had told her just yesterday to "Not wait up for him." Kids.

Paul chuckled but his smile was not quite the same. "He must miss him."

Lulu nodded. "We both do." The room fell quiet and she glanced out the window again. "I should go." She looked back at her father, he looked good, and hopefully "fine" really meant his health was fine. "We got the order, did I tell you?"

Paul moved to at least stand for her to leave. "You did, I'm very proud. You know that right?" Lulu went in for a hug.

"I do."

He kissed the top of her head and let go. "Good."

She left the hospital feeling a little like she had just cheated at something. Knowing Paine was in the car waiting for her the whole time while her father seemed so eager for company. Lulu honestly felt bad for not coming sooner but she knew he hadn't held it against her, she saw it in his eyes.

Paine's car smelt strong of coffee, it made the older sibling wrinkle her nose a little. It was cold out so she understood why she had kept the windows up but still.

"Well?" Paine asked as she closed up the folder she had been reading and put it in her backseat careful to secure its place so it wouldn't fall when she accelerated. They both pulled at their seatbelts.

"He seems well."

Paine nodded and adjusted her seat up a little and reached for her keys to turn the ignitions. "Alright then." She started the car and began to pull out of the parking lot like this was just another errand.

"You came for a reason. I want to know it." Lulu cut straight to the point.

Paine shrugged. "Isn't me saying I would enough?"

"Not for me."

She rolled her eyes. "Who are you?"

"Well I'm the older one."

"What?"

"I'm older, meaning that I am naturally more correct, more rooted, than you."

Paine gave her a strange look over her shoulder. "Have you been reading those books again?"

"What were you reading?"

Paine hated talking to Lulu sometimes. It was much better when they were just quiet together because her tactic for getting information out of her was better than Rikku's most adorable pouty face. She needed to be on guard. "Nothing."

"You seemed rather focused. Were you working?"

"No."

"Couldn't you have done that somewhere more comfortable…Somewhere that didn't smell of stale coffee and" She glanced into Paine's backseat. "Gym things."

"You know you have a car, we could have taken yours." Her car didn't smell like the gym, did it?

"My point Paine, is that you didn't need to be here, but you were. Why?"

"Because I like sitting in parking lots in the dead of winter with no heat on to pass the time. I fucking love it actually." She jeered.

"Oh is that so?"

Paine nodded quickly with a closed mouth grin. "Mhm, good stuff."

Lulu chuckled. "I truly feel sorry for Rikku. Tell me, does she have to deal with you like this when she's curious about your wellbeing? Which is what? Approximately all the time?" Lulu jabbed back but let her smirk of amusement fall when Paine gave her a look but didn't say anything. The eldest of Paul Moore's children sighed. Their usual sibling tit for tat was over by her clearly tripping over something heavier. "Paine."

"Whatever."

"Clearly—"

"No clearly, you got what you wanted out of the trip okay? Just forget I even brought you."

Lulu waited a minute before saying something she knew she probably shouldn't have. "I don't understand why you're being so sensitive." She observed calmly.

"Sensitive?" Paine looked at her incredulously as the car stopped at a red light. "Sensitive?"

"Yes, sensitive."

Paine nodded to herself as if thinking about the word. She looked over at Lulu. "I'm completely broke, I promised my wife the honeymoon of her dreams and she got it, only to come back to find out that none of that mattered because her grandmother died. She pulls away , she comes back. I don't mind it. I love her, but it seems she too thinks I'm at least somewhat incapable of handling adult life because she doesn't tell me at all that she might be sterile. I find out from a voicemail. I have four years to not be completely broke or emotionally incomplete because that's when we negotiated we'd start trying for babies, if she can have them at all. The test to figure that out is two thousand dollars, that's what I was reading, but I mean if you're keeping up you'd know two things, that I'm completely broke, and that I love her. She's gonna get that test, I don't know how but she is because if she doesn't I'm fairly certain the fact that Auron getting out of prison in two weeks is enough to make us both crazy. I'm also fairly certain that if I see him I'll kill him, and so I'm really trying hard not to just say fuck it all and pop a few pills to just coast by, because yeah, I woke up this morning, and guess what, I'm still a drug addict. So I'm really sorry If I seem just a little sensitive right now okay? Fuck." Paine looked back to the road right as it turned green and took her foot off the break. For about ten minutes of the drive Lulu sat absorbing that all. Paine hadn't seemed upset about her situation, just worried, her voice had been calm. It was shocking, and for a moment Lulu really didn't know where she fit in all of this. Where she would be useful, because she wanted to help. It appeared she did care about Paine, over the years their relationship had really flourished, but never had she really opened up to her like this until now.

"Well you know you could have said something to me…" Paine looked over at her when she spoke, they were close to the D'Autry residence. "I _am_ older."

Paine shook her head in disbelief, a chuckle in her throat. "This sibling thing isn't working for me."

##

The mini rant to Lulu had helped lift a little weight off her shoulders. Lulu had invited her to stay for something to drink besides coffee but Paine had to go with Rikku to the police station to file the new restraining order. So Lulu basically confirmed for them that the duo would be coming over tomorrow for food. Paine couldn't say no, which was surprising, because she usually took great pleasure in saying no to Lulu.

She had an ally.

It felt strange.

Paine also realized that she needed to find something to calm her restless mood, because after verbalizing how she felt about Auron and her current life situation she knew that she would need something healthy to calm herself down and put everything into focus before things really got fucked.

"Needles though?"

Rikku seemed a little concerned at one of Paine's ideas in particular.

They had met back at their apartment to get ready to go to the police station together as well as eat a little something. Rikku had taken the rest of the day off since her real boss was way across Spira and he basically left Lucil in charge (something she didn't let her forget as she basically kicked he rout of her office) Paine had just got done telling Rikku how Lulu knew about Auron, obviously leaving out a few details here and there. Her wife was leaning against a counter and trying to understand why anyone in their right mind would purposefully get a bunch of tiny needles stuck into their skin to relax. She eating a chocolate and vanilla swirl pudding cup too.

"One of my trainers Zen gets it done at least once a week." Paine reasoned as she finished making her second fried bologna sandwich with toast and ketchup.

Rikku shook her head. "Do you know how much I cried to get shots as a kid?"

Paine finished chewing her first bite. "You still cry." The flu shot incident last year was just embarrassing.

Rikku nodded. Her clover colored eyes wide. "Uh yeah, cause it hurts."

"These needles are tiny, less surface area, less pain."

Rikku sighed. "Why don't you just got to the spa?"

"Too expensive." She shook her head. "I'm not really relaxed there ether."

"What's wrong with the gym?"

Paine waved it off. "I'll figure something out."

"Is it that bad?" Rikku asked gently. It had started up again, the not sleeping well, the appetite lifts and drops, she had noticed, but this time Paine had actually said something to her. Which was nice, but at the same time alarming. Paine could cut off a finger and insist on wrapping it up herself because she was just that "tough".

Paine shook her head no as she chewed the swallowed. "I just feel like the closer and closer it gets, the worse I'll feel so I wanted to kind of start something now…." Paine could see that with every passing second Rikku worried more. "Babe." She snapped her out of her spiral. "I was just trying to remember what Martha said, she told me about meditating and all this other stuff that could help along with what I do now."

Rikku put her empty pudding cup in the sink to rinse for recycling. "I know it's just….you usually never say if something bothering you like this so I thought that maybe—"

Paine nodded feeling a little guilty about closing off to Rikku in the past. "I know, so this is just me talking to you okay? I'm just trying."

Rikku smiled a little . This was new. "Okay."

Paine nodded. "Okay." She picked up her sandwich and continued eating. Paine raised her brows when Rikku pecked her on the lips while she chewed. "Wha?" She managed with a mouth full of food.

"I love you." Was all she said before washing out her pudding cup and going to get ready. Paine watched her leave before looking back at her sandwich with a grin in place. It almost felt like she could do anything when Rikku told her that.

_She totally just kissed me_

It's what she thought and felt the first time Rikku ever stole a kiss from her, and though it seemed a little much considering they had been together for years now, it's what she thought and felt now.

##

_**Rikks took the rest of the day off. Think I'm just gonna spend it with her. Let's meet this weekend. **_

Baralai nodded to himself when he read the text Paine sent to him and Gippal. He shot her a reply letting her know if she needed anything he was there for them both and then turned back to the person sitting across from him. "Sorry man, text from Paine."

"It's cool." Tidus Meadows waved it off in a friendly manner. "Look, I didn't just come here to open a new checking account."

Baralai nodded wondering when he'd give up the act already. "I'm a senior banker, we don't open checking accounts." He sat back in his chair. "And you're a professional Blitzer, they give you guys agents don't they?"

Tidus scratched the back of his head. Had he known the whole time that his intensions weren't so pure? It made him feel a bit guilty. "I guess then that was for nothing….but um, do I still get the piggy bank?"

Lai gave him an odd look but then shrugged. "What color?"

Tidus sat up in his seat when Baralai went to open a drawer in his desk. "You guys got Goer colors?"

##

Rikku squeezed Paine's hand and picked up where she had lost words. "I.." She glanced at Paine. "We don't feel safe about his release considering these circumstances."

Office Mooney, a stern faced man with warm eyes and a five o' clock shadow nodded as he took notes. "And you know for a fact he is being released from where now?"

"Mi'ihen Corrections."

Mooney nodded and then made a few more notes. "Would you like two restraining orders?" He had been agreeable, patient, and otherwise seemed like a good guy. Not at all like the asshole they got when this first started and she and Rikku went to the police. He never said the word rape, probably afraid of saying it himself. He regarded them both as "ma'am." And had a neat desk. Paine supposed the main difference between now and then was the fact that they were real adults, with jobs and responsibilities, also they weren't trying to "ruin" a respected name. Paine was amazed Auron still had had friends in the system after word spread. That he could just buy his way out of prison made her wonder what else he could buy.

"Pai?" Rikku nudged their joint hands against her thigh to get Paine attention.

Paine blinked and looked to her expectantly. "Yeah?" Apparently Mooney had left the office cube.

"Where'd you go?" She asked with a little smile.

Paine smiled back reassuringly. When Rikku smiled at her like that her response was automatic. "Nowhere."

"Well do you need my hand in nowhere? I have to fill out these papers."

Paine looked down and realized she was holding Rikku's dominant left hand still. She quickly let go. "Sorry." Rikku said it was okay as she switched the pen officer Mooney gave her in her right hand to her left. "Do I need to fill one out too?" Paine asked sitting up a little and looking to what Rikku was doing.

"No this is just our home information."

"Oh." Paine ran a hand through her hair and looked about the small office as Rikku scribbled in their address and home phone number. Once Rikku was done Paine regarded her. "You good?"

"Honest answer?" Paine nodded. "I don't think this will do much…but this is what you do right? This whole system."

She had been thinking the same thing. A piece of paper really couldn't stop a fly, but she had refrained from saying that just in case Rikku held hope in this, "Legally doesn't it?"

She nodded. "Well yes, but only if something happens…."

"Baby…"

Rikku pulled herself together a moment and then offered Paine a weak smile. "You're not worried?"

Paine nodded. She was, they both knew they both were. "We just gotta take this one day at a time. If we don't then everything is gonna seem too hard to handle." Rikku picked up her hand and held again as if drawing power from it a moment. She squeezed it and let it go. "I think we should sit down with Uncle B."

Paine would do whatever made Rikku feel safe. "Alright."

The blonde exhaled and looked about the small office then back at Paine. "I'm just so flippin' angry. Pypo."

It wasn't fair. All Rikku wanted, all she wanted ever was to live a boring life with Paine. That was it. She had found the person that made her world like this kaleidoscope of colors, and things just always seemed to fall apart somehow. There was a lesson here, there was always a lesson, but she'd be damned if she'd find it sitting here filling out meaningless paper work. The Pre Law in her knew it was the right step, but new Rikku, 25 year old Rikku wished he would find her, she about dared him to that morning in the mirror.

"Like I wanna beat someone up or like…litter."

Paine couldn't help but laugh even though she knew Rikku was being serious. "Take it easy there."

"I understand why you feel like you're getting more restless. Me too."

"Well we should do something together then."

"No needles."

"Sissy." They shared a small laugh but it was then that Paine had the best idea. It would be super cheap since it was so cold, and she and Rikku hadn't done this in a long time, years even. The afternoon was theirs, and even though she still planned to talk about what she had read today while waiting on Lulu, it was clear they both needed to let off some steam.

##

"Eeek!"

"For fucks sake!"

"You know what I'm tired of you yelling at me like I'm one of your trainers!"

Paine chuckled at the cute little pissed off look on her wife's features. Or at least the features she could make out behind the umpire face guard she insisted on wearing. "That was an underhand Rikku!"

Rikku watched her breath escape her surely blue lips. She couldn't feel her fingers and her toes, and she actually was pretty sure Paine was releasing more stress throwing things at her than she was ethically allotted to someone you just married.

But she hadn't laughed so hard in weeks, and Paine looked super cute in her backwards baseball cap and rosy cheeks.

She felt like Rikku and Paine again.

"Well throw the next one under under!" She called the small distance to the snowy pitcher mound where Paine was standing looking annoyed but really loving every moment of it.

"How 'bout I just roll it over to you!?"

"That would be nice!"

Paine chuckled and reached for the basket of baseballs to her left. "Alright, so what is it? Team Bayla zero, Team Kerrigan 87?" She laughed as she tossed the ball up in the air a few times.

"How come I'm not on your team?!"

"Caue I don't share, not even my team!"

Rikku bent her knees in a batters stance. "You shared your last name with me!" She reminded.

Paine shrugged. "Well that's only because you're cute!"

She laughed to herself. "Just throw it!"

Paine got into pitchers stance and nodded once at Rikku before throwing an "under under" hand ball. She noticed though as she let it go there was a bit of a spin to it that she didn't intend, and like always Rikku just closed her eyes and blindly swung at the thing completely missing. The ball however had been "under under" enough to go crashing right into Rikku's face.

"Ahh!" She cried out and double over. Yanking off the umpire mask and holding her face.

"Ri!" Paine took off from the snowy hill and was by her side in seconds. "Hey just let me see how bad…Rikku move your hands." Paine felt guilt well in her as she heard Rikku whimper. "Baby I am so sorry. It just kinda twisted when I let go and…Let me just see….." Paine narrowed her eyes at the covered face when she heard the whimper turn into a giggle. She pulled one of Rikku's gloved hands away and saw the mirth in her green eyes. "I should have hit you for real you little—"

Rikku pulled her other hand away grinning. "Hey that's no way to talk to your wife!"

"I thought I hit you!"

"You did!" She smirked and pointed to the mask in the snow. "If I wasn't wearing that you'd have taken out an eye!"

"Oh you're so fucking dramatic, that ball was going slower than you trying to find a parking space."

Rikku laughed. "You should have just let me be on your team."

Paine looked around at the empty mini baseball diamond. "There are only two of us!"

"Stop yelling at me!"

Paine growled but nodded when she realized what she had to do. "You're right. You're right." She turned to pick up Rikku's face mask while the blonde reeled with laughter behind her.

"That's what you get for boot camping me, this was supposed to be fun but you always make it a competition Pypo."

Paine grabbed a ball of snow as she picked up the mask without Rikku realizing it. She turned and extended the mask to Rikku, who was still laughing.

"Admit it."

Paine nodded reasonably as her left hand secretly worked the snow into a ball the best she could with one hand. "Alright you got me…maybe Bayla's and Kerrigan's can work together….maybe." She pointed for good measure.

Rikku was catching her breath now, but smiling at Paine with this look that the judo black belt almost considered not doing what she was about to do…almost. "And now you have to carry me back to the pro shop cause." She sighed heavily. "I'm pooped."

Paine stepped closer to her "here, hop on." She switched the snowball around to her front as she gave Rikku her back.

Rikku smiled and was about to hop on her wife's back when she noticed something. "Wait…"

"What?"

"What's that?"

"What?"

"That!" Rikku pointed when she got a better look at the sphere of snow. "Paine Amelia Kerrigan…." She began to back up as Paine began to stalk toward her. "I swear if you throw that at me!"

"What are you talking about?" Paine grinned now knowing she was caught, but backing Rikku into the fence without her realizing it was worth a little pretending. Just a few more steps.

"If you throw that at me I'm never cooking Al Bhed food for you ever….ever Paine."

Paine shrugged. "Okay."

Rikku felt her back hit the chain link fence of the mini baseball diamond. "No sex."

Paine paused. "In general or like—"

Rikku gave her an amused look. "Yes in general!"

"Damn" Paine appeared to stop in her tracks and really consider what getting her wife back for scaring her half to death would really cost. She took a quiet unnoticed step forward. "Like not even on my birthday or like…Valentine's Day?"

Rikku laughed a little at the contemplation this caused. "Yup,"

"But won't you get lonely?" She stepped a little closer when Rikku looked off to think about it.

She quickly looked back at Paine when she noticed she was a little closer. "So see you won't only be hurting yourself, you'd be hurting you wife." The blonde reasoned.

Paine got an earnest look about her, she was right in front of Rikku. "Rikks you know I'd never hurt you right?"

Rikku tilted her head slightly. Weren't they just joking? What was this look about? "Pypo I was just messing with you—ooooh" She shuddered loudly and made the cutest little squeal when Paine yanked the collar of her jacket forward and dumped the snowball down her shirt. Wide shock laden green eyes looked to the heavens for a moment as she was pretty sure her nipples just got frost bitten. Her vision slowly returned to the smug grin on her wife's face.

"I mean…except for now." Paine continued to smirk as Rikku shivered.

"Run." She whispered.

Paine nodded and began to back away quickly. The blonde was right on her heels.

##

Rikku closed her eyes as the hot steam opened her pours and fought the chill that had crawled under skin from being out in the snow for hours.

She reached a blind hand above her and adjusted the shower head. Paine was at the very least four inches taller than her so this was second nature to her since Paine usually woke before her. The scent of the lavender candle she lit before entering the shower had finally made acquaintance with the steam in the air.

Rikku felt herself completely unwind. So much so that she considered just calling it quits and making a bubble bath for herself. The tub at the house she had just become on owner of had a nice tub, Paine would fit comfortably. It'd be like they were back in The Calm Lands.

She opened her eyes when she remembered the house. She would need to start making trips over there with Yuna and Lulu soon. The keys were in route to be mailed to her office and there was a lot of work to be done before Valentine's Day.

Valentine's Day

It was when she wanted to be done with the general remodeling, it was where she planned to set up a romantic dinner in the empty house, on the hard wood floors in front of the fireplace. It was when she had planned to tape a key in Paine's gym locker with a note, surprising her.

It was also about two weeks away.

She sometimes just couldn't believe her luck.

Water developed in the corner of her eyes. She wiped it away and shook her head. Did he plan this? She wouldn't put it past him, he was always so calculated. He had been around the family long enough to know the season where she would be most vulnerable, emotional. This only led her to believe that he must have known she and Paine were together or that she was at least with someone, someone who wasn't him, and again the frustration she felt earlier in Officer Mooney's cubical returned.

Just then the bathroom door opened and Paine rushed in. "Alright it's lit, fuck I'm still cold."

Rikku poked her head from behind the shower curtain and watched as Paine kicked out of her pants. "You put the cage thingy up so you don't burn down our apartment?" She didn't want Paine to know she had been crying silently in here. Yevon it felt like every other minute they were trying to console one another. Today had been a lot of fun. She just wanted to enjoy that.

Paine pulled her shirt off next, then her bra, then panties. She kicked them into a small pile on the floor and neared the shower. "Yeah." She nodded. Rikku moved aside so she could join her in the warmth. They had just gotten home to their ice box of an apartment when Rikku said she'd start warm water if Paine lit the fireplace.

They took a small moment to notice the other person was naked and then immediately started bickering about where the shower head should be aimed so they both could get warm water.

"Frah yna oui zicd kuehk du yllabd dryd E's crund?"

"Rikku my neck isn't even wet." Paine reached for the shower head.

"This is why I don't shower with you."

Paine rolled her eyes. "Fine." She adjusted the shower head to her own height a moment "Let me just wash the gel out of my hair? Is that okay Princess?"

Rikku laughed. "Hurry up!"

Paine chuckled to herself as she turned to face Rikku with her back to the shower spray. She brought her hands to her hair and began to work the product out. Her smoky colored hair was now black and flat on her head. They made eyes contact, and held in there a moment before Rikku's eyes wondered a little lower to her wife's body again. "My face is up here." Paine murmured.

Rikku blushed a little and shrugged as she looked up at Paine's features. Her wife was really a beauty, you could see that even clearer with her hair slicked back like it was now. "Look how long your hair is, Pypo." It always surprised her when she saw it wet it reached where her neck expanded into upper back. .

"I need a haircut." Paine mused as she worked out the last bit of gel.

"You always say that." Rikku reached for her extra foamy body wash. "I think you should cut it when it gets warm."

Paine nodded knowing she was probably right. She motioned to her shampoo behind Rikku. "Can you pass me that?" Rikku handed it to her. "Thanks."

"Mhm."

"When are you getting a haircut?" Rikku's hair when down and out was just about to the small of her back.

She thought about it. "Soon I guess. I have to call Lulu."

"You gonna cut it short again?" She liked to take off a little more than usual when spring and summer time came around. Paine never minded, her wife was hot regardless, but talking like this, like all they had to worry about was haircuts and who'd get the water next was nice.

Rikku placed a soap sud on her wife's nose before shrugging. Paine finished washing out the little bit of shampoo before wiping the sud off her nose and turning to adjust the shower head for Rikku. She felt Rikku's hand on her lower back and looked at her over her shoulder. "What?"

She had bought Paine scar removal cream years ago, but she never remembered to use it. So it remained. "Every time I see it I get sad a little…but then happy." She sent her wife a goofy little grin. "We're as old as this scar y'know. It's kinda funny to think about."

"Funny?"

Rikku rubbed the area gently. "You know what I mean."

Paine moved out of the way to let Rikku wash her skin. "Yeah." She wrapped an arm around Rikku's naked midsection and placed the smallest kiss against her collar bone over her right shoulder. "I do." Rikku relaxed backward shivering slightly at the feel of Paine's nipples flesh against her back. Paine wrapped her other arm around her keeping her close. They stood there like that for a moment, no words, just comfort and warm water. Rikku thoughts traveled back to where they were prior to Paine entering the bathroom. Her wife, who seemed perfectly content resting her chin on her shoulder seemed to being thinking too because her soft voice in Rikku's ear had pulled the blonde out of her thoughts. It sounded laced with emotions the mind could only conceive alone in thought, without distraction.

"I won't let him break us." She placed a kiss on Rikku's cheek and hugged her closer. "I won't."


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen **

Paine blamed Rikku really.

Her eyes in the fire's amber flickering, her mischievous little smile as her hand rested on her upper thigh. She had totally initiated the cause for yet another shower, this time a cold one. They didn't go further than firm petting though, and for now Paine was okay with that.

The kiss ended with a series of little ones causing the duo to smile at one another. It was a nice little moment, a breath of fresh air in all this chaos.

"I should light this thing more often." Paine husked.

Rikku laughed, her cheeks a defined pink and her body resembling the composition of a jelly, a warm, slightly liquefied jelly. "Shh, you'll ruin the mood with your dorkiness." Paine was so sexy sometimes, and others she was such a cheese ball.

Paine smiled and stayed quiet as she moved to lean her back against their loveseat again. Rikku straddled her lap innocently and let her weight fall against her. Paine coughed once not expecting the impact, but settled as she began rubbing Rikku's back over her faded pink sleeping shirt. The blonde smiled into Paine's collar bone.

"Rubs." She whispered excitedly.

Paine chuckled but then fell silent when something crossed her mind. It made her feel like the glass Rikku had just filled up with warm apple cider had been knocked over, spilling everywhere like blood.

She wished she could get Rikku pregnant.

As fast as the thought crossed her mind Paine tried to get rid of it. Thinking like that was dangerous. She didn't wish she were a man…she just wished she didn't have to pay two thousand dollars to maybe see if she had a chance of paying four thousand dollars later on, to then again maybe get pregnant. Gippal could get a rock pregnant, it was that easy for men. Paine hated the feeling that she wasn't able to do something Rikku wanted. Even if they weren't ready for babies, it still bothered her.

She couldn't even pay for the damn test!

Paine exhaled heavily and watched the fire before them.

She had no idea something like this would make her feel so much like a fuck up. Realistically she knew she was being ridiculous. She was a damn physical therapy major for Yevon's sake. She knew exactly what her body could do and couldn't do. She made love to her wife, very well she might add, better than any guy could for sure, and yet here she was, still falling short. Still failing.

"Don't stop." Rikku murmured.

Apparently she had stopped rubbing her back when she realized this.

Paine returned her hand and made meaningless shapes as she continued to think.

Then there was the money thing. Paine swore if the only thing that would help things were her love for Rikku they'd be so well off they wouldn't know what to do with themselves. That wasn't reality though. She hated the cliché that love didn't pay the bills, but it just didn't…

When she made a square for the fifth time in a row Rikku knew something was wrong. To her surprise though Paine spoke before her.

"I think I should get a second job."

Rikku lifted her head and looked up at her. "Where is this coming from? You shouldn't be thinking about money right now, just how amazing I am."

Paine chuckled and cleared her throat a little when she looked down at her wife. "That's a running thought actually." Rikku smiled. "But…I mean." How could she spin this? "Not permanently, just for a little while. It would help pay off the wedding and maybe get us a bigger place. We've been here too long."

"I like it here." And I just bought you a house.

Paine nodded. "Yeah I know but what about room for you to paint and stuff?"

Rikku sighed. "I don't think right now that's what's important Paine."

She knew she was right, but the more Paine thought about it the more she wanted it to happen. "We can save up some more for things."

"What do we need right now? Tell me?"

Paine shrugged. "I don't knowd alright?"

She finally sat up to look at her wife. Paine seemed tense now all of a sudden. Rikku reached a hand out and touched the side of her face gently. "Cusadesac E drehg oui'na cdemm dnoehk du feh sa un cusadrehk." She cupped her cheek and locked eyes with her. "What's wrong Pypo? Damm sa?"

Paine sighed. "I just feel like I can be doing more for us."

"You're doing more than I can even ask Paine."

"I just feel like there is more."

"Like?"

"Providing for you."

"We provide for one another." She shook her head gently in disbelief. "Do you think you're just hosting me?"

"No baby."

"So then where do these ideas come from?"

"I don't know okay? It's just how I feel."

"If you got a second job when would I see you?"

"It wouldn't be for long."

"Paine."

"Like two weeks. I can work with Gip at Lap, under the table." She sat up a little more. "And that'd be enough."

Rikku couldn't even believe what she was hearing. "So you'd come back in time to pretend to protect me? Listen to yourself." Paine looked away. "What do you need a whole mess of money for Pypo?" She paused. "Medication?"

She looked up at her then. "No."

All that could be heard for the moment was the crackling of the fire. "I can't believe this." Rikku started to get up but Paine reached out for her.

"Princess wait."

"I really wonder what you think sometimes Paine. Suhao ec suna esbundyhd dryh res lusehk pylg vun oui?"

Paine moved her hands from keeping Rikku when she realized the blonde was going to stay put. "No. That's not what I said." She shook her head. "I'm just trying to find ways for us to be okay till then, that's it." She nodded when Rikku gave her a look. "Honest."

Ways for them to be okay? "You're not making any sense."

Paine sighed heavily. "Early this week you looked at me and told me that you needed to know if you could have babies, you said you couldn't stand waiting. You were crying…" Why didn't Rikku understand that when she even showed signs of tears Paine went into action mode, she had to do something, she'd never let her just cry.

"Pai."

Paine motioned to herself. "I don't want you to wait. I don't want you to walk around feeling like it's just another thing to add to the list of things that fall through the cracks." She paused for effect, when really it was just to collect her thoughts. "This piece of shit just randomly shows up in our lives again and you have to now take everything that was important before and wait? No Rikku, not my wife.. No."

Rikku cupped her cheeks in her palms. "I don't know if I should slap you to come back to me or kiss you." She shook her head.

Paine calmed down. She always did when Rikku touched her. "The test costs two thousand dollars… I just…" She shrugged. "I wanted you to know, _I_ wanted to know." It had been one long week for them, at times it seemed never ending. Maybe it was just catching up to her. "It's important babe, it's important."

Rikku caressed Paine's face before moving her hands to her shoulders. "Okay." She said quietly. "But no one is getting a second job, and I don't know how many years of being with me it's going to take for you to realize that you don't need to do everything but you had better start realizing it Pypo or I promise we will have issues."

Paine nodded. Rikku was being dead serious. "Yes ma'am."

"Shiva."

Paine remained quiet for a moment as Rikku seemed to collect everything that had just been thrown at her. "I wanted to talk to you tonight about it but I didn't know how…"

Rikku nodded. She understood what Paine was trying to do, but Yevon couldn't she just walk up to the door and ring the bell instead of climbing the back wall and trying to break in?

"Do you still need to know?" Paine asked gently her hand at her waist.

Rikku nodded. "I know I do Paine, but I feel a little selfish now. I never meant for you to stress out like this over it…" She trailed off in her thoughts and then suddenly moved to stand up.

"Where are you going?"

Rikku extended her hand to help Paine up. "I'm making tea. Clear the table."

Paine got up a little more than curious as to what she needed to clear the table for, but she kept quiet and watched as Rikku filled the tea kettle on the stove. The blonde turned to Paine and motioned for her to join her in the kitchen. She grabbed Paine's arms and looked straight up at her. "Now I know they didn't teach you this in college, but that's okay, again this is why you have me." She smiled, "I love you." It was warm, and meant to fill that glass that somehow fell over in Paine's mind. Paine looked like she was going to reply but Rikku cut her off. "I know you love me too, why else would you worry like you do? Paine said nothing, it was clear Rikku was talking now and it was important to just listen. "We're going to sit down at the table and budget the next month out so we can make this happen, because you're right, I do want to know, and I realize how important getting back on track is for us in the next couple weeks. Then, we're going to talk about Auron so we are on the same page with how we want to handle that too, but then Paine? Then I just want to curl up with my wife and watch the late late show, no more talking, because by that point we'd have said everything we needed to say. That is the plan, that is what we're going to do. Okay?"

Paine exhaled and nodded at the same time. "I'm down."

"Good." She smiled and let go of Paine's arms before turning back to the stove where the kettle was. She watched the kettle for a moment but then caught herself. She smiled. "Y fydlrat bud hajan puemc." Rikku turned to Paine. "Knyhtsy used to say that all the time." They had to show patience.

"She'd be proud of how you just handled me." Paine joked as she went to get the folder from the fertility clinic from her messenger bag.

"Well you know sometimes you just need to be told what to do,"

Paine chuckled to herself as she entered their bedroom. "It's true."

##

Rikku punched the keys of the calculator and furrowed her brows cutely at the response she got. "5.62"

Paine rubbed the back of her neck and looked at the paper in front of her. They were four cups of tea in and though it felt really good to have Rikku here with her doing this, it still frustrated Paine. She tried to remained calm though. "Alright what if I don't do Judo this month?" Her membership fee was staring at her and laughing.

Rikku just shook her head still crunching numbers. "Well Big Mack can't go alone."

"No I mean both of ours." Paine paid for Mackenzie's junior membership in the dojo. It was really nothing, just twenty dollars. Joyce had been pouring all her extra money into Mackenzie's schooling now, things were tight for everyone it seemed. Paine still wanted her to do something good with her free time, and Judo had pretty much saved her life as a teenager.

Rikku looked up from the calculator. "No Pypo, you two never see each other these days. It wouldn't make a difference anyway….What if I take the train to work…that would cut this right here in half."

Paine considered it. "What if you work late?" She didn't like the idea of Rikku taking the train late. She herself had seen some shit, and been subject to shit she wouldn't want Rikku to deal with.

"Well then in that instance come and get me, but otherwise I should be leaving around the same time every day."

Paine nodded. "I can easily take the train or the B32 into work." She crossed off "Gas" from her list of monthly expenses then reached for her tea.

"Okay so if we both do that." Rikku jabbed a few more buttons on the calculator she'd had since college, it was pink. "Now we have four hundred more dollars to go."

Paine rested her cup down. "Well what if we just bought firewood, Gip's got a guy, then we don't have to pay extra for heating."

"We can shower together too." Rikku nodded looking down at the numbers before her.

Paine nodded quickly. "Yeah."

Rikku laughed and mocked her all too eager tone "Yeah."

Paine chuckled but then thought about the four hundred extra bucks they still needed. "I can get the four hundred."

Rikku finally looked up at her. "I thought we agreed no more selling your body for money?"

Paine shook her head with a little smile. "Gip owes me way more than four hundred dollars throughout the years."

Rikku didn't like the idea. "But…we're budgeting."

"Yeah, and if we budget anymore we won't have laundry money."

Rikku knew she had a point. They had really stressed her poor little calculator out tonight, and this was only one third of the things they needed talk about. "Okay so…" She wrote down Gippal's name next to the outstanding amount. "Um.. you read the folder?"

Paine nodded. "Yeah. You want me to go ove—"

"No I looked It up online."

Paine paused. "When?"

"The next day during a break I had at work. At first I thought it was kinda weird, but then I guess once I saw the testimonials and other doctors notes it seems legit."

Paine was a little surprised that Rikku had already read up on it, but she supposed it would be going into her body, of course she'd would research it herself. "Alright." Rikku was probably the bravest woman she knew. This wasn't going to define them, but it was going to impact their relationship enough to proceed slowly, and it was clear that Rikku was being cautious. They had only had the folder for a few days now.

Paine singled out the page with the procedure. "So I guess we can go into the clinic or." She straightened the paper out methodically as she spoke. Rikku raised a brow at a very rare nervous tick of Paine's surfacing. She did it with their marriage license before signing it too. "Or we can do it here…I mean the clinic has doctors and shit, machines and good lighting." She ran a hand through her hair next. "They'd probably know what to do better than people who do it at their own place I mean it's not like the real thing or anything." Rikku began to smile. "We don't need fucking candles…"

She was nervous about artificially artificially inseminating her.

"I want you to do it."

"Are you sure?" Paine pointed to a certain part of the procedure that had stumped her earlier. "I mean I bet you need really good lighting for this part."

Rikku chuckled. "I'm sure."

Paine sat with it for a moment. "Okay, yeah, that's cool." She gathered up the papers. "We could do that." She gave Rikku the packet before pausing. "Are you sure?"

Rikku laughed this time. "Pypo yes! It's supposed to be as close to the real thing as possible."

Paine nodded to herself again. "Yeah I read that…about the placebo part…"

"Okay so who else would be knocking me up?"

"A sperm donor."

Rikku sighed. "Well without you it'd just sit there now wouldn't it?"

She had a point.

"I just don't want to fuck it up, I mean it's two thousand dollars' worth of electrolytes and cum color number four."

Rikku made a face, Paine's choice of words never seized to amaze her. "I'm more worried about the results." She fiddled with her grandfather's ring on her right hand.

Paine looked at her then almost forgetting what this whole thing was about. She leaned forward to look for something else in the folder. When she found the slip of paper she was looking for she scooted her chair closer to Rikku and pointed at it. "They got a value analysis too." The value of knowing was more cost effective than failed attempts. The slip of paper was formed into a chart that singled off the cost of the most popular fertility treatments by the cycle. "So like, if we didn't know? If your dad didn't say anything look how much money we would have spent." She looked over at Rikku. "I think it's good we're doing this four years out, but no matter what happens at least we'll know."

Rikku put a hand through Paine's hair affectionately. She loved her, she really did. "I'll make the appointment." She still was worried about what all this would mean, but Paine was right, they had a lot of time to think about it once they had numbers. Again, time was everything. "Do you think we can get the process started in time to do this in two weeks?"

Paine looked at her for a moment. She was nervous, but she was more nervous about Auron's release. "That's real close to—"

"Valentine's Day, I know."

She nodded. "Whatever you want to do. Princess." She nodded again to show her wife that she understood. "We'd get the results pretty quick too so…"

Rikku sighed. "I don't want this to just be a distraction, it's important to us."

"So it won't be, we'll do this for real."

"Thank you Paine, really. I didn't know why I was so afraid to tell you before."

Paine let it go, they had bigger things to jump as a couple. "I just want you to feel fulfilled." They shared a moment before Paine looked away. "The late late show is almost on."

Rikku checked the time on her cell phone. "Fifteen minutes."

"You want to save that talk for tomorrow?"

She shook her head. "No, I feel like we're on a roll don't you?"

Paine nodded and closed up the folder. "Yeah…" She reached for her cup but realized she was out of tea. "How you feelin' about the whole thing?" She was looking at her wedding band, it was still kinda new to her usual surroundings. When Rikku didn't say anything Paine looked at her. "Hm?"

Rikku had become visibly troubled. "I've never wanted anyone to die before Pypo." She shrugged once. "How could I when I just sent my Knyhtsy? I feel horrible about being angry." She didn't understand how some people could hold something like anger so easily within them.

"You're only now just processing it." Her wife had the most graceful soul, always a smile, always this warmth. It's what gravitated Paine towards her in the first place. She knew Auron returning into their lives had troubled her more than anything else because it made her feel things she didn't believe in, like hate.

"I know, it's just that now we need to sit here and talk about him returning and trying to…I never did anything to him Pai. I never was ever mean, even in letting him down. I cared, too much maybe, and in the beginning it was…" She made a face. "Nice to be cared about too. I felt invisible for a long time and I know it was wrong, and just gross but he saw me."

"He used you." Paine was conflicted hearing Rikku talk like maybe over the years she had come to accept and forgive what had happened. "Men like that never change."

"I know, I just hate how angry he makes me, that still he's able to control something in me, make me feel something I don't want."

"He wasn't only in prison for us." She shook her head. "He's a shitty person, one who doesn't even deserve your thoughts."

Us.

Rikku reached for Paine's hand. "I know you, you don't like hurting people, even the ones you hate."

Paine looked away for a moment. Oh she had definitely thought about what she'd do if Auron were to show his face near her wife. Suddenly her mind's eye visualized the gun under her bed. "I don't, but to protect my family I'd do anything." She looked back at Rikku. "You're my family now." She'd always been Paine's family, but now more so than ever before.

"I'm just afraid him coming back will make you someone you're not."

"Out of everything, that's what worries you most?"

She nodded. "For me too Pypo, I don't want to go backwards anymore. Too much of my time and yours is spent on the past."

Paine held her hand back. "I wanna do the right thing here…but" She just knew that Auron wasn't going to play fair. "I just don't know what that is."

Rikku liked when Paine was this honest with her. It gave a glimpse of that almost comic battle between Paine's gentle nature and her rough life experiences. "What?" She pushed gently when Paine fell quiet.

"We don't know what he knows. In Judo you have different color belts, even the black belts aren't all black. We don't know what he knows."

"Uncle B's files didn't say anything?"

"Said he was searching for information on us, he knows we graduated NLU, whatever the school has on file about that then that's what he knows."

Rikku bit her lip gently as she thought. "Then that means he knows I went to graduate school….Thinks I may still live with Pop….What did you put on your exit surrey?"

"I didn't even do it."

"Paine!"

"What? I didn't wanna come back for a ten year reunion."

Rikku sighed remembering how Paine said she had filled it out, most likely just to get her off her case, maybe that little lie had paid off in their favor. "So you basically disappeared."

Paine nodded seeing room for opportunity. "Haven't modeled, my names not anywhere."

"He was so certain we'd break away." She squeezed Paine's hand gently. "That we were too different."

Paine smiled softly. They were married now, look at that. "Well yeah, a Princess and a hood, I was bound to screw up."

"You have screwed up."

Her smile grew. "Yeah but you always forgave me."

"It's cause you were so cute when you came back with your tail between your legs Pypo Kerrigan."

Paine picked up their joint hands and kissed Rikku's hand. "So he doesn't know us as a couple then."

"Nope."

Paine's smile turned into a frown. "Which means he won't really show any caution with trying to get to you."

Rikku sat back in her chair and put a piece of her blonde hair behind her ear. She had realized it too. "Right."

##

Rikku double wrapped her long sleeved sweater around her body as she moved to open the front door.

A cool gust of wind from the fourth floor hall way and a brunette wrapped in cashmere hurried in. "Oh it's horrible." Yuna moaned as she acknowledged her cousin.

Rikku smiled and watched as she began to tear off layers as if they themselves carried the morning chill. "Hi Yunie."

"Please tell me you're making tea."

Rikku chuckled softly. Yeah she grew up in a desert, but at night it got cold plenty of times. Yuna was from a tropic where even the nights were just the right degree for a swim if you so pleased. She'd never get used to these Lucan winters.

"Course." She motioned to the kitchen but Yuna side stepped her and neared the ambers of the fire place before turning around and smiling like a child might. The blonde laughed again. "Is it that bad out there?" She whispered remembering that Paine was still asleep.

Noticing the octave change Yuna motioned to the wall behind the fire place which separated the small living room from the bedroom. Rikku nodded. "It's worse." She lowered her tone then walked over to her cousin to place an affectionate hand to her blonde tassels. "Maybe knyhtsy was right about cutting my hair."

Their knyhtsy

It brought a sad little lump in Rikku's throat, living like she was just in Bikanel had worked until someone mentioned her or she was reminded of the old soul. Seeing the sadness well a little in Rikku's face, then the guilt for almost forgetting Yuna took control.

"I miss her too."

Not acknowledging it would have been wrong.

Rikku nodded and then motion to the kitchen again. "Day."

Yuna nodded and took her tote off her shoulder. "Day, oac bmayca."

They went into the homey kitchen where a tea kettle was on the gas stove. Today was going to be a well needed day for the both of them. The week that had gone by had been so long and eventful for both for many reasons. Just as Paine and Rikku had to, Rikku and Yuna needed to get on the same page as well. Her cousin was her best friend, her most trusted ally besides her wife and they had been through so much growing up and even now. They never fought, a characteristic most sibling like relatives seldom had. Yuna was always there, and Rikku for her as well. There was a comfort in that pact. The plan was that they would eat breakfast and talk, then head to the new house and check things out, then head to Lulu's for dinner.

Yuna rested her bag down and pulled out a brown paper bag from a bakery near her apartment in the art district. "The Al Bhed bakery opened last week, they have toasties."

Rikku's mouth watered at just the mention of the sweet or savory Al Bhed pastries. It made her heart ache just a little more. Milana made the best damn toasties. "Yummy, what flavors?"

Yuna emptied the brown paper bag revealing three small brown trays with lids. "Well I got you and I blueberry, and I got Paine the beef and spice ones she likes, then there are some cheese and chive one's thrown in for free since I ordered in Al Bhed."

Rikku peered into the bag licking her lips. "We take care of each other. Are they any good?"

Yuna nodded as she reached for the kettle before the loud whistling could begin. She noticed two tall mugs set up each with a sachet of chai. "Surprisingly yes, and I like how they package them. I can bring them into work and the dough doesn't get soggy after they are fried like that other place." She watched the cups swallow the water up and the sachet bob like floatie. "The best ones are still from downtown though."

Rikku nodded in agreement. "But you need like a buddy going down there,..Or I'd just send Paine."

Yuna chuckled a little. "There is some butter bread in the other container as well."

Rikku accepted the tea handed to her. She inhaled the aroma and sighed into her mug before looking at her cousin. "Yunie."

Yuna nodded with a small smile. "Quite the week, hm?"

"Oh. You have no idea."

"Let's sit down."

Paine usually slept in on Saturdays, Sunday's she'd be up and running errands with Rikku, but Saturday mornings were glorious days for the sole reason that when she was able to get a solid seven to nine hours of sleep she felt brand new. This particular winter morning Paine woke with a small breath. She turned over on her stomach to cling to the extra blanket her blonde bedmate had surely left her.

Most weekends Rikku was like an energizer bunny in the morning. Going places, dropping things off, cleaning, usually all before Paine even realized she was gone. She usually woke to a quiet apartment, extra blankets, and a sticky note on the fridge or counter telling her to eat something or something else. Sometimes Paine would laugh to herself at the nonsense Rikku wrote just to write a sticky note. Other times she groaned. Rikku's favorite when they were fighting was a simple. "I'm still mad at you. xox" She always made sure to put the hugs and kisses.

Paine paused in her attempt to warm up a little more with the blankets when she heard voices. It took her a half a second to recognize her wife's, and then an acute strain to recognize Yuna's. With a small shrug Paine closed her eyes again. They probably had a lot to talk about, so dozing for a half hour more wouldn't hurt would it?

At the glass dining table Rikku nodded as she chewed her food, warm blueberry with a hint of clove covered her tongue and she took the moment to thank blueberries and all their hard work at tasting so delicious.

"And so he calls me, and says that Tidus came over…"

Rikku reached for her tea. "To the bank?" Yuna nodded. "Well it's just not cute anymore."

Yuna actually snorted a little with quiet laughter. "I really just wonder what he thinks? That Lai won't tell me?"

"Maybe he knew Lai would tell you, that's his strategy to get you back…to consume the conversation between you two….what's going on with you two anyway?"

Yuna shook her head. "Nothing is going on with me and anything. I'm focusing on the order, and my dear baby cousin."

They were literally only a year and a half apart but when Yuna wanted to convey her warmth for the other woman she used the term.

Rikku huffed lightly and sipped at her tea some more. "I already told you how I feel…" Yuna nodded. Anger wasn't something Rikku's body held well. " Maybe I'll go to the gym with Paine with week." She joked lifelessly.

"I honestly feel better about the situation knowing you two aren't fighting anymore."

"I think the shock of finding out kinda threw us for a loop."

"How about the fertility clinic?" She remembered how just a week ago she was calming her cousin down about that and turning twenty five.

"I didn't even want to bring it up, it really didn't seem right or fair or anything to think about that knowing that with Auron coming out and things could be so different so fast. Paine…she, I think it's really getting to her that I didn't tell her. Y'know like she's not mad, Pid cra kadc drec mug," Yuna nodded. "I know she's thinking about it, I can feel it when she looks at me." Rikku paused. "She told me the other day that she's feeling more…like her old self."

"How so?"

"Like she needs more outlets, like she is regressing a little." Rikku lowered her voice a little more even though she knew Paine slept like the dead. "E drehg cra'c rindehk."

Yuna nodded slowly. "Vnus fedrtnyfym?"

"Yeah."

"She won't tell you."

"I know she won't, but I think in her own way she tried to which was new. We don't talk about that Yunie, except on anniversaries. She's six years you know?"

It was hard to believe, but in a very good way. "I know, it's incredible."

"But with PAWS she told me once sometimes it feels like days and not years."

"It has gotten better though right?"

The blonde nodded quickly. "Oh yeah, she sleeps now which is like crazy because I've never known her to sleep a full night…well at least not on the weekends."

"Honestly you two seem happier."

"Well yeah Yunie. We just got married." She picked up a piece of bread. "But just the baby talk alone almost sent her hyperventilating into a paper bag; if I wasn't so freaked out myself I would have laughed." Rikku shook her head as she chewed. "Cra'c ytunypma, pid E funno."

Yuna nodded. "It's probably all this change and…uncertainty…" She took a moment to acknowledge something that had been bothering her since finding out about Auron. "Do you think he will truly come back to hurt you?"

The blonde nodded solemnly. "Uncle B told Pai he somehow got someone to look through files from NLU on us. He knows I went to grad school and he wouldn't look that up if he wasn't angry…Paine hurt him pretty bad, and you know how Auron was with his pride and what not."

She exhaled. "I wish I hadn't." The fact that she was so comfortable around that creep before she knew bothered her to no end. It was one of the factors that caused her to lose sleep some nights. "Well you will both stay with me right? If things get too crazy? I know you won't want to be around Uncle Cid or my father. " Yuna nodded to herself. "Consider it please, I don't know what I would do if something happened to you."

Rikku smiled softly. "Okay." They ate for a moment in silence just for the sake of their tea getting cold. "Are you talking to Uncle B at all?"

"No."

"He tried…Paine is angry about it, I can understand why but he gave me some time to settle into a place where I'm not as scared as I thought I would be…he tried."

Yuna sighed. "I know I know. Sometimes I feel like his heart is on the wrong side of his chest though."

Rikku chuckled. "What?"

"Four years Rikku? And before that he was running the business by himself, and before that he was raising me. Making sure I had everything I needed, traveling, not sleeping, going and going. It has to be there I know it is, but it's misplaced, it's not connected to the right things. He's going to drive himself into an early grave—"

"Don't say that."

"It's true though." Yuna shook her head. "He cares for others more than you or I can, but he doesn't give himself an ounce of that love. I'm upset at him for that."

"Maybe it's not on the other side…maybe it's just broken."

Yuna lifted the corner of her mouth in sad admittance before she took a sip of her tea. Everyone in the family knew that the death of Senya Bayla-Shaw had done something to Braska that he couldn't and probably would never shake. "I used to blame myself…but then I realized it wasn't my birth that hurt so much, it wasn't looking at me that hurt him….this thing with Tidus…realizing how I feel and being in a room with him like your birthday and not being able to say a thing…."

Rikku nodded. "The love of his life is gone."

"Exactly."

Rikku sat back with that thought. If Paine were to leave her first she'd just about die of heartache. Then she realized how Braska might feel about her late aunt, then she looked at the product of their love, her cousin, and she tried to feel what she would feel. Rikku sighed and reached a hand to Yuna's wrist. "I want you to be happy. So how are we going to do this?"

"Do what?"

"Get you and Tidus together, or get you and Lai together, or just even get you a little lovin'."

Yuna laughed a light blush pinching her cheeks. "I don't have time!" She exclaimed quietly.

"You sound like Uncle B."

"Honestly though."

Rikku removed her grasp and sighed. "Alright so a little lovin' that's like what? One night? You got time for that."

Her cousin continued to smile. It was nice to see Rikku again. "I'm not just going to hook up with someone."

"We should make you an online dating profile."

Yuna rolled her eyes. "Moving right along…"

Rikku laughed. "Aw Yunz."

About fifteen minutes later the sound of running water in the bathroom and the toilet flushing caused the two, who were now standing in the kitchen to look up and then look to one another quickly. "Grouchy pants is awake." Rikku announced lovingly.

"So what are we doing again?"

"We'll say we have to go to Home Goods. I think Paine would rather do ballet than come with us."

Yuna laughed a little at the mental image of Paine in a leotard. "Alright." She went to the dining table and sat down. They had a few sketches pulled out that she wanted Rikku to make changes to them with her.

Paine padded out of the bathroom in black basketball shorts, socks, and a gray long sleeve shirt with her dojo name and address on the back and "Judoka" in black letters wrapped around her right bicep. It had been a gift from Mackenzie who had one just like it, but with white letters on a blue material. Paine smiled in greeting at Yuna. Her hair was simply slicked back with a small part near the side to allow for some parts of her natural bang to fall in her face. It was her "mobster" hairstyle, at least that's what Rikku called it. "Morning."

Yuna smiled back. "Good morning."

Rikku watched with amusement as Paine shuffled into the kitchen and bypassed her for the coffee machine. "Good Morning Pypo." She said loudly. Paine grunted in response as she went about making her coffee. Rikku chuckled and went up behind Paine to wrap her arms around her slender torso. "Paiii." She whined.

Paine sighed softly. "What?"

"I wanna kiss."

Paine ignored the blondes hug and wore a little smirk in place as she continued to make her coffee. Rikku never set the timer on weekends; it was a silent protest, one that Paine ignored happily. If she had to wait to get her coffee, Rikku had to wait to get her kiss.

Rikku dethatched herself and playfully pushed at Paine's head. "Fine then." She went back to the tea she was steeping. "Anyway Yunie…." The two trailed off into one conversation about sketches while Paine closed up the ground coffee bag and pushed it back to its place on the counter beside the small glass jar of multi colored jelly beans. She was contemplating if she wanted to go out in the snow for a bagel, but then she remembered their budgeting last night and reached for a box of oat squares in the cabinet.

Seeing this Yuna spoke up. "Paine I brought you toasties, they're in that brown bag right there…"

"Here?"

"Yes."

"Mm, thanks Yuna." She reached for the bag. "Can I reheat them in the microwave or…"

"Probably the oven is best."

"She shouldn't get any," Rikku crossed her arms and looked back at her wife.

"Pretty sure she said she brought them for me, babe."

Yuna laughed at the look Rikku gave her. "I brought it for everyone, don't get me involved."

Rikku got into Paine's personal space. "Fryd ec fnuhk fedr oui? Hu geccac, hu rikc...ku pylg eh dra nuus yht dno dryd ahdnyhla ykyeh." She joked as she threw a hand in the direction of their bedroom.

Paine looked down at her simply. "You're in front of the oven, move."

Rikku tried not to laugh. "I can't with you sometimes. I just can't." She turned to her cousin. "Do you want to stop by my job first? I need to get out of here before she divorces me."

Paine laughed a little at that as she arranged the five squares onto a baking tray with parchment behind her.

Yuna wore a wiry smile. "You have the other sketches there?"

"Well no but remember you said you wanted to use some of my pencils, my pencils are there and at Pops place. I have like one here."

'Alright. Let me wash my hands." Yuna got up and brought her and Rikku's breakfast plate to the kitchen sink before disappearing to the bathroom. Rikku went over to the dining room table to gather up all the sketches.

"Pypo."

Paine was chewing on a cold toastie as she waited for the others to heat. "Mm?"

"Yunie and I are going to Home Goods."

Paine nodded. "Kay. For what?" She asked mildly interested in the response. The blueberry ones were really good cold with her coffee.

Rikku thought quickly. "Yunie needs some things for her apartment. She's doing her bathroom over for spring."

"Mhm."

"Are you going to the gym?"

Paine shook her head no then took a sip of coffee. "You want me to come?"

Rikku froze. On any other occasion she would actually love that. She didn't know why, but there was something so…romanticized about the huge department store. "Uhmm no, not if you don't want to. I mean you hate that place."

"Yeah but I need something for my car and I've been putting it off. I can go."

"You're not even ready." Rikku began grasping at straws. "And…uhm we're gonna buy her thongs too…" Paine raised a brow, "For like…the spring..and her hook ups."

She nodded slowly. "…Okay."

"Yeah so, that'd be weird if you were there…."

Paine didn't see how, Yuna had practically seen her naked while modeling back then, and if she remembered clearly from one of their silly conversations Yuna didn't wear thongs. That was more of Rikku's thing…. Alright so maybe her wife was up to something, honestly though she found herself not wanting to know. After last night she was confident that Rikku would tell her things if they were truly that important. She trusted her. Paine took a sip of her coffee before turning and checking on her breakfast. "You need money for something?" They budgeted out a little bit of money for other things but it was on Paine's card, so if she needed it she would have to let her know now.

Rikku walked into the kitchen to bring in Yuna's forgotten mug. "No honeybunches."

Yuna came out of the bathroom and chuckled at Paine dipping a toastie in her coffee. "New Lucan's would."

"It's actually really fucking good."

"She's not one of us Yunz, give her a break." Rikku joked while rubbing Paine's arm. She then looked to her. "Dinner at Lulu's okay?"

"Kay."

"And call your mother."

"Why?"

Rikku gave her a look. "We still want to go to the show one, and two Paine because she deserves to know what's going on."

Paine sighed heavily. She didn't like the word _deserve_ and there was still a lot she hadn't actually told Keira about…like her getting shot for one. "Later."

Rikku noted the look and nodded not wanting to push. "Okay." The blonde turned to her cousin. "Let me get my coat and we'll go."

When she returned Paine was sitting at the table with Yuna eating. Rikku fixed the powdery pink beanie on her head and pulled at her gloves. It was really hot in here now, which meant it was time to go. Seeing that Rikku was ready Yuna stood and gathered her bags. "Pypo, just one? For the road?" Rikku pouted cutely as she rested her hands on Paine's shoulders. Paine stood and nodded while walking them to the door.

"Drive safe."

"She's not driving in this weather." Yuna shook her head at Rikku.

"Even better."

"Bye, call me okay?"

Paine nodded. "Yeah." She leaned down and kissed her tenderly enough to let Rikku know that this morning was nothing but banter, and how she really felt about her was serious and true. "Bye."

Rikku was all smiles now. If all of this didn't end her, Paine's kisses would.

Paine smiled at the dopey little smile on Rikku's face and then turned to Yuna. "Good luck with the thongs."

"What!?"

Paine furrowed a brow. "Rikku sai—"

"AlrightbyeIloveyou!"

Before Paine could say anything else Rikku was pushing her cousin out the door.

Paine stood there a moment watching the door before shrugging and going into her room to grab her cellphone. She sat back down at the table and shot Baralai and Gippal a group text.

_**Gotta figure out how to do this without doing it. I'll pick you both up in twenty.**_

##

13

"Busy day." Paine mumbled as she motioned for Rikku to take the only seat available. The waiting room at the Baaj fertility clinic and woman's center was packed. It was two in the afternoon on a Monday.

Rikku sat gladly, the closest train stop was a few blocks down, and she had mistakenly worn heels to work today. "We almost didn't get an appointment."

Paine had no idea when Rikku had called, most likely when she was with Yuna at Home Goods or maybe when she stopped back at the apartment to get something to bring to Lulu's and Wakka's for dinner. She had been discreet about it, all Paine knew was that that morning she had told her wife to come with her at lunchtime, and so here they were. Paine handed Rikku the Baby Placebo Method informational folder, she didn't know why she brought it, but she did. Right now though she could feel the room's eyes on them. What was a well off looking Al Bhed woman in business casual doing here with some bum in a gym clothes. Surely they weren't here for an abortion. As Paine crossed the room to the small coffee caddy in the corner she wondered who was, and who wasn't. It was a Monday, and it seemed this place never really fell empty.

After tossing back a bit of the horrible instant coffee probably made hours before Paine brought Rikku over a cup water.

"Thanks Pypo." Rikku smiled. Ever since their talk Paine had been reasonably quieter than usual. She didn't have much to say it seemed, but she still found herself curious as to what Paine was thinking about, if she were thinking at all. "Are you sure you don't want to sit?"

Paine waved her off. "No. I think we're going to be here a little while. I'm gonna call Leon and let him know."

Rikku nodded. "Alright."

She stepped outside into the cold air and enjoyed how freeing it felt. It was way too stuffy in the waiting room. Paine pulled out her cell and found Bridge Ports number. A few rings later and Annie picked up.

"BridgePort Studios."

"Hey Annie its Paine."

"Boss." Paine could hear her smile. "What can I do for you?"

"Is Leon around?"

"No he actually just stepped out for lunch, but he does have a client at three thirty." She paused. "Can I help you?"

Paine rubbed the back of her head. "Yeah just, can you open up my calendar?"

"Not on the main computer, only client appointments show up."

"Alright well go in my office, it should be open." Leon had to slip in and out sometimes to get certain forms and papers for the orders.

"Alright, hold on." Annie grabbed the cordless phone and brought it with her. She slipped into the small office and took a moment to look around. She never got to be in here for too long, and any little info on her boss was gold, especially when she was acting so off at work. On Paine's desk were a few folders with client names, it was pretty well organized. A pen and pencil holder was there, a small bin for paper clips. There were three picture frames cluttered together facing her now. She leaned in a lttle closer and immediately recognized the blonde smiling at the camera in a pretty yellow and orange sundress holding onto Paine near the water. It looked like the port, Paine smiled softly as her arms circled the short women's waist. She supposed it was cute. The next was of a young girl with dark skin dressed in what seemed to be a fighter gi of white. She had a yellow belt wrapped around it and was standing very proudly. Okay so she was adorable, were she and Paine related though? The next seemed to be a group shot at what looked like a blitz game. She could only tell because of the Goer sea of yellow and blue behind them and all of their clothing. The short blonde Annie knew to be Paine's new wife was the only one clad in red and black though and holding a small baby who to was dressed in a Goer onsie. At the blonde's right was Paine with a simple team jersey on and a backwards Goer blue cap, to the blonde's left was a raven haired woman. Annie squinted a little and found herself wondering if Paine had any siblings. Her whole demeanor just screamed only child, but maybe she and this woman were related somehow. And whose baby was that!?

To Annie's left behind the computer monitor was an odd amount of sweets. Gingerbread and candy canes of every shape and size. They seemed to be in a gift basket with all the pretty decoration removed.

"Whoa can I have a cookie?" She laughed into the phone when she realized she might be taking a little too long.

Paine furrowed her brows. "A what?"

"You've got a mess of gingerbread cookies here, they're my favorite."

"Uh, yeah sure." Paine shook her head. "So you're looking at today's date." She tried to keep the younger trainer focused.

Annie picked up a small gingerbread man and unwrapped it with one hand as she wigged the mouse to turn the monitor on with the other. The phone sat between her ear and shoulder. "Um, password?" She asked when the screen popped up requesting one to go any further.

"Mateo."

"Mateo?"

"Yeah, M.A.T.E.O Mateo."

"Is that your dog's name?" She joked.

"My nephew's."

Annie's smile fell. "Oh…wow I'm sorry, it's a good name."

Paine actually chuckled a little. "Capital M."

"Right, okay I'm in."

"Alright so under today's date can you read me what it says after three?" She was meaning to stop by Keira's"

"Um…okay yeah. You have Barro Kahn at three forty five, the note says cardio."

Paine nodded wondering if she could push that back a little. "What else?"

"Then it says on the side here…. Keira 7am-11pm GST."

Keira had given her season schedule around Harvest Dinner time, "What about tomorrow?"

"It has the same note except it has a few more times."

"Shows." Paine mumbled to herself. She and Rikku still needed to go to a show.

"Excuse me?"

"No nothing, okay um…can you give me Barro's information?"

"Yeah, you got a pen?"

"Hold on." Paine slipped back into the large waiting room to find her wife reading a magazine. "Babe, do you have a pen?"

"A pen?"

"Yeah and some paper." She waited as Rikku searched through her bag. On the line Annie could hear just about everything. "Did they call you up yet?" Paine asked looking around the room. A seat near her wife had cleared and Rikku had her bag there to reserve it for her when she came back in.

"Not yet, but they're moving fast."

"STDs probably."

"Paine!"

Paine looked around to see if someone had heard her joke, no one said anything if they did. Rikku finally handed her a pink pen and an already opened envelop.

"Just write on the back."

"Okay, thanks." Paine hurried out of the room again and pulled the phone to her ear. "Sorry."

"No worries."

"Okay what's his number?" She hung up the phone and called Keira. There was no answer and Paine didn't leave a message. The actress would see it and no doubt call her back. With slight hesitation she called Gippal.

"Dr. P what up what up?" He was in the middle of prep for that night's dinner service.

"Hey yeah so you hear anything yet?"

"Not form my guy about the wood no, but you wouldn't believe who's askin' around for you?"

"Who?"

"Jugs."

"Dona?" Her name even felt weird to say. What was with her past coming back full force this month? "Why the hell is she askin' about me?"

"Ran into Nooj the other day buyin' pot."

"I thought Nooj had a grower."

"Yeah but he and his lady are in what some might call a permanent disagreement."

"The fuck?"

"Some free love bullshit. Hope Blossom want's to open the relationship, so I mean I don't know what his fucking problem is man, free pot AND more ass? I'd bust that shit wide open. You think Em would be down for a little girl on girl? I mean…"

Paine shook her head as her best friend continued rambling about bitches that now want him because he's being loyal.. "Gip."

"Monica, Hersha, Nona, Cidda, not to be confused with her twin Ciddae...and apparently Tori and her guy are finally through. She fucking goes to grab my dick in the walk in yesterday and I fucking move! I mean we both had bets on Tori, she's a little freak. Pretty sure she'd go for you still, but I think her coming on to me means I won—"

"Gippal…"

"And Now Dona I guess. Gotta say I saw her a few months ago. She's still got the best ass on Crenshaw, and those jugs." He whistled. "I just can't believe you had that. Don't get me wrong Cid's girl is a ten, happily ever after type shit… but there is something about a Kilikan woman…."

"Gippal!"

He laughed "Aye anyway, yeah she asked if you still stayed around here."

"This is something you call me with Gippal." She shook her head. "What if I didn't call?"

"I mean relax huh? I'm kinda in the middle of work y'know, we can't all take lunch breaks off to fuck around."

She laughed dryly. "Fuck around? I wish I was fucking around, instead I'm out here freezing my tits off trying to figure out how I'm gonna keep my life afloat for the next two weeks."

Gippal laughed again. "We'll take care of it."

She sighed. "Why is she asking about me?"

"Cause its Dona. She's always got some fucking problem." He moved to check on his reduction.

Paine shook her head slowly. "Her brother is Auron's cellmate…" She hadn't tried to speak to Paine in years! Now all of a sudden she's asking about where she lives? It seemed a little off to Paine, fuck it, it seemed way off to Paine.

Gippal paused with the realization. "Yeah…fuck."

"You think she knows something?"

"Has to right? She hadn't tried asking about you before." He heard her sigh heavily and began to worry a little. "You wanna smoke tonight?"

"Maybe."

"Well let me know."

"Can you do me a favor?"

"What?"

She shifted her weight and looked up the street. "Has her number changed?"

Gippal paused. "Yeah."

"Can you give it to me?"

"You got a pen?"

"Yeah, I got a pen."

"You got your sense?!"

Paine shook her head. "Not anymore."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

Rikku smiled at Paine as she sat down beside her finally. "Just in time. The nurse just told me we're up next." Paine nodded without saying a word. "Everything okay at work?"

Paine nodded again. "Yeah, I have a client at three forty five though."

Rikku knew Paine liked to do well at her job. "If we're not out of here by three thirty you can just leave. I don't want you to miss that."

The judo fighter shook her head. "I'll stay." She didn't want Rikku to do any of this alone. Her talk with Gippal was distracting though. Regardless of the circumstances Dona had went to see her after she had been shot. She was there when she overdosed. She was even there to give her the files that would lock her own brother up if it meant she and Gippal wouldn't end up like Shuyin. There had to be something to be said about that. Paine didn't know what, but here she was again, popping up seemingly out of nowhere. She wouldn't lie and say that she knew it was just out of the goodness of her heart. Dona was trouble in every sense of the word. Like fire almost. It could cook you a warm meal but at the same time burn your house down. She stayed away from her for good reason, and besides it was something Rikku made clear she didn't like. Besides the normal nagging about simple things like eating, Rikku never told her what to do. Dona however was the exception, and Paine knew if she were to mention it now all the work they had been doing would fall apart. Paine also knew though that telling Rikku would probably be the better idea, still she didn't want to stress the shorter woman out. They already had too much to deal with. She had to know if whatever Dona had to say was worth her time. The way she saw it Bart was either teaming up with Auron, which was something she didn't even let her mind entertain, or he was trying to warn them, or he was just being a prick now that he finally had something on her.

"Kerrigan? Rikku?"

Rikku stood and gathered up her things. "Paine?"

Paine shook herself out of her thoughts and stood quickly. They entered what appeared to be Dr. Irene Raymond's office. It was small, as to be expected for a city office type. There was no window, but the substitute for that was the walls were painted a soft pastel blue. The floor was wooden save for an area rug in the corner with a few children's toys scattered about. The room felt sterile, yet somehow warm at the same time. Dr. Raymond's desk was clear, not even a computer. There was however a name plate with her name and credentials on it and a desk calendar.

Irene Raymond appeared suddenly from a door behind her desk. "The Kerrigans." She smiled and extended her hand. "Nice to see you again, please please, sit." She seemed to be in a pleasant yet professional mood. Probably because she knew she was going to get some money out of them Paine thought with a little sigh. "How are you to doing?"

Rikku nodded slowly and glanced at Paine. "We're well. Thank you."

"And Paine?"

Paine nodded. "Good."

Irene nodded. "I'm glad you were able to get an appointment. Usually it's difficult around this time of day."

"Yes it was rather short notice." Rikku bit her lip before looking to Paine again. "We thought about our options, and decided doing the Placebo Method might be the most…"

"Relevant option." Dr. Raymond nodded. "A lot of couples jump right ahead into other procedures when they hear the possibility of not being able to reproduce traditionally. It's something I've never quite understood in all my years of practice. If we are to give you a better chance of knowing what will take, why bypass it?"

"The price tag maybe?" Paine attempted.

Dr. Raymond nodded a healthy smile in place. "Well yes, but here we can offer several payment plans. I just think they were nervous, in a rush. I advise all my patients to adopt a healthy amount of patience; these processes can be very taxing." She took a second. "Especially for new couples."

Rikku and Paine both exchanged looks. They wouldn't exactly call themselves a new couple; this was sure as hell new territory for them though.

"Paine and I have been through a lot." Rikku spoke up. "This is something we talked about and for right now I know it's what we want."

Dr. Raymond nodded. "Well that's good. Have you read through the informational folder? I'm sure you have plenty of questions for me."

Paine nodded and motioned for Rikku to hand her back the folder she gave her to hold earlier. "I do actually." She rifled through the disrupted papers looking for her sheet where she had scribbled down some things she didn't understand. Dr. Raymond and Rikku exchanged a little look. "Alright." She found it and began to silently read through them. "The….artificial sperm—"

"We simply prefer to call it sperm, remember the key to this whole thing is tricking the body in order to get a response."

"Doee that really work though?" Rikku asked. "If I know it isn't real, even if I try and forget that, won't I be less likely to…take?"

The doctor nodded. "Yes there is a bit of mental preparation involved. For the most part we encourage couples to talk as if it were real, some people like to create baby name lists, or others like to pretend shop online as if they were truly expecting. Whatever you decide to do, it's important Paine." She turned her attention to her. "It's important that you both take it seriously."

"Do I seem like the type to not take this seriously?" Why did everyone think she wasn't capable of this!?

"No not at all. You came with a page of questions; I think that says enough about your attitude about this. However I have seen so many times that the partner not actually getting the treatment will brush off the mental exercises designed in our plan. With something like this it is crucial that the curriculum set aside be followed absolutely. Like any experiment, which in simple terms this is, it is important to duplicate it perfect every time."

"Okay so then we'd need to come here for the…insemination process then?"

Rikku internally shook her head.

"No, that part can be done at home, it's actually better that it be done there." She nodded. "I'm sorry you had a question about the sperm?"

"Yeah…it's just a bunch of hormones right?"

"Yes essentially." She looked to Rikku. "Did you look at our list of ingredients?"

"Yes, I'm not allergic to any of them."

"Great, usually we have a problem with the insoluble fiber used to create the sperm head."

"Where would we get this? Or since we have the ingredient list can we just make it at home?" Paine asked.

It was clear Dr. Raymond couldn't tell if she were joking or not. "Well it would be ill advised to try and create this at home, besides I do not believe the average New Lucan had access to the type of equipment needed.

"Ah," Paine looked away.

Rikku chuckled a little. "She was joking."

"Oh." Dr. Raymond laughed a little when she realized her blunder. "I apologize."

"It's alright."

"The sperm will be created at a sperm bank.'

"A real one?"

"Yes, they have access to the right washing machines and the such." She noticed the doubt on both women's faces. "I reassure you though particular care is taken to your specific sperm."

"But they are made to be the same, no?" Rikku asked.

"Yes, the doctors involved with the mechanical creation have done a striking job at the visuals. You'll find that it looks exactly the same. However it is completely different and detected as such at the sperm bank who is partnered with us." She motioned to Paine's little list. "What else. I am here today to answer all your questions, please don't feel rushed."

"We come back in seven hours after right?"

"Yes yes, I usually advise for six with this winter traffic." She and Rikku shared a small laugh. It was clear to the doctor that Paine wasn't really here for pleasantries. That was fine though, she admired her for it actually. This was a serious thing; lots of couples didn't take it as such and thus messed up the algorithm with their attitude alone. "We advise for midnight of the morning of when you are able to come in. You'll call the same sperm bank and I will meet you there as well as one other member from the team, a scientist. Farlo Dooley, he's a funny man in thick glasses but a genius nonetheless. That morning we will take sample of your blood Rikku, hormone levels, an EKG even, we want all the factors."

"Will we be able to have the percentage that day?"

"Unfortunately no, the algorithm is created by the data we will collect that day, Farlo will bring it to his lab about a few blocks away from the bank and from there it will take about two weeks to tease out all of the derivatives. It sounds like a long time to wait, but really it's the fastest way we are able to receive accurate data." She paused. "Also within that time it's important to reframe from sexual intercourse, heavily lifting, extreme emotional stress. Simply anything that would cause a change in hormones. Sometimes Farlo likes to request a week benchmark. It's just to compare it to the baseline from what we gathered the last time you were here Rikku."

"How exactly does one refrain from extreme emotional stress living in New Luca?" Paine asked, every day she walked outside something pissed her off, she wasn't sure what it was like for Rikku but it be damn near impossible for her, and seeing as how the timeframe fell dangerously close to a very extreme emotional event Paine wasn't sure they wouldn't mess up the benchmark data or whatever.

Irene nodded. "As this isn't the real test itself, just a comparison to past data, it isn't as important, however the no sexual intercourse is one that is mandatory." She reached in her desk for some more information for Paine to put in her already bursting folder. "Even days after sex the body seems to react different to outside stimuli. One might experience mood swings of happiness, In this case since the sperm should be introduced in the atmosphere of an orgasm the body will change, those changes are…unknown."

"Unknown?" Rikku and Paine asked in unison.

"Yes, I assure you it passes within the week, but we have had reports of nausea, sometimes minor headaches, nothing too serious, but it is enough to note that these hormones will essentially set you up for pregnancy and then deflates abruptly sometime in the first week. It leaves the body, um…sad."

"Because it thinks it was pregnant.." Rikku nodded. It made sense; she just had no idea that her body would be able to feel something like that. "Is that why women get postpartum depression?"

Dr. Raymond nodded. "Exactly. Though other factors are most certainly involved during a pregnancy a lot of hormones are doing a lot of things. It creates a buzz of activity. That's why people often say a woman is glowing. She really can't help but feel the amazingness of it all. Sometimes that feeling being taken away too soon, as in the case of a miscarriage or…abortion. Even the birth itself, well that can cause the body to miss that hum of excitement."

"Do you have children?" Rikku asked with a little smile. She seemed to be speaking from experience now and not text.

Irene smiled. "Yes, three little ones."

"Three?" Paine would have never guessed the neutral doctor was a mommy.

"Yes, twins, little boys. My little terrors." She chuckled. "And an older girl." She smiled at them then. "This process can be very rewarding, but sometimes the discouragement of a low percentage could cause doubt. I like to give my patients a day by day prescription. Each day, you take one look at the positives, twice a day for the two weeks after the percentage is found out. Then we meet again, and we discuss alternatives if the number is low by your standards. Or we try again; making sure the support is there. Some couples like to do it three times average out the numbers and then go from there, but I assure you one is plenty."

"What would constitute as a very low percentage?" Rikku found herself asking. All of a sudden she wasn't as positive as she was when they first came in.

"Anywhere from one percent to nineteen. For some reason it becomes just a tad easier when the forty percent mark is hit. The average woman normally has about a 68 percent chance of getting pregnant when healthy sperm is introduced in perfect conditions."

##

They had just signed all the legal papers and were now checking out of the clinic. Paine watched as Rikku signed the check for two thousand dollars and handed it to the woman at the front desk.

"Should I cash it right away?" The nurse asked politely when she noticed the blonde's hesitation to rip it from the book. She knew that hesitation; she saw it a lot here.

"Um, no not yet please." Rikku smiled back. They had to deposit the four hundred dollar check Gippal gave Paine first and then that would take a day to process. Paine put her hands in her pockets and sighed a little. Rikku must have noticed the sound because she turned and looked at her as the clerk gathered their information for a receipt. "Pypo namyq ug."

Paine shook her head as if Rikku were wrong. "I'm good."

"Here you go, your next appointment here will be in a week. Is the same time okay?" The nurse asked.

"Yes, thank you." Rikku smiled and grabbed the receipt. Paine held the front door open for her and as they walked toward the metro entry station they talked about the next visit. "She said it would be for one more checkup and a psychological interview….what do you think that's about?"

Paine was holding her hand. "Don't know."

"Sounds like a job interview." Rikku wondered if she could somehow prepare for it.

"Look they already have our money, so unless their planning on refunding it, which I doubt, then I think you'll do fine."

"I know I know, I just hate interviews." She looked over at her wife. "What did you think of the whole thing?"

Paine shrugged slightly. "It seems legit…Are you nervous about what the test will say?"

"Well yeah!" Rikku shook her head with a little laugh but then grew contemplative. She pressed a finger to her bottom lip cutely as she thought. "I have to wait four weeks now, all together."

"If they rushed it it would be inaccurate."

"I know, it's good that they don't rush but at the same time." She shrugged.

"No sex after…."

Rikku laughed. "I saw your face when she said that."

"You know how I am when I'm told I can't do something."

"You just want to do it even more, I know."

"Anyway…" They'd be plenty preoccupied with things happening Paine was sure. As they walked into the hot underground and swiped their metro cards to get on the same train to take them back to the more inner city Paine thought about her conversation with the guys yesterday, then hers with Gippal today. They needed a real plan here. "Here it is." She motioned to the B train line approaching. They quickly found seats beside an old man and two young grungier looking teens playing loud rap music. Paine recognized the song, it was an older one, from when she was a teen and rap was still good. Rikku always told her she'd scare the neighbors with how loud she played her music in her car sometimes. Paine sometimes did it for that reason. If they were scared of her they wouldn't fuck with her. It seemed to work most of her life anyway. "You wanna go to a show this week? We still have the tickets." Paine remembered once the kids got off on the next stop.

"That'd be nice."

Paine nodded. "Rikks?"

"Mhm?" She looked to her wife again.

"I think I wanna go see him."

It took a long time for Rikku to respond and for a moment Paine wondered if she had heard her correctly. "Whom?"

"Auron."

Some more time passed. "I don't know if that's a good idea. If he doesn't know we're together and you go see him—"

"Dona was asking Nooj about me. Even if he doesn't know we're together it still means he's looking for me too."

Rikku shook her head. "What? Dona told you this?"

"No, I haven't spoken to her let alone seen her since…" Paine paused, she had seen Dona recently now that she thought about it. The grocery store with Mackenzie…they were buying sandwiches at the deli. They had locked eyes.

"Since when Paine?"

"Since a few months ago. Big Mack and I were buying lunch when I went down there to babysit when Joyce went out of town. I just saw her babe we didn't talk or anything."

Rikku looked a little doubtful, but the current conversation took preface. "You never told me you saw her." Or maybe it didn't.

"We were in the middle of wedding planning, I couldn't just casually bring her up to you back then, you would have killed me." Rikku had been an interesting bride to be, and interesting as in crazy.

"I may kill you now."

Paine chuckled. "You know how I feel."

Rikku shrugged. "All I know is she is the common denominator for bad things happening to you."

"That's not true." She hadn't spoken to Dona in years and bad shit still happened.

"You want to go see Auron? For what? I feel like if anything that would just upset you more." The train stopped and opened its doors. People of all shapes and sizes piled in and out.

_Stand clear of the closing doors please_

And it was off again

"I want to act like we're gonna have a baby, to help, it's the least I can do is fucking pretend right? But I can't stop thinking about what's going to happen, and the _extreme emotional stress_ it will put you through." Paine said honestly. "Dona asked Nooj if I still lived around there, I don't know what he told her but she's only ever tried to get in contact with me if she knew something."

"Like when you overdosed." They gave each other looks. "I'm sorry Pypo I am, I just do not see her as an ally in all of this. I'm glad you're being honest with me, but really? Her brother tried to get Gippal killed, which not to mention almost killed you. Then she gives all the files about Barthello's drug dealing to you, only to later learn that it was so the investigation wouldn't look at her. I don't trust her, and I worry that you do." She didn't think she'd ever get passed the fact that Dona was someone Paine was with, but she knew when she was being rational and irrational, and right now she knew she was right.

Paine knew her wife was justified for the way she felt, but there was more to it. "Someone had to take care of her little sisters; they'd get put in custody if she wasn't around." Paine paused. "I know you may not know what that's like, but it's no place for little girls alright?"

"Why are you trying to make this about things I don't' understand then?"

"I'm not."

"You are."

"I'm just saying that not everything that happened was because she's a selfish bitch."

Rikku was getting a little frustrated now. "So what are you tying to tell me then Paine? Uha sahdeuh uv ran hysa yht cittahmo dra bmyh ryc lryhkat."

"We don't have a plan though Ri. Alright, we don't fucking know what he's gonna do. Somehow though just randomly Dona is asking about me, after Braska said she visits Bart regularly. I'm just trying to piece everything together because as it stands when he comes out we don't know what's going to happen." She wiped off her mouth and looked elsewhere on the train. Some people looked away; others just didn't give a fuck. She turned back to her wife who looked visibly different, she didn't know what it was but the blonde was no longer in a favorable mood.

"So why don't you go talk to her then, it's what you want to do."

"Rikku…"

Rikku looked at her then, hurt and a little bit of anger in her green eyes. "I'm tired of trying to talk with you and make it right when the very next day everything we talked about doesn't apply anymore."

Paine suddenly felt extremely guilty. "It does though. Babe…Rikku, look at me okay?" She had turned away but now as looking back at her. "More than anything right now I want us to be smart, I don't want something to happen and we missed an opportunity to get a leg up, because I know you know we need one. He's got four years on us. We have like twelve days. I in no way changed what we discussed, one day at a time, together, that's why I'm telling you now. Okay, so you don't like the idea of me going to see him, fine, okay, but if I call Dona to figure out what the hell she knows... Will you be with me?"

_Stand clear of the closing doors please_

##

Vidina went running ahead after the batch of pigeons hanging out near the benches. They all quickly flew away at his dinosaur growls. The little boy looked up in wonder at the fluttering animals and then turned to his father and Padrina. "Daddy! Wook!" He pointed to the gray afternoon winter sky.

Wakka chuckled. "Why you scarin' em' for?"

Vidina ran back over to the duo who were walking behind him; his floppy winter hat nearly falling off when he collided with Wakka's leg and held on tightly. "Aunty Pai tolds me, she tolds me bwirds are bwave. Dey never get scared Daddy. Never ever ever."

Wakka could feel his little chest heave for air as he took whole full breaths against his left leg. His little face was slightly pink with the cold and his layers.

"Well she's right. They can fly y'know." Tidus nodded.

"Yeah!" Vidina nodded and jumped up and down a little, when he realized he himself could not take flight he looked to his father. "Daddy can you waise me?"

Wakka chuckled. "I am raising you."

The joked went clear over Vidina's little head.

"I got you little man." Tidus said as he stuffed his cell phone into his pocket and bent to take the little boy up on his shoulders. "Hold tight okay?" Tidus hiked him up and held his little jean clad legs to make sure he didn't fall off.

"Hey Vid." Wakka joked when his son was at his eye level now. He'd probably never be here naturally.

"Hi Daddy." Vidina mumbled, too preoccupied with looking around at the winter world from this new height.

"Anyway, so I'll fly out with you guys next week."

Wakka nodded. "Sounds good brudda, we got a suite for us but y'know you're always welcome."

"Yeah…"

The two continued along in the small park near the D'Autry home. Tidus had come over with a few other blitzers to talk about preliminary training and their Athletic Aptitude Test (AAT) It was the benchmark mandatory for all blitzers in the league and it was held in Djose every year around this time. Now that Vidina was old enough to withstand the flight he along with Lulu would be staying with Wakka for the few days. Vidina's real four year old birthday would be the first day of the trip so they figured it would be nice for him to experience a new culture. Even though Wakka was excited for the season to start, especially now that Tidus was on his team again like the old days, he was worried. Paine and Rikku had come over that weekend for dinner and though in the beginning everyone skirted around the topic once Vidina passed out and Lulu tucked him in they were able to openly talk about the two women's safety. He had known Paine for some time now, and Lulu had known Rikku for even longer, it's what made them worry more. This was a very real thing, and though he knew they knew it, he wondered just how much they were acknowledging the fact that this Auron guy was dangerous.

"So she finally texted me back."

Wakka looked to his left at his son on Tidus's shoulders grasping for the random shaving of snow that flew in the air before him. His eyes were bright; he looked like Lulu right now, quiet in his own little world but obviously very content with discovering that little world alone. "Huh?"

"Yuna, she finally texted me back." Tidus looked over at Wakka and paused with what he was going to say. "You okay dude?" Wakka had been abnormally quiet the entire day.

No one had told Tidus yet.

Wakka nodded. "Yeah brudda, why?"

Tidus shrugged. "Well usually you cut in and tell me what an idiot I am about the whole thing…."

"Well yuh are."

"Exactly, where is the support man?" He chuckled lightly. "What? Is this a Fatherly thing I won't understand?"

Wakka chuckled then and glanced at Vidina. "Nah."

"So? You think I still have a shot?"

"She responded? What she say?"

Tidus got excited but then frowned. "Oh…well she said she was really busy these next couple of weeks…."

Wakka shook his head.

##

"Where were you tonight?" Rikku asked quietly as Paine got into bed after showing up way after she said she would.

"Gips…" Planning.

Rikku watched her for a moment; Paine hadn't looked at her in the face and was looking at the ceiling. "You smoked." She could just tell. Paine said nothing. Rikku rolled over with her back turned to her. She was stressed out too, but that's why they talked about these things. Paine exhaled and searched her head for the right thing to say. "No Paine." She pushed her wife away gently when the taller woman turned to spoon her.

Paine sighed and looked at her own pillow for a moment. "I didn't call."

"No, you didn't."

"But I'm here right now."

"Paine. I was worried."

Paine touched her waist under the covers. "I'm sorry." It was gentle enough for Rikku to turn on her back and look at her. "I didn't wanna come home high."

"Why do it in the first place?"

Paine ran a hand through hair. "I…" She trailed off.

Rikku squinted at her in the dark. "What?" She grabbed at Paine's arm gently. "What?"

Paine opened her mouth to say something but was cut off when Rikku's cell phone on the nightstand beside her began to ring loudly. Paine begrudgingly reached for it and glanced at the caller.

"Don't pick it up." Rikku told her. They were in the middle of something important.

"It's your brother." Paine handed her the cell before lying down on her back again. She couldn't tell Rikku her plan B. She knew she couldn't, and that alone made her feel shitty. They were communicating now, probably better than they ever had in their relationship, and there were still things she couldn't tell her. Paine wanted to keep her safe, and maybe she wouldn't need plan B, maybe plan A would work just fine. Paine moistened her mouth a little, cotton mouth was the worst.

"Kirill, Ud'm cedi, nyz ehi ayo?"She watched Paine lay there obviously deep in thought as her brother went on in a very animated version of their mother tongue. "Mcyz tyzr mcyz tyzr, zned? Ni'm dnihi?" Rikku shook her head and was about to reply but then paused. "Ni meut dned?" Great. She had been planning on calling and speaking to her older brother after he had his AAT, it was a particularly stressful time for players since the bar was raised after someone in the junior college division had just drowned and the requirements were brought up for review. Then there was their grandmother…."U zem kyurk dy mea mylidnurk dy ayo...aim...zi tyr'd gryz...U vomd wyort yod cemd ziig!...niccy?" She looked at her phone and sighed.

"What happened?" Paine asked her hands were behind her head and she was still looking up.

"Pop is in Bikanel…"

##

11

"So he was like belligerent on the phone I've never heard him so angry."

Yuna and Paine exchanged looks. "He's your older brother babe." If some guy was fucking with Mackenzie and she didn't tell her Paine would be just as upset. With the thought of the little girl Paine pulled out her cell phone and shot her a text.

"And Uncle Cid is in Bikanel?" Yuna shook her head as she grabbed her fork again.

"Apparently he showed up, took some of Knyhtby'c things and left."

Yuna finished chewing on a piece of the grilled chicken from in her salad. "You do know how much some of that old machina is worth right?"

Rikku took the pickle off her plate and rested it on Paine's. "The broken parts? It's from an airship right?"

"Yes, some of the first models Knyhtby'c flew. Depending upon how much he took, he could buy Solae if he wanted to."

Paine swallowed her bite. "Why does he need all that money? I thought you Bayla's were loaded."

Yuna nodded. "The family does have a lot, but legally it's all tied up in business, the docks, the firm, property, father owns a condo in Bevelle still. Then there are the trusts." She looked to Rikku. "He needed money fast then."

Rikku sighed heavily. "He's such a headache!"

Paine pulled the straw out of her mouth when she finished sipping on the flat cola. She glanced at her phone for the time. "At least now you can stop worrying about him." She knew Rikku had lost a little sleep over the matter.

"I wasn't worried." The blonde lied.

"When did Kirill say he was coming in?"

Rikku felt guiltier. "I texted him saying I wanted to pick him up from the port this morning but he didn't reply." She pouted. "I feel like poopy, I really should have told him, last time he was so hurt, now he's just angry, and the last thing I need is another Pop Bayla angry and running around selling Knyhtby'c things for fast cash." Suddenly ringing was heard.

Paine silenced her phone. "It was my alarm; I gotta go back to work." She stood and reached for her tray.

"Don't worry Paine, we'll take it." Yuna assured.

"Thanks." She looked around the cafeteria styled room in the office building where Alex Shaw's headquarters were. They offered it free of charge to all renters of the building since the rent was already high enough. Yuna invited the two to lunch today because she worried about them and missed their company. Lulu had to take Vidina for a checkup during her lunch break and the brunette didn't think she could stand being alone with her thoughts.

"Bye Pypo."

Paine leaned down and kissed her chastely on the lips. "I'll see you later okay?"

"Yeah." Rikku nodded. Tonight they were going to call Dona together and see if she knew anything. Rikku agreed to this only because she knew Paine was right. As twelve days turned to eleven out of nowhere she could feel them running out of time to do something, anything. Paine disappeared soon after saying goodbye to Yuna.

"How are things?" The brunette asked as soon as she was out of earshot.

Rikku turned from watching her wife leave. "I don't know. Good? Can they be called good right now?"

"How did the doctors go?"

"Well enough, we're going to go through with it. I have another appointment this Monday coming up…then on Wednesday Paine and I have to go to the sperm bank and well…then we just have to pick a day. She's pretty nervous about the whole thing. So am I."

"But not as nervous as?"

"No…I've been watching a lot of scary movies to try and convince myself that I don't have it as bad."

"Paine lets you watch scary movies?"

"No, I usually do it when she's showering. She's taking longer showers." Rikku put a hand in her hair and ruffled it slightly. "It means she wants to be alone… Anyway I try watching the movies and think that at least I don't have some un-dead freak chasing me with a chainsaw. Then I realize that I do, in a way." Yuna could see the stress in her face; it made her look older than twenty five. "Then I just lay awake wondering. Well we both do I guess. She doesn't say anything but I know Paine's awake too. We want to go see Uncle B tomorrow."

"It's not an easy thing to have a set date of release."

"It's just getting closer and closer, and sometimes I still feel like we have time, like I have time, but I don't."

"How's Paine?"

Rikku sighed. "She's here most of the time…"

"And others?"

Rikku shrugged lightly. Her wife loved her, and had even apologized for her odd behavior as of late this morning when they got up. They had sat on the train in silence then, when really there was so much to discuss. Still, she knew that when the right moment showed itself Paine would say what she needed

"Well what about the house? Are you still planning to show her on Valentine's Day?" Yuna wanted to change the subject to something a little happier, a couples first home was sure enough the ticket, and for the last ten minutes of their lunch it had, but as the blonde turned to leave Yuna could see her face in the sliding door reflection, she was haunted.

##

Rikku closed the oven door and looked up in time to see Paine key into their small apartment after work. Just as she had expected her major projects were all closed up and she was going to be brought up for her yearly review soon, what this all meant was she was able to come home before Paine for a change and get a few things done. "Pypo." She greeted.

Paine took off her leather jacket and stepped out of her slightly damp sneakers. It smelt amazing in here and she did take notice that the whole apartment looked somewhat touched up. She was a little tired, after lunch with Yuna and her wife Paine had to go back into work where one of the clients was yelling at a trainer for not getting results fast enough. There were few times Paine ever had to raise her voice and say anything at work, and today she had to do just that as well as write up the client and dismiss him from the program. Just because you cheated at your diet every other day didn't give you the right to yell at one of her trainers. Needless to say it had put her in a mood. She did get a call from Big Mack though which was nice. The younger girl called to tell her a grade improvement in math, and that Paine had promised movie tickets if this were to happen. Paine supposed she'd buy them online when she got home. Bye bye bagel budget.

The judo trainer smiled at her wife as she entered the kitchen. "Hey baby." She had been in a sort of a mood lately around Rikku, and she was determined to shake it because it wasn't her fault at all.

"Hi." Rikku slid her arms around Paine's body. "You look tired."

Paine nodded once. "You look beautiful."

The blonde smiled a little into the soft kiss that followed. It was short, but the message was received loud and clear. "I made turkey lasagna." She announced when she let her go. "It's pretty much done."

"Thank you." Paine went into the cabinet and reached for a glass for her iced tea. "When did you get home?"

Rikku shrugged lightly as she reached for her cell phone on the counter. Kirill had finally began to text her back. "About two hours ago."

"Wow." Paine nodded as she closed the fridge and poured herself tea from the juice jug. It was freezing outside, but she still loved this stuff. "Think that's a record?"

Rikku put her phone down after sending a text. "It just might be." She paused. "How was the rest of your day?"

Paine rested her glass down. "Shitty."

"Yeah?"

"I mean, it could have been worse."

"How?"

"Could have come home and you weren't here."

Rikku shook her head with amusement. "Why are you being so sweet on me today?"

Paine looked elsewhere for a moment. "Cause, that's how it should always be." She looked at Rikku. "I can be a real ass sometimes, and to you of all people. I don't like it."

Rikku nodded. Pane had already apologized, she was past it. "Uncle B said tomorrow is fine, to meet up with him."

"Good." She still felt a little angry about Braska and his choices, but Rikku wanted to see him, she was also very curious as to if he had heard anything from Auron or anyone. "Was that him you were texting?"

"No it was Brother. He's coming this weekend. So I guess we'll be at the port all day." Wakka and the Aurochs left for their AAT and then just after that Kirill was flying in. "He's still mad at me."

"Well he's coming, that shows that he cares more than he Is mad."

"What do you think of Pop needing all that money? Kiril finally told me what he took, it was a lot of stuff, priceless stuff."

Paine finished off her small glass. "You've been thinking about it."

She nodded. "Should I? I mean I could think about other things Pops is always going to be Pops, and now that I know he's not dead in a ditch somewhere…."

Paine gathered up two plates and two forks. "You can think about whatever you want Ri."

"I know I know…" She bit her lip. "I just know how he beats himself up over the whole thing." She followed Paine in setting the table by grabbing two simple cloth napkins from a drawer and going with Paine to the table. "Just…it's a lot of money."

"Maybe he's putting it towards scientific research."

"Scientific research?"

"Yeah like cloning. He'll clone himself so he doesn't have to be married to Leblanc anymore."

Rikku burst out laughing. "You're so mean, I like them together a lot actually."

"Well it took long enough."

"Look who's talking." Rikku chuckled as she placed the napkins down and went back into the kitchen to check on the oven again. "I had to ask you to marry me, if I didn't do that we'd still be girlfriends."

Paine laughed a little. "I was planning on asking you on your birthday actually."

"You're such a liar."

Paine grinned. "Alright, but at least I had a ring picked out."

That part had been true. Rikku looked down at her wedding ring. The sphere diamond in it definitely looked like it needed saving up for and monthly payments, Paine had seemingly pulled it out of nowhere, which had to mean she had to have had it in mind. "True." They ate dinner at the table, trying to talk about something other than the days and things they needed to do. After the meal and washing up Paine had showered and changed into some sweats and her black bra. She grabbed their house phone and a folded envelope she had set aside with Dona's new number on it. Rikku was in their room lounging on her belly waiting.

"Got it." She waved the phone a little before sitting on the bed beside the blonde. "You um, wanna talk?"

Rikku should her head. "I doubt she'd tell me anything."

Paine nodded once and began to dial the number on the wrinkled envelope. When it began to ring she put it on speaker and placed it in the middle of them. It rang a few more times before a laugh was heard. "Hello?" The voice giggled.

Paine cleared her throat a little. "Hey is Dona there?"

"Who's this?"

"Paine Kerrigan."

"Dr. P!?" The voice seemed to have known her, and it sounded familiar yet it was nothing like the sultriness of Dona's. "It's Casey!"

Paine nodded in recognition. "Oh shit you sound older." Casey Pilgrim was the eldest sister after Dona.

"Well I am y'know. Dona's been lo—" Just then the phone was snatched and the unmistakable voice of Dona Pilgrim poured out of the speaker. It was always sexy; Paine doubted she could turn that off ever. When they first met as teens the judoka thought she was just trying, but as time passed she realized that's just how her voice was, deep and devious. "Dr. P. what a surprise." She didn't sound surprised at all though.

Paine could feel Rikku watching her response, even though she didn't know why. "Yeah it's me."

"Hm, Note to self, never trust a nudist pot head."

"Nooj told Gippal and Gippal told me."

"So it seems." There was a pause. "How are you?" They hadn't spoken in years; it only seemed right to ask.

"Well I was happy before I found out your brother knows someone I'd rather not know."

"So you call me to figure out what I know?"

"Bart wants to fuck with me for what happened. I get that, but this isn't funny, this is my life D. What the hell did he say to you?"

Dona pressed her lips together. "Well now you need something don't you."

Paine rolled her eyes and wanted to say a few things to her but her wife was right there and even Paine didn't curse like _that_ in front of her. "Yeah."

"Well you'll have to go see him to find out. He wouldn't tell me."

"So why were you looking for me?"

"A friend can't look up an old friend?"

"We were never friends."

"Ah that's right, just like you weren't friends with so many others, tell me though are you and the dwarf still together?"

"Hey!" She had totally groan an inch in the last seven years, that had counted for something right?"

Paine shook her head at Rikku. "Rikku and I are married now."

Dona seemed surprised. "You got married?" There was laughter in her throat.

Paine was growing impatient. "Yeah, but I mean that's none of your business."

"No, it's not."

"What does Bart want?"

She huffed. "I already told you I didn't know."

"So what the fuck?"

"He said you were mentioned on the inside, said he had something on you. That's all he told me."

Paine growled a little. Just talking to Dona even now made her a little crazy. She was probably a different person, hell Paine knew she was, but just being on the phone with her reminded her of when they were younger. "My name was mentioned?"

"That's what I said wasn't it?"

"Yeah but you say a lot of shit."

"Mm, and you do a lot of shit."

"Whatever. Look if you hear anything else, tell me." And with that she hung up the phone. On the other line Dona merely chuckled and went back to helping her youngest sister Tassia with her reading homework.

Rikku just stared at her a little surprised at how worked up her wife had become. "What was that?"

Paine got off the bed and went to hang the phone back up. "I don't fucking know, its Dona being Dona." She said when she returned.

"You let her get to you."

"Yeah, only because she's fucking around with our life like it's a mind game." Paine shook her head. "It isn't funny." She sat back down.

"Okay Okay." Rikku nodded and rested her hand on Paine's knee. "But what does it mean now?"

Paine took a deep breath. "Either I visit him, or I don't."

"What do you feel is best?"

Paine shrugged. "Cause it's you, I wanna make sure I'm covering everything." Rikku nodded and then rested her head on Paine's lap; she curled her body around her leg slightly. Paine looked down at her then, a soft groan escaped the blonde. "What's up?" She asked quietly, not really being able to help herself from playing with some blonde hair that spilled off her lap and near her hand.

"I don't want you to go alone, but I know you'll want to." Rikku revealed as she tried to enjoy the warmth of her wife, worrying never really helped.

"Yeah." She shook her head a little at her wife's ability to know her. "I just don't want him to see you."

"I'll drive you then." Rikku tried. She looked up at Paine who seemed to be thinking of a way out of that too. "We're a team right? You trust me?" Paine nodded. "I saw in this one movie that in a gang the driver is the most trusted."

Paine sighed. "That's true." In their little trio Baralai was the driver, he was loyal, and so was her wife. "Alright but I don't think two people constitute as a gang."

"We can be a really small gang."

Paine found herself smiling. "So you'll drive me and wait outside?" She nodded. "When do you want to go?"

"Before we go see off Lulu, Wakka and Viddy?"

"And before we pick up your brother." She reminded. Rikku picked her head up from her lap and looked Paine into her warm eyes, she sighed softly and then reached for her left hand and played with her wedding band then moved to simply just playing with Paine's fingers, a thought struck her then.

"Play me something?"

Paine let the blonde lace their fingers together. "Now?" Rikku nodded cutely.

"Alright." She said softly.

Moments later Paine sat at the old stand up piano she got as a graduation present four years ago. She was just idly running her fingers over the keys as Rikku got warm by draping the couch throw over her shoulder's and sitting close on the small piano bench.

"I'm ready."

Paine nodded and thought for a moment. "Do you want to hear something happy or sad?"

"Just play me how you feel." Paine chuckled. "What?"

"That sounds so fucking cheesy."

Rikku set her face. "Well it's not like you are so inclined with words Pypo."

Paine nodded in agreement, a little smile in place. "Alright this one is called A Thousand Words." She took a second to try and remember how it began before placing her hands on the ivory. Rikku watched her fingers move quickly for the intro but then slowly down drastically to pull the melody together. It made her eyes water a little. She asked Paine to play what she felt and this tune was so sad. She listened to the sleepy tune, it sounded like an internal struggle, but after a moment or two it didn't stand as sad, just hopeful. She smiled as Paine picked up the tempo a little only to drop it again to the slow melody but then picking it up again in this grand build up.

"Aw." She cooed when what she assumed was the chorus started, Then the bridge, it was a flurry of confusion yet the hope from earlier was still there as the melody rang out loudly in their small apartment. Paine's face was soft; a rare vulnerability Rikku wasn't used to seeing. She laughed as Paine rolled into the deep octaves to finish off the song.

After she was done she left her fingers in the playing position for a moment before letting them fall and looking to her wife at her right. There was something different in her eyes, Rikku couldn't place it. That night though, Rikku was the one to scoot closer under the covers and wrap Paine in her arms.

"It's going be okay." She had whispered as her hands ran down Paine's arms till they reached her hands; they were clammy and cold and Rikku tried her best to warm them with her own. "It's okay."

##

He ran a colossal finger over the image of her body slowly remembering how soft and new she had felt, how stolen. The power, he supposed that was what had added to the pleasure. A creek from the bunk above him caused Auron to look up.

"She your girl?"

It was the first thing his cellmate had said to him, and the fact that he hesitated angered Auron.

"She will be."

##

He woke to the small studio apartment in the middle of the night to her loud coughs. The moonlight mingled with the bright street lights that filtered into their tiny shared space. It was all they could really afford and it had been home for the past six months of her treatment.

"Are you alright?" The question didn't seem real anymore, it didn't seem fair to ask. She wasn't and they both knew it.

They had shaved her head last week and the new look made her cheek bones seem even sharper. He didn't know how she lived with it; he didn't know how he did either.

She looked up into his warm brown eyes. They had seemed so sure before, now, all she saw was pity.

"I'm fin—" She wasn't able to finish as her stomach lurched and a new puddle of blood splattered onto the linoleum floor. He was by her side in seconds. His arms around her torso helping her guide her head toward the red stained toilet bowl. He tried to ignore the protrusion of her rib cage as he helped.

His hands were still strong though, sure, gentle as they had ever been. She closed her eyes as the taste of iron made her dizzy.

She pitied him.

##

10

Paine threw a wild punch to the punching bag without her gloves on as soon as she walked in. Her hand pulsed with pain as some of the skin tore. She curse under her breath and leaned her forehead against the bag and took a breath to catch herself. Her eyes watered as her body continued to demand chemical rebalance.

Now wasn't the time.

**AN: As you may have guessed the piano number in this chapter is from the FFX-2 Collections and it is called "A Thousand Words"Also snaps to SuiGen for being my 50th review! Thank you for always letting me know what you think, it's great motivation.  
**

**KathleenDee**


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